Chapter 86
358/1 Days
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Day 1:
Not sure why I even decided to write this. It's not as if she would know and I have already experienced everything I write down myself. This is stupid.
Day 8:
Okay, my therapist is a mind reader apparently. Did not even need to see the empty pages of this notebook but somehow she knew I didn't write in this stupid thing. I guess now I'll have to do that anyway.
Apparently, it is supposed to help me, somehow. I guess I'll just start with the basics even though it is stupid since I will be the only one reading this.
My name is Lyndis Flash and when writing this I am a 26-year-old girl, no friends and still single.
This should be enough information for now, Guess I'll drabble in here if I feel like it.
Day 9:
Ugh, it is 5 AM in the morning as I write this but I just can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes with the intention of falling asleep I just wake up after 10 minutes of falling into this half-sleep state.
My body feels tired and my head is spinning but I can't fall asleep for some reason. And if I do I just wake up with cold sweat.
Tonight I think I will just try watching the stars until I fall asleep, maybe that will help me.
Maybe I should ask my therapist, but on the other hand, I don't want more labels attached to my name. Keeping my head down is already a struggle, no need to add fuel to the fire.
Day 10:
Funny thought, I would rather spend 6 hours scouring the internet on how to fall asleep then talk to my therapist about it. Makes you wonder.
Also, the stars were lovely but it was too cold outside. I would use the telescope but the view from my apartment is just too bad.
Day 15:
Random question, why does the League even have to psychologically evaluate people? It is a waste of time and money. Maybe it is to prevent someone who is a complete idiot from working with technology that can destroy a whole region. Still, even though that sounds like a solid reason, why did they pick me? I am quite certain that I am not homicidal and my research is not even that special. Regardless, now I am obliged to visit my therapist every week for an evaluation.
That's time I could be spending on furthering my studies.
Working for the League is just frustrating sometimes, all the secrecy and protocols but it's the only way I'll ever get the chance to work for someone of importance like Oak.
Day 16:
I had that dream again. The memories of the dream fade away as the day goes on but I know I had this dream multiple times before. Maybe I should have someone take a look at it but I heard the process involves Gengar which… well I wouldn't trust a Pokémon inside my head.
Instead of spending the morning trying to fall asleep, I just went out to the park. It's very cold outside but I managed to see some constellations this morning. The Knight was visible this morning which, according to some pseudo science, means that a change will come in your life.
Day 17:
Okay, I decided to write down the dream the moment I woke up so I don't forget it later.
So in the dream, I am back at my childhood home. I am sitting at the table and drawing Shady with crayons. Shady herself is sleeping in the corner of the room with a few half-eaten berries lying next to her while my parents are arguing on the couch. Just as I am done with the drawing, the lights inside the house go out. I look outside the window and see the sky darken all of the sudden. A huge wave forms outside of the city and crashes towards the shore, maybe twice the size of a skyscraper. It storms towards our house, I try to turn around and to warn everyone but when I look again everyone is gone. My Umbreon is gone, my parents are gone. The sound of thunder ripping through the air fills the room and I look outside. Behind the wave I can see the mythical Lugia flying above the ocean, its eyes glowing.
I don't understand why I would dream about this. It can't be a forgotten memory because I was asleep when it happened. Maybe I should go outside and take a walk today, might as well enjoy the weather and the city while everyone is still asleep.
Day 20:
So I keep coming back to this notebook, not sure why but writing in it does help me feel a bit calmer, it also does make me feel a bit childish but hey, my therapist commands me.
Though this notebook is still stupid, yes I am talking about you.
Day 21:
Reading back I think I know why I keep writing in this stupid notebook but it is not like I have anyone else to talk with. My colleagues have avoided me ever since I started working here.
I had hoped that coming to Sinnoh would have been a fresh start but nope, the internet is a thing and the rumors keep following me and once someone forms an opinion you are stuck with it, no matter what you do.
Besides my supervisor, no one ever talks to me at the center unless it is absolutely necessary. And I swear I can see disgust in their eyes every time they walk past me in the dinner area. Like everything is my fault.
Just great.
My therapist advised me to go out and have some fun, I tried to do so but the stories of going to a bar and being picked up by a handsome guy are not true at all. I just sat there and got drunk until the bar closed.
Even had two guys who were asking for a Pokémon battle. I first thought they were flirting with me but they actually wanted a Pokémon battle with me. They thought I was writing down strategies in my notebook instead of research, They were quite disappointed when I revealed I did not have a Pokémon.
When the bar closed I just spent the evening on a bench while gazing at the stars until I felt tired enough to go home and cry.
Day 24:
So I tried drinking multiple brands of tea to help me sleep but they don't work at all. I just wasted a lot of money.
Meditation ain't working for me either. I feel calm for about 30 seconds and then my toes start to itch.
The only thing that seems to work is staying up long enough so my body will tire itself out. Which happens around 4 in the morning which leaves me with 3 hours of sleep.
Day 26:
Alcohol does help, as long as I drink enough I won't wake up once during the night. The only downside is the massive headache in the morning but atleast I get some rest.
Not making much progress in my study because of all the procedures I have to follow, now I just spent most of my time crunching numbers and digging through old archives and files until the League finally approves my request.
My boss actually had to ask what I was actually looking for with my research. I swear, I need hand puppets or something to explain it to that manchild.
Day 32:
Finally got access to the files I requested. I know I haven't been writing here a lot lately but honestly, there was not much to write about. Quite a boring week with me waiting for League approval. It sucks to wake up with a headache every morning but hey, it beats not sleeping at all.
Today I actually did receive it and they sent the files I requested which was about time. Though when I actually skimmed through them I discovered that they were not nearly what I was hoping for. Most of the research the League did is incomplete, shit quality and outdated but there was some useful stuff in there.
I do wonder why they would go to such lengths to keep it a secret. It is not like the information is that special or dangerous.
Day 36:
My therapist brought an Emolga to the session this time. She asked me to take care of it even though she knows damn well I don't do well with Pokémon. When I reluctantly tried to pet it the little shit actually gave me an electric shock.
I told her to find someone else and left the room.
Day 37:
Okay, I know it is not healthy to drink this much but I really need every single hour of sleep while I can, especially now since my entire career depends on this case. If I fail now it might take years before I'll get another shot at it.
