“You really like art.”

Cecil turned around with a confused expression. He had been so immersed in the painting that he hadn’t heard the comment.

“You really like art,” Silas repeated.

An uncomfortable look flashed in Cecil’s eyes. “I didn’t bore you, did I?”

Silas shook his head and walked over to stand next to Cecil, gazing at the painting. “It’s fascinating to watch you look at the painting with so much joy in your eyes.”

Blushing, Cecil turned his head to the side. Once he calmed his heart, he turned back and changed the subject. “How do you like this painting? It’s the first work of a young painter, but the emotions conveyed feel so real. I think they have a bright future ahead of them.”

“It’s not bad, but even I, who doesn’t understand art, feel strangely nostalgic when I look at it.”

Excited, Cecil nodded without stopping. “Right, I think so too.”

From then on, Cecil tried to impress Silas with his knowledge of art. He showed him the best pieces and explained their meaning and composition.

“You really know a lot about art,” Silas praised, curious about where this love and knowledge came from.

Scratching his nose in embarrassment over the praise, Cecil smiled sheepishly. “Actually, I majored in art.”

Surprised, Silas looked at him. “Why so surprised?” Cecil puffed his cheeks.

“No, I just assumed you studied business or something like that.”

Cecil scoffed at Silas’s thought. “You mean because of my family?”

Silas nodded.

“Nah, they don’t care what I do.”

Cecil paused, his expression showing an internal struggle. Silas noticed and asked, “What’s wrong?”

After hearing Silas’s question, Cecil breathed out and looked at him with a mix of seriousness and a hint of shyness. “The truth is, I really want to open a gallery of my own.”

He laughed self-deprecatingly. “But I don’t think I’d be good enough to do it.”

Clenching his fists, Cecil waited for the expected laugh, a laugh followed by ‘Forget about it, you don’t have the brains for that!’ just like Louis had said when he first shared his dream.

But the laugh never came.

“That’s a great idea. It really suits you.”

Cecil looked at Silas with wide eyes. “Don’t you think it’s ridiculous?”

Silas looked at him with wonder. “Why? You know so much about art and are so passionate about it that I almost get jealous.”

Turning beet red, Cecil thought he had misunderstood. Silas, jealous of art? Because of him?

“Because I never chose to follow my passion.”

Oh. Cecil’s heart dropped. Jealous of my passion.

Seeing the imaginary tail that was previously raised high now falling, Silas couldn’t contain his laughter.

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Cecil looked at him in confusion.

Leaning down, Silas whispered into Cecil’s ear, “Of course, when I see how intently you look at the paintings, I wish you would look at me that way.”

The warm breath hit Cecil’s sensitive ear, and within seconds it burned. Jumping away in shock while covering his ear, Cecil looked at Silas in astonishment before frantically turning around to see if anyone nearby had heard the scandalous words.

Noticing Cecil’s accusing look, Silas just shrugged and winked, making Cecil even redder.

After calming down, the two of them sat on a bench inside the gallery. Remembering Silas’s earlier words, Cecil looked at him curiously. “So what is your passion?” Boldly, he added, “I already told you mine, so it’s only fair to share yours.”

Silas pretended to ponder Cecil’s question with a complicated look on his face.

Was it such a secret passion that it couldn’t be shared? A thought flashed through Cecil’s mind. With wide eyes, he wondered if it was something illegal.

Knocking Cecil on the head to stop his wild thoughts, Silas opened his mouth. “When I was younger, I wanted to have my own game company. I even made a few games on my own in high school.”

“Wow.” Cecil looked at Silas with starry eyes. “That’s so cool. Why didn’t you do it?”

Letting his gaze wander, Silas thought of the past.

When he was in college, money was always tight. No matter how many jobs he took, the money was spent faster than he could earn it. When he faced the decision to drop out, Louis appeared.

Louis offered him a temporary job at his newly founded company. The money was good, and Louis seemed sincere, so he accepted.

Once Silas was about to graduate and told Louis about his plans to work at a game studio, Louis persuaded him to stay.

“Silas, think about it. How many people want to make games? You’re only a beginner, and to be honest, you’re not even as good as most others. What kind of future could you have? How much money?”

Louis knew that money was Silas’s weak point, so when he saw Silas hesitating, he patted his back comfortingly and gave the final blow. “Didn’t I help you when you needed it the most?” Silas nodded. “Just stay here with me, and you’ll never have to worry about the future.”

And so, Silas officially started working with Louis.

After hearing the story, Cecil was furious. “What a despicable man! Not only did he laugh at my dream, but he also persuaded you to give up yours! Hateful bull!”

Seeing Cecil so angry for his sake, Silas felt warm. Cecil really was precious. Suddenly, he thought, Cecil truly deserves the best. But could he give Cecil only the best?

