I’m feeling… Overwhelmed. A lot has happened over the past few days, and I kinda just want to lie back down. I could feel my headache growing worse from the light of the phone in front of me, and while yes, the giant bruise on my face was somewhat grounding it still hurt.
The message… did not bode well at all. My theft in New York was nowhere near my first, it was just the first one that I messed up that badly, got noticed.
My very first time was when I was sixteen, didn’t even know what magic was then. Shoplifting from a big box store was all I needed for an adrenaline rush, but I was on top of the world then, things were actually looking up for once.
From there the first big profile theft was when I was twenty-one. Found out about a magical artifact some big shot in Michigan had and decided to play vigilante. At that time I didn’t know a lick of space magic and only had the tiger mask.
All the thing was a barely enchanted ring that could probably make it rain if you did a dance, but the tiny bounty on the thing was enough to get my career really started. The lessons I learned from committing the crime were well learned too.
Mainly don’t send calling cards, but if you do it’s more funny to send it to the wrong person.
The heist in Scotland though, the one mentioned in the note?
That one was clean, no trace left, no witnesses, and absolutely no word from the “victim” about anything. It was just after I signed on to help the doc with his work, which was its whole own ordeal.
What? I was expecting to work with an upstanding alchemist who I could glean secrets from, not an unwashed and naked madman. At least he was equally surprised when he met an ambiguous rabbit beastman instead of the clueless mortal he seemed to be expecting.
I also wasn’t expecting to end up in the middle of theater shenanigans, then only seven members strong, but just barely infamous enough to make me think twice. However, I still took the opportunities I was given, and when I heard Reed loudly complaining about some old enemy constantly causing trouble for his family.
That prompted me to look into a particular Baron Von Highcreast, a quite infamous wizard in his own right… and the unfortunate holder of a healing pad.
You know… the kind of artifact that is extremely difficult to create… and operate… and only three or four exist in the world.
An artifact powerful enough to bring people back from the brink, just sitting in the basement of a castle… completely unattended.
To cut things short it’s currently sitting under my ‘couch’, and no one knows about it. Most of the theater believes that my transformation magics are enough to heal all of my major wounds. While possible, I can’t for the life of me figure it out.
The thing is though, there was nothing to trace the crime back to me, so the fact that it was called out… I don’t care for it.
You know what? I can figure that whole ordeal out later. There aren't any other signs my phone was hacked, and I swear this reeks of magic anyways.
I put on my headphones and finally left my house, dropping an ‘on my way’ in the group chat. A 2000’s rock playlist began to blare at a low volume and I just let myself enjoy the day’s breeze.
It’s rare that I go outside while human, but even without the fur, the cool winds helped calm my mind. I kept my pace slow or as slow as my music let me go. The constant drums and harmonies just added enough drive in my step that I actually might make a good time to the Doc’s place.
I was about halfway there when suddenly, Michael Russo happened. The Mexican man was running full tilt down the dirt road, and right past me.
Gods, it would be so funny if I could trip him with space magic right now. I let out a sigh and yelled out to him. “Do you make it a point at not saying hello to magical strangers on the road?”
Even without turning around, I could hear him skid to a stop. “What in the hells is wrong with your voice?”
“At least you’re focusing on the important stuff.” I deadpan as Michael runs up to walk next to me. He then promptly has to dodge a pocket of hardened space and takes a few steps away.
“So what’s with your face? Also, how are you human?” He says as I take my headphones out.
“Besides the bruise, this is pretty normal, except things are toned down due to the whole over-exertion thing.” The partial lie flows pretty easily as I take my shirt off to emphasize my point. “Albeit the bone plating is new to me.”
Michael visibly flinches at the sight, probably not expecting to see the markings and bone armor. Once I got my shirt back on, a serious look was drawn onto his face.
“You probably just need to use a stabilization artifact, they are common with self-enhancement schools. Think blood magic or Casper’s harmonization abilities." The look he’s giving me now turns to one of concern, “It’s probably not too late to correct where things have gone wrong.”
I waffled back and forth a bit on the advice, half the reason I rely on the masks is because I didn’t want to destroy my body with minor transformations. The kind of things that are happening to me now…
But, if there is a reliable way to actually master that section of my school. “You know what, that sounds like a good idea.”
Michael immediately brightened up, for someone who ties Reed to being the biggest adrenaline junkie of the group, he is insanely smart when it comes down to the small details.
Speaking of the resident reckless one, “How’s Reed holding up? I can’t imagine he’s happy after Deus Ex jumped him.”
