“So then…So then he goes,” Lester was struggling to speak past his own cackling laughter. Nevertheless, the two detectives standing nearby, a towering bald man and an olive skinned woman with indigo hair, eagerly awaited the rest of the story. Detective Munchkin and Detective Rowan, along with Sergeant Dax, were finishing up an enjoyable lunch while Lester regaled the officers with the story of Dax’s encounter with Reverend Fraud.
It was enjoyable for the other three, at least, Dax thought sourly as he watched people rush past the crew of uniformed officers and their loudmouthed dragonbone staff. The sergeant, self-conscious as always, felt embarrassed by the fearful glances they were receiving.
“He goes,” Lester continued after recovering from his latest laughing fit. When he spoke, a perfect imitation of Dax’s voice rose from the miniature dragon skull’s mouth, “Today I’ll settle for pruning your money tree instead of ripping it up by the roots.”
“Sounds like the Sarge,” Munchkin said in a gravelly rumble after taking a contemplative bite of his Roc sandwich. Years ago a sandwich made from the meat of a Roc would have been an expensive delicacy. Now, after enterprising farmers realized that the massive birds could be raised in captivity and fattened till they could no longer fly, an entire industry based around their consumption had taken over diners in Dalthan’s Rest.
“I think it sounds hot,” Rowan said in a sultry purr. Dax’s eyes narrowed and he began to ask her, for the third time, to fasten the top two buttons of her uniform to cover up the wickedly provocative view of her cleavage. As if she could read his mind, the fae woman’s ruby red tongue took a long, slow lick of the ice cream cone in her hand.
“Where did you even get that?,” Dax complained, trying his best to ignore the mischievous gleam in Rowan’s amber eyes as she licked the sticky white cream from her plush lips. A sudden cry of distress sent his hand jerking toward the wand holstered against his thigh as he spun toward the sound. A heartbeat later, his tension subsided when he saw the young man who had tripped over his own feet and scattered fresh fish across the street when he’d fallen to the ground. The young man in question was still staring at Rowan with a mixture of awe and hunger, like a dog begging its owner for a treat.
“You meant to do that,” Dax said accusingly as he turned back toward Rowan. Unrepentant, the fae lifted her shoulders in a careless shrug. Dax couldn’t find it in his heart to be more than mildly irritated. It wasn’t even her fault. Not really. Calling Rowan an ‘emotion vampire’ wouldn’t be technically accurate, but it wouldn’t be totally wrong either. All the fae fed off the emotions they instilled in the people around them. Some were truly despicable creatures. Living nightmares that embodied the fear they instilled into the hearts of all who witnessed them. Others were whimsical existences that brought happiness and mirth in their passing the same way that laughter followed clowns and clumsy puppies. None of those things would satisfy Rowan, however. She sought a more carnal emotion.
“Can you at least wait till we get back to the station?,” Dax pleaded as he reached down to help the starstruck boy gather up a few of the nearby fish.
“Are you offering to give me a snack, Sarge?,” Rowan asked, her voice innocent as newfallen snow but the light burning in her amber eyes was as wicked as a wet dream.
Before Dax could reply, Munchkin offered to sacrifice one of their colleagues in the name of appeasement. “Nyq will be there. When you’re in a room with him its like watching a dragon in a field full of blind sheep.”
Rowan puffed out her cheeks in a rare display of pique. “But that makes it so much less fun, Munch,” she pouted. A mournful sigh tore its way past her plump lips as she tossed the ice cream cone straight up in the air. Dax cursed roundly and took a hasty step back just in time for the sugary treat to vanish right before his eyes.
“Now can you button…,” the sergeant began, purposefully holding her amber gaze to prevent his eyes from drifting toward her chest.
“No,” was Rowan’s curt reply as her slender arms lifted above her head. The sound of strained pleasure that erupted from her lips as she arched her back into a languid stretch was enough to make several of the nearby citizens blush profusely. One woman hurriedly covered her child’s ears while shooting the fae a murderous glare.
“Can we get back to work now, Dax?,” Lester whined. “If you all didn’t spend so much time dreaming about the best way to rub your fleshy bodies against each other we could have every crime in the city solved by the end of the week.”
“I’m not the only one dreaming about it,” Dax said defensively as he rounded on the dracolich. He would have said more, but the victorious smile Rowan tossed his way caused his mouth to snap shut before he could do any more damage to his reputation.
“Why are you in such a hurry to get back to work, Lester?,” Munch asked as he brushed the sandwich crumbs off of his green uniform. “Wouldn’t you rather walk through the city than sit in the office? At least out here Dax can’t throw you in the closet whenever he gets mad.”
