Author's Note
First off, this is what I like to call a shits and giggles book—
No-no-no-no, bullshit. You don’t get to say shits or giggles or anything else! Your ass is going to sit there in the corner and not say a word. You decided to cut all this from the first book and turn it into Book 0. Then your lazy ass decides, instead of writing a complete prequel book, you’ll have me narrate the cut flashbacks and “flesh it out a bit.”
So, no, you don’t get an author’s note. You’re going to sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done while I get this over with.
Now that that’s taken care of…
For those out there who think they must read books in order, that means you haven’t read Book 1 yet. Let me introduce myself; I’m Rhiannon Kachou. You’ll meet up with me properly in the back half of Book 1, which is a whole other load of crap I’m still pissed off about, but I won’t get into that right now.
For those who’ve already read Book 1 and just had to find out what went on before, there’s no completionist achievement here, you know. You can just move on to Book 2 already. No? Fine, whatever.
Someone told the big guy upstairs that publishers don’t like really long books, especially for first-time authors. This book is a collection of flashbacks that were cut from Book 1 due to size and someone’s impatience for Z Day (you know who you are.) If you have nothing better to do, you can go back and compare the two and figure out what fits where.
The scenes piece together James and Shae’s relationship during his high school years. Fair warning, this is some serious young adult fiction, aside from the porny parts, which he also cut. Maybe he’ll make a Book -1 where he just puts all the adult scenes he’s written and cut. Now that, I would be happy to narrate instead of this teeny-bopper crap.
Well, I guess I’ve stalled enough. I’ll try to make this somewhat bearable. But just remember, you’re reading this by choice. No one is forcing you; you can move on to the more grown-up, zombie-oriented parts in Book 1 and beyond, you know.
Oh yeah, spoiler alert: there are no zombies in here; we’re way before Z Day. Fair warning.
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Easter egg/spoiler alert 2, he had this whole running bit through the books about James’s kid having to watch everything through Books 1 and 2 so they could be prepped for what was coming in Book 3, but he cut that out, too. So, you won’t see any of that either.
No big loss; it was a half-baked idea to begin with.
Besides, Viola is a HUGE pain in the ass. You’ll understand later.
Z Day -4,756
[See, told you. WAY before Z Day. OK, I’ll let baby James talk now. -Rhiannon]
JAMES
“James, get up; you're going to be late for the bus!”
I moaned but managed to roll out of bed at my mother's yell. Glancing at my watch, I realized I had less than 10 minutes to get to the bus.
“I'm leaving; see you tonight. Love you!” my mom said.
I heard the front door slam, marking my mother heading off to work. I glanced around as I headed to the bathroom. My younger sister, Miria, had already left for school. She rode her bike to the local junior high school as she was five years younger than me.
I finished brushing my teeth and glanced in the mirror. My face had finally cleared up to the point that I only had the occasional zit. I'd let my dishwater-blonde hair grow out a bit but still kept it in regs. It looked greasy this morning, but I didn't have time for a quick shower. I washed the sleep out of my eyes, noting they were green today. They seemed to bounce between green and blue every day, so I was never sure what they would be from one day to the next.
I threw on a pair of old jeans with holes in the knees and a T-shirt. The holes weren’t so much a style choice but more an “I’m broke and can’t afford new ones” choice. I pulled on a pair of old black combat boots and my hand-me-down black trench coat. As I ran through the kitchen, I grabbed a package of cherry pop tarts and headed out the door.
My mother couldn’t seem to catch a break. She’d had to move onto my grandparent's property a few years ago after she'd divorced her second husband. She worked her tail off trying to care for my sister and me.
My grandparent’s place was on the outskirts of South Austin in a neighborhood that hadn't been fully “civilized” yet. On the West side of the street were your typical cookie-cutter houses, while the East side was still wooded. My grandparents had moved in and built their place back when they were outside the city limits. They had watched Austin grow around them, so now they had nearly an acre of land where most houses in the neighborhood might have a quarter of that.