When I am done with this project I'll stop drinking, and no, that is not an excuse. I actually need it to show up at work without looking like a wreck.
To make it even better, I'm on my period right now, so I've been feeling awful for the past few days for multiple reasons. Just my luck.
Day 40:
Question: It's a well-known fact that Pokémon have a lot more Aura than humans but what about people with psychic powers? How is their Aura level? Similar to a Pokémon or higher? Maybe it's high Aura levels that allow a person to use Psychic abilities. Same for other people with weird abilities like Aura guardians for example.
Why has no one bothered to question that?
If their Aura really is higher than the average person then this news could be huge. People could be tested to see if they have Psychic or other supernatural abilities. Then they could be provided with the help they need. And a lot of collateral damage would be prevented from people discovering their “gifts”.
Although, while I am writing this sentence I just realized how hard it would be to actually verify this theory. Finding enough people with anomalous abilities that are willing to help would be a struggle but then you also have to add a control group.
Besides that there is also the question, if they have higher Aura levels, is that because of their abilities or did they get the abilities because of the Aura? Which comes first?
Just a random thought.
Day 50:
Feel good today, so good that I even picked up this notebook to write again. I should actually write in this on a daily basis but work takes up all my time lately.
Making some real progress now that I finally went through all the data.
The weather has been awful the past few days, a lot of rain and storms. Times like these make me feel good about not being a traveling Pokémon trainer. While I am sitting inside with a cup of hot tea, they struggle against the forces of nature. The bus stop is right outside my apartment which is a small blessing.
I am even growing numb to the headaches! And I know that booze is not the solution to my problem but it is working damn well.
Day 52:
I woke up today on my desk and got caught by my supervisor who usually opens the building in the morning. He told me to go home and get some rest. Of course I refused, I was so close with my study but that asshole sent me home anyway. I was about to take my research with me but he told me to leave my work and take a day off.
So here I am, bored and not knowing what to do. The bottle of wine is looking at me from the kitchen and I am not sure I can resist the temptation.
Day 53:
It is all over the news. Groudon stirred in his sleep and caused a volcano eruption in Hoenn. The damage done by this Legendary Pokémon is relatively small with only nearby cities being affected which is a huge blessing.
He was found deep below Mt. Pyre and a group of lunatics tried to wake up the beast, thinking it was their savior. As if that wasn't bad enough, two fault lines connect underneath Groudon's resting place. If he had stirred twice he would have destroyed 85% of Hoenn.
A trainer who happened to be in the area luckily stopped the beast from waking up completely but to realize we were this close to annihilation. It terrifies me.
What is even more absurd is that a bunch of weirdos found the Legendary before the League could by only using a bunch of ancient artifacts and riddles.
The League claims it is all under control but a terrifying thought keeps looping through my mind while I keep watching the news.
How many more of those Legendaries are out there?
Day 57:
I called in sick today… again. The dream I've had for the past few months has changed. No longer am I in my childhood home, instead I am falling down a volcano. The heat of the magma on the bottom, I swear it felt so real. As I am falling the magma underneath me boils and begins to rise, revealing a huge creature that slowly rises from the lake.
When I woke up, I was bathing in sweat. I immediately checked the news to see if there was an update on the situation but it seemed the world had already moved on. "It was mostly handled" by the Hoenn League and nobody seems to care about it anymore.
The question is, why does it bother me?
I don't understand, there is nothing to be done about it and the situation is over, every rational part of my mind agrees but the moment I sit still or try to sleep my thoughts drift back to that monster hiding underneath the earth's crust.
I called my therapist this morning, expecting her to use that disappointed voice of hers but surprisingly she was very understanding. She did use that condescending tone when she said, "with your condition" but that could also just be me. On the flipside, she did advise me to focus on my work to keep the matter off my mind which might be the most useful advice she has given me so far.
My research is important, now more than ever.
Day 58:
I feel a little bit better today. I am still terrified by the knowledge that my life could be ended at a moment's notice but with the right amount of booze and work I can push it out of my mind.
The sky outside still looks gray, like it is about to rain for a long time.
Day 64:
I am so close with my research. I finished up all the drafts and testing models, now I only have to wait for the Aura print, if that gives me a negative result then I will know for certain my theories are correct. I do not dare to think I am right, scared that it might influence the outcome of the test but I truly do hope I am.
If everything works out, this will change the way we see the world.
Day 65:
My hands are shaking. I can not believe this, even as I am writing this down it still feels like I am in a fever dream but the results do not lie.
I used multiple methods to verify it, to prove myself wrong but my theory still stands. Legendary Pokémon do not have Aura. Instead, they have some sort of variation of it, a stronger version that dispels normal Aura.
I am almost done with finishing up my scientific journal and plan to send them to the League this evening. I haven't been this excited since, well... ever.
I think I'll treat myself to a deluxe cupcake today.
Day 66:
The response came quicker than I thought. This morning the League sent a response in which they want me to explain my findings in person.
I look like a mess. How on earth am I going to attend a scientific symposium in which all the attention is on me? I am absolutely not a public speaker and I have almost no time to prepare something.
I called my therapist but her advice was mainly 'you got it girl' which was not useful at all.
I really hope this works out fine.
Now if you excuse me dear diary, I have a plan to catch.
Day 67:
I feel like dying right now. Just jump over the edge and don't look back.
How on earth did I manage to fuck things up so hard? I mean, I had the entire script written on the plane but the moment I stepped onto the stage I could no longer understand my own handwriting. I even stuttered for the first few seconds as I saw the entire room fill up with people who had their eyes on me.
However, I did manage to pull through, using the bullet points behind me as guidance.
When people started asking questions I actually felt like I had the situation under control.
I talked about how this new revelation could affect our current technology, how we could develop more accurate satellites and track down unknown Legendary Pokémon before other dangerous groups could and secure them.
Everything was under control until one person came with a question I didn't want to answer.
"If we can gain control of this 'new' Aura and use it to track down Legendary Pokémon. How can you be sure this technology doesn't fall in the wrong hands?"
My answer was short. "We can't."
The tension in the room exploded.
Day 68:
Today the letter came in.
It was a long letter with a lot of official terms and expensive words but it all boiled down to a "cease and desist"
Fuck, I can't actually believe it, they funded this research and now they want me to erase it. Pretend it does not exist and wipe it under the rug. Why?
