RECORDING // 45512-B3// 

“By what means did you obtain your BSA?”

With all of your surveilling doo-dads I would assume you already know, but that’s okay. I can chit-chat for a bit. I’m not really going any-

“Please reduce any unnecessary chatter. By what means did you obtain your-”

I told you I’d tell you, didn’t I? Doesn’t feel so good, does it? Getting interrupted?

Annnnnywaaaay,

I still can’t really believe it.

The awakening happened 2 days ago.

It was the first time I actually made an effort to turn things around. Get a job, uhhh what else, eat healthier, and workout. I started on the working out part of it just because the other two seem annoying.

And that’s where it happened,

‘Shredded Chimps Cost Friendly Gym’

I don’t know why they thought putting ‘Cost Friendly’ in their businesses’s name was a good idea but, I guess it worked on me so-

“Please reduce any-”

Unnecessary chatter, I got it… prick.

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“Pl-”

Despite its horrendous name, the place was surprisingly decent. Nothing too crazy though. A few bench presses, a few squat racks, you get the idea.

And it really was my first time working out seriously. Because of that, on my first day, I was given a free personal trainer to show me the ropes.

I think his name was Devin? Demaul? No maybe Eric? Evan?

Either way, Ernest was showing me around the gym, boasting its many amenities. 

Eventually, he lead me to the bench press.

I guess he wanted to spot me on my first-ever set. I never would have thought that’s something people think about, but whatever.

Anyway, I did as he asked.

I bet you can see where this is going, ya fucking robot.

“Please-”

As soon as I slid under the bar and gripped it, I felt something change. Something fundamental. Now, I didn’t faint like other people nor did I go into a coma-like some. If I had to explain how it felt, I’d say it was like I needed to sneeze and I was forced to suppress it.

While uncomfortable, It certainly wasn’t as bad as some of the horror stories I’ve heard.

Erin noticed this discrepancy and made sure I was all okay.

What a good PT!

I began my first set. 

Demetri started me out with just the bar. Not to offend me or anything, but it really was my first time doing a bench press.

The bar weighed nothing. As if even air resistance was negligible, I finished my set of 12 at an astonishing speed.

I think Derin noticed this because he made sure to cough out the cliche line I knew he had stored in the PT vault. 

‘ Are you sure it’s your first time working out?’

Ohoho, Ervin, you flatter me.

Still blushing(not really), I waited as the laid-back PT added more weight. And then more weight. And then some more.

Now, I’m not obligated to share all of the secrets my BSA hides. I know my rights. But I know that you guys already know this much. I am incredibly, incredibly strong.

Back at the gym people were going apeshit! It's pretty rare to spot a BSA user, let alone see an awakening firsthand. It’s especially amazing considering my BSA was actually a- uhhh how do I say this? A desirable one?

Not liking the attention, and not liking the idea of pissing anybody off. I was forced into the position of playing along. Ooooohhh yes, keep adding weight oooooo. Yeah, No. As soon as the opportunity came along, I was out of there.

That is until you people rudely came knocking on my door. I still have no idea how you found me so fast.

And those are the means by which I obtained my BSA. What a stupid way to ask ‘ How did you get your BSA?’ by the wa-

“For the time being, Alexander Black is free to go. If necessary, you may be called back in for further questioning. Thank you for your time.”

Figures. You guys are gonna keep a closer eye on me from now on, aren’t you?

“...”

END RECORDING//