Nothing was fine.
Lily's room was in a bit of a disarray, a pretty sizable bit at that. Her violin was lying in a heap in the corner, the bow somewhere within the rest of the mess. A stack of notebook pages she used for sketching was occupying most of the floor after she saw a sketch of Riley she had been working on for a while.
Scattered clothing only added to the atmosphere, both the dirty stuff she was too tired to put in the bathroom bin, and the dress she was meant to wear at her recital.
Meant.
The phone was stuck behind her bed, reminding her of its existence by the occasional buzzing as yet another person sent a message to ask what had happened, why wasn't she on her recital,
Who was the girl on the news that shared her last name?
After a second such message she had enough, shouting in burning frustration as she chucked her phone- well, anywhere. Just away from her.
The last thing she had on her mind was answering the same questions, especially since she didn't have any answers herself.
The more Lily tried to think about it all, the harder she felt the ribbon of anxiety and panic wrap itself around her guts, making her gasp for breath intermittently; the thoughts would not stop coming.
The next day did finally provide some answers, only Timmy able to really sleep that night, and even then, only for a few hours as he kept waking up with nightmares.
Safer than ever, riiight.
Why didn't she tell us...
Maybe if she did, she would be here with us. Maybe that guy would've been caught earlier, or there'd be a cop watching over her or, or,
Lily kept tossing in bed as her thoughts kept racing in a circle, anger boiling over yet again as she shouted into her pillow, claws slowly tearing a hole in the other side.
It didn't matter.
And as it did many times in the past couple days, anger gave way to sadness once more, the half-torn pillow as effective at muffling her pained sobs as it was at muffling her angered screams.
Which is to say not very well, but nobody minded, nobody else could mind.
They were all preoccupied with their own demons.
She hadn't seen Andrew since they came back from hospital that night, only barely heard anything from him, mostly in form of quiet cries at night.
Mom had tried to maintain the illusion of normalcy at least a bit, after all there still were mouths to feed, even if depressed. It was all bland and overcooked, but nobody really cared, or talked about it.
Or about much of anything anymore.
There were occasional updates on Riley's health, passed in almost whispers at the dinner table, after which they just went back to eating quietly especially as updates became less and less informative.
The brief moment of respite at the news that Riley was stable and had been moved out of ER, was then overshadowed by her being in a coma and there being no real estimate as to when would she get out of it.
Could be tomorrow, could be this week,
Could be never.
The latter possibility made her almost nauseous to even consider, and yet refused to let itself be forgotten for even a moment.
Your sister you've been hoping for, the sister you've been dreaming about for so long very well could be braindead, and there's nothing you can do about it.
And you wasted the brief time you had with her being an angsty, shitty, kid.
The painful thought felt like it stabbed right through her brain, her resulting squeal breaking into tears of bitter regret.
Wrong. Everything felt wrong.
Dad... he got it the worst, by far. He never shouted. At anyone. Mom told me one time how in all their time they've been together, all of twenty something years, the only time she actually heard him shout was once when he stubbed his toe one time.
And of course, back when this happened.
But it only got worse the next day.
The news stations started blathering about what happened to Riley, turning it into their own little crime drama, scooping up all the ratings they could think of as the main actor was fighting for her life in a local hospital.
Alone.
And of course, where there was news coverage came all the more and less distant family members, trying to put their spins and agendas into the story, some even trying to blame Riley for what had happened.
Lily hoped she'd never have to hear his furious screams ever again, the sheer anger in his words burning so intensely it scared her.
Her own dad scared her.
Not like Lily could blame him, the... 'family' that did something like that was hardly any better than the locusts that spent all day trying to pester anyone into giving them a scrap of juicy information, anything to have an edge over the rival stations, milking the tragedy into clicks and views.
After heckling away the first journalist that showed up, mom wasted little time in grabbing a sheet of paper, writing down "NO INTERVIEWS" on it with a thick marker and sticking it to the front of the door, message only intensified by great-grandpa's hunting rifle she placed on the nearest windowsill.
She didn't have any ammo for it, but it was enough to convey the message.
As for Timmy... he had a hard time comprehending just what had happened. He had to be calmed down regularly just so that the hospital staff would stop giving us shitty looks as we waited outside the ER room Riley was in. As far as he knew, Riley was hurt really badly by someone and she would be in the hospital until she wakes up and gets better.
Which of course didn't answer the questions of who hurt her and why, but seemingly even the tyke knew better than to keep prying into it as the sadness from everyone else kept rubbing off on him.
He didn't even try to protest when mom turned off the Christmas lights, the tree standing alone in the darkness, with nobody else wanting to even be near it right now.
