Yea, I'm beginning to understand real quickly why the actual travel to get from one island to another is mostly skipped. To us viewers, it looked like the the Strawhats would go from one adventure to another with barely any time passing. This, however, couldn't be farther from the truth! It's been a full week since we left Gaimon's island and yet the moment still hasn't come for the next plot point. Honestly, I guess I should enjoy the peace and quiet while I can. This early in the crew's adventures, nothing groundbreaking actually happens but that changes real soon.
I'm not yet ready to fight gods that can strike me down with lightning or even warlords who can control sand and can suck the life out of me with nothing but a thought. That's why, during these 3 days, me and the kids have been training Paper Art together. I say "training" but really, it's more like intense stretching. We have been pushing our bodies to the limits with trying to make them more flexible, and by Goda does it hurt! I really didn't think this would be so hard, I saw kids more flexible than me on youtube doing flips and having a jolly old time, but by Goda it hurts!
You know what the worst part is? It's the simple things that hurt the most! During our first day, I gave the boys one simple command: No matter how much I beg or scream, push me down until I complete the split. It was meant as a joke, said in a complete humor-filled tone.
'It's just splits' I thought. 'Let's start with the easiest first' I thought. The fact that the brats seemed to take an almost sadistic sense of glee at my pain only made it worse. Either I'm just not the most flexible person or those things are torture! Which didn't make any sense at first, because in my first life, I could actually do splits. It was then I realised the problem.
I've been working out wrong. Well, not so much as wrong but very inefficiently. You see, I haven't been stretching before workouts, like, at all. I know, in hindsight, obviously you should always stretch before you workout but I never fully realised why that was so important. When your muscles begin destroying and repairing itself in an effort to make itself stronger, muscle mass gets added to your body.
This mass, if not stretched can hinder movement, even sometimes interfering with the ability to take the adjacent joints through their complete range of motion. Since I haven't been stretching at all, all this rigid muscle has been added to my body, making me stiff. Really, I'm just an idiot, that's what it all sums up to. Finally getting done with our morning stretch, me and the boys head to the kitchen where Carrot set up his makeshift bar. It doesn't look like much now, not having much variety, but as we go to different islands, we'll stock up.
Carrot has even been mentioning making his own drink, one that will put the others to shame. For now though, good old rum will do. We all sit down with Carrot going behind the makeshift bar Pepper built. He pours us a glass and from Goda knows where pulls out a white towel and begins wiping down the already clean counter top.
"So you brats, how do you enjoy being pirates so far?" I ask with a smile. Immediately I get grins and laughs in return.
"It's amazing! We've already visited a weird island! You should have came with Usopp, we met this strange pirate guy who was stuck in a chest for like, 100 years or something." Pepper exclaimed after downing his shot. Sometimes I wonder if I should actually stop the kids from drinking, but then I think, 'Nah, too much work, they already started'.
"It was not 100 years Pep, it was 20." Onion correct after drinking his rum.
"Eh whatever, don't sweat the small stuff. At least I was close." Pepper says with a smile. I could see Onion's eye begin to twitch and his smile became strained.
"You were nowhere near close you fool! You weren't even at half!" at the outburst, Pepper just laughed with a smile, which caused Onion to get more annoyed.
"Anyways, he was pretty weird looking and had this big green hair. At first he tried tricking us into thinking he was some spirit of the forest but we quickly caught on. He tried to scare us away from finding the treasure on the island and from hurting the animals." Carrot interrupted from behind the bar, now cleaning the classes from the other boys drinks.
"Oh?" I asked in fake interest. Just because I know, doesn't mean I have to not play along. These are good bonding moments with the kids that isn't training or fighting for our lives. "Well? Did you get the treasure anyway? Or did you leave it alone?" They all looked at one another at my question, before bursting out in laughter. I adopted a confused face.
"What?" I asked
"Well we found all the treasure chests, there were like 5 of them!" Pepper laughed out.