My grandfather had converted a large greenhouse on their property into a small three-bedroom house with a living/dining/kitchen combo room. The whole place might have been 600 square feet. It was so small my sister and my rooms didn't have doors. Where doors should have been, we had bed sheets hanging from tension rods. But I couldn’t complain, I had my own room.
I waived at my grandparents’ house as I crossed the yard. I loved my grandfather to pieces. He was funny, clever and could do anything with his hands. My grandmother was much more standoffish, and we had never been close. I didn't know if anyone saw me, but I was in too much of a hurry to worry about it.
I saw the bus waiting for me so I ran. I arrived at the bus stop out of breath as I wasn’t in the greatest shape to begin with. Too much TV and computer time and not enough outside time had taken its toll. I jumped on the bus and grabbed a seat in the middle, next to my friends.
Megan was a senior who lived up the road from me. I'd been crushing on her since last year but never had the nerve to ask her out. We'd become good friends, and I would typically walk her home even though I would have to double back to my house.
Pete was another senior on the bus. He was right at two meters tall and looked like he should be playing for the NBA, not a high school team. He was kind and would give you the shirt off his back if you asked. We had gym together and he once convinced me to try out with him for the school soccer team. At tryouts, I'd collided with one of the other guys as we raced for the ball and knocked myself out, effectively ending my soccer career.
“Hey, James,” Megan and Pete said, breaking off their conversation with Paul, a guy I didn't know much about aside from the fact he really liked BBC programs like Doctor Who. He still seemed nice enough, though.
“Hey guys,” I managed around a mouthful of dry pop-tart. I had always been the quiet one of any group. I mostly kept to myself and only occasionally added to any conversation. I had to really know someone before I could relax and be myself. It didn't happen very often.
The conversation resumed about last night's TV shows, and I half followed it, mostly just watching Megan.
I'd asked one of our mutual friends if Megan had any feelings towards me. They told me Megan didn't, but I couldn't accept that. There's no way she didn't feel something for me, not with how she talked to me and hung out and stuff. I knew I would have to ask her myself, but I didn't know if I had the nerve. And what if it was true? Then what? I smiled and nodded as the conversation continued and I found myself holding my breath every time Megan smiled at me.
R. J. High School, where I attended, was in a not-so-nice part of town. I wouldn't call it the slums, but you could see them from the parking lot.
School and I didn’t exactly get along. I was one of the few whose birthday just happened to fall in the magic spot that kept me from starting school when I should have. Instead, I started a year later than everyone else. This guaranteed I’d always be the oldest kid in class.
To add insult to injury, I’m not a great scholar. Somehow, math is easy for me, but that’s it. I get bored in class, then sidetracked, and eventually, I tune the teacher out and do my own thing. This led to me repeating my freshman year. So, thanks to my birthday and my atrocious attention span, I was pretty much two years older than anyone else in my class. Being an 18 year-old sophomore isn’t as great as it sounds.
Everyone at school pretty much left me alone due to how old I looked. Even though I was technically only a sophomore, I looked older than most of the seniors. Half the people in school thought I was a drug dealer, and the other half thought I was an undercover narcotics officer.
Because of this, I found my social click centered around upperclassmen. Constantly hanging out with them had matured me to the point I didn't enjoy hanging out with anyone in my grade or lower. It wasn’t that I was a snob; I couldn’t afford to be. I just didn’t find their company that interesting.
My first class was my favorite: Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (AFJROTC). I'd joined this year, having watched the people in it last year. I liked the structure of the program, even if it meant I had to shave every day. Being able to grow a full beard since the sixth grade was not as cool as it sounded.
I really enjoyed Chief Ramirez, the enlisted head of the program. He was a retired military policeman and missileer whose son was in the Border Patrol down in South Texas. The Chief was a great guy whose heart was always in the right place.
I could not say the same about Colonel Finchner, the officer of the program. He was a pain in the rear. Strict, inflexible and uncaring, I did everything possible to avoid him.