Because it's too dangerous! Because nefarious groups might use this technology to find Legendary Pokémon and harm them, because they rather have no one knowing what Legendary Pokémon are than everyone knowing it.
This is just top-level bullshit.
Damnit, I don't want to burn all my work but the League made their point very clear.
Either stop or we will force you to stop.
Ugh, why do things always end up this way?
Day 69:
Fuck.
Day 70:
I didn't go to work today. I wouldn't be able to ignore their looks, their faces and their rumors. I just want to sleep so that's what I am going to do.
My therapist keeps calling me but I just muted her, I really don't feel like talking to anyone.
Day 72:
Got a weird email today. The person who had sent it was actually someone I had seen during my symposium. I didn't pay him much mind that day but he was the sender of that email. I think his name was Redburn or something.
The email in itself was an enigma as well. I nearly deleted it before opening it but boredom and a drunken mind made me open it instead.
The contents were straight forward. He introduced himself as a 'representative of a private research facility' and said he was very interested in my research.
I of course first thought this was a joke, some kind of mock mail one of my colleagues sent but then he started talking about logistics and requirements. The kind of things my co-workers can't even properly spell.
The point is, this research facility is as illegal as it gets and to join I have to cut off all contact with the outside world to maintain secrecy which is not a problem for me at all.
Doing so would allow me to work on my research and more, unrestrained by laws and ethics. The point is- why does he care about my work so much? I feel like there is more behind this.
I should inform the League.
I really should.
But a part of me feels like they don't deserve it. I know it's wrong to think that way but the thought doesn't leave my mind.
For now I just keep the email inside my inbox. I truly don't know what to do with this.
Day 73:
The stars are cold and distant tonight. Uncaring about the world in a beautiful way. They're not even shining anymore. Just specks of colored dust on the sky.
Day 74:
I just feel tired today, I kind of don't want to deal with all this shit but the League is practically forcing me. I tried to reach out, to find another way but they refuse to respond to any of my messages.
My supervisor doesn't care and threatens to fire me if I don't comply.
I just want to do my job, carry on with my life but I can't burn away all my work. At this point it is practically my child.
Today I am packing my stuff and following the instructions sent to me by Redburn. Maybe I am making a rash decision, either out of desperation or adrenaline but I just want a new start. No old baggage and do some actual science.
I have no idea where I am going but I do know that this place will be isolated. I can't take too many of my belongings but I guess I will take this diary with me.
I don't even know why I am taking this notebook with me but going without it feels wrong.
Day 80:
Alcohol is not allowed down here. I don't feel like writing at all, despite so much happening. I think I might relapse.
Day 95:
So, while I am now officially a criminal there are two things I regret. Not being able to drink and not seeing the stars at night.
Day 90:
Not much time to write today. My life has been busy lately and I don't think I am supposed to leave written evidence of what is going down here but it is my diary, no one knows I have one and if it ever gets discovered then the secret's out anyway.
It is actually almost surreal, how I became part of this conspiracy. Part of a mad group looking for a way to capture a Legendary Pokémon. Although calling them mad would make me the blackest kettle.
The A2 facility is so big, I still haven't even explored the entire floor and there are two more to go! Although I am not allowed to go everywhere without permission. They even have guards which originally I thought was fucking crazy but makes a bit more sense now I know what kind of monsters they keep down here.
Most of what I know are rumors but if even a small percentage is true then I should be glad we have those guards.
Regarding my research, I have actually managed to make hardware compatible with detecting this special Aura Legendary class Pokémon. It's a bit chunky still but it is more than I could have ever done under the League's watch. The equipment they have down here is top-notch which made me question who pays for all of this.
I asked the person in charge, Charles Redburn, and he told me that a lot of different groups have a lot of interest in the work done down here. I asked who those groups were but he told me that somethings better remain a secret.
This does make me worry. I know that we merely want to capture a Legendary to prevent an S level event but the people who are pumping money into this. What are their goals?
Day 100:
Damn, there's so much going on down here that I didn't know. For example, we perform experiments on Pokémon.
I haven't seen it myself but I heard the people on the hallway talk, they, of course, refuse to talk with me about their work and the files on the experiments are rather scarce. Not sure why they would bother with more secrecy but I did get my hands on some files anyway. And the Pokémon down here, well they are a whole new level.
Yes, I realize experimenting on Pokémon sounds messed up but honestly it is not that bad. They are taken care of a lot better than they would be in the wild and it is not much different from breeding them, just with a few extra steps and the things we learn from them is just mind-blowing and can revolutionize everything we know. Although, sadly most focus is on finding a 'strong' Pokémon rather than finding out why they are stronger but it isn't my department so I can't really be vocal about it.
It does make me wonder though, where do they get the Pokémon from?
Day 102:
So apparently this entire place was an abandoned salt mine. Not sure what to do with this information.
Day 109:
The nightmares, they haven't gotten any better. The dreams became an intangible mess of memories and feelings that I can not begin to describe. I just know that I wake up bathing in sweat at 4 in the morning.
No one down here really cares how I look, which is a blessing in disguise. As long as I keep getting results I can just sleep in if I need to and take regular breaks whenever I feel like it. Of course, I can't go to the surface or drink some good stuff but this place has left me with a lot more free time. I even picked up a few books, although I can not seem to focus on them anymore.
Everytime I try my mind keeps asking questions I rather not want to answer.
Day 130:
The days move fast, yet so slow. Looking back, the days passed by in a blink of an eye. There is honestly not much to do here except working on science. I haven't managed to build any meaningful connections here but at least the people here treat me neutrally. And I can do here what I always wanted to do, my job.
Then why do I feel so hollow?
Day 139:
There are rumors in the hallways, people talk with each other in hushed tones about Project 107, also known as Truthful Mimikyu. Apparently a team down here took it upon themselves to find out what is hidden underneath the cloth.
Personally I think it is horribly childish to ponder about such trivial things but I can't help but to be curious myself.
Day 145:
Word is that they figured out what a Mimikyu truly is. I heard two guards on the hallway talk about it but when I asked what a Mimikyu really looks like they just shrugged and said they only knew the rumors the secret was discovered, not exactly what the secret was.
Day 146:
Okay so whatever was underneath the cloth of a Mimikyu, I won't get to know it. Everyone involved with the experiment has transferred and left without even saying a word. Curious with what they found I asked Redburn, the person in charge of this facility. I told him that the results might be significant for my own research which was a bold lie but it's not like there isn't a whole lot more to do down here.