Even he knew that there could be no Christmas without Riley.
Despite Lily initially being confused and even upset as to why her parents wouldn't tell Timmy the whole thing, with time she realized the painful reason, and started wishing she would forget as well.
How could anyone do something like that to anyone-
How could someone like us do that to her...
She remembered that moment too well, the clarity of all the sensations making her nauseous even two days later. Timmy couldn't find his boots, making everyone wait for him before they were mysteriously found right next to the fireplace, the resulting giggling from everyone sounding very, very bitter in hindsight.
They were well on their way to the old playground, Lily and her mom chatting about what it was that Riley raced ahead for, Timmy squeaking excitedly as Andrew pulled him on his lil' sled, occasionally the lead being passed off to dad who never got bored of grabbing it and sprinting ahead just a bit, the moment of thrills sending the tyke into adorable giggles.
And then it all stopped as they all felt it. It was impossible not to. Even as far away as they were, the sudden reek was overwhelming, both as a smell, and as the wordless message that smell cried out- a call for help, so loud it felt like someone was screaming directly into their ears.
The impact felt downright stunning, Lily looking around in confusion for the briefest moment before dad let go of the sled's leash and bolted forward, everyone else following not long afterwards. All the possibilities of what could have happened making everyone's thoughts race at a fevered pace.
And then they heard Riley scream. A shriek that only added to all the nightmarish scenarios as they were forced to slow down, completely out of breath.
It was too much, far too much, Timmy crying as he fell behind everyone else, overwhelmed by the contagious fear. Andrew turned around to stay with him as Lily and mom kept running, the girl tripping on a tree branch and landing painfully, exertion combined with the tainted air making it hard to even breathe, as she could only listen-
Listen to her dad shout her sister's name, his pleading that she stay with him, screaming at mom to call the ambulance before he took off again with Riley in his arms.
By the time Lily had managed to stagger onto the scene, it was long quiet, aftermath making her dry heave at... everything. The stained glasses just laying in the snow, the two unfinished snow-skunks Riley had managed to build before a real one assaulted her, the blood stains, the- the-
Even trying to recall all that she had seen made her get up and rush towards the bathroom, not even bothering to shut the door behind herself or turn the lights on before what has left of her breakfast exited the same way it came in.
For the third time today.
There wasn't even much left anymore to throw up, a fact that Lily's stomach conveniently ignored as the rest of her struggled to regain strength before lifting itself back up and flushing the toilet before trying to wash her face.
Try as hard as you can freezing water, there's no waking her up today, for the waking world is her nightmare.
One strained breath after another, she slowly managed to stand back up and halfheartedly dry her face, shambling back out of the bathroom towards her room, shaking a bit from the all-around cold, radiators having decided to strike against their continued use, which combined with the nasty downpour outside certainly didn't make for warm surroundings.
The gaping hole she felt inside her didn't help any either.
As she was about to return to her new hobby of spending all day in bed while alternating between screaming and crying, she stopped as she heard heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs, turning slowly around just as her mom approached.
Her expression was, well, it felt like she didn't have any. Someone had to pretend everything was alright, someone had to keep on trucking.
Of course, the key word there was 'pretend'.
"Lily, dinner's ready. C-Could you get Timmy while I go grab dad?" As much as her facade covered her appearance, it certainly couldn't cover her voice, so much quieter and withdrawn than her proud mom would ever want to be seen.
Not like she had much else to do.
The girl nodded faintly and walked up to Timmy's room, her quiet knocks masked by her mom's steps downstairs, making her just open the door to let herself in.
Timmy's was probably the only room lit as brightly as it could be right now, the kit busy drawing something anxiously. His sister's arrival made him jump and turn towards her, his frightful expression breaking something in her as she spoke up-
"Timmy, dinner's ready." Lily's voice was only a bit more dour than her mom's, her expression similarly neutral, too tired for constant grimacing. That is, at least, until she made out what her lil' brother was scribbling, a family picture with everyone sad and Riley laying on a hospital bed.
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It got a couple of tears out of her as she turned back, trying to keep herself from being seen any more as she gestured for him to follow, Timmy following wordlessly.
The front door was left open as they took their seats at the table, reheated chicken from yesterday managing to taste even less of anything.
After a moment, the parents made their way back from the dark outside, mom shivering as the rain caught her just enough to freeze her and dad just looking idly down at the ground as he stepped in, seemingly not minding the fact that he was literally dripping.
And they just ate in silence, plates getting picked clean at a snail's pace as nobody really felt hungry anymore.