None of my friends were in JROTC or my next class, history. Megan and Pete were both in my math class, though. I'd placed high in math and ended up with them as partners.
My lunch period followed. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d been told about Megan's feelings or lack of towards me. I finally found my courage as we sat down together for lunch.
“Hey Megan, can I talk to you?” my stomach was doing flip-flops.
“Sure, James, what's up?” she followed me over to an empty table, leaving our friends behind.
“Well,” I began, sweat breaking out across my forehead, “I, uh, wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
“Yup, that's why I'm here,” she mused. “What is it?”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat that threatened to choke me. “Uh, I talked with Tina last night and wanted to know,” I coughed, trying to clear my throat. “Do you...like me?”
“Of course, silly, we're friends, aren’t we?” she smiled.
“Yeah,” I sighed, almost giving up, but I couldn't stop now. “But, do you like me as...more...than a friend?”
Her smile faltered.
“James, don’t get me wrong, I like you, but just as a friend…” The rest of Megan’s words were lost as a roaring sound filled my ears. I could feel my face flush, and in the blink of an eye, the girl I’d been crushing on for the last year and a half patted my hand and escaped back to our group’s regular table.
I don’t know how long I sat there in a daze, staring off into space while the rest of the cafeteria moved on around me. Megan had been my first real crush, and it had taken me so long to get up the nerve to ask if she had feelings for me.
A slight blur of movement drew my attention to the next table. I caught a brief glance of a dark-haired girl waving. I wasn’t sure who she was waving at, but before I could turn and look, the space across from me was suddenly filled.
[OK, pause, time-out, car! Whatever stops this shit show. Yeah, that blurry dark-haired girl? Guess who that was? Yeah, me. See? I was here the whole damned time right from the beginning, from before that, if you want to get technical. I came before the blonde short-stack, and that a-hole still cut me out of the story! Wait, right, you haven’t read that yet. Sorry, OK, rant over. Game-on! -Rhiannon]
“Well, that didn’t go well.”
The newcomer’s words brought me out of my stupor.
“Wh…what?” I looked at the girl across from me. I’d never seen her before. Neither had I seen a girl with white hair like she had. It was cut in a lopsided pixie cut, with her bangs falling into her eyes.
She scowled in the direction Megan had gone. “Her, the one who gave you the brush off. Not a very kind way to do that,” she puffed air up to push her bangs out of her eyes. “I mean seriously,” she went on, “who still uses the ‘we’re just friends’ speech? That’s an old one, even for me.”
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
“But we are friends,” I offered feebly.
She frowned at me. “Wake up. If she was really your friend, she would have come up with something better than the ‘I like you as a friend’ bit. You know, give you a way to protect your manly pride, as it were,” she grinned at me.
“Who are you?” I managed.
“Oh, me?” she seemed to think about it, “I’m Shae.” She hesitated, glancing around before saying, “Want to get out of here? I’m sure you’ll be useless the rest of the day if your hurt puppy dog expression is any indication.”
“I’m not a hurt puppy dog!” Not that it wasn’t true, but her words still made me mad.
“My bad,” Shae said, holding up her hands in defense.
The bell rang then.
“I gotta get to class,” I said as I stood up and headed for the door. *Who was that?* I thought. At the door, I stopped and glanced back.
Shae was leaning back in her chair, watching me with an odd smile. Her fingers gave me a little wave as I was leaving. The last thing I saw of her was her piercing blue eyes that seemed to say something to me I didn’t understand.
Just as the strange girl had predicted, the rest of the day was miserable. All I could think of was the bus ride home. What was going to happen when I got on the bus this afternoon? Would Megan talk to me? Would I still walk her home…did I want to walk her home? I wasn't sure. We'd walked home together all year. Did I still want to, now that she’d rejected me? Part of me was angry at her, and another part was angry at myself. All of me was embarrassed and confused.
It turned out I didn't have to worry about the bus. The short-haired girl, Shae, awaited me when I walked outside. She was leaning against a white Monte Carlo, a bit older but still in good condition. It was a beast of a car with a solid body, a decent engine, and a backseat the size of a twin bed. But I wouldn't find out that last part until much later.
