There was no other choice. To assure the Knave would give his heart she had to break it. Guaranteeing her own breaking in the process.

Hatter had helped her figure out a way to do it. A way to make sure every pawn moves the way they needed them to. The only piece they were unsure of was the Knave. As long as he held the feelings he did the Knave was never going to be able to do what was needed. He’d never bring her to her death. Not when she had filled both of their heads with false promises she now had to take back.

Doe waited in their spot at White Knight Lake. A place they were guaranteed the Queen wouldn’t hear them.

It didn’t take long for the Knave to arrive with only a sword at his side to protect him. Not that a sword would be able to do much in protecting him from her.

A letter would have been easier than facing him, but she couldn’t be that cruel. To write such words only for the last time he’d see her to be when her head is rolling down stone steps. She knew doing this face to face wasn’t truly kinder. It was simply an assurance to make sure his heart would break. That someone saw how broken it was. Of course the only way to know the plan was successful was when the Queen took his heart.

Forcing a smile Doe hopped off her perch on the cracked marble that had once been a knight piece. Half the horse's muzzle had been caved in as its base only sunk deeper into the lakeside every time they visited.

She went up to Fleix, to the Knave. It was hard to think of him as only a role. Of the role in this game he was meant to play.

The Knave worked for the Queen of Hearts in every life. Felix had admitted that the Queen had saved every life before him in away by taking their hearts. How it was fate that every Knave was to have their heart broken. That was also when he had admitted that he had been tempted by the Queen's offers of taking his heart in this life as well. How tempting it had been to feel nothing.

Then he came to the Academy.

It was Doe’s fault he hadn’t given into temptation. She had changed the story in a way Hatter warned her against since the beginning. Some nights she’d stay awake avoiding the Dream wondering if Felix would have already given up his heart if he had never met her.

She shouldn’t have, but she hugged him in greeting. It felt safe in his embrace as it always did. Safe in his strong arms where no one else could touch her.

“Em, what’s wrong?” Felix asked, his soft smile turning to worry.

It was unfair that he was able to see through her so easily. Just a look was all it took for him to know something was wrong.

“I’m fine.” Doe forced out, stepping back out of the hug. It had been a mistake. One she wanted to be able to keep making.

Unconvinced Felix caught her. “You’re a terrible liar, as always.” Tilting her chin he forced her to look at him. She wanted to look anywhere but didn’t. Couldn’t. “Em, you can tell me anything. You know, don’t you?”

Of course she knew that. He was the only one she could freely speak to. The only person who truly listened to her was him. They could spend hours talking nonsense or revealing parts of themselves they had thought dead long ago. For cards sake she had plotted a whole gruesome murder in front of him and he had kissed her at the end for the first time. The murder had never happened, but there had been so many kisses after.

Even now Doe wanted to close that tiny distance between them and press her lips to his. All it would take was tip toes and leaning forward just a bit. It would be easier than what she had to do. To be lost in a tangle of fabric and skin. Of fuzzy thoughts and warm embarrass. Felix had always had a talent of making her forget when she wanted to most.

No.

Doe pulled away. To do this she couldn’t afford to be distracted by his touch or sweet imagined kisses. Honestly she should find a way to shut his mouth to stop any more honey coded words from coming out as well. The only way she could think to keep him quiet involved neither of them doing much speaking at all.

That could not happen.

“Knave-”

“Since when do we call each other by our roles?” Felix interrupted with a playful laugh. There was hope in his eyes. She never had been able to understand how he’d been able to hold onto such things regardless of roles.

Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“It is the proper way we should be addressing each other.” Doe explained, looking away.

Grass rustling could be heard with him stepping closer. She took a step back to keep what distance she could. “Since when did we listen to those rules?” He asked, his steps pausing. “Since when do you follow those rules?”

Never. Not till now.

There was a reason there was a target painted on to Doe’s back. She knew there was more to it than breaking rules. There was something in her blood that they needed. It was just their luck that she was given the role they needed to hold the blood. Doe breaking rules was more of an excuse for them to get their hands on her.