He took the bait but sadly he could not provide me with any juicy details, all he could share with me was that whatever was underneath a Mimikyu's cloth had been designated a 'memetic hazard' and the findings have been erased for everyone's safety.
I swear they keep making up these terms to sound more interesting.
Day 150:
I woke up today with tears in my eyes. I have no idea why but I feel like I am missing something.
Day 159:
Today Redburn came to my lab with a request. Apparently he wants me to take on a side project and work with one of the Pokémon kept down here. Something called Project 125: Z.
I was surprised by this offer and asked him why on earth he would approach me, I mean I already have my own work. Sure I am not making as much progress with my work as I want but it does keep me busy enough.
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Redburn told me that 6 others had quit working with Project 125 and that the board was desperately looking for someone else that could get Project 125 to work.
Not sure why he thought I would be a good fit considering, well, my trouble with Pokémon in the past. I initially wanted to refuse but he handed me the files related to Project 125 anyway, telling me to take a look at it before making my decision.
Guess I'll have something to do during the sleepless hours tonight.
Day 160:
Project 125, nah let's just say Project Z. Much easier to write. I read through the files which made me raise an eyebrow multiple times. Apparently Project Z is a Zorua which has been genetically modified to contain parts of Mew's DNA, something with junk DNA scanning, pretty wild stuff already.
For some reason it resulted into a shape-shifting Zorua that can make solid illusions.
There is little known about Project Z because the Pokémon in question refuses to cooperate. The man in charge before me tried multiple, unethical methods to get it to work along but none of them worked.
Actually the last Project Manager left a note on the file saying "fuck this shit, I'm out."
This managed to make me smile, something I rarely do these days.
Day 162:
I decided to take Project Z as a side project. Although I am still scared of...well dealing with my fears hasn't gotten any better down here but at this point, I am just looking for something to break the slur of everyday life down here. Something that can keep me entertained, for a lack of better words.
I asked Redburn about the conditions I will work in and he told me that they couldn't be safer. I am not sure how honest he is with me but hey, what's the worst that can happen?
Redburn also told me that if I could prove my worth with Project Z he could give me some extra privileges.
The real question is; what makes Project Z so hard to deal with?
Day 170:
Today I saw Project Z for the first time. They gave me a keycard to its containment cell and I am officially registered as the one responsible for Project Z.
The Pokémon in question was kept inside a rather small cell with reinforced glass walls on all sides. This was the first Pokémon I had seen in months so I was a bit nervous.
I was expecting to see a big monster that would kill me the instant I laid my eyes on it but instead I was met with a small Zorua staring at me from the other side of the glass.
'What's so scary about her?' I wondered. That was until she opened her jaws and started to speak with a raspy female voice, a human voice.
"Oh you must be the new intern," A smirk was visible on the Zorua's face, "I would like a coffee please, no sugar. Now please, hush-hush."
I could only stare at the Pokémon who was grinning at me through the glass.
Day 171:
Okay, it is official. Project Z is insane. She has not said a single word.
Day 172:
I must be patient, today I think I will just try to talk with Project Z. Harming or threatening her will not work, those things have already been tried so I must try to be different.
So, patience it is, if I just try to outlast that damn Zorua I bet I can get some results.
Day 180:
I still have made no progress with Project Z. She has refused to talk with me ever since the first day and only grins at me through the glass whenever I enter the room. No matter what I do, she just stares back at me with a challenging grin. Redburn provided me with some options to get her to talk, such as electric shocks and simulated starvation but I like to think I haven't sunken that deep.
Still, now I finally understand why the guys before me quit.
My sleeping schedule is getting worse as well. I don't know if these two are related.
Day 181:
Every time I leave the room Project Z just smiles at me and I know that the damn Pokémon is smart enough to realize the significance of her silence.
Day 190:
I can't stop thinking about Project Z. I am not afraid of her like I would be with a regular Pokémon, I am just frustrated. Why does she treat me like a nuisance? Like everyone else in my life, she is simply toying with me and I hate it. I came so close to pressing the button this morning. It would deliver a painful shock, the thought of doing that actually felt so good it scared me.
While my hands were shaking Project Z was just grinning at me and although she hasn't spoken yet, I know she was challenging me to push the button.
Day 191:
This can not continue. I need to figure her out, it is just like a puzzle.
Day 192:
Pain doesn't work, previous tapes have shown her in various life or death situations yet after being brought back to health she just resumes her behavior. How do I get Project Z to take me seriously?
My other projects are suffering from this as well. I was told to read through a file about space radiation but my mind kept thinking of that damned Zorua.
Day 193:
Today while I was eating lunch alone in the dinner area I got an idea. An idea so crazy it made me wonder if I had finally lost it.
The point is, I am fed up with not being taken seriously. Just being pushed around like I am part of the furniture. And at this point in my life I am pretty much sure I can not sink any deeper.
Wish me luck dear diary.
Day 194:
This morning I went to Project Z's cell where, as usual, she was grinning at me like she was looking at a big joke. This time I didn't waste hours asking pointless questions.
Instead I simply locked the door behind me and opened the door to Project Z's cell.
The confusion and shock on Zorua's face were honestly enough to make me scream from excitement. However, I didn't show it. Instead I moved in closer to Project Z who was still too shocked to react.
I sat down in front of her and put down the mug of coffee I had brought along on the ground.
Zorua began blinking profusely, the grin wiped off her face. She actually backed off, as if she was afraid of me. Oh, that moment I wanted to laugh like some evil scientist.
However, I managed to maintain my calmness and just sat there, looking my demon straight into her eyes.
After a long minute, she had finally managed to understand the situation. The Zorua sat down in front of me and looked at the cup of coffee I brought along.
"No sugar," I said.
She eyed it suspiciously, probably suspecting it to be poisoned but it wasn't. Eventually, she reached out to the cup but before she could I lifted it from the ground and began sipping from the coffee.
It actually tasted awful, I don't really get what people see in coffee.
I gave Zorua a pitiful look, "If you want your own, you actually have to ask for it."
A long silence followed and the adrenaline began fading away. I actually realized how crazy it was. Project Z could kill me without even moving a muscle. There were a thousand reasons why this was insane but at the same time, it felt so good!
