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[Log in]

“Selling swords 1/3rd off”

“Leather armor only 20 silver”

Kif moved through the merchant stalls and entered a blacksmith’s shop within Dredmonte.  “What ye be wanting?” an undead dwarf asked him [Bweolm the stout Level 72] floated above it’s head.

“I need some shovels.  Also a mining pick, a 20 pound sledge hammer, and a 3 inch 4 foot iron rod.”  Kif responded.

“Hmm.” The undead frowned in thought.” I have all of that but the rod ready now.  How does 3 gold for the lot sound?”

“2 gold 50 silver and i pick it all up in half an hour.” Kif replied.

“Deal.  I’ll have it ready soon.”

Kif left the shop and went to the mage guild.

“I’d like to get another wand identified.” He said to the secretary.  She looked at him with a frown before pointing to the stairs to the second floor.  “The guild master is up the stairs second door on the left.”

    Kif headed up and knocked. “Come” Guild master Ames called.  Kif entered and marveled at the room.  Ames office was full of expensive  and enchanted equipment.  “Kif isn’t it?” Ames asked. “what can i help you with?”

“Two things, one. I fought Gunther and 2 of his friends in the sewers yesterday.  Am i going to have any problems from the guild?  also i want to get this wand identified.”  Kif said holding out one of the candle wands.

Ames took the wand and concentrated. “Another C rank wand.  this is a Volley wand, it shoots a 5 shot volley of fire element orbs at the target.  It would be worth about 16 silver.  It would be worth more but is a consumable as the wood is unable to contain the magic core within it.  As for Gunther, He has attacked an officer of the dark lord's army.  He currently has a kill on sight order for his head.  I have removed him from my guild's roster.  Does this answer all your questions?”

“Yes, Thank you.” Kif spoke.  “You can keep the wand in payment for the identification, i have more.”

Heading out Kif gathered his companions and marched towards Bile’s collapsed cave.  On the way the goblins killed a few low level animals and, per kifs instructions had their slimes finish them to gain abilities. Ebne and Ibne’s slimes gained resistant coating, increasing their physical defence greatly (for a slime).  Obne and Ibne’s slimes picked up caustic acid. They could excrete the acid on to the two goblins daggers & their sling marbles.  Arriving at the clearing in front of the collapsed cave, Kif first got to work with Mu digging.  His lair had gained a lot of levels recently but still couldn’t be placed completely in the open.  Kif and Mu dug a shallow cave while Borg and Barg drug over some stones to cover it’s opening.  Kif moved his lair into the hole then met his companions at Bile’s collapsed cave. Kif and his companions spent the next few hours digging and moving stones.  At noon he stopped and cooked them all some wolf meat sandwiches.  He had Barg test the food to make sure it wasn’t to high level.  With refilled stamina the goblins continued digging into the evening.

    Kif spent 3 days digging out the cavern and then on the 4th day his shovel struck something it couldn't break through.

(chink)

Kif frowned and then cleared out the area to get a better look at what he struck.  After digging around it he realized it was a single black dragon scale, 6 foot tall by 3 foot wide.  IT was bordered by more dragon scales.With a sinking feeling he cast Identify on it.

[Identify]

[Bile Level 500 Elite Boss Dragon

HP 3,000,000 / 500,000,000

MP 1506,000 / 200,000,000

Skills

(Your identify is to low to see skills)

“O shit.” He whispered.  Despite Biles current HP being under 1% of his max, it was still way more than Kif could hope to dish out, even with his axe.  Kif quickly exited the cave and called all his companions to help everyone pack up.

“We are getting the hell out before he notices us.” He cried.  Entering the hole his lair was in he quickly packed what he could into his chest then froze.  He could hear screams coming from outside the pid.  Kif picked up his shortsword and scrambled outside.  Above ground kif spotted Gunther and his two companions.  Mu was pinned to a boulder by several arrows through his chest.  Borg and Barg lay dead at Benito’s feet and as Kif was finishing his climb out  of the pit he watched Gunther slay all four of the bne siblings with a large wave of fire.

“We aren’t going to make the mistake of letting you ambush us this time bastard.” Gunther called as lightning started to gather between his hands.

“Die you Blurg” an arrow punched through the back of Gunthers throat and his spell failed on him.  Kif watched froze, as a group of 6 beastmen rushed the clearing and butchered the 3 demon players.  

“What we do with this one?” a wolf headed beastman asked.

“Bind him and take him with us.” the female Katian in charge responded.  “Everyone knows goblins are stupider than the other dark races.  He won’t be smart enough to lie to us.”

Kif was bound and drug off by the adventure group.  