Was this it?
Lily's paw twitched as it tried to stab another piece of the flavorless meat, quiet frustration boiling within once again.
Is that all they could do? Just sit there, half dead and just idly wait!?
There had to be something they could do, s-some treatment, some-some medicine, how could there not be something!
How could they all be so accepting of it, of Riley; there definitely was something- there had to-
*BANG*
Lily's fist slammed into the wooden table hard, dull pain flaring through it as the noise caught everyone's attention.
Even if there was nothing they could do, the least 'she' could do for her was just to be there for Riley.
Her body shook as she boiled in anger, fur standing on end combined with lips trembling just enough to show a glimpse of the grinding teeth looking miserable, doubly so with her bloodshot eyes.
It took her a moment to try to compose herself after her little slam, expression shifting wildly as she strained to come up with something, anything, her own throat betraying her as it refused to let any words out.
"Lily?" She was surprised to hear Timmy out of everyone gathered, his concerned question giving her enough breathing room for her to finally put her thoughts to words-
"I... I want to see her, a-at the hospital, and stay with her." The cheap fork trembled in her paw as she looked down at her plate, waiting for her parents' response if it would even come.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw mom looking up at dad for a while, the two exchanging thoughts wordlessly until she heard the latter take a deep, pained breath and speak up for the first time today-
"Alright sweetie, we-we can do that. Just take your phone with you so you can call us in case, a-alright?"
It hurt to listen to him, her dad's voice clearly straining just to keep itself from cracking into tears- nothing like what her dad usually sounded like-
But sounded everything like a father who blamed himself for his daughter almost dying in his arms.
She nodded slowly in response, emotions calming down a bit as she went back to her portion, the rest of her plate going down a fair bit faster with the added motivation.
With the slightly slimy leftovers eaten and her plate slid into the dishwasher, she wasted no time in racing back upstairs and into her room, grabbing whatever heavier stuff she could get her eyes on:
Some blouse and pants, looking awkward and mismatched, but not mattering in the slightest right now. She didn't even bother with grabbing her phone before running back out of her room, not wanting to face all the backlog it had accumulated.
She was about to dash downstairs and wordlessly inspire her dad to speed up his dinner, before she caught a glimpse of an eye peeking out at her from the darkness of Andrew's room, its door leaning open just a bit.
The sight startled her a fair bit before she realized who it really was, making her slowly walk up to her brother's room as he asked her so quietly she could barely hear him, voice obviously strained from crying-
"A-are you gonna s-see her?"
She nodded firmly in response, Andrew's one visible eye clenching shut as it leaked a couple more tears onto his cheek, her drained brother answering with-
"C-can you say h-h-hh-hi t-to her from me?"
Lily couldn't help but nod even harder, struggling to keep herself from tearing up any more as Andrew whispered out one last 'thank you' before closing his door once again.
Fortunately, by the time she had made her way downstairs dad was already done with his plate, busy putting his soaked boots back on before she joined him, a thick winter jacket rounding out her outfit.
Soon after they were in dad's car, Lily taking the front seat, in silence.
The drive was painfully quiet. The inside lights were turned off, leaving her only to stare out the windshield as any attempts at conversation only resulted in her taking in a breath as if to speak and nothing coming out.
What even was there to be said?
Her brain kept chugging along at full power, desperately trying to fill the dreadful silence with anything, just to keep the emptiness from gnawing at her too hard.
And much to her surprise, it was her dad that spoke up first.
"Lily, just... don't get your hopes up too high, a-alright?" His voice was hesitant and almost fearful, a small grimace adorning his expression as he kept on driving, eyes glistening just a bit.
"Wh-what do you mean by that!?" She snapped back at him, anger at hearing something- something like that from the one person that always motivated her to never give up dripping from her words.
Anger at being betrayed by even her own dad, by him surrendering any hope that Riley would recover he might have had.
"N-nevermind..." He responded quietly, too afraid to annoy his daughter any further as he kept driving in silence, most of Lily's immediate anger having diffused in time it took them to make their way to the hospital, dashing quickly through the rain to get to the reception.
It took a fair bit of convincing to convey to the staff that yes, they were Riley's actual family, no, they were not journalists looking for an extra buck by taking pics of an unconscious girl without her consent, and yes, they came to just see her.
Or at least Lily did, turning around in confusion once she realized dad wasn't following her and the nurse, a wordless question answered immediately afterwards-
"I... I think I'm gonna head home already. Call me to pick you up when you get tired or if anything happens, alright Lily?" He couldn't even bear to look at her, staring down and to the side, his daughter letting out an indignant 'hmph!' as her anger boiled inside her once more, before turning around and following the nurse deeper into the building, not sparing him even a glance more.