“Hey. Lesteragilomorous knows the rules,” Dax said as he tore his eyes away from Rowan’s smirk. “He is not to enlarge the insects in the office. For any reason.” The sergeant’s green eyes turned to the dracolich as he emphasized his with a jab of his index finger toward the dragonbone staff.
“It was an experiment, Dax!,” Lester pleaded. The empty eye sockets of the miniature dragon skull ignited with a fierce yellow flame as it vehemently denied any wrongdoing. “I would be a much more effective detective if I didn’t depend on my fellow officers for travel. You should be proud of me for using the resources at our disposal to make our department more efficient.”
Dax’s dark eyebrows knit together as he tried to keep his voice level, “Lester, Enlarge Vermin is a banned spell in Dalthan’s Rest. You knew I wouldn’t approve of you casting it. That’s why you waited until the office was empty to try it.”
“I just wanted to have a proof of concept ready for when I brought up my idea,” the staff wailed against an obvious miscarriage of justice.
“I don’t think that spider was just going to wait around for you to bring it up,” Munchkin said as he stared vacantly into the middle distance. When he spoke again, his voice was fragile as misfired clay. “That thing was the size of a horse. I don’t even think it could have fit through the door. And the eyes. So many eyes. They were almost as big as my fist.”
“It didn’t need to fit through the door,” Lester said, his layered voice becoming more desperate as a look of grim condemnation settled upon Dax’s sharply chiseled face. “It would have been more efficient to rappel down the side of the building.”
“It ate somebody,” Rowan said idly as she adjusted the neckline of her uniform.
“That homunculus was not a ‘somebody’,” the aggrieved dracolich said in an offended huff. “Its well documented that a homunculus is not individually sapient. They are an extension of their hivemind, no different than the relationship between you and your extremities. If Munch cut your finger you wouldn’t accuse him of murder.”
“But the spider didn’t know it wasn’t a person, Lester,” Dax’s low, commanding tone made the ancient dracolich immediately fall silent. “It would have eaten, or tried to eat, anything that walked through that door. We’re just lucky that the hivemind in charge of the Human Resources department decided to follow-up on Nyq’s gender sensitivity training. Someone could have been seriously hurt if it didn’t warn us about your little ‘experiment’.”
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
“Just imagine what would have happened if it had gotten out onto the streets somehow,” Rowan grumbled, one hand planted on the generous curve of her hip while the other shook a finger accusingly at Lester. “You should be ashamed, you fossilized asshole.”
The bright yellow flames flashing in the dracolich’s eye sockets grew more and more diminutive until they collapsed into pinpoints of cool blue.
“Sorry,” the dragonskull muttered with honest repentance lilting through the haunting melody of its voice.
“Hey, Munch,” Dax said as he reached up to pat his friend’s shoulder with an open palm, “Why don’t you take Lesteragilomorous back to the barracks. You can work on a report about the pixie dust investigation while Rowan and I track down Delilah.”
“Are you sure, Sarge?,” Munchkin rumbled as he tore his thoughts away from his horrific encounter with Lester’s failed experiment to focus on Dax. “Rowan and I have managed to narrow down the dust refinery to one of the empty buildings on the south side of the harbor district.”
The sergeant nodded, “I’m sure. I’ll need Rowan to track down The Lost and Found and Lester can’t get back to the barracks alone. Put all of your findings in a report and leave it on my desk. I’ll read over it and come up with an action plan for tomorrow.”
“Heard and understood, sir,” Munchkin said with a quick salute. He was already reaching toward the dragonbone staff before Lester squawked in protest.
“Hey! Don’t I get any say in what’s going on here?,” Lester said. “I helped you get to Fraud. I can help you get to Delilah too!”
“You’re too recognizable, Lester.” Dax said with a shake of his head. “This is going to be an infiltration job. Or part of it will be, at least. Not everyone in Dalthan’s rest will
recognize you, but the important ones? In the thieve’s guild? You better believe they’ll know exactly who and what you are.”
Dax knew that it was his imagination, but he got the impression of Lester’s horns drooping like the ears of a chastised dog. “Is this about the spider?,” the dracolich asked.
The sergeant rolled his eyes. “No, Lester. This is not about the spider.” Dax turned back to Munch as the big man lifted the dracolich into the air. “Leave him by the window. He did good work today. I think he deserves some time away from the closet.”
“Now that’s more like it!,” Lester screamed in an eerie wail that sent people scattering like cockroaches scrambling away from torchlight. Dax slapped his forehead as a groan of frustration slid from his lips. Unaware of his boss’ reaction, Lester’s eyes blazed with the white hot light of imminent glory. “Onward!,” the dracolich cries out as frightened screams echoed down the rapidly emptying street. “The windowsill will be the first territory I claim for my new kingdom!”
“This is your fault,” Rowan said as she watched shop owners bar their doors and close their shutters. The natives of Dalthan’s Rest knew better than to tempt fate.
