“...Can’t make heads or tails of it, Boss man. Pieces twist when they oughta turn, and flop when they shoulda be flippin’.”

CAL slowly came to consciousness, the fog of confusion fading by the second..

“Must have taken more of a beating from Calica than I thought. Can’t even feel my feet.”

Helpless as he lies on whatever cold hard surface is beneath him. CAL focused his attention on the conversation above him.

“...Understand? You put him back together, how are you going to tell me you don’t understand how he works?”

Naught’s voice held a level of irritation to it. Remembering his KO punch, CAL silently wondered if he is still the source of his ire.

“Neva said I couldn’t fix it, all ya Sanctus are built wit the same core structures. If ya know one, ya know’em all. I said he don’t make sense. It’s like he’s an older model, got parts I neva seen, and redundancies out the fuckin’ wazoo. Even da new parts look crustier than my grammy’s panties after prune and ‘ghetti night.”

“Alright, let’s accept the fact he may be from the Third or even 4th founding. That doesn’t explain why he is so weak.”

“Ya said it yaself Boss-man. He fights like a rabid animal, careless, brash and self sacrificin’. Could be he just needa kick in the ass and a lesson in dodgin’.”

“Even so, that doesn’t add up. Every third founder is at minimum a planet buster. I doubt he could even break a mountain.”

CAL took offense to this, thinking to himself of the myriad of times he performed amazing feats of strength. Unfortunately for him, none came to mind. Only furthering Naught’s point.

“I suppose we can do a founding scan on him later, what‘s your final verdict on him.”

“Final verdict? Ya boy’s anomaly, through and through. His innards are ancient, but he runs like a brand new Therite engine. If ya never brought’em in, I woulda thought he was a 20th founder.”

Naught grumbled to himself for a moment before CAL heard him get up.

“Bring him back online. We have a lot of work to do.”

With a sudden shock, CAL felt all of his senses snap back in a painful jolt. Immediately turning on his visor, he recognized where he was, the Medbay. Naught stood in the distance to his right, observing the readings on the mountain of screens in front of him. Dustin on the other hand, sat comfortably on a wheeled stool eagerly staring at him. A construct Orangutan and the Tarantula from before both hung from the ceiling overhead, watching him intently.

Attempting to move his arms and sit up, he found himself restrained by fairly robust clamps.

“Whoa there, shiny. Don’t go movin’ anywhere, da table’ll lift ya up. I don’t need ya shootin’ blades and wreckin’ my shop. Whole reason I shut ya body down in da first place.”

“You shut me down just so I wouldn’t… Wait, is that why I was in the general hospital instead of the Medbay? Just so I wouldn’t mess up your shop?”

“Bingo shiny, I wasn’t havin’ my place ruined if ya turned out ta be some fuckin’ psycho death bot. And judgin’ by all this pirate business, I ain’t bein’ proved wrong on that thought.”

The table lifted CAL up vertically before the clamps released him, however, before he could rebuttal against the ghoulish doctor. Naught placed his titanic hand on his shoulder.

“CAL, I would like to apologize for the punch yesterday. It was completely unprofessional and the situation could have been handled… better.”

“Uh, not a problem, Naught. I understand the sentiment, consider it water under the bridge.”

“With that said, you have put us in a hole, a very deep hole. The deal I was able to broker between the two of you has far more riding on it than the lives of the prisoners. The entire outer rim hangs on the outcome of this battle.”

“Um… What?! How is that even possible?”

CAL stared at Naught dumbfounded as he pulled up a screen display between them.

“You really don’t seem to understand the depths of this Challenge or your opponent. Calica is, and I say this from experience, utterly insane, petty, and self absorbed.”

“Listen to da Boss man, shiny. He’d know a thing or two bout old Cali, after all, he fucked around with her’n found out. Didn’tcha Boss man?”

If Naught could blush, CAL was pretty sure he would have been redder than a cherry.