{7 days until game release}

[Log in]

It was saturday, Kif now had the entire weekend to play.  He entered the game bound and gagged  in a bamboo cell/.  The beast adventurers had carried him south down the mountain, across a lightly wooded area and through some plains, then into a beast tribes village.  Now he sat, unarmed in a cell waiting to find out why they did not kill him along with the demons.  As he sat their thinking, the female Katian who had been in charge of the beastman party entered. the prison area.

“Goblin, you don’t know me.  I am Shasta of the Katian tribe and if you answer my questions we will let you go.  Your dragon failed and we already know what your plans are.  Tell me in your own words what the dark lord plans and I will see you have a chance to live.”  

    Kif looked at Shasta puzzled.  As a minion of evil there was no way they would let him out alive, moreover he knew nothing at all about the dark lord's plans.  He decided to create a plausible lie.  At the worst they would end up sending their NPC troupes to the wrong area.

{Elsewhere}

Hrolf the ork stood proud next to Warlord Krast.  Krast was one of the two ork warlords and was currently the leader of a 50000 strong orcish army.  With only one week left in the beta test, the ork players had all come together and created a plan to get one last shot at the council of light.  As a united bunch, they had pushed the ork tribes to put together this army under Krast.  The plan was to shatter the newly resurrected dwarfs home fortress town and open up a second invasion path into the lights area.  With the dwarfs gone the only 2 strong races of light left would be the humans and the elves as the beasts were still reeling from the dragon's attack.  In addition, the beast tribes were on the opposite side of the country from where the attack was.  Hrolf had used his past influence, and a decent amount of real world money, to get himself pushed into a position of command.  Now he only waited Krast’s orders.

“Move out.” Krast rumbled.

Turning, Hrolf shouted to his lieutenants, “ Move out, we have dwarves to kill.”  As one the 50,000 strong army headed out.  It would take them a day to reach the dwarven keep.

[Kif]

(If i get them to send soldiers far away to the dwarves, then escape should be easier since that will be less beasts here to watch me.) He thought. “We be building a big super unbeatable army to kill Dwarvses.” He responded to Shasta. “Kif is hungry, he wants meat.”

“I will get you some meat.” Shasta said happily,” But first i need more details.  Where, When.”  

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Dwarvses fortress and soon.  Tomorrow.” Kif said drooling.  Shasta pulled out a stead from her inventory and tossed it to the goblin.

“I will be back for more questions soon.” She declared and left to pass on the news.  

Kif waited a few minutes, then resurrected Mu and started eating the steak.  It should speed up his mana recovery and help keep his stamina up for what was necessary.

“Help me burn a hole in this bamboo and let's get out of here.”  After some work both goblins were out and Kif was topped off in aman again. “Time to get while the gettin is good.” He declared and both goblins slipped out of the building the cage was in and headed north through the forest.  A few minutes into the escape the goblins heard a cry of anger from the camp and broke into a run, “Let's split up.” Kif said and they split into two different directions.

[You companion Mu has died]

Kif immediately summoned Mu and again split up.  Hoping the pursuers would be distracted again.  After an hour of running through the oddly empty forest, Kif reached the open plains, covered in a tall grass.  He set off running and encountered a random monster.

[Plains rat level 20]

-8

-6

The rat dove at the goblin and latched onto his arm, chering.  Kif quickly started hitting it with his free fist.

-7

-5

and then changed tactics when he heard his pursuers chasing him.  He ordered oozy to dissolve the rat and grabbed it to keep it from escaping his slow slime pet.  Kif quickly slew the rat and, noting how close his pursuers were, started running a zigzag pattern through the plains, drawing the agro of as many of the rats as possible.  The pursuing beastmen soon caught up with Kif and he saw it was the assassin and archer who had been with Shasta’s party.  The rest of the adventurers were elsewhere.  Kif server and rushed at the archer, barely dodging an arrow he ran up to, and right past the archer before diving into the grass to hide from sight. Quickly Kif pulled out his alchemy bag and pulled a gob of the deceased black spimes ooze out of it

“Found you.” the assassin sang just as Kif hurled the ooze into his eyes from three feet away.  He quickly returned his pouch to his inventory and , ignoring the screams of pain and chittering of the rat horde behidhim, ran.  He also focused on ignoring the -2hp signs and the pain as his left hand continued to dissolve from the black slimes ooze.  Freedom was good.

    Three hours later Kif had finally crossed the plains and returned to his lair.  He promptly committed suicide by waking up an angry dragon but recovered his lost hand.  Bile angrily at the stupid goblin making noise outside his cave then went back to sleep.

Kif logged out to let the dragon get back to sleep.

Kif logged back in, a few hours later.  With Bile finally asleep he snuck out of hte hole his lair was hidden in and headed north.  He had no more great plans or ideas.  so he would spend some time researching alchemy and teaching his companions what handicrafts he knew.  “They will call me Kif the super inventor.” He told himself.

