Earl Earle Earlando Earlson Earlacle the Fourth!

That was the name passed down to him!

His great grandfather, Earl Earlacle!

His grandfather, Earl Earlson!

His father, Earl Earlando!

And the name that was, after generations of honor, given to him!

Earl Earle!

So it was that he became Earl Earle Earlando Earlson Earlacle the Fourth! And he was determined to live up to this name! For many years, he lay in his room, rotting and festering, eating away at the fortunes passed down to him from generations past. No longer. He was no longer afraid. The desire to bring the family honor won out over all else. It was in his blood.

Now Earle faced his very first challenge. Rising from his bed.

This was no ordinary bed; it was top of the line, gifted to his grandfather many years ago for his efforts in saving the world. A frame crafted with wood from the world tree, which the elves forcefully stripped from the tree even as it wailed in pain. A mattress made with the finest dwarven technology, using hexagonal springs of magically charged mithril that was repurposed from their holy sword forged eons before. Pillows stuffed with the finest feathers of the Harpy Queen, who had gone missing not long after it was gifted, though the pillows are somehow replaced every 3 months. Sheets made from the garments of a thousand angels, whose clothes are gifted from the creator god, a set which each angel can only ever obtain once.

Suffice to say, it was quite a comfortable bed. But Earle had the willpower to defeat this foe. He knew he did. His father did, and his grandfather before him had as well, otherwise he would not have been sired. So Earle rose. And he turned. And he shuffled.

Just as he was about to reach the edge of the bed, the door to his room opened with a bang.

"Earl Earle!"

It was his maid, Mayid.

"You said you would be getting out of bed on your own today, and I trusted that you would... But it's already past noon!"

Earle was shocked. It was already past noon? There was no way this could be. He looked out the window. He looked out the wrong window. Turning his head, he looked out the right window this time. To his surprise, Mayid was telling the truth. It was already past noon! This wouldn't do. This absolutely wouldn't do. He would have to go back to sleep until sunrise.

Earle shuffled back toward the center of the bed and lay himself to rest once again. Tomorrow would be a new day. A day where he would get out of bed on his own. Before noon. Maybe even at sunrise. As sleep was about to embrace him, he heard another shout.

"Earl Earle! If you don't get out of bed right now! I will! Force you out!"

Mayid. If only she knew how terrifying this bed was. If only she could appreciate how hard her master worked to get up every day.

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"Mayid. Let me give in to the beast, if only for a day. Just one day. I beg of you. You know not how difficult it is to fight this foe."

Mayid looked to the ground, her hands clasped, a shadow falling over her face.

"I understand... Master."

Looking up, she had a resigned smile.

"Thank you for understanding, Mayid..."

Earle could now let sleep consume him, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Tomorrow was a new day. Tomorrow he would win. Tomorrow... snap. Earle opened his eyes once more.

"Mayid, why did you snap?"

Earle could hear something crackling. It was a little hot under the sheets as well. Almost like someone had lit a fire underneath his bed.

"I don't think you need this bed anymore, Master."

Mayid walked away with a look of disdain, closing the door behind her.

"Mayid? Mayid?? Mayid!"

Earle was panicking. He couldn't afford to lose this bed. But he could not act on his own to save it.

"MAYID!!!"

The only things that would survive this fire were... wait.

"Oh... haha."

The entire bed would survive. It was made of the finest materials, after all, and was entirely fireproof. Earle was fine with being cooked alive... Ah, shit. He definitely was not fine with being cooked alive. Earle rolled to the end of the bed, tears streaming down his face, and hit the ground with a thud. Once he was off the massive bed, he could finally see the source of the fire. Mayid had lit the fireplace. He had been outsmarted, but at least it led to defeating his first foe.

Mayid once again opened the door to the room, signaled by Earle's thud. She was glowing with satisfaction.

"Are you ready for breakfast, Master?"

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Breakfast. This too was an ordeal.

"Mayid, can you not cook something other than eggs? I'm quite tired of them."

Mayid had served the family since the time of Earle's great grandfather, Earl Earlacle, but she had not changed since then. Neither her appearance, nor her cooking repertoire. Fried eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, omelets. At least she was pretty.

"Master, can you not be satisfied with just eggs? I poured my heart and soul into making this dish for you."

The same words won him over every time. But not today. He wouldn't give in.

"I don't think eating only eggs is good for nutri-"

Mayid leaned over from behind him, grabbed his fork, stabbed some eggs, and stuffed them into Earle's mouth. He was cut off before he could finish speaking. He finished the eggs with tears streaming down his face, and his determination was renewed. He would make something of himself, if only so that he would never have to lay his eyes upon another dish made of eggs.

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It was finally time to visit the outside world. Mayid trailed behind him as he walked through the maze-like corridors of his mansion.

"Master, are you sure you're ready to venture to the outside world?"

Earle scoffed.

"Of course I am, Mayid. Who do you think I am? I am Earl Earle Earlando Earlson Earlacle the Third!"

Even if he said so, it was merely false bravado.

"But your twelve elder brothers ventured outside, and never returned. What if the same happens to you?"

That was exactly why Earle's words were merely bravado. His elder brothers... they all ventured outside, and not a single one of them came back to the mansion. It was likely that they were all dead. But he had to know what was so alluring that made them all leave. Unfortunately, he was the only one that had never gotten a real glimpse of the outside before Mayid tightened up on restrictions. Earle wasn't too hung up on it, though, since he knew it was for his own protection.

As he was lost in thought, Earle reached the front door.

"I'm sure nothing will happen to me, Mayid. What are the chances that I step outside and I'm struck by a stray spell from a void portal?"

The chances were fairly low, to be certain. So Earle opened the door, taking a couple steps outside, and was showered in purple light. Purple?

"Ack!"

"MASTER!"

Earle was struck by a stray spell from a void portal, straight to the cranium. To think that this would be his end...