Shocked, Silas froze. He was only an orphan, someone who had never really experienced love and family. How could he be sure that he would be able to give Cecil all that? How could he be sure that he wouldn’t also hurt him?

“Hey Silas! Did you hear me?”

Noticing a hand wave in front of him, Silas’s thoughts returned to the present. He forced down the incoming doubts and smiled apologetically at Cecil. “Sorry, I was absentminded. What did you say?”

Internally, he scolded himself. What was that about cherishing Cecil better than Louis? He couldn’t even pay attention to him when he was sitting right next to him.

“I was saying that I had a brilliant idea.”

Silas tried to concentrate on Cecil’s words.

“My family has a game company, so how about I recommend you to my mother? Then you could quit your job with Louis and pursue your true passion.”

Cecil sneaked a look at Silas’s expression. How would he react? Maybe he would be angry about going through the back door…

Silas absentmindedly nodded.

But Cecil didn’t notice that something was wrong with Silas. “You don’t have to worry about going through the back door. If I recommend you to my mother, she will inspect your skills even more thoroughly than usual because she thinks I only know good-for-nothings.”

Cecil laughed at Silas. “So if she chooses you, it’s only because you are good enough. She wouldn’t just take you to make me happy.”

Then he grabbed Silas’s hand and pulled him to look at more paintings.

Time flew, and soon it was evening, and they left the gallery. Although Silas didn’t show it, his worries intensified.

When they sat down on a bench in a park, it just broke out of him. “Cecil, I think we are not suited for each other.”

“Huh?” Cecil thought he had misheard Silas, but the other was staring at him with a solemn look. “Why? I thought everything was going well-”

A thousand thoughts swirled in his head, but he could grasp none of them. I’m not good enough for you. I made you cry even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. Maybe I can’t love you enough. I’m only using you to not be alone.

But none of these worries left his lips. Instead, one of the crudest excuses ever left his mouth. “I’m a bottom, and so are you. We simply aren’t compatible.”

Cecil looked at him in bewilderment. Seeing his face full of confusion, Silas looked away in guilt.

Cecil, on the other hand, felt desperate. Just when he thought he wouldn’t mind leaving all feelings for Louis behind and wanted to love Silas wholeheartedly, the other was backing away.

When he heard Silas’s reason, Cecil almost wanted to sink into a hole in the earth. He had sworn to himself that he would never tell Silas about his dream, but right now, it felt like if he didn’t say it, Silas would go away, and he would never have a chance to catch him again.

So despite his embarrassment, he grabbed Silas’s head with both hands and screamed, “I had a wet dream where I topped you!”

The echo of the sentence resonated through the luckily empty street. With a burning face, Cecil whispered, “So even if I don’t look like it, I think I’m a top. Problem solved, right?”

He looked at Silas with hopeful eyes.

“No, that’s not the point, I-”

“Silas,” Cecil grabbed his face harder, desperation in his eyes. “We’ve only known each other for such a short while, why not give it more time? What kind of problems could there be that we can’t overcome? I mean, we overcame the biggest one called Louis.” Cecil tried to joke, but his voice cracked.

Silas grabbed Cecil’s hands that were on his cheeks and gently took them down. Looking at Cecil’s clear eyes, which were brimming with tears, the words just flowed out of his mouth. “I’m afraid I’m not good enough for you. You deserve love, someone who looks at you with eyes so full of love just like your own. Someone who can make you happy, a family…”

He let go of Cecil’s hands. “I don’t know if I’m able to give you what you deserve.”

But Cecil grabbed Silas’s hands instead, his grip firm and unwavering. “I also don’t know if you can give me what I deserve, and I also don’t know anymore what a happy family is. It certainly won’t be easy to be with me, but why would you give up before we even tried? If I feel like you won’t treat me right, then I promise you I’ll break up with you.”

Cecil looked into Silas’s eyes, his voice steady despite the tears. “But how am I supposed to break up with you if we aren’t even together yet?”

Holding Cecil’s hands, Silas felt the warmth they brought him. Looking into Cecil’s eyes, he saw determination and confidence, lighting a small flame of hope in his chest. Gripping Cecil’s hands tighter, he made up his mind. “Promise me that you will break up if I can’t make you happy anymore.”

Showing Silas an ugly smile, a smile mixed with tears and snot, Cecil promised. “I promise.”

“There, there, don’t cry anymore.” Wiping Cecil’s face with a handkerchief, Silas thought of how he could cheer him up. “So, let’s go to the cinema tomorrow evening, alright?”

Cecil’s eyes sparkled with happiness. With a big smile, he hugged Silas and lifted his head to meet his gaze. “Yes! I’ll pick you up, okay?”

Hugging Cecil back, Silas replied, “Okay.”

— THE END —