"However, it seemed it was all for naught. The chests Mr. Gaimon was so avidly protecting, turned out to all be empty." Onion explained further with a push of his glasses and a smirk. Immediately, the laughter began again, even harder than before. I put up an image of being kinda awkward about the situation.
"Isn't that kinda mean guys? Laughing so much about a man wasting his life?"
"Fear not-"
"Yeah! The guy didn't waste his life. He loves those animals and that island, staying there to protect both. The 'treasure' doesn't matter to him anymore." Carrot finished for Onion. I let my smile become more relaxed and honest.
"Well that's good at least. A pirate should always be doing what they enjoy and following their dreams."
----------------------------------------
After our quick drink, we decided to head back to the deck. Nami could be seen relaxing and reading a book. Zoro, being the lazy bum that he is, was laying a small rooftop the Marry had. Me and the kids separated as I walked up to her. As she noticed my approach, she adopted an annoyed look and sighed as I made my way to her.
"What do you want now Usopp?" she asked in an irritated tone. I smirk at her attitude and play her annoyance off. For the past few days, I've been trying to get our Navigator to train in the Paper Arts with me and the kids. Obviously it hasn't been going very well. In fact, I'm probably her least favorite Strawhat right now.
"Nami, you're a pirate now, I'm just trying to look out for you. We're training again around noon and once more after that around sunset. Why don't you join us?"
"Ugh, I've told you many times already that I don't want to. And training?" she looks at me incredulously. "What training? So far, all I've seen you do is play around with kids and stretch. No thanks, I'd rather relax. Lastly, I am not a pirate. Now can you please leave me alone and go away? Why do you even care?"
"We will be facing more dangerous people as we go on our adventure and-"
"And I'll be gone by then!" she shouts, interrupting me. "Leave me alone Usopp, I don't want to play with you and your brats." Nami says with finality in her tone, ending the conversation and going back to her book. I sigh in regret.
I know a sure-fire way to get her to train with us. If I can start the crew's training as early as possible, it will only benefit us down the line. I knew that this would happen though so I thought of ways to get her to join and only came up with one.
Money.
I could bribe her with the money I've attained so far into training. The problem is, knowing her, I'd be broker faster than I could teach her anything valuable. It's just not worth it as this point. With that in mind, I look up towards Zoro.
"What about you Zoro?" I ask with hope in my voice. The thing with Zoro is, he doesn't really need my help. If I left Zoro completely alone, he would still become a badass who could take on half the world and win.
But what if I made him even better?
The thought wouldn't leave my mind no matter how much I tried to distract myself. Just think, a Zoro who could fly, dodge, and shave using 3 of the 6 Powers. Think of him incorporating flying into his already awesome skill set. I just had to see it, it needed to happen.
"Eh, what about me?" he says, nonmoving from her apparently comfortable position.
"Would you like to train with us? We could always use more training partners. And after we're done training the Paper Art, we and the kids could join your training. Well, the strength training part anyway. I don't think any of us will truly be able to pursue swordsmanship." I offer. Zorro trains every day. Every. Single. Day. With how powerful he becomes, he has to be doing something right.
"Hmm…" he ponders for a bit. "Well I don't see any harm. You guys are all pretty strong, especially the kids for their age. If you are training in something, this 'Paper Art' must be pretty amazing too. Just like that 'Shave' technique. Fine, next time you are training give me a heads up." he agrees. I swear, my smile could almost rival Monkey D. Luffy's with how big and wide it grew.
That's when I began to hear some thumping coming our way. Well speak of the D. Luffy appeared carrying a large wooden crate of black balls to the deck. Confusion plagues me at first before I finally realise my mistake. They weren't normal balls, they were cannon balls. Which means-
Luffy drops the crate with a small crash. "Phew, these suckers are heavy."
"What the hell is that?" Nami decides to ask.
"I found them in the storeroom." Luffy answers.
"Oh! Oh! I know what they are!" Carrot shouts from the side. "The weapons every great Pirate ship needs!" he says with stars in his eyes. Pepper appears next to him with just as much amazement.
"The one thing that separates the plebs from the legends!" yells Pepper.