Shae gave me a most peculiar look and nodded towards the car. My heart was suddenly pounding in my chest, and I found myself inexplicably walking towards her, away from the buses.
*This must be some sort of setup for a joke. One of the guys had to have put this girl up to this. There's no way a girl who looked like her would give me a second glance,* I thought.
I noticed her clothes for the first time. She wore an open-neck white blouse tucked into a pair of black jeans and ankle boots. She leaned against the side of the car with the calm grace of a panther lying in wait of its prey.
My scalp started to tingle as I broke out in a sweat that had nothing to do with the Texas heat. I hated that I seemed to be sweaty all the time. It could be twenty degrees outside and snowing (if it ever snowed here), and I'd still be sweating!
Time seemed to slow down as I approached, giving me time to get a proper look at her. She was a bit shorter than my meter seventy-five height, athletically built but still curvy in opposition to my stouter physique. Her skin was light but with a slight olive tone that didn’t quite fit. Above her strong jaw was a pair of lips, full and luscious, causing my sweat to intensify.
“I wanted to apologize for earlier. I’m not used to being forward, and I think I might have overdone it a bit,” Shae said.
I could only nod dumbly in reply.
“Give you a ride home…as a way of an apology?” Shae smiled, breaking whatever trance she’d held me in.
I looked up, past her smile, to those mysterious blue eyes that had caught me before. They were a deep, rich blue that I instantly knew I’d do anything for. I shook my head, trying to free myself from this strange control she seemed to have me in and glanced away.
“Uh,” I said, finally finding my voice.
*Uh? What do you mean, uh? A really hot girl is offering you a lift. What’s there to think about?* my inner voice asked me incredulously.
*I don’t know who she is; I don’t even think she goes to this school!* I thought back.
*So what?*
*I don’t want to get kidnapped!* I thought.
*Who the heck would want to kidnap you? Now listen, I’ve two words for you: hot and girl!* my inner voice practically screamed.
*Yeah, but—*
*Which would you rather do, sit on a smelly old bus with the girl that just dumped you for the next hour—* the voice started.
I glanced at the bus. *Well, we weren’t really going out, so she couldn’t—*
*OOOOOOOOrrrrr, get in the hot girl’s car, maybe get kidnapped, but you’ll be in a HOT GIRL’S CAR!*
*Fine.* This conversation with myself all occurred within a split second. I usually talked to myself. It helped with the boredom school always brought on.
“Sure. This your car?” I finally said.
“Nope, stole it off one of the locals,” Shae’s quick smile was reflected in her eyes. “Hop in.”
I paused at the car door, hand on the handle.
*Get in the car!* my inner self screamed at me.
I obeyed and climbed in.
“So,” she started as we left the parking lot, “what was the deal with...”
“Megan,” I provided.
“Yeah, Megan. What's her story?”
So, I broke down and told her about the last year, how we'd become friends, how I'd wanted more and apparently, she didn't. It was a relatively short story once I said it out loud. When it was over, I sat there in silence, trying to figure out why I’d told her all of that.
“Well my friend, it sounds to me like you're better off,” Shae said cheerily.
I grumbled under my breath.
“What was that?” she glanced at me.
“Nothing,” I mumbled.
“You like to mumble, don't you?” she asked.
I sighed. “Sometimes.” When I looked over at her, she was grinning.
“I've never seen you around,” I managed to get out. I kept finding myself staring at her and forced myself to look away.
“Oh. I was visiting someone when I stumbled across your little soap opera there in the lunchroom. You looked so down; I figured you could use someone to perk you up.” She glanced at me, “did it work?”
I thought a moment, unsure what to say.
“Yeah, didn't think so,” she looked back at the road as I gave her another direction towards my house. “So, you from around here?” she asked.
She sounded like she was using a line from a bar...not that I'd ever been in a bar, but I'd seen plenty on TV. “I was born here. How about you?”