“This is true… but not a factor in the current discussion Dustin. Anyway, you see this highlighted area on the galactic map?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“That is Calica’s territory. We promised her a good fight, if she doesn’t get that fight, she is liable to send every pirate and raider into the outer rim and possibly even the inner rim to get her violent fix. We are talking nearly 10 Million pirates as a lowball estimate.”

“And why can’t you all just stop her?”

“Are ya that smooth brained Shiny or do you just got more nuts in ya sack than diodes in ya head?”

Dustin turned on the machine next to him and began smoking the red fumes emanating out of its tubes. Coughing heavily as he finished his first pull.

“Ah that’s the good stuff. ‘Course Boss man and da motley bots could take down da wicked bitch of the east. But there’d be a lot of innocent worlds gettin’ caught in the crossfire. See what I’m sayin’ Shiny?”

“Dust is right. Bottom line, we need you to perform well, and I’ve come up with the perfect plan to help you do it. A five week training regiment!”

“Training? Like 100 Pushups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and 10 mile runs?”

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“Not quite! Normally, for all of the Sanctus we bring here, we create a training and learning regiment to assist them in understanding the galaxy at large and strengthening their bodies to endure the brutality that is said galaxy. It normally takes about six months to accomplish this.”

“But we ain’t got that kinda time! *Coughs heavily* So me, Boss man, and Austarion put together a nice’n tight training system for ya. Boss man and da smarts upstairs’ll teach ya da galaxy. I’ll tinker, temper and tweak ya body to peak condition, and ol’Austarion’ll beat the fuckin’ weak bitchness outta ya.”

CAL looked back to Naught, feeling a sense of personal offense

“Is all of this really necessary? I think I did pretty well against her before, even if she was holding back.”

Naught looked to Dustin who rolled his eyes, smacking his forehead.

“Bossman, I swear ya gotta stop bringin’ me these defective models.”

Naught placed a hand on CAL’s shoulder, kneeling down to his level.

“CAL, did you notice that throughout the entire fight, she never once unsheathed her blade.”

He froze for a moment, recalling the battle, remembering the blade piercing his body, cutting his arm.

“No way, she unsheathed it to attack the prisoners. Then called it back to her after I kicked her.”

“That she did.” Naught said as he opened the security cam file, clearly showing what CAL just said. Also showing her place it in the sheath and fighting the entire battle with it on.

“Calica was toying with you. Even both of your final attacks were childishly weak. You’re not even playing the same game as Calica, she was testing her reflexes. You were fighting like your life depended on it.”

CAL stared wide eyed at the footage, his ego completely deflated as he watched Calica manhandle him without even fully equipping her weapon.

“Y-Y-You mean I was… She just…”

“Yeah, Shiny. You’re a weakling. And don’t start cryin’ about it, took three weeks to get Fem Bot’s oil tears out of the flooring.

“I can’t be that weak! It’s impossible! I refuse to believe it!”

CAL angrily knocked Naught’s hand away as he walked around the Medbay.

“CAL listen, how about you prove your strength tomorrow? On the first day of training we measure everyone’s stats. If you think you are stronger than what we believe, that is the time to prove it.”

CAL looked at Naught sternly, nodding in approval.

“Alright, I’ll show you my full power tomorrow, and you’ll be amazed at-”

“WHERE IS HE?!”

Everyone paused, turning to the main door as the raging voice rang out. Sliding open Wahno immediately floated in, dashing straight to CAL laughing like an insane asylum patient, all while screaming a single phrase over and over again.

“Now you fucked up! Now you fucked up! Now you fucked up!”

Zav kicked the doors open as they attempted to close on him. In a single, sublimely flawless motion, leapt over the railing to the ground floor, pulled out his massive pistol and kneecapped CAL’s right leg . Grabbing him by the neck as he fell to the ground, Zavorn slammed CAL against the wall, firing three shots into both shoulders and his left hip, crippling him all before CAL could even recognize what happened. Zav placed the gun to CAL’s head and try as he might, CAL was completely helpless against Zavorn’s raw strength, a sharp contrast to his slender and unassuming physique.