Her brief outburst was soon quenched as they walked by room after room, the girl getting an occasional glance of people in various stages of both getting better and dying. The sterile, fluorescent light only made her feel even colder.
A couple more minutes of walking and one elevator later they finally arrived at their destination, a door just like dozens of others around them, unmarked aside from the room's number stenciled in paint above the door frame, and a post-it note at roughly her eye level-
'''
ALL journalists will be escorted out of the building, and if found to be attempting to violate patient privacy laws, will have charges pressed against them
'''
Not even safe from them inside her own hospital bed, Christ...
The nurse walked in first and flicked on the lights, urging Lily to come in quickly after her. The blinds were down, probably more so for privacy than for shielding her from the darkness outside.
She looked so frail.
The covers went all the way up to her shoulders, only her right arm visible aside from her head, the cast that adorned the wrist looking unnervingly large, almost reaching her elbow.
So pale.
Left side of her head was bandage heavily as well which combined with the neck brace only made the whole picture that much more harrowing. The small two pronged nose breathing tube-thing she saw in some hospital dramas was there too, its purpose uncertain.
The bit that disturbed Lily the most were the bandages over her sister's eyes, almost looking like a white blindfold, trying to imagine why she would need something like that only threatening to send Lily into another downward spiral.
"Can I leave you two alone?" The nurse took her out of her dazzle, the girl answering with a curt nod as she grabbed a chair and slid it closer to her sister's bed as she was left alone, the nurse closing the door behind herself.
Lily had a hard time even looking up at her sister, all her doubts and regrets surfacing once more, threatening to swallow her whole on the spot.
But she had to look, she had to face her, even if her dad was too consumed by guilt to do it himself.
"H-hey Riley... A-Andrew and all of us wanted to say hi a-and I... I hope you're feeling a-alright a-and t-that we hope you'll wake up soon..." She almost whispered out, eyes tearing up as she forced herself to look at her sister, her asleep, emotionless expression, signs of all the pain she's been through...
"W-we miss you a lot, I-I miss you s-so much..." She muttered out in between quiet sobs, trying to wipe the tears into a sleeve of her woolen blouse with limited success.
"C-can I s-stay with you for a bit Riley, a-and watch over you?" The rhetorical question helped her calm down just a bit as she slid the chair as close as she could, just... watching her sister in silence.
What else could she do after all.
The quiet beeping of her heart monitor, combined with the ticking of the wall clock and the muted hospital ambiance was all she could hear, slowly calming down as she listened intently, her heartbeat slowing to match her sister's.
Eventually, her eyes fixated on the IV bag plugged into Riley's right forearm, watching it shift ever so slowly along with the blood bag next to it, the fluids providing the only visual change in the dour environment.
Her stay did go on for a while, Lily having to shake herself from the spell of sleep growing on her, its power only intensified by the boredom of her situation, as selfish as the emotion even felt to acknowledge.
But she had to stay here, stay with her. She knew Riley would do the same for her in the blink of an eye, she just knew.
She had to, she couldn't leave her sister alone like this.
The eventual realization that she'd forgotten to take her phone with her stung just a bit, less so over the mistake itself and more so because she even thought to reach for it in the first place.
You wanted to watch over your sister, so do it smartass, no cheating with a phone to distract yourself.
Granted, being unable to call her parents was also a problem, but it's not like they'd suddenly forget about her.
Unlike with Ril-
She let out an angry grunt as she ground the palms of her paws into her face in frustration. At the nasty thought she just had, at having to sit here alone while her dad was afraid to even show himself and her mom pretended everything was fine, at nothing, nothing at all being fine.
Nothing was fine.
She looked up at the room's clock: ten past nine, making her more than sure that dad was already on his way here, probably pissed off at her for forgetting her phone like that to boot.
Guess a quick bathroom visit wouldn't hurt then, after all she'd rather stay up to the bitter end when dad would inevitably drag her away rather than end up falling asleep like a- like a child.
With a strained grunt at her sore legs being forced to move once more, she lifted herself up and headed for the door, the corridor outside much less densely populated than it was just a few hours ago, but hardly empty either.
Death didn't wait until nine AM after all.
A few confused moments of searching later, she had found her way to the nearest bathroom, fortunately finding it empty.
Splashes of freezing water did a poor job at waking people up, but they certainly did help from falling asleep, mostly by making people just too uncomfortable to rest. With a handful of droplets applied directly to back of her neck, the freezing stinging on her back as uncomfortable as it may have been, was definitely effective at forcing her to stay up.