“A true Austinite, nice.” Ignoring my question, she continued, “Got any family?”
“Yeah,” I started, slowly getting over my terminal shyness. I realized I was happy just to be talking to this girl. The more I looked at her, the more beautiful I thought she was. I ripped my eyes away from the staring once again. “Mom, sister, grandparents. My dad's up in Georgetown. You from around here?”
“Wow, lots of family here; they all from Austin, too?” she plowed on.
“No,” I went on, noticing she was avoiding all my questions. But every time she looked at me with those rich blue eyes, I forgot everything else. “Father is from Detroit, while my mom is from Houston. My grandfather was a master plumber who moved around a lot.”
The next several minutes were filled with chitchat about nothing. Like I said before, I am the quiet type, so chitchat was something I avoided. I could listen all day; people said I was a good listener but never engaged. Now, I was chattering away as if it were second nature. Something about this girl compelled me against my instincts.
By the time we got to my house, she had a dossier on my life, and I still knew nothing about her.
“Thanks for the ride,” I lamely offered, ignoring the voice in my head that’d been getting steadily louder during the ride.
“No sweat,” Shae said.
“Will you be at school tomorrow?” Trying desperately to think of something to say to keep her here a little longer. Something that wasn’t the perverted ideas from my inner self’s mouth.
“Dunno. Maybe,” She smiled as she drove off.
I watched her go, unable to look away from the departing taillights. “Did that just happen? What was that?” I caught myself thinking aloud and had to shake my head to clear it.
My brain finally pulled together something clever to say right about the time I walked into my house. It never failed; I could never say the right thing at the right time. I always came up with something great after missing the moment. I wondered if I’d ever get better at that. The folks in the movies always knew what to say.
*I’m an idiot,* I thought, and for once, my inner self didn’t argue.
I did my homework in a haze. I kept staring at my books while replaying moments from the day. The smile Shae’d had on her face when I left the cafeteria. The way she puffed her bangs out of her eyes. The strange perfume she wore that had cut through the old car smell. I finally gave up on my homework, telling myself I’d do it on the bus in the morning. It would give me a reason not to talk to Megan unless Shae gave me a ride to school instead. This thought kept me up well after I’d gone to bed. I wished I’d gotten her phone number, not that I’d have the courage to call.
*Sure, yeah, as if knowing she would be picking you up in the morning would help you fall asleep,* I thought. My mind raced from one outlandish fantasy to another before sleep finally claimed me.
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[So, James didn’t know about the following part. I learned it from Shae much later, so I’ll fill you in a bit on what was going on from her perspective. Otherwise, this whole thing will be a sausage fest…not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. -Rhiannon]
SHAE
I stared at the waterfall printed on the tiny ceramic thimble. The words “Niagara Falls” were written in stylized cursive.
“I have no idea why you collect these things,” I said, placing the thimble back on the display rack. There had to be 100 of the tourist trinkets on the shelf, proudly on display for all to see. They were immaculate, not a speck of dust among them.
“What, thimbles? They’re great! Small, cheap and easy to get. No matter where you go in the world, you can find one,” Shelby said, lounging back in her overstuffed chair.
Night had fallen over the city, and I’d found myself drawn to visit my only friend in this town. I first met Shelby while on a mission in Seattle, and we’d hit it off immediately. I’d lived most of my new life in Louisiana, with a brief stint in Houston, unlike Shelby, who never seemed to stay anywhere longer than a decade or so. Her carefree and adventurous attitude was infectious to all those around her. Her ‘spirit’ was why I was in the spot I was now.
“But it's an old lady hobby,” I protested as I picked up another with Japanese writing on it and a picture of a Torii. “And what is this, the sacred thimble?”
“Shae, I am an old lady,” Shelby laughed. She looked as if she might be in her early 30s. As she crossed the room and took the thimble from me before placing it back on the display with the greatest care. Once it was down, she turned and faced me. “OK, what is up with you?”
“What do you mean?” I said innocently.