"The divider between the great and the forgotten." Onion states with a fix of his glasses.
"Cannon Balls." I say with a smile. It means I'm finally at the next episode.
"Ohh yea! There's no way in hell are we passing up this opportunity, right Usopp!? We have fucking cannons!" Carrot cursed. Hmm, maybe he's developing a bad mouth habit. Well, we are pirates, everyone has their own little quirks, especially in the One Piece universe. Onion is weirder now that he's started his smartass talk.
"Right!?" asked Luffy. "Usopp as your Captain I order you to show me how to use the cannons!"
"Well, it seems I've been put in a tough spot, I can't deny Captain's Orders after all. Fine! I shall first teach you how to shoot yourself, and then show you how it's really done! My name is known far and wide throughout the high seas as the Cannon God! Be grateful my dear Captain, as you have chosen wisely. No one could teach you better than I!" I proclaim with exaggeration.
""""Whoaaa~"""" Luffy and the kids say in awe, their eyes literally twinkling. Being in an anime is so weird, but Goda I'm happy to be here. While I'm a more serious Usopp, it doesn't mean I'll completely take away from Usopp's character. I'm more serious and deadly than the original ever was or ever will be, but he was goofy and outgoing to. I'll make sure to be just the same, to honor this body of mine.
After a bit of explaining, more lies mixed in then truths, I load up the cannon for Luffy.
"Alright! The target is that large rock in the distance." closing my eyes to adopt a scholarly persona with one finger in the air, I continue. "The key, my dear Captain, is to aim your sights-"
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"FIIIREEEEE~!" BOOM
I open my eyes to see the cannonball miss so far off the mark, it wasn't funny. At least not to me. For some reason after inhabiting this body, I've taken anything to do with aiming quite seriously. This must be what Zoro feels like when a ametuer swordman dares to grace his presence. I found the lack of aim quite appalling.
"Man, that way way off the mark. Usopp you're pretty bad at teaching." he said staring at the big splash said cannonball made. I tried to hold back my response. I really did, but then my eye began to catch a sudden bout of the Twitches, and the unexpected want to ring my Captain's neck grew strong.
"Why didn't you let me finish you idiot! And don't scream in other people's ears! Move over!" I push him out the way take aim.
"Hey! What's so loud down there?" Zoro asked groggily, looking at me behind the cannon and then the last of the falling water from the missing shot. Wait a second, weren't we just talking about training a few minutes ago, how did he possibly fall asleep so fast. "Usopp was that you? Man, you suck. You should probably stick to guns."
Oh...well would you look at that, the twitches are back.
"Okay! Everyone shut up and watch how it's fucking done you scallywags!" I shout while aiming the cannon. Huh, maybe I'm the one responsible for the kids new found pottymouth?
I mentally shrug. Eh, nothing I can do about it. What's done is done now. "Give me the signal boys!" I order. The kids and Luffy glance at each other before a wide smile spreads across their faces.
""""FIIIREEEE""""
BOOM
The cannonball hits dead center. Well, of course it did, I would die of shame if I actually missed, though I had no worry that it was actually going to happen.
"Wow!" Luffy exclaimed with literal stars in his eyes. Anime is so fucking weird. "You hit it first try, that was so cool! You might be the best Sniper around."
"Heheh! What do you mean Captain? Of course I'm the best Sniper, the Pirate King only has the best right?" I ask him with a grin, looking away from my successful shooting for just a second to see him grinning back. There's just...something about Luffy's smile that makes all the things I will go through, so much more worth it (as weird as that sounds). I'll be facing delusional gods, Warlords, and even Emperors eventually, but I can't help but look forward to it. Each day here, each day with this crew, being a Strawhat, is amazing.
"Well that was fucking awesome, we should celebrate! Free drinks at the bar!" shouts Carrot and a roar of agreement sounds around the ship, even Nami, but not Zoro. He just looked at all of us with a small smile. Didn't we just have drinks? And since when were they not free? Either way, we make our way back into the kitchen and sit around the bar.