With her own awareness secured at least until she could hear an earful from dad for her troubles, she emerged back into the corridor, passing by some male nurse who sped right past her, speaking anxiously on the phone before walking back into Riley's room, the light having been mysteriously turned off since her recent departure.
Maybe it was some sort of motion or infrared sensor? Who knows?
As quickly as she gained an advantage over her own exhaustion, she lost it as she entered Riley's room once more. Too drained to even notice the slowly growing raspiness in her sister's breathing, only snapping her attention back to Riley when she wheezed loudly before resuming her harsh, raspy breathing.
Each breath sounded more and more strenuous to take, her upper body having started to almost contort itself a bit in a way that almost looking macabre, the sight scaring Lily off her seat before the realization set in that something bad, very bad was happening to her.
With a grunt to get her frozen body moving she dashed out into the corridor, calling for help as loud as her shrill, hoarse voice could handle as loud beeping from inside Riley's room joined in on the anxious chorus. A couple of doctors and other medical stuff rushed into the room within moments, Lily staying outside for the time being to not be a bother.
Their jargon was incomprehensible even on a good day, but right now it only registered as noise, only adding to the overwhelming cacophony, its intensity almost enough to make Lily break down in tears- but fortunately only almost, the alarm soon fading away as her sister was stabilized again, making her run back into the room to make sure everything was alright.
And aside from her breathing just a bit heavier than she did before, everything was back to normal, as painful as that normalcy might have been.
With a quiet sigh she took her seat back down on the chair, one of the assistants slowly walking over to her and asking in confusion-
"Excuse me miss, but who are you? Visitation hours ended over an hour ago."
"I'm... Lily Asher, her sister. F-forgot to take my phone with me a-and couldn't call my parents to pick me up, I-I think they're already on their way." She answered meekly, afraid she'd got herself in trouble on top of the preexisting mess to worry about.
"Lily... oh goodness, where were you fifteen minutes ago, we couldn't find you, your parents are- I'm gonna call them quickly, you stay here and don't leave the room, alright!?" He didn't even wait for the answer before rushing back out of the room, Lily only able to yelp quietly in response.
Could this get any worse?
It seemed that reality was about to answer her wordless question as Riley started breathing louder and louder once more, each breath deepening as Lily took a look at the slowly climbing number on her heart pulse meter.
The doctor that had stayed behind noticed it too, walking closer up to her, his expression uncertain as he just observed for a moment-
That is, until Riley had startled them both with a loud gasp, soon followed by a series of painful grunts as she writhed on her bed, Lily once again thrust into the seat of the unwilling spectator of the horror in front of her eyes.
Thankfully this time it wouldn't take nearly as long, the doctor reaching over to her bedside table and pulling a small ampule and syringe out of it, quickly dosing off the substance before injecting it into one of the small tubes coming off the place where the IV bag was hooked up to.
Its effect was seemingly immediate, the grunts lowering in intensity before subsiding completely, her sister's resulting breathing quite shaky.
And then... she looked around, as much as she could with a blindfold, a hoarse voice whispering out soon afterwards-
"W-whe-where am I..."
Riley?
The doctor caught on much faster than Lily, clearing his throat before answering, tone firm and calm-
"Riley, you're at the Intensive Care Unit of St. Luke's Hospital in Duluth."
She took in a couple more breaths as she kept trying to look around, almost as if processing his answer before the realization finally hit Lily through the fog of her exhaustion.
"R-Riley?"
Her sister froze momentarily before turning her head towards her voice, asking uncertainly in return-
"Lily?"
Riley!
The kit almost leaped from her seat towards her sister, reminding herself to be gentle only at the very last moment, the resulting hug still very firm, if not as tight as she wished she could hold her right now.
"Riley..." Lily didn't know how to respond, only leaning her head in as she stood on her knees next to the hospital bed, sweet tears of relief wetting her sister's bedsheets and bandages.
"H-hey Lily..." Riley responded with the world's quietest chuckle, her good hand slowly laying down on her lil' sis' back before moving further up, fingers sluggishly moving through the fur on the back of Lily's head as if to scritch.
"Riley, w-what happened?" Lily's anxiety was still wracking her despite her sister being finally awake and in her arms, all the horrific questions that had been sprung upon seeing the aftermath of her assault returning with vengeance.
Riley went silent for a while, quiet murmurs the only sounds escaping her lips until Lily felt her freeze suddenly, fingers on the back of her head clenching into a shaking fist momentarily before slowly being forced to relax.
And so, she remembered everything.