Taking me by both arms, Shelby forced me to look at her. “You know I love your company, but you were just here last night. Your normal routine would have you lounging in your room with your nose stuck in a book tonight.”
“Last night is kind of why I’m here,” I said, avoiding her eyes.
Shelby sighed. “What I said was true. You’ve been alone as long as I’ve known you, Shae. You need someone or something to take an interest in. Hell, even a pet,” Shelby grinned and walked back to her chair before flopping down in it.
Shelby’s home was nestled deep in the hill country; her closest neighbor was several kilometers away, giving her absolute privacy. The house wasn’t big, but it was lavish. The decorating was something out of a funhouse, as no two things matched, and all the colors clashed. The house was a collection of things Shelby had picked up in her wanderings across the globe.
“I’m quite happy the way I am,” I said. “I don’t need anything.”
“You’re so in a rut,” Shelby shook her head.
“A rut?” I asked.
“You’re all about wakeup, go to work, go home, go to bed. That’s it, and you actually like it!” Shelby said.
“Hey, I read. And besides, what's wrong with that? My master is pleased with my work.”
“Your master is a dried-up old coot from ages long past!” Shelby threw up her hands.
“Hey!” I snapped.
“No offense, don’t get yourself into a tizzy. I’m just saying she is in as much of a rut as you are. I can’t remember the last time she left her compound.”
“Why would she leave? She has everything she needs. If she wants something, she has it brought to her. She doesn’t need to go out,” I said, realizing I wasn’t sure if I was defending my master or myself anymore.
“That is all well and good for someone her age. You, on the other hand, are young, gorgeous and in desperate need of a social life,” Shelby said.
I rolled my eyes at her and blew my bangs out of my eyes.
“Yeah, I meant to ask last night,” Shelby continued, “what’s with the hair? Last trip down you were sporting your traditional blonde. Now you’re snow white, and I don’t mean the Disney character.”
“Don’t ask me. I woke up one morning and it was white. Nothing I do will change it. Dyes don’t seem to take,” I said.
“Huh,” Shelby frowned in thought.
“Why? Don’t you like it? I thought it looked kind of good.”
“No, it’s cute on you and all,” Shelby said. “It's just that after so many years, it's not like you to up and change.”
“Hey! I didn’t do this, it did it on its own!” I barked. “Besides, this sort of thing is known to happen to my people—"
The sound of the front door opening interrupted my reply, which was good because I didn’t know where I was going. The door closed, and a man entered the room a moment later.
“Hi,” the dark, curly-haired man said. He was young, in his mid-twenties and from somewhere in what was currently known as the Middle East. He was also Shelby’s current, personal tap boy.
“Hello, Malik,” I said.
Malik moved to Shelby before leaning down and kissing her hello.
“Hiya you. Good day?” Shelby asked.
“More or less. You need anything?” he asked.
“No, I’m all good,” Shelby smiled up at him.
“OK, gonna go take a shower,” Malik nodded at me and left the room.
“Have fun!” Shelby’s voice trailed after him before turning back to me. “And that’s what you need.”
I made a face.
“No, not him!” Shelby laughed. “You need companionship.”
“So you said,” I shook my head.
“Besides, this Pagoda character is a stickler on protocol. If you don’t get yourself a local tap boy, he’ll assign you one.”
“And I’d never touch them,” I said sharply.
“Exactly. We both know how that would go. The last thing you need is to be rocking the boat with everything that’s going on right now,” Shelby said.
My sigh was my only answer.
“So, like I said last night, go find someone. Or hell, multiple someones, for that matter. Man, woman, whatever. I’m not judgy.”
I snorted at that one.
“In this century, women are allowed to go after men, you know. It’s encouraged!” Shelby said.
“So you said last night, and I told you I’d never pursued a man before,” I said.
“And what did I tell you?”
“Not to go after a man, go after a child,” I droned. “Which is a bit foul even for you, Shelby.”