“Zav! What the hell are you doing!?” Naught yelled as he pulled the two apart just as Zav pulled the trigger, the bullet just barely missing CAL’s head.

“Doing what I told you to do when you first picked up this walking hazard. I told you from day one he would cause us no end of difficulties and what is the first thing he does? Nearly starts a war with the most dangerous pirate in the galaxy.”

CAL slid to the ground, suffering a bit of whiplash after what just happened. “Dude, what the heck, I barely even met you! No need to try and delete me on the second introduction.”

“Zav calm down, I have the situation under control.”

“Naught, I have never doubted your opinions on a situation, but I highly doubt that. This idiot is a threat to every ounce of the peace we have worked so hard to maintain, I feel it in my mainstream. Imagine if that was a Republic representative, or worse, if it was someone like Mortis. We need to clip this cancerous cell before it can fester and spread.”

Zav pointed his pistol at CAL again, firing another shot. Though much to his surprise, CAL rolled forward dodging the shot, summoning a construction hammer and throwing it at Zav. Hitting him square in the face, causing him to fire twice into the ceiling.

“Ey man, don’t go puttin’ holes in my ceiling and walls! Takes too much fuckin’ effort to get’em out.”

Before Zav could fire again, Naught grabbed his arm.

“Zavorn, you will stand down right now, and lower your weapons.”

The caring and understanding voice of mediation vanished from Naught, replaced by a harsh tone of authority. For a moment though, CAL thought Naught grew several inches larger. His imposing figure seemingly towering over both of them even more than normal.

“Wahno! Take CAL to his room now, and get him Drenlin packs.”

“Yes sir!” Wahno said jokingly, lifting CAL to his feet and walking him out of the room.

----------------------------------------

Several Minutes later…

“Is he normally that far off the deep end?”

CAL downed a pack of Drenlin as they rounded another golden corner of the Golden Mile. His gunshot wounds, unnoticeable, as if they never happened.

“Eh, not really. He’s uptight, high-strung, OCD and a pretty big asshole in general. But the guy rarely flies off the handle like that. I guess someone told him what happened because I heard him stomping his way to you from the coffee room.”

“Was it that much of an offense to him to really try and kill me over?”

“No. But Zav has some… personal issues he hasn’t worked through. And you hit one too many of the wrong notes, me thinks. Don’t worry about it too much, man. Naught will have him sorted out by morning.”

Turning another corner into a small nook in the wall, a door stood in front of them. The name: CAL, embedded into the door with glowing blue letters.

“Speaking of morning, here’s your bedroom. Good luck.”

CAL stared at him clearly confused, as he floated away.

“Good luck? What do you mean?”

The door to the bedroom opened behind him and Anaya’s clawed hand grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in. Throwing him across the room and onto the bed, she pounced on top of him, wrapping her legs around his waist and holding arms down.

“What is with everyone manhandling me today?!”

“WARRIOR CAL!” She screamed in his face, tightening her grip on him.

“You dare start wars while I sleep?! Why didn’t you wake me up? We could have battled the pirate as one!”

“You were sleeping so comfortably, and looked so cute. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

She stared angrily at him, as if to force the truth of his words out of his soul. Finally releasing his arms, she wrapped herself around him, hugging him like a baby sloth to their Mother.

“You’re safe, that is what matters. From now on I will only sleep on you. I will not miss the next battle, I will be there to fight next to Warrior CAL, always.”

CAL was about to respond, when he heard the light purrs of her sleeping.

“Seriously? She fell asleep that fast!” CAL sighed heavily, smiling as he put a hand on her head. Running his fingers through her jet black hair.

“Don’t worry Anaya, I get the feeling you and I are going to be glued together like twins for a very long time.”