Michael instantly stopped where he was, not saying anything for a bit. “I think it’s gotten to the point where he wants to kill him…” I paused walking as well, that… Reed has had it out for the robot for a while but…
“There’s no way the conductor would condone that.” I reasoned, “That and if he did… something like that, it would destroy the theater.”
“Yup.” Michael got himself to start walking again, and I followed, “Problem is he’s been ignoring la conductora… for a bit. The New York job was actually pretty bad.”
“Let me guess, we were just supposed to let the monster do its thing, but Reed somehow convinced Sable to do something stupid and she decided all she could do was try and reign him in?”
Michael nodded with a hum, rolling his eyes in the process, “I forget that you’re not as new to this as you are.”
“Heck yah.”
Things moved onto lighter topics from there, specifically my fights on the last mission.
“Dude, have you seen the video of the last few minutes? You can see the distortions of the spell and everything.” The volume of Michael’s voice suddenly shot up.
“Ha! Yup. Locked them down for two whole hours!” I couldn’t help but smile even with my bruise.
“We never have to worry about Supid Magnum ever again!” I had to dodge Michael’s hands as they flailed about with his excitement.
“Nah ah ah. Doubt it,” I chuckled, “I would probably have to use one of Sable’s resets every time I try.”
“Well, then have Sable reset you.”
“You know she did right? Right after I dived off the building.”
At that time we just got to the front of the doc’s place, and apparently what I just said caused some dots to connect in Michael’s head.
“Why didn’t you ‘port back with Sable?” Concern was evident in his voice, “Don’t get me wrong the last move was cool but… nowhere near as safe.”
“idontknowhowtouseit”
“What?”
“No one has ever told me how to ‘port back and I never asked.” I tucked into my shoulders and brought my hand up to the back of my head. I can feel my face start to flush red, grateful that the bruise got in the way of that.
Michael's laugh echoed through the forest as he wiped away a tear. “All you have to do is give a command into your communicator ‘doc go home’, then it’ll kick in.”
“My communicator…” My head tilted in confusion. “You… you mean my phone… that I keep in my expanded pocket?”
“Oh… no one gave you a real communicator…” Now the general embodiment of the situation was getting to Michael, “I’ll ask Taylor if she has a spare.”
“Dude, no please.” I said with a sillier tone while I opened the door to Doc’s place, “She already had a conniption when she saw my portal bracelet, I don’t want to give her the chance to get back at me. I could just get and hack a smartwatch… Oh hai.”
Standing just inside of the foyer was an extremely tired-looking Faye, and an utterly exhausted Sable. By the look on the latter’s face, I don’t believe that she’s gotten a bit of rest recently.
“Archer?” Faye’s lighter, melodic voice catches my attention, “What the… what’s wrong with your voice?”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Why is that the first thing everyone points out?” I say with a sigh, even if it’s a side effect of bad magic it still sounds cool.
In my opinion at least.
“He’s stuck dealing with backlash,” Michael explains as he closes the door and starts to head to the basement. “Is Sable okay?”
“yes”
“NOPE! She’s going home to get some sleep right now.” Faye basically commanded, causing Michael and I to begin laughing. Sable gave everyone a pouty look but she resigned herself.
Michael led the way down the stairs, followed by Sable supported by Faye. I brought up the rear, and of course, I had to ask a question. “So when is the last time Sable got some rest.”
“She hasn’t slept since Reed woke up and she had to put him back under, and now that we know you’re okay-” Faye was saying when either she or Sable missed a step, causing the pair to stumble. On instinct, I reached out with my space magic only for nothing to happen.
Actually, my arms started to burn a bit until I stopped trying to use my magic.
Thankfully, Michael was there to cushion the pair at the bottom.
“What in the hells is happening?” Another voice sounded off from the other side of the basement, rushing over to us. It was Rose, looking more worried than usual.
The sight she was treated to was probably a funny one from her angle. Michael had just managed to catch the railings at the bottom step. He was stuck straining against them on his tiptoes while both Faye and Sable struggled to get back up on their own feet.
Meanwhile, I was a bit higher up awkwardly clutching at my forearms from my little mistake.
“Archer?” Rose seemed to brush the situation off already.
“Yes?” I looked up to meet her gaze.
“What the hells is wrong with your face?”
“Well, it’s at least different.” I say a bit too snarky of a manner, “At least you guys don’t mind me as a human thing.”
