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Where the darkness ends and you begin
Chapter 14 - Crossing Paths

Chapter 14 - Crossing Paths

Lirran carefully asked his question again to his Navigator standing atop the still water’s surface ahead of him. I failed, didn’t I?

But Kaza shook her head. No, not at all. You recognized, even if in the last possible moment. I don’t expect you to recognize every danger and deceit immediately, but I do expect you to learn from it and start to develop a better way to navigate these lands. Stand up now from that muck.

A look around told Lirran that he had sunken even deeper into the mud by now. He got up and tried to rid himself of the dark thoughts and feelings this place had smeared on him. It wasn’t really her then, I guess.

No. But it did feed on the imprint of your guilt. You did all the projection, which is why I keep this form. She gestured towards her soft and pleasant mental image of herself. It is like a masque, for it both conceals and protects who I am. Therefore, such minor creatures are not able to feed on my own memories and imprints. She walked across the water’s surface back to the path and Lirran followed.

What would have happened to me if it had gotten me?

It would have submerged you in the emotions here. Every act that causes despair adds another drop to this landscape. Until your body expired, you would have felt nothing but regret and anguish, letting it flow out of you to further build up this place. Then, when you did expire, your mind would disperse and release all those bad intents and impressions, growing their numbers.

They were back on the road and many of the nests had turned to landscape again. Kaza pointed ahead on the way. We have some more to go before we can rest and awake.

Where are we going?

You wanted to see beyond, my apprentice, you must see for yourself.

They did not come far until Lirran saw something in the distance: a hill rising some ten feet above the water, plants growing on it and semblance of life fluttering and hopping around. Is that it? He hastened his step and soon arrived at the hill’s base. He saw several different paths converge and cross on the hill. When he had arrived at its top, he could see far into the distance of the swamp, the dark murk seemingly gone from the air about him. He saw even other nests trying to prey on the vulnerable and hopeless.

Kaza arrived there too and was quickly swarmed by what seemed to be butterflies.

What is this hill? Why is it here in despair?

Because it is hope. It is the light in the darkness. When I saw you and freed you from your darkness, I knew you would have no issue finding this place. I have spent much time here. From here, I can see many people caught in this swamp without being truly swallowed yet.

She made a sweeping motion towards the landscape and when Lirran followed to look, he noticed something. There are ripples in the water, where reflections of people are visible but not the people themselves. They are crying!

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Yes. You are learning to see what the seagull sees. You can know where they are, but the closer you move towards the material world, the stronger its rules are being imposed on you, including the rule of distance. If these people were perceptive, you could talk to them from afar, but we cannot help all, especially not those that close their mind off to a world beyond the material one. Some people must be helped in person.

I feel sorry for them. Lirran tried to look closer to the people’s reflections, but was interrupted by his thought. A soft furry creature had snuggled up to his feet. And what are those? They are not trying to prey on me, are they?

No. Negative and aggressive emotions arent the only ones, and thoughts can make impressions too. An old man died with hope for his son’s future and I made sure this hope could find more hopeful things. They grow in each other’s presence; they seek to grow too. Their presence here denies the swamp at least some purchase and the despair around them keeps them from growing into blind belief or careless optimism.

Lirran looked at the furry creature. It was the furthest thing from threatening, but then again, the fluffiest dog he ever had seen also had the nastiest teeth. So these are also dangerous?

There are a multitude of judgements and a multitude of rules we impose on them. If we allow them to grow out of proportion, they will. If we impose order on them, they will do that. It takes time and discipline, but taming the wild is possible, your kin of human is called the people of the field, are they not? They have tamed the wild into fruitful places where much food can be grown. Without our minds imposing order, all life, in the mental and material realm, would devour us to grow itself. Dark and light exist, but it is our job to straddle the strip of grey uncertainty.

Lirran felt oddly reminded of his meditations. Only shadows have hard lines because they have a shape.

Very good, Lirran. Yes, the concrete shadows are shapes with their own rules, like that which attacked you. They had a clear intent: trapping you in guilt and self-loathing. There is an intent there, one that would see you hurt or dead to see its fulfilment. That we can say with certainty is a hard line, no strip of grey twilight in between.

Lirran watched more and more creatures circle him.

Remember this place well. It might be the first site of our communal meetings once we are apart. I may spend much time drifting through the darkest oceans half-asleep, but not all of that my mind resides in or around despair. Once you learn to attune and understand more concepts, you too shall find ingress at other points.

Lirran stepped to the far end of the hill, towards where they would still head completely outside of the swamp, but he felt a pull, it seemed the wind that smeared and blurred the mental realm had become stronger, the call of his body louder. I feel like I shouldn’t continue on.

That is true. You have exerted yourself getting through all that. You are still tethered to your body. If we were to strain that tether too much, it would snap.

Even despite my idol?

Your idol is in the end a material thing that is not a part of your corporeal body. That’s the point of it. Your mind could maybe hold on to the memory of it, but not for long. A body and a mind both have a shape that at the foundation is the same. That connection is what makes you divine in the end; sever that connection and both your mind and body will become something truly dark. We will return here, it will become easier. For now, return and harmonize what you learned here.

Lirran agreed and let the wind take him like spreading his arms and letting himself fall backwards, letting the natural direction of his body’s call guide him.