Just seeing the confusion on Zorua's face was worth it.
The Zorua looked me back in the eyes and for a moment I thought those would be the last thing I'd see. However she didn't kill me, instead she just smiled at me. It wasn't the same smile as before, it was somehow more genuine which I know, sounds crazy but it truly was a genuine smile.
"Fair enough human," Project Z spoke with a low voice, "I guess I can grace you with my lovely voice."
"Well, so you can talk." I said dryly as if I wasn't having a mental breakdown last week. "My name is Lyndis Flash, I am your new Project Manager. I hope you will cooperate with me?"
"Ugh fine," Project Z sighed reluctantly, though the same smile was on her face. "Guess this game was growing boring after all."
She fixed her eyes back on me, "Next time, bring me tea."
That day I left the cell with a grin on my face.
Day 195:
Oh god, I can't believe I've actually done that. I must be crazy! I was talking to a Pokémon that had all the reasons and powers to kill me. Oh what has my life come to.
Day 196:
I brought tea this morning and entered Project Z's cell again where she was waiting for me, this time without that eerie grin.
I put down the tea and started talking, asking questions and trying to understand the little Pokémon. I didn't start with the big things, instead I just took some measurements so I could build a frame of reference. Something the people before me didn't even manage to do.
Meanwhile I was making notes, not only about her physical state but also about Project Z's psyche which was, well, a mess.
According to the files Project Z has never been in contact with other Pokémon and only knows the humans down here, maybe that's related to her mastery of the human speech. Project Z asked me multiple questions, almost all of them are nonsensical in nature, as if she doesn't really care about the actual answers but just tries to start a conversation.
For example, she asked about the weather outside. And my opinion on the color blue. I first thought she was just messing with me but now I start to doubt that.
She insulted me a few times but none of them hit me really hard. There was one interesting part of our conversation worth writing down though, it went something like this.
"So, you mind if I call you Project Z?" I had asked, "Project 106 is quite mouthful."
Project Z answered with a smile. "Nope, do you mind if I call you Lyn, Lyndis is quite a mouthful."
"Why Lyn?" I replied.
The smile on Project Z's face grew darker. "Maybe because I think it sounds cute, or maybe calling you by another name will give me leverage."
"Which of the two is it?" I asked
The Zorua shrugged innocently, "Does it even matter?"
I'm not sure what to make of that. I guess she is right, the answer really doesn't matter. It won't affect my work or anything. Speaking of work, I didn't get to see her transform. I asked if she could do that but she refused. Saying something along the lines of, "A true magician never reveals her cards."
Personally I think she doesn't trust me enough to show it, maybe she feels shy about it, or maybe it is something entirely else. Whatever the reason was, I didn't press on. I didn't want to throw away all the progress I made.
Day 197:
I asked Project Z why she spent the first three weeks staring at me. Her reply was simple.
Her explanation was very...well shockingly sad.
Apparently the people before me, well they were not nice people. According to Project Z, smiling at them was the only power she had over them. So she did just that.
It actually makes me feel like I am the bad guy here.
Day 200:
My nights are slowly getting better. I don't wake up covered in sweat anymore but I still have trouble with getting enough hours of sleep.
I did manage to advance my research regarding this new Aura which has been dubbed Black Aura. Turns out, Black Aura is undetectable to almost every conventional technology, not only that but it is highly resistant to Pokémon effects as well, up to 98%. No wonder why most precogs fail at seeing Legendaries, their powers can not simply grasp a Legendary.
I made some edits to Project Z's files regarding her mental state and her anti-social behavior but it got scrapped. Not sure who's in charge of reviewing my work but Redburn shared me in an email that I should refrain from adding "unnecessary information"
Which is ridiculous! Project Z's psyche is a key component of the puzzle. It's already a known fact that emotional states can influence a Pokémon's growth and abilities. Besides that, she is clearly smarter than most Pokémon, not quite a Hyper-Intelligence but smart enough to actually be taken more seriously.
Day 201:
I spend most mornings with Project Z, I usually bring along breakfast for the both of us. Apparently Project Z's stomach can digest human food of all kinds, not sure why or how but it's at least one discovery I made.
For now I am still trying to figure out what makes her tick and hey, when she isn't trying to be as offensive as possible she is quite good company. Or maybe I am just starving for attention. Makes you think.
Day 205:
I got an email from Redburn, he was asking me if I could speed up the studies I am performing on Project Z which, to be honest, have been a bit lacking but only because I am studying what Project Z looks like and acts like in her normal state. Because there is only one we can not really have a control group, thus I have to create detailed reports so I can compare her future state with her previous state once we start actually making some progress.
Day 207:
Today I asked Project Z why she refused to transform. Her answer was short. "Because that's what they want."
"Who are they?"
"The people who created me," she replied, "The ones you work for, they want to use my powers."
"They wouldn't," I tried to defend. "We just try to understand how Pokémon function, what makes them special, how their powers interact with the world and how this can help us prevent the next S level threat from happening."
Project Z scoffed, "You're smarter than that, Lyn."
I actually didn't spend too much time with Zorua after that conversation. The words, I can't stop thinking about them. Maybe I should focus a bit on my other projects today.
Day 209:
I think I mapped out most of the information regarding this Black Aura. I still don't understand how it is generated or why it works the way it does but I think I figured out most of the properties it has.
The most significant property is maybe the fact that Black Aura ignores the type match up with a rough 89%. This goes only for absorbing damage and is stacked above the additional resistance. However this statistics is brought down to a meek 10% when faced with a second Black Aura.
This does explain where the saying: 'Only a Legendary can beat a Legendary' comes from.
Of course I do realize that my sample group is rather small but I am convinced this trait is shared amongst all Legendary class Pokémon.
Day 210:
"So, you must be getting bored in this empty cell." I told Project Z.
She shook her head, "Nah, I just love counting the ceiling tiles, I can do it all day."
It was rather hard to tell if she was sarcastic or not. I tried to play it safely. "And that doesn't bother you?"
"Oh it does," she nodded. "Some of the tiles are cut off by the ceiling and I am not sure if I should count them as complete tiles or not."
I smiled. "Okay, phew, I was worried you were getting agitated and I might need to change something but it is good to know you got it all figured out."
"Noooo!" Project Z's eyes widened. "I am bored out of my mind!"
And she took the bait.