"You know guys, I was thinking, we have a lot of the positions we need filled already, but there's one we have to get before we head out to the Grandline." Luffy says Carrot pours all of us a drink.
"You're right-" Nami agrees. "The kitchen is really nice on this ship. Just pay me and I'll do it."
"I suppose it is vital for long trips." Zoro adds sleepily. Seriously, how lazy is this guy?
"No decent Pirate ship should be without one. A Musician!" Luffy says with his trademarked wide smile.
"Ugh, are you an idiot?!"
"What do you think we're doing out here?" Nami asks after Zoro. I simply start to laugh. And take my shot of rum.
"While not completely necessary, a good Musician is needed sooner or later-"
"Right?!" Luffy shouts, interrupting me, which was only slightly annoying.
"Usopp, you can't be agreeing with this idiot right?" Nami asked baffled.
"Hey!" shouted our Captain.
"Well of course not, he is a dumbass after all-" I respond.
"Hey!"
"But we should probably think of all the positions we want to fill on the ship anyway. We already have a Navigator, a Swordsmaster, a Sniper, a Barkeeper, a Carpenter, and a LogBooker. That's a lot done, but we still need a Doctor, a Shipwright, a Musician, and maybe some Gunners and Swashbucklers."
"Swashbucklers? What are those?" asked Luffy in confusion. "And I thought you were our Gunner. Now that I think about it, what's the difference between a Carpenter and a Shipwright anyway? Can't Pepper just take care of the ship?"
"No can do Captain." Pepper responds. "While I'll do my best, Carpenters and Shipwrights just aren't the same things. I can just fix and build wooden structures. While every Shipwright is a Carpenter, not every Carpenter is a Shipwright. I'm good but I'm still learning, and I will no doubt miss a few things. If we want to be safe, we need a person who specializes in ships." Pep finishes which only makes the rubber man more confused.
"Swashbucklers are Swordsmen of the crew while Zoro is our Swordmaster. It's uncommon, I think, but it'll probably be good for us if we go down this route. Zoro would train the Swashbucklers to take care of the cannon fodder and weaklings while he and the rest of us take on the big important guys. It's the same for Gunners, I can train them in shooting to help us while we are fighting big groups of people." I explain to him. This is my plan, the Strawhats are a tight knit group of power houses but I always wanted the crew to be expanded a bit more. Even if it was simply background characters that never got a name, I didn't care, the Strawhat Pirates are simply too small for my liking.
CRASH
Before Luffy could respond to my explanation, a ruckus was heard on the deck of our ship. Crashing and angry yelling could be heard from an idiot outside.
"Get out here you damn Pirate!" the angry man screamed. Luffy immediately went to go check on who was thrashing his new ship while me, the kids, and Nami piled around the small window to see what was going on. It was a tan man with weird looking shades wearing a light blue hoodie, and a purple shirt underneath. Most notably, he had a tattoo with what seemed like Kanji on his left cheek. In his hand was a dadao sword with a red handle and a circular tsuba. The blade of the sword got broader as it got farther away from the hilt.
Johnny
"Hey what the hell?! Who are you?!"
"Shut up!" responded the man. "Who I am means nothing! Ya stinking pirate!"
CRASH
The man broke a railing while trying to attack Marry once more.
"Hey guys, how many are there?" asked Zoro, not worried at all, sitting on the floor.
"Uh just one." Nami answered.
"Then just let him handle it."
Now, normally I would agree, I know what happens after all and Luffy would be fine. The problem is, looking at how red Pepper's face is getting right now, I can assume he isn't happy about some random guy wrecking our ship. He may not be a Shipwright, but as a Carpenter, he seems to be taking this very personally. If one more thing on this ship breaks, I think he's going to go ballistic.
"Over the years I've lost count of all the Pirate heads we've taken. And now you guys think you can kill-" Johnny winds up another swing with his sword, but before he could attack, the door opened in front of me and Pepper shaved in the air, next to the man. His leg seemed to already been bent back in preparation, and the moment Johnny tried to swing his sword, he got a kick to the face that sent him crashing over the ship and into the air, over the water.