“Knave,” She pushed through, unable to give him an honest answer. None of the words she was about to say would be true. There should have been gratefulness she hadn’t been cursed with the inability to lie. “I think this should be the last time we see each other like this.”

Silence fell between them at those words. No trickling water or buzzing of rocking horses. Not even the sound of their individual breaths hit her ears as she waited for a response. She hadn’t dared to anticipate his response, or to look and see for herself.

“What?” Was the only words to break a too long a silence. Voice of confusion turning with hurt. “Why?”

Tell him. A small voice inside of her said. Tell him the truth.

No.

The truth would bring understanding, not heartbreak. Felix wouldn’t willingly give the Queen his heart if she told him the truth. He’d want to find another way that didn’t exist.

He wouldn’t believe her either if she kept her head lowered the way she was.

Shaky breath Doe forced herself to look up at him. Facing dark circled eyes filled with confusion and hurt. How she wanted to reach out. To whisper to him that all would be fine as she ran fingers through tangled hair.

Nails biting into the meat of her palms was her own reminder that she couldn’t. That she’d have to make herself bleed before she’d be able to reach out to comfort him ever again.

“This,” Doe gestured between the two of them. “Was never going to truly happen, not more than it already has. Even this was never meant to be given our roles. Felix, you are the Knave, and I am-”

“And since when has that ever mattered?” He snapped.

Maybe she should have prepared better for this.

“Since I came to the Academy you have taught me that we are more than what the Sleeping Sickness claims us to be. That even in the Dream we don’t have to be our roles.” Felix was fighting.

Doe never would have been able to prepare herself to be worth fighting for. That someone like Felix would fight for her. Against her technically at this moment, but still for her. He shouldn’t have. Doe wasn’t worth it.

“You are more than Alice.” Felix said gentler as he took her hand. She fought the urge to pull away despite herself. “I am more than the Knave. Doe please don’t tear us apart because of what others believe or because of this stupid Dream we’re trapped in. We will find a way to break this curse. Together.”

“Together.” She repeated in a whisper as she had so many times before.

It was meant to be a promise. A promise she was meant to keep. That they kept making to each other. That together they’d find a way to change the rules they were forced to live by every time they closed their eyes.

She could see the pleading in his eyes. How he was begging for her to stay. Assuring that they would find another way.

There was none.

Despite everything in her screaming not to she pulled her hands from his. A cold came over her. A shield and away to assure he would end this. “Stop it. We both know those were made up promises made by fools. Fools who thought love could cure all. Well love isn’t ever going to be enough.”

“Em-”

“Don’t.” She warned knowing his words could draw her back into his arms. He didn’t reach out this time, thankfully. “None of this was real. We both know what we felt was something we both were using against each other. Even if you weren’t I was. You were a tool to get to the Queen and your usefulness has ran out.”

A lie. All of it was lie.

Apparently Doe was a good liar.

Felix staggered back. A hand clenching at his chest balling the dark tunic he wore. “Em, no. Please don’t do this.” He begged.

But she had to.

“You are the Knave.” She stated, taking a step closer to him, pushing him into the defensive. “You were a tool for my use and nothing more to me. I tried to be nice about this, but you wouldn’t let me. Now goodbye, Knave.”

Turning she felt his fingers brush her wrist. That was all she gave him time to do before running off. Away from White Knight Lake, past the crossroads and chatting flowers. Running deep into the woods where she knew Hatter would be. In the clearing she found him at his tea party waiting as he promised.

“Alice,” He greeted with a curl of his lips. She never could understand how easy it was for him to play his role. “Has it be-”

Was all she allowed him to get out before throwing herself into his arms. Sobbing, she felt the moment his body softened under her. No amount of comforting head pats would stop the tears. A small pool had formed around their feet but not even that made her stop.

“It had to be done.” Hatter whispered into her hair, but not even that assured her she’d done what was right.

This was the plan. To break the Knaves heart and have the Queen come for her. How she’d willingly give herself to the Queen.

Doe would still do so, she had to.

For tonight though she’d let herself mourn the love she’d so willingly given up for the others. For the hope of a better future.