"Well, I could maybe arrange something but you have to give me something in return." I smiled. "After all, I need results. So why don't you help me and I'll help you."
Project Z narrowed her eyes, "What do you suggest?"
"Your illusion powers," I replied while trying to keep myself from smiling. "My boss wants to know more about them and he keeps bugging me about it."
Project Z avoided my eyes as she answered. "I'll think about it."
Day 212:
This day Project Z finally agreed to help, in exchange she wanted better accommodations. I had already planned on arranging that but it's good to have her think it was a conscious choice on her part. That will make it easier to cooperate after all.
"Fine, what do you want to see?"
"Well you can create illusions right?" I asked while I was placing down all my equipment inside the cell.
"Pffftt," Zorua laughed eerily. "I am much more than an illusion."
"Well, show me," I answered, starting to feel annoyed by Project Z. "What makes you special?"
"Name a Pokémon."
"Sneasel." I said without thinking. Then before I could retract my suggestions the room was filled with a sudden glow.
Then, the Zorua was replaced by a Sneasel.
I stared and I hate to admit it but at that moment my mind shut off. On autopilot, I slowly approached the Sneasel, sticking out my hand towards their ears to scratch them like I used to.
"Come on, touch them." I heard Project Z's voice. It took me a second to realize I was conducting an experiment and not some childhood nostalgia.
I swallowed the bitter feeling and reached out towards the lengthy ear. Expecting the illusion to dissipate but my hands touched soft fur instead.
Day 213:
Project Z doesn't create illusions. It looks like she is actually the real deal. How? HOW?!
I haven't gone back to her cell yet, even though I should and hold up my end of the bargain. I am not sure what shook me more, the fact that a Zorua can transform or that I've seen a Sneasel again.
My dreams certainly didn't get any better.
Day 215:
"So, you have some emotional attachment to this form?" Sneasel asked.
"Nothing you need to know." I replied flatly while trying to measure her body temperature.
"Oh, spicy!" Project Z cheered, "So, was it your first Pokémon? Or did you ever get attacked by one?"
"I would rather not want to answer that question," I said again. "Also, I do realize you can take any form you want. Stop bullying me and change into something that is not a Sneasel."
"Killjoy," Project Z muttered as she changed into a Wigglytuff.
Day 217:
I just dropped off a few books inside Project Z's cell for her to read. When Project Z laughed and told me she was illiterate. She kept laughing for 4 minutes straight. To annoy her back I decided to spend the entire day teaching how to read.
I actually fell asleep while I was teaching her. Luckily she only thought it was funny but fuck was I embarrassed. Hope my colleagues don't find out or they will definitely declare me insane.
Day 218:
I didn't have any nightmares that night. I wonder if the events of yesterday have something to do with it. I hope not.
Day 220:
She atleast can not transform into a form that's bigger than the room she is in. That does explain why she hasn't escaped yet.
I asked her why she hadn't tried to escape. I am not sure if her answer was truthful, seeing how Project Z tells lies on a regular basis but I can't help but to feel sad about it.
We both got to this place for different reasons but we both stay for the same.
"There's nothing waiting for me outside."
Day 224:
Ever tried studying a shape shifting creature? It's hard. Just imagine trying to figure out a puzzle that changes its outline every few minutes.
Day 227:
I asked Project Z something I had been wondering about for a long time.
"Do you dream?"
To my surprise Project Z gave me a sad nod. "Just this night I had a nightmare."
I had a nightmare as well. Nothing too special but it was interesting to see what a creature such as Project Z would dream about, considering her very limited experience with the world.
"What was your nightmare about?" I asked. I already had my pen ready. Truly, it feels like Project Z could be the bridge we needed to figure out the essential difference between Pokémon and mankind.
"I was walking outside my cell," Project Z spoke. "One of the Pokémon kept down here broke out of its containment and was on a murder spree. There was blood on the walls and corpses littered the floor."
"That sounds horrible."
"You haven't even heard the worst part of it."
"What is the worst part?" I asked.
"All those corpses and I wasn't even hungry!" A smile spread out on her face and she burst out cackling.
I couldn't help it. I laughed with her.
Day 235:
I brought Project Z, a plush Pikachu today. I wonder why we even have one of these down here.
Day 249:
I've been getting amazing results with Project Z. Not only does she confirm the long running theory that one's Aura is tied to their special abilities. She is also a great source of information regarding Pokémon biology.
I actually managed to build up quite the file regarding Project Z and her abilities. I am still unsure how she actually does all her tricks but I think I understand most of the rules regarding her abilities. I hope Redburn will be pleased with the results… and even if he's not, I had a blast making it.
Day 251:
While I was eating lunch in the dinner area a man sat down opposite of me. This is highly unusual because I've been eating alone since I got here.
"So, why does a girl like you sit alone?" He had asked with what I assumed must have been a charming smile but honestly it left me cold.
"Eating and looking over my notes, what do you want?" As I said that I came to the realization that I haven't had a conversion with another human for a long time.
I shook my head, trying to get my gears to work. "Sorry, I've been talking to Project Z for a long time, excuse my bad habits."
He smiled as he took a bite from his potato. "No problem. Your name is Lyndis right?"
I nodded. "Yours is?"
"Soren." He gave me a confident grin. "So you're the one who works with the talking Zorua."
"Yes, what of it?" I raised my eyebrow. I remember wondering if he was here to scrutinize my close relation with Project Z. If he was then he could piss off. I had gained more results with her than anyone else.
"Relax." Soren pushed his hands up in mock surrender. "I was just wondering if you could help me."
"Help?"
"With Project 96." He said.
"96? Isn't that Fate Cleaver?"
It was a bit messy to remember which was which, considering they all had cryptic names and numbers.
Soren shook his head. "No, that's 86, I am talking about the Eternal Queen."
"Huh?"
"You don't know about her?" He frowned. "I thought everyone knew by now."
I frowned, knowing I was out of the loop. "What's to know?"
"Nothing important," he shrugged, "Point is, I need a translator and since Project Z can talk to both humans and Pokémon."
It took me a while to realize what he was getting at. "You want to borrow Project Z?"
"If you could."
"No," I said, probably more harshly than I intended because Soren looked like I had gone crazy. I brushed my hair out of my face and took a deep breath. "Project Z gets agitated very easily by others. Letting her close to Project Eternal Queen might undo all the progress I made."