"STOP BREAKING OUR FUCKING SHIP!"
"Lost by a haiiiirrrr~~!" he yelled as flew and crashed into the sea. For a few seconds….I honestly thought that Pep killed the poor guy. He didn't come up for a while and I could only stare in shock and hope until he did. When it finally happened though, I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Johnny?" asked Zoro, stepping out the kitchen for a second.
"Big Bro Zoro!"
----------------------------------------
A few moments later, we got the soaking idiot out of the water and onto the deck. Zoro walked out full from the kitchen to get a better look at our intruder. Luffy looked confused, asking if he knew Johnny but Zoro didn't answer right away.
"Who cares if he knows this retard or not?! He was messing with our ship! Such a debt can only be repaid in blood!" shouted Pepper. Johnny shivered, and I don't think it was from the cold.
"Man, that's one scary kid."
"Calm down brat, he's an old friend." our swordsman said in defense of his fellow pirate hunter.
"Thank you Big Bro! I knew I could count on you to save me from these savages!" Johnny said with tears in his eyes. Pepper didn't look like he wanted to let it go but huffed and backed off. It seems like Johnny made a very bad first impression on the kid.
"What are you doing here Johnny?" Zoro asked in confusion.
"Huh? Me? What about you? Why are you on a pirate ship? Why is that kid so freaking strong? What's going on around here?!"
"Hey relax, is everything okay? Where's Yosaku?"
At that, Johnny looked overboard with a pained expression. A little boat was connected to our ship and inside laid a bleeding man. He wore a long dark green trench coat with a red band around his right arm with a yellow circle on it. He had on black undershirt and yellow striped shorts that didn't match with his outfit at all and made him look like a bum. On his head was what looked like a red head guard with a bronze plaque that left his gray buzzcut out to see.
"He's been sick." Johnny explains in a whimper, clearly worried about his friend. Zoro placed a hand on his friend's shoulder in comfort. We bring up Yosaku and set him on the deck gently.
"What is it?"
"Up until a few days ago he was healthy and full of life, and now, he keeps fainting and getting really pale. I have no idea what's causing it. His teeth has been falling out and his old wound opened up and started bleeding. He just got worse and worse and I didn't know what to do. So I thought maybe we'd just rest on a little island, but then...a cannon ball came flying from this ship!"
At his story, Luffy's and the brats mouths fell open in shock and all turned to me in tandem. I then promptly looked away and whizzled in my fake ignorance. I must admit, I felt kind of bad shooting the canon ball. I knew he would be alright though, and changing the plot, even a little, is always a risk. I know I'm going to bulldoze fate anyway, but choosing to change shooting at the duo when I know they'd be fine just wasn't worth it. They'd be kind of mad at first, but they'd get over it.
Luffy and the kids bowed and apologized while I kept up my whistling practice.
"Oi, why are we the only ones apologizing, your the one who shot the cannon ball Usopp!" Pepper shouted out. There were yells of agreement from the other kids and looks of anger.
"Who? Me? What could you possibly mean?" I asked back with a cute and adorable head tilt.
"It doesn't matter, sorry isn't good enough." Johnny said with his head down. A look of panic crossed everyone's face. "Isn't that right...partner? Big Bro, give it to me straight...is he going to die?"
Zoro couldn't answer. From his point of view, the situation looked bad, really bad. Yosaku was breathing heavily, and his would seemed to be getting worse. Everyone didn't need to be a doctor to tell that he was in immense pain.
It was then that the weather witch decided to bless us with her presence. She strode out onto the deck, ignoring the tension, and walked up to the motionless Yosaku.
"He's so dumb." Nami said after taking a look at him.
"Watch it!" Zoro said in a growl, defending his friend. Nami kneeled down and stuck out the dying man's tongue and placed a hand on his head. She began pulling the tongue up and down, as if it were a toy. Johnny didn't take kindly to this and grabbed the witches arm roughly.