Shasta

Shasta sighted and stretched.  The Katian and Angelic leaders were currently arguing about what to do.  The orcish race had not done any attacks in several days.  So it was possible they were doing a concentrated push at the dwarves.  However sending reinforcements was risky.  The Katian forest was only a two days march from castle dredmonte, with the mountains small trails being the big barrier keeping armies from marching across it.  If you ran you could cross the area in a single day.  So close to the front lines, the questions were could they even spare any reinforcements for the dwarves.  The final problem was any help they sent would take 3 days to reach the dwarven home keep due to those forces having to cross both the humans and the elven land.  Getting tired of listening to the arguments Shasta spoke up, interrupting her tribe's elders. “We know where they are, and the Angelic city is here to defend our home.  we can spare the fighters.  I am leading my group to help the dwarves.  I am done with cowering in fear.  That is not the person i wish to be.”  

She quickly left the council and gathered her adventure group.  They had orcs to kill.

[Tuesday, 3 days until release]

[Log in]

Kif logged in and smiled. Currently he was inside the restaurant within Dredmonte.  His intimacy with the cooks had granted him access to the kitchen utensils and ingredients for practicing his alchemy.  He set up his work area and pulled out all the ingredients he had acquired through his travels.  The green slime and black slime liquids went into separate cooking bowls.  the ground volcanic ash was dropped into a measuring cup,  He took an icing dispenser and filled it with the flammable clay concoction he had used to craft wands.  He pulled out the small and medium green slime cores.  Finally Kif laid out some leather scraps that Goblin Mi had acquired.

“This sums up what i have currently.  I’m probably the poorest beta tester in the game.” He mused.

Arranging the cooking ingredients he had been allowed to use, Kif set out, salt, pepper, Ghost peppers, onions, dried garlic cloves, steak, and fresh swamp fish.  After staring at the ingredients for a bit he ground the pepper into dust.  Kif chopped up the onions and then placed them into the oven to dry.  He ground the garlic cloves into dust then mixed them with the ground pepper and dried onion shavings.  He then separated the mixture into two bowls.  into one he added the green slime into the other he added the black.  The black slimes bowl started smoking and kif watched as all the ingredients seemed to dissolve into it.  The green slime filled bowl reacted differently with all the ingredients absorbing the slime then turning into a fine teal colored powder.

“If only i knew what i had made.” he mumbled.  shrugging at the futility of it he decided to heat the black slime liquid up to a boil.

[Boom]

[You have died, remaining safe respawns 4 would you like to respawn?]

[Yes]

Kif pulled himself out of the sewer where his lair currently was.  Walking through dredmont he reached the merchants area where the restaurant was.  The restaurant was on fire with undead players and npc’s franticly trying to put it out.  As He watched the cook paused to look around and their eyes caught sight of Kif. “You” the cook yelled out angrily and started approaching.  Kif quickly ran out of the area and left Dredmonte.  

“I should make myself scarce.  also all my alchemy stuff is gone.  Maybe i can get Old goblin Bu to teach me woodworking.  it’s way safer than alchemy.” Kif reasoned.  Feeling upbeat Kif returned to the Vulcan lair intent on gaining some crafting experience.  Upon arriving a few hours later he greeted Bu,  “Hey Bu, what's been happening in the area?”

“Bad news boy,  the orks be attacking the dwarvses,  Matron Rue wants to see ya.” Bu responded.

“She always hits me when i see her.” Kif complained as he headed towards the matron’s home.  Kif found Matron Rue talking with 2 hobgoblins.  “Boy, you’ve arrived at a good time.  Grand generalissimo Ack here and his son Ick are taking a war party to help the stupid orcs.  Go help kill the dwarvses and then kill the orcs.  I wants that fort for me.” Rue commanded.  “Will take you two days to get there so hurry up.”  

“But i wants to learn woodworking.” Kif said.  

“Bua ha ha ha.” Ack started laughing, “ Come boy, i'll teach you the art of woodworking at the dwarvses fort.  Make sure you bring an axe.”  Kif’s eyes brightened at this and he followed the Goblin general out of the lair.  As the goblins traveled Kif got pointers from Generalissimo Ack on how to tell good carving wood from bad wood along with which trees would make the best bows or could be used to make wooden armor.  Kif also learned that the orcs had launched a secret army to attack the dwarves and were losing.  where dredmonte was the most exposed capitol of the Dark lords races the dwarvish fort Onyx was the most exposed for the forces of light.  The wartrib that Ack collected quickly rose to 30000 in number as the goblins left the Lair and traveled.  They had a long 2 days march ahead of them to reach the fortress.

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