“Of course, we don’t mind.” Faye said while she got herself righted up, “It’s just- ow… it’s just that this is new and all.”
“There's a good reason none of you have seen me like this before,” I say as I tromp down the rest of the stairs. “Normally it’s a lot worse than this.”
“Is that how that really works for you?” Rose seemed to be a bit confused, but she just shrugged it off. Ya know, wibbly wobbly magic can be stupid at times.
Once everyone was firmly planted on the basement floor, or in Sable’s case on Faye’s side, I noticed something was off. The place was still set up from yesterday. Normally the Doc has the place back to its usual mess as soon as the mission is done, if not sooner.
A few things have been dragged back towards the center of the room in what looks like attempts to get to stuff, but it still felt too open.
“Where’s the Doc?” I ask as I pull my own workstation out from under the stairs, booting up the terminal on it.
“No one knows.” Michael responded, “He helped bring Reed up to his room then left. No one has seen him since.”
“That’s concerning,” I said in a manner that was not concerned at all. The program I was running was more important at the moment. “All right, teleporter is calibrated, Sable should be good to go home.”
“Thanks, Archer,” Sable said sleepily, before letting go of Faye. I was then sent into shock as she hugged me. Don’t get me wrong it's something I’m not uncomfortable with, but with my pains and bone plating, it wasn’t something I was ready for at the moment. In fact, I guess the armor caught Sable off guard as well, her tired mind shorting out to the point where she actually knocked on my shoulder. “What the hells Archer you’re supposed to be comfy.”
“That’s only a thing when I’m not all screwy.” I sass and push the other villain off, pointing her to her teleporter. She then spends the next few moments stumbling into the chamber. I then hit the button.
“Initializing… Five… Four… Three… Two… ONE!” The chamber fills with light alongside the synthesized voice. Sable’s silhouette suddenly straightens up taking on a more serious look, her head then snaps forwards, eyes opening with an all-seeing light. Then she’s gone as if she was never here to begin with.
The teleporters are yet another thing the members of the theater don’t fully understand, we just use it on blind faith.
“Dude,” Rose’s voice catches my attention, “You should’ve seen the look on your face when she hugged you. It was priceless.”
I stuck my tongue out, which only caused the druid to laugh even more. Said laugh was then interrupted by Faye clearing her throat. I turned to her, only to see her hand held out to me.
“Already?” I sigh, looking back and forth between the terminal and her hand, “I only just got here and-”
“You know you don’t have to do the doc’s dirty work anymore right?” Faye said with a smile, “He can get ahold of some new schmuck to do all that.”
I instantly gave her an offended look. “One, I am not a schmuck, thankyouverymuch. Two, I’ve been modifying a chimera so that it knows how to beatbox.” I gave a malicious smile back, my pointed teeth and blank eyes probably not giving the best look, “Casper and Michael want to challenge The Saints to a music battle.”
“Wait a minute. You’re the one who modified the living statue to reflect Reed’s stuff!” Faye accused me… Well, she’s right, but the smile is all she’s gonna get.
I finally rested my hand on the one she had been holding out and braced myself.
The feeling of foreign magic intruding into your body is never a pleasant one, especially when most of your mana channels are fried. But… Well…
Faye, like me I guess, hasn’t entrusted her whole villainous career to the theater. When she’s not masquerading as the multiplicative presence Choir, she’s a nurse.
Yeah, the place she works at is still a back alley clinic meant for supervillains and heroes that have fallen from grace, but it’s a reputable one and somewhat legit too. And even the doctor there doesn’t know who she really is, to them she’s Faye Pennington, the strict nurse who doesn’t take any kind of crap.
Some of the patients even find out that she has a power, the ability to ‘rebalance’. Basically what she's doing to me right now, adjusting my ability to interact with my magic or ‘power’.
She’s able to do a lot more, especially since her real ability lies in her multiplying magic.
My thoughts are suddenly jolted inwards when my space magic opens up and I have to reign it in, demanding my own control. My transformation and show magics soon follow suit. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as soon as the foreign magic was gone.
“Thank you so much,” I say a new wave of exhaustion taking over as my body gets re-used to the control. Then a giant pear gets shoved into my free hand.
“Okay, that bruise is ugly, get rid of it,” Rose says unprompted. I don’t disagree with her but I still give her an incredulous look.
“What if I want to keep it? It’s different from normal, spices things up.” I turn back to the terminal, ignoring how blinding the lights are, “Plus, aren't you the one that says everything natural is beautiful.”