"Stop it! Whatever your doing, stop! You're mocking his death! Damnit you'll-" Nami, tired of his yelling and spittle flying into her, grabbed the offenders face to shut him up in annoyance. I couldn't help but chuckle at the situation and finally decided to speak out. Sometimes letting things play out as they should makes the fanboy in me gezim.
"I'll handle this. Carrot, Onion, this is an order from Superior Mate: Usopp. Acquire the extra lemons we have in storage." I command in a serious voice. The moment the order left my lips, the tears and sadness were whipped away from their faces, almost as if they were never there. Their backs straightened and expressionsions stiffened as their left arm went to their backs and the right went to their chests in a salue. It was something I taught them, the salute from Attack on Titan.
""Yes Sir!"" and without hesitation, they Shaved away. Moments later, they arrived with the lemons.
"Squeeze them over his opened mouth." I order and they both do as told. The juices from the lemons began slowly dripping out, some landing on his face and some going into the right destination.
"He's got scurvy." Nami said as she watched.
"Scurvy?" asked Johnny.
"If we weren't too late, we'd be just fine in a few days." at this, his face split into a smile.
"Really Big Sis?! Really?! Thank you Big Sis! Thank yo-" Nami placed her hand to stop the spittle from flying onto her again.
"Don't call me that, it sounds so dumb. Besides, this used to be a hopeless disease that plague sailers, we just know how to deal with it now. This is caused by a simple deficiency in plant derived nutrients, like Vitamin C. Back in the old days, they couldn't carry fresh fruits and vegetables because they couldn't store them, we know better now." Nami explained.
"Hey Usopp, what was that?" Zoro asked.
"What was what?"
"That, with the kids. I've known you all enough by now that if you normal told the brats to do something, they'd give you a lot more snark. This time however...they got all stiff and did that weird salute."
"Yea…" Nami pitched in. "What was that about anyway?"
"Oh that? Well, it's kind of like this. Luffy is our Captain right? But Luffy is an idiot-" "Hey!" "and so sometimes we don't do everything he says. Despite this, if Luffy really gave us an order or command, we'd follow it in a heartbeat. He's our Captain, so we do what he says."
"That doesn't make sense." Nami spoke up confused. "You just said that you guys don't do everything Luffy orders but then in the next moment you say the exact opposite." I shake my head.
"No, that would be akin to mutiny against our Captain. Yes, we don't do everything Luffy says, but we do however do everything he orders. Despite not talking about it, there are natural ranks on this ship. Luffy as Captain, Zoro as 1st Mate, and me as 2nd Mate. They don't have to do everything I or Zoro tell them, but orders are taken seriously, especially on a Pirate ship." I explained. Zoro raised an eyebrow at his apparent rank in the crew but didn't say anything Nami though, apparently had some objections.
"Now wait just a minute! I can kind of get Zoro but why the hell are you a higher rank than me?! I was on the ship before you!"
"Oh?" I asked in a teasing tone. "But you're not actually a Strawhat are you? Unless you want to finally stop your futile resistance and admit your apart of the crew?"
"Over my dead body, I'll never be a Pirate!"
"Well then it looks like your opinion on the matter doesn't mean much, now doesn it?" I get a grumble and a look of irritation from her. It was then that we all noticed some movement from our dying friend on the ground. He suddenly sat up with a dumb look on his face.
In seconds, he was up dancing around in circles with Johnny, celebrating his recovery.
""Hurray Hurray! Hurray Hurray! Hurray Hurray!""
"Nutrients cured me!"
"He's all better!"
""Hurray Hurray! Hurray Hurray! Hurray Hurray!""
"Idiots! You can't heal that quickly!" shouted Nami who already was in a bad mood before they started yelling and dancing. At her scream however, they did stop and got into some weird poses.
""Allow us to introduce ourselves.""
"My name is Johnny."
"And I'm Yosaku."
""Together we're the baddest Pirate bounty hunting duo in the world.""
"Big Bro Zoro there used to be one of us." said Johnny.
"Glad to make your acquaintance." said Yosaku
Well...the story is finally kicking off. I've prepared as much as I could.
Let's begin