This was a horrible lie. The truth was, I didn't want to share her. I was the one who got her out of her shell. She was mine.
"I can help you," I quickly added, "But Project Z is off limits."
Day 252:
Since when did I consider a Pokémon mine? Am I truly going crazy down here? Have I forgotten my fears?
I just don't know anymore.
I can't deny it. I am starting to feel attached to Project Z, beyond just curiosity.
Day 253:
Soren gave me Project Z's files which were surprising to say the least. We sat together during dinner again, strategizing on how he could get his Froslass to work along. I told him how I got Project Z to work with me, he didn't believe it at first but when my expression didn't falter his eyes widened.
"Damn, you must be one heck of a scary person," he whispered.
It was nice to not sit alone.
Day 254:
So, during my session with Project Z I told her about Soren. Big mistake, I shouldn't have given that damn Zorua romance novels.
"It's okay Lyn, when a sleep-deprived woman and a man love each ot-"
I left her immediately, her cackling followed after me.
Day 255:
Redburn wants me to find out if and under which conditions Project Z would be able to copy a Legendary Pokémon he didn't seem to be interested in the other results I got.
Prick.
Day 256:
Today I asked Soren what Redburn's deal is. Wondering if maybe he heard any interesting rumors. According to him he lost his daughter to a power outage caused by Zapdos. The bird caused an EMP while fighting Articuno.
It sounds like just a rumor to be but if it's the truth then it does explain his obsession with Legendary Pokémon and taking them down.
Day 270:
It is my birthday. Somehow Soren figured out behind my back and got one of the staff to make a cake. It even had those little cute candles on it. We ate it together in the dinner area, he profusely apologized for not bringing a gift. Not realizing that being present was enough of a gift. It really does feel good to just chat with him. The interactions made me feel like a real human being for once.
It was past 9 in the evening and everyone else had left the dinner area. Soren suddenly cut off two more pieces of cake and handed me one.
"I'm stuffed," I smiled politely.
"Not for you," he winked. "But for your other friend, now go bring her piece."
My cheeks flustered as I turned around and headed towards Project Z's cell.
Day 272:
I did some digging. My last conversation regarding Soren made me think about Redburn. I left my old life behind to work for him but what do I really know about him?
I think I'll try looking into the logistics of the A2 facility.
Day 273:
Couldn't sleep this evening so I thought, 'why not write down what I found already in my diary. It might even serve as evidence at some point.’ Okay, who am I kidding, I just need something that can help me put my mind at ease during the late hours.
Anyway, A2 is not a private research facility. It is actually part of something refered to as Galactic which I previously thought was just a shallow umbrella company. Turns out, it's not. I thought the A2 was the head of Galactic's operation but I think that was a lie.
We are not in control. I am not in control, the strings just changed.
Still, with the League I knew at least what they wanted. Or I thought I did, I guess. Point is, I don't know who Redburn works for or what Galactic truly is.
What are the goals of Galactic?
Day 277:
Project Z cannot turn into a Legendary class Pokémon. Not even Mew. I don't know why she can't transform. Maybe she'll have to see one in order to know how to transform but I doubt that will work, considering the genetic code might literally be missing.
Anyway, it is what I told Redburn to stop him from bugging me.
Day 280:
"Project Red Chain." Soren sat down and put down a stack of papers on the table. "Look at this."
I made sure no one was peeking before gazing over his files. They described some sort of ancient ritual, something occult involving gemstones and lakes.
At first glance it looked like it was ripped straight out of a fantasy book except for the fact that the files went into deep detail, describing every part of the ritual and process like it was a scientific paper.
"It's a ritual to trap space and time."
"Where did you get it?"
"Redburn's personal server," Soren grinned.
"What!?" I hissed.
"Not important," he waved off, "Instead, look at the Project number."
"Project 372." I said, "How, the highest number we have is 125 and that is Project Z."
Soren's eyes darkened as he drew a red circle around a sentence.
Collaboration between XX5 and Final Destination
"There was never just one," I whispered.
As expected, I couldn't sleep that night.
Day 284:
Soren made the promise to look into the matter. Until then he still had his business with Project Eternal Queen. We conducted an alternative plan to start communicating with his Froslass.
Our new plan is actually almost the same as Soren's old plan but instead of using my Project Z we opted to use Project 103, an Exeggcute existing out of only one egg. Not sure why Redburn still kept this pitiful mismatched Pokémon but it had the Telepathy ability. I requested access to it and got it, it took a few bribes but I got access to it and the Exeggcute was already on the edge so it is not like anyone will miss it. Soren's face lit up as I told him of my plan. He had already given up and accepted that he wouldn't be able to find her secrets; Seeing his smile made it worth all the fuss.
Day 285:
I wonder how Soren's communication attempt went. I didn't see him this morning.
On the flip side, I made more discoveries with Project Z. For example, her digestive systems can theoretically erase things out of existence. If she eats something in one form and transforms into a much smaller form, all the food inside her stomach will become non-existent until she resumes a bigger form.
Not sure what to do with this information but Project Z thought it was hilarious.
Day 286:
I still haven't seen Soren. I am getting worried.
Day 287:
I knocked on his door for the first time, wondering if maybe he was just too busy to have lunch with me.
He didn't open the door. I am afraid something is wrong.
Day 290:
Soren got transferred.
That's how the story goes but I don't believe any of it. There was no reason for him to suddenly leave and even if there was, he would have said goodbye.
What's going on?
Day 291:
I forced my way into his room, hoping to find clues. Instead, I found all his belongings, everything was still there. If he had left he would surely pack some clothes right?
I tried seeing Project Eternal Queen, hoping she could shed some light on his disappearance but she is locked away and is no longer allowed to come into contact with anyone.
Did someone make him disappear?
No one appears to know it. They are lying, they must be.
Day 292:
I just miss the feeling of fresh air running through my wind. Never thought I'd say it but I really miss my shitty apartment. I atleast knew what was going on. Now, I feel trapped.
At least I still have Project Z.
Day 293:
Why am I crying right now?
Day 301:
I found Project Z this morning with burn marks on her fur. She was badly damaged and could barely stand.
Redburn was watching the Zorua from behind the glass. Holding the remote that activated all the security measures inside Project Z's cells.
I still find it hard to believe that I actually pulled the remote out of his hands but at that moment I didn't care.
