Youngling, Shark-Chan, or however you may prefer to be called, I, Pao275, Suzerain of the Floof, Opposer of the Beast,  Head Vassal of Princess Fayle Sayfe, Sworn Ennemy of ducks, Protector of the restful and Gunman of Chekov, beseech you to heed mine words.

Thou have pranked us, it was well done, simple but effective, hilarity inducing.

However, for some reason, your view was once again warped, you saw so much hatred that didn't even exist, it is alarming, we readers only congratulated you on pranking us, and you saw portents of death and loathing.

This reality warping seems to even extend towards the reviews, making them appear way too hostile compared to the sentiment they originaly conveyed.

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And so, I wanted to assure you, you are loved, adored even, some may see in you the shards of a glorious and painful past, I see hope for the future, hope that you live a long and happy life, that your dreams are fulfilled and that you'll succeed where others failed.

At the risk of repeating myself, ask, and I shall do my utmost to fulfill any request you have, be it thousands of apples, ascension to the crown, mountains of [views], lands as far as the eye can see, I will do ANYTHING for you.

Oh, a last note before I sign off this chapter to be submitted, if SHE is a nuisance to you, I shall find a way to excise HER, to bring HER such ruin that never again SHE may disturb you.

I shall await thine answer young shark.