“Let’s just go,” Dax muttered. He gave Munchkin and Lester a curt nod before the four officers of the Watch split up. The giantkin and the dracolich departed toward the barracks near the town center. He and Rowan turned toward the harbor and began making their way down the street just as hesitant patrons and curious shop keepers started to open up their businesses again.
“So what’s the plan?,” Rowan asked as a blue bubble erupted from her pink lips. The gum stretched into a bubble almost as big as the fae’s head before she popped it with a single slender finger. Her wrist rolled, wrapping the gum around that slim digit with well practiced ease. Once her fingertip neared her plush lips, the looked up at Dax to make sure he was watching when her ivory teeth closed around her finger and pulled the ring of gum back into her mouth.
“Must you?,” Dax asked in an exhausted tone. “I’m well aware of your oral fixation, Row. You don’t have to keep demonstrating it.”
A coy smile tugged at the corner of the woman’s lips as her jaw worked. A smaller bubble sprouted from her lips, this one quickly popped before the gum disappeared into her mouth again. “You say that, but you’re more interested in talking about my oral fixation than the plan I just asked you about.”
“You are Gods damned insufferable sometimes, Row,” Dax grumbled as he stepped around a cart laden with sailcloth.
The closer they got to the merchant’s wharf the wider, and busier, the street became. The detectives had left the eateries and the curio shops behind several blocks ago. Now large, sprawling warehouses emblazoned with their company logos took up the majority of the space. Instead of the street being filled with sightseeing tourists, or locals out for a stroll, it now teemed with carts and wagons of all shapes and sizes. Some were small two wheel carts pulled by a single person. Others were massive six wheeled wagons drawn by teams of oxen or even more exotic creatures.
“Oh! Look at that!,” the fae woman said as she slapped Dax’s bicep to get his attention. Like a giddy child, Rowan’s amber eyes were as wide as saucers while she watched the slow, ponderous steps of a massive lizard from Pi’lizik. Covered in mottled gray scales, the long necked creature stood fifteen feet tall at the shoulder. A long tail waved sensuously behind it as it drew a massive wagon laden with timber.
“Do you think the city will ever let me out of my contract?,” Rowan asked quietly while her amber eyes continued watching the enormous reptile trudge its way down the street.
The sudden change in subject caught Dax by surprise. When Rowan first arrived in Dalthan’s Rest she’d been a young fae who had been granted permission to leave The Forever Glade for the first time. Inexperienced and drunk on her first taste of real freedom, Rowan had been far less circumspect on how she cultivated the emotions she fed upon. In three months time she’d blown into the city like a hurricane, wrecking marriages, ending political careers, and inciting bloody bouts of delicacy. The more victims she accumulated the higher her body count became.
At the end of her three month reign of terror she’d found Dax and a set of mana draining manacles.
After a lengthy interrogation the sergeant had argued in favor of leniency. Of a sort. Rowan would sign a fae contract with him to work off her debt to the city by solving the same kinds of crimes that had been committed in her name. It was an imperfect solution, but such was the nature of compromise.
“I’m not sure, Row,” Dax began with a hint of hesitation in his voice. “I don’t know what the council will do when your contract with me runs out. That’s above my paygrade. I do know that they can’t keep you forever. I also know that the more good you do the less leverage they have over you.”
By the time he finished speaking Rowan’s enchanting amber eyes were focused on him. For a time the two stood in silence. Dax wondered, not for the first time, if today was the day. Breaking a contract would hurt her, badly, but it wouldn’t kill her. Even wounded, her magic would let her escape.
And Dax didn’t know if he had the heart to track her down again.
“Well, I guess I better start doing some good then,” Rowan said without looking away from Dax’s vibrant emerald eyes.
“I guess you should,” Dax returned, trying to hide the sense of relief he felt. He doubted he could succeed against the perceptive fae.
When he saw her lopsided grin he knew he’d failed.
“Come on, you ungrateful little minx,” he said as he suddenly turned away from her to start walking toward the wharf once more. “We’ve got to track down Delilah before we can go back to the barracks.”
He heard the rapid clicks of her short, hurried stride. When she fell into step beside him once more, she asked, “So what’s the plan? You never let us know what your big elaborate schemes are.”
“This one isn’t big or elaborate,” Dax said as he flashed her a mischievous grin. “It just involves a little bit of my know-how and a lot of your magic.”
Rowan simply watched him expectantly. One meticulously sculpted eyebrow arched, wordlessly urging him on when the sergeant indulged himself in one of his dramatic pauses. It was an open secret that the detective had always wanted to be an actor. Even if his showmanship was generally shit.
“So I got to thinking,” Dax said, his smile taking on a predatory cast as he flashed a set of sharp ivory teeth. “The easiest way to find a thief…”
“...is to be one.”