"What are you doing?!" I cried out as I deactivated the remote.
"I am just trying something," Redburn answered absentmindedly. "I thought that maybe Project Z needed more motivation."
He pointed at various pictures he had taped to the glass. Pictures and photos of Legendary Pokémon, all with their image facing the cell.
"I got no results," he went on with a dead tone.
I exploded.
"Out!"
"Now calm-"
"Out!" I insisted as I balled my fist. "This is not science, this is straight up torture."
"Let me expl-"
"NOW!"
He left with an uncaring and slightly confused expression on his face.
When he was out of sight I entered Project Z's cell and for a moment emotion took over. I hugged her closely.
That was the first time I heard Project Z cry.
Day 310:
I don't think I want to be here anymore. I know I made a choice but I regret it. Project Z does help me forget my problems for a short time but reality catches up the moment I leave her cell.
Day 321:
I don't feel like writing anymore.
I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
Focusing on any of my tasks is hard. I just wanna lay down and close my eyes. Maybe see the stars again.
Day 329:
Project Eternal Queen escaped today but she was stopped by the guards. I could hear the gun fire from within Project Z's cell.
The Queen's escape is the most interesting thing to happen this week. I wish I could have seen it but I was more worried about Project Z's safety.
Day 345:
There is a big event coming up. I was told to pack my stuff and to get Project Z ready.
Redburn said it was time for me to meet the man behind the screens.
I feel like it might be a trap but I can't see any reason why he would want me dead. On the other hand, I still don't know where Soren went.
It is a change of scenery I guess. It will be the first time Project Z will get to the surface. Maybe that will get some excitement out of her.
Day 346:
More experiments, apparently. I am still packing my stuff. We are going to the surface to test something regarding Legendary Pokémon. Redburn wants Project Z to see a Legendary with her own eyes, he theorized that might unlock her shape shifting skills.
I don't think it will do anything. I just wonder how Redburn will be able to summon a Legendary. Even with my tracking devices it will be hard to find them, considering they move.
Day 348:
So Soren was right. There are more remote facilities. This expedition is not just for us, it is to perform multiple tests by other facilities as well. I can't deny that I am curious what the others are testing but I feel like it won't be good.
I wanted to know but Redburn said that their research was none of my business.
I think he is pissed. I don't know, he doesn't look like himself anymore but like a shallow ghost.
Sometimes I really wonder how I got into this mess. More importantly, how to get out of this mess.
We are leaving in a few hours
I still have so much to pack and decide what not to pack. I heard that we are going to Seawave City. A big city on the coast of Hoenn. Brings back quite the memories but I fear I won't have time for nostalgia, considering the people I am with.
I think I'll bring this notebook with me. Maybe it will bring me some luck.
Day 349:
Okay a quick update before we get started. I met the man behind all of this! Never would I have guessed that Cyrus, the billionaire philanthropist, is the founder of Galactic.
He didn't speak to me directly but I heard multiple rumors about what is going down today. Apparently the others think they may have found a way to attract a Legendary. The Escalation Theory.
They also brought along big containers filled with Pokéballs. I wonder what they are going to do with them.
Also, Cyrus' speech. I think I should add it here if I ever want to present this as evidence.
It began with a question, "What do you see in Legendary Pokémon?" Of course it was a rhetorical question.
"Everytime I think of the Legendaries flying through the sky or swimming in the ocean I feel disgusted. They represent everything I hate, suppression, a barrier we can not pass. A dead future." His eyes skidded across the room. "I believe in humanity's potential but when I see legendary Pokémon, I see our end. They are something we can never hope to achieve. A skill barrier, no matter how great we or our Pokémon are. They can never be like them. We are purely at their mercy."
He took a deep breath before continuing. "We call them Pokémon but they are not, it is simply our way of coping with beings we can not reason with, understand or ever hope to cross. We can only hope they do the right thing and hope that one day they won't turn on us."
He closed his eyes. "That's why I despise them, they represent the end of us."
I don't know if he's right but I know one thing. He is scared. I saw it in his eyes, he is afraid and people who are scared can be pushed to do horrible things.
I just hope Project Z will stay safe.
Day 350:
We are monsters.
Day 353:
I don't know what to write. I can't get the imagery out of my head. The bodies, the ruins and just the sheer magnitude of what we unleashed onto the city. Nothing can justify our goals.
It's just like all those years ago, when I lost everything to that tsunami. Except now, I am the one responsible.
I don't know, I don't know. I just don't know it anymore.
I know one thing. The A2 facility is not safe! It is not a safe haven, I can't believe how I fell for all their lies.
Free research?
Trying to make a new god?
We are monsters making more monsters.
Day 354:
I was so tempted to take a couple extra sleeping pills so I wouldn't wake up but in the end I couldn't put myself to do it.
I think I know why.
It is Project Z. She is still here.
Day 355:
I am gathering resources and evidence, trying to upload as much as I can onto a hard drive. This entire place is built like a maze but maybe if I just get lucky enough I can get out of her and expose the secrets of Galactic before it is too late.
Before I do that however there's still one thing I can't leave behind.
Day 356:
Can you believe it? I searched the damn entire day for a Pokéball but couldn't find a single one down here. I could try to use one of my own designs but they are unstable and meant to hold entirely different creatures.
Day 357:
I informed Project Z of my plan, she is in. I hope this will work. Honestly I wouldn't care if it didn't weren't it for the fact I have a young Zorua with me. I know I screwed up badly and I don't deserve a second chance. The things I have done and created, I regret.
The only thing I don't regret is meeting Project Z.
If there is a true god, I hope she does spare Zorua at least.
Day 358:
Today is the day.
I'll leave this diary inside here, in case I don't make it this will be my suicide note.
If you found this it means that our escape failed but you found your freedom at last. Maybe my contingency plans worked, maybe other factors caused you to find your freedom.
So, it is a bit weird to write a note but it isn't too dissimilar from writing another diary entry in the end, only it will be a future day.
I'm at a bit of a loss here. Never been good at this so I just keep it short so I don't screw it up like everything else and yes, that was a joke.
Project Z, thanks for everything you gave me and I am sorry for everything I couldn't give. There is only one thing I can give you right now and that is my advice.
Project Z, don't try to go through life alone like I did. Learn from my mistakes and find others you feel comfortable with. Life, ironically, is just too short.
-Lyn