“No… that is a big nasty bruise. It’s ugly!”
“Fine, fine, never thought I would find the day you would think I’m ugly.” My double voice said over a mouthful of one of the most delicious fruits I’ve ever eaten.
“ARCHER BOWEN DON’T YOU DARE TWIST MY WORDS LIKE THAT!”
Pain flared through my side as I slowly fell to a knee, one hand was clutching my waist while the other was holding a half-eaten fruit in the air. The hand that Rose had just tazed me with was now next to my head, shaking with anger.
“What is going on over there?” another voice called out from the other side of the basement, from just behind a bunch of glowing tubes.
That’s when I realized that everyone was here. Like, basically everyone, sans Reed, and now Sable.
Rose, Michael, and Faye were still standing next to me. Taylor and Casper were just behind the equipment, probably looking at the chimera I was modifying. Finally, how I didn’t notice Erik and Lucy chilling on some random couch next to the teleporters stumped me.
Great, now Reed was basically the only member left who hasn’t seen me at my worst.
“Don’t worry, he had it coming.” Faye betrayed me when she responded.
“All I did was call it how it is,” I say as I get back up to my feet. But one look from Rose made that couch by the teleporters look very interesting…
Like, I had absolutely no idea it was ever here, its presence was actually confusing.
I also just so happened to remember that I need to check something with a few of the doc’s experiments. It’s totally not an excuse to get away from the angry druid.
“Oh, Taylor!” Michael chimes up, “Do you have a spare communicator that Archer can use? His phone is stuck in his pocket during fights.”
“Wait, is that why you didn’t ‘port back yesterday?” Taylor muses, then she processes the question and a devious look crosses her face, “I got to ‘port home real quick I’ll be right back. OH! Archer, I’m gonna need your costume anyways.”
I paused mid-chew to think if I even remembered to grab my costume. No, yeah, I did, stuffed it in the pocket just cause I had nowhere to put it and forgot to take it out.
Honestly, the pocket can become a bit of a trash bin at times.
I quickly finish eating the pear, core and all, and the magic infused within it kicks in. The minor pains I’ve been experiencing fade, and more importantly to Rose, so does the bruise. The sound of the synthetic voice counts down overhead.
I look over at the teleporters while I start to pull out the costume, the eyes on Taylor’s form snap open with the all-seeing light. Her hand goes up and dramatically flips her hair off her shoulder, and she’s gone.
“Dude, you should try for this form more often, with some contacts and foundation you could pass for human.” Rose says now that she’s calm, “Or you could just say that the whisker things are just a look.”
While I was in the middle of taking out my costume I pulled my phone out to use as a mirror… And yeah, on both cheeks I had three parallel lines running horizontally on them, like whiskers.
At least they don’t look like a bent fork.
“Yeah… they're okay…” I mutter as I set the folded costume and boots onto a table Michael dragged over. “It’s just… Um…”
“What?” Rose interrupts.
I let out a sigh and kept my eyes on the teleporters, “Right now I just feel… wrong. It’s like my mind is telling me I need to change to the next thing as soon as possible, that who I am isn’t good enough…”
I let a lull come and go. No one spoke up.
“I… I guess that’s why I stick to beastman forms, they're something I’ve built and are presentable.”
“Why don’t you make a human form then?” Rose asked the obvious.
“Cause I don’t know if I’ll ever find the right one…” I lied.
“Are you at least working on it?” Faye said with a ‘you better be’ kind of tone. I just gave her a blank smile, much to everyone’s annoyance.
“Then what are you working on then?” Casper quickly leaned in on the table, apparently, he has been listening in this entire time.
“Oh um…” I blank for a moment, “To be honest… nothing ey.” This was actually surprising to those present, and they say that I’m the expressive one. “Haven’t had a need to since I finished with the bull… But, I’ve been thinking about a more combat-oriented form, since I’m gonna be fighting supers more.”
“Ooh! You should do something freaky, intimidate them.” Casper immediately said.
“No, do something like… Super cute.” Rose chuckled, “Make them feel guilty for trying to hit you.”
“Whatever it is, make sure it can take or dodge a hit.” Faye demanded, “Never assume that a healer or your magics will be there all the time.”
That last one from Faye I actually took into consideration, whatever I’m making a mask for next would be my frontline… Oh, Taylor’s coming back.
The LEDs inside and out of Taylor’s personal capsule started spinning, growing brighter and brighter until they took up all of the space inside the tube. Then she was walking out like nothing happened.