“Not a child,” Shelby corrected me, “a boy. High school boys seem rather popular nowadays. As an added bonus, they’re full of hormones, so they’re always ready for—”
“I get it,” I held up my hand to stop her from going into detail.
“I’m just saying you might want to try what they have to offer,” Shelby said. “I found Malik at a high school carnival.”
“So you said last night. Then you told me to go cruising high schools,” I said.
“No, I dared you to go cruising high schools, knowing there was no way in hell you’d go through with it. Then I could mock you mercilessly about—”
“I cruised a high school,” I said, sick of waiting for her to shut up so I could speak.
“Get out!” Shelby sat up and leaned towards me, her face a mask of shock. “You didn’t!”
“I did.”
“I never thought I’d see the day that my dearest Shae would go cradle robbing!” Shelby’s grin was ear to ear. “But seriously, the next time you go, you need to—”
“What makes you think I didn’t find someone?” I said in an offended tone.
Shelby looked at me flatly. “You went to one school. OK, so you look about the right age for a high school senior so no one would stop you. You probably walked around for what, 15 minutes and decided it was a stupid idea before—”
“I found someone,” I said more calmly than I felt.
“Shut. Up!” Shelby came across the room and dragged me down onto the couch. “Tell me everything!” The look of excited anticipation on Shelby’s face was contagious.
“Well, most of what you said was true. No one bothered me as I walked around, and after about 15 minutes, I was done. I’d never been to a modern school; I had no idea what I was doing. Just because I looked like them didn’t mean I was like them. Looking at them and thinking about…well…I just couldn’t. They’re children, Shelby.”
“But…” Shelby said, hanging on my every word.
“I was on my way out when I came across a boy asking a girl out and her turning him down flat,” I paused, remembering the crestfallen look on James’s face.
“She friend-zoned him?”
“Friend-zone?” I asked.
“The whole ‘I just want to be friends’ spiel.”
“Oh. Yes, I guess she friend-whatever’d him,” I nodded.
“Harsh,” Shelby hissed. “She could have let the kid feel her up at least to save his pride.”
“That’s what I said! Well, mostly. She left the poor guy just sitting there with his heart ripped out,” I said.
“What did you do?” Shelby asked.
“I sat down and tried to console him, of course.”
“Of course,” Shelby nodded, “and how did that go?”
“About as well as you’d expect. He got up and left,” I said. “I’m…a bit out of practice.”
“I should think. When was the last time you were on a date?” Shelby asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, thinking back. “Not since…” I trailed off in memory, my finger tapping my lips.
“OK, wow,” Shelby leaned back. “Was he at least cute?”
“Well…yeah, but he’s a child, you know?”
“When you were his age, were you a child?” Shelby asked.
“Well…no,” I admitted.
“No, you weren’t,” Shelby said with finality. “You were out on that ship, sailing the coast robbing—”
“This isn’t then, Shelby. Things have changed quite a bit,” I said firmly.
Shelby leaned back and looked at me for a moment. “So…not going to see him again?”
“I gave him a ride home,” I said.
“He didn’t have a car?”
“No, he was going to ride the school bus home,” hearing it aloud, I cringed.
“Do I want to know how old—”
“This was your idea!” I snapped.
“OK, OK,” Shelby held up her hands in defense. “Well, this is good.” Shelby sounded like she was trying to convince herself. “You actually went out. You got out of your comfort zone; I’m impressed.”
“Oh…don’t condescend me. Shut up!” I shook my head.
Shelby eyed me suspiciously. “You going to see him again?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I head back in the morning, so I won’t know my schedule till I get home.”
“Do you want to see him again?” Shelby cocked her head to the side, examining me.
I was long in reply and ended up simply shrugging.
“What’s his name?”
“James,” I said. Saying his name sent something shooting through my stomach.
“James. James is good, better than Bubba, which seems unusually popular around these parts,” Shelby smiled. “Actually, I knew a Bubba once. He was really good at…” and Shelby was off on one of her wild stories. There was no interrupting her once she got going.
I sat and listened as she told her tale but found my thoughts drifting back to the boy named James.