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Warlord of Winslow
Ch. 120, "Eff This Guy!"

Ch. 120, "Eff This Guy!"

I rolled away from the energy blast, glimpsing two of the Lich’s leaping off the fortifications in opposite directions. When I gained my feet I saw that I had been isolated from my team. I drew my pistols, expecting the remaining Lich to follow up its initial assault. Looking up I saw that it merely stared down at me, as if studying a bug caught under its foot.

After a tense moment where the Lich mean mugged the shit out of me, it turned and drifted away from the edge of the keep. Then a gravelly strained voice echoed in my head.

Come, young Reaper. We have much to discuss.

A large wooden door with cast iron banding noisily creaked open in front of me. I eyed the entryway dubiously, waiting for something to leap out at me. After a few moments when nothing emerged from the doorway I still didn’t budge. Why the fuck would I go into the door the bastard’s opened for me!? I’ve seen this fucking movie before!

“Yeah, fuck that shit!” I pulled my axes from my hips, looking up at the wall of the former City Hall turned dark medieval keep. “Yeah, definitely fuck that shit!”

I spun my axes and launched myself several meters into the air and buried the spike into the wall. Tugging hard on the axe I launched myself upwards repeating the previous action with the opposite hand. Within seconds I had scaled several dozen meters and pulled myself over the edge. The Lich stood at the other end of the rooftop waiting patiently for me.

Well, that wasn’t very sporting, Reaper.

“Seemed like the smarter play.” I responded flippantly.

The Lich cocked it’s evil head to the side before projecting into my head once again, Yes, you are the full package aren’t you? Smart. Aggressive. Brutal. Angry. Always so angry. Aren’t you?

I slid my axes back into their holsters, reached for my handcannon then changed my mind and drew my trusty plasma pistol. “Yeah, story of my life I suppose.” I walked along the edge of the roof with the pistol held low by my side.

There’s more than that, isn’t there, Reaper?

My only response now was to glower menacingly at the undead creature. When I didn’t respond immediately he continued.

You have darkness in you. The kind that would be useful to me.

“And here comes the pitch…” I responded while backing my ass up against the ledge. If boneface wants to yak, well, I’m in no hurry to end him. Besides, something was trying to get my attention. Something out of sight. Below me, in the depths of the keep, a presence was tugging at my perception. If the Lich wasn’t constantly prattling in my head I’d be able to pin it down.

Congratulations! Soul Tracking has increased by 1…..

Oh, that’s what it is. Boneface’s soul is apparently not in his body. Which makes perfect sense, all things considered. The Lich continued to prattle about while I sat on the ledge zeroing in on his soul. I would offer you a place at my side. With our powers combined, we could rule this world. We would be unstoppable. Think about….

Congratulations! Soul Tracking has increased by 1…..

Congratulations! Soul Tracking has increased by 1…..

I realized the droning of the Lich in my head had come to a halt. It turned around with it’s gruesome looking staff held casually to the side, boney head cocked, with ghastly hand extended in an offer I completely ignored.

I stood scratching my neck awkwardly, “Uh, what was that? I zoned out.”

Y-you weren’t paying attention?

“Uh, no, I was actually taking the time to hone in on your soul.” I responded with a predatory grin the Lich couldn’t see beneath my mask.

Before the talkative undead could respond I flicked my plasma pistol up and activated [Mag Dump]. White hot plasma streamed across the space between myself and the Lich, splashing across his chest before he managed to erect a barrier that deflected less than half my shots.

Bone face glared at me with the flaring green orbs he called eyes and roared in my head, INSOLENCE! YOU FOOL! WE CAN RULE THIS WORLD! He flung a bolt of dark green energy as he raged in my head. Power flared between us as my energy tugged for my attention at the interior of the Keep.

I laughed when he called me a fool, “The only foolish thing I can think of would be to found in league with a pathetic undead fuck like you!” I reloaded my pistol while diving away from another blast of necrotic energy. When I gained my feet the Lich was approaching my position post haste. I suppressed his advance with my plasma pistol while drawing the fat 20mm hand cannon into my other hand.

I stared at the glaring Lich that retreated behind a barrier of energy and pulled the trigger on the hand cannon. The sound of heavy rounds smacking loudly into the rooftop surprised the Lich. It’s glowing eyes expanded in realization as the roof fell apart around me and I fell through the ceiling to the floor below.

YOU RUN!?

“NAH! I JUST GOT MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO!”, I yelled back as I mentally cycled through the various vision modes provided by my new mask. As I suspected the conversion of the former City Hall was only half assed. Green flame torches extended from metal framed cubicles casting an eerie light across the mish-mash of architecture.

The hallway I’d dropped into didn’t have an exit to a stairwell so I again quickly fired off another half dozen rounds into the floor at my feet. The supports splintered and gave against my weight almost instantly and I found myself once more dropping through the next floor's ceiling tiles. I looked up as the Lich looked down in confusion.

I felt his soul several more floors below us in the bowels of the former City Hall. The Lich finally caught on to my intent and started slinging every thing he had at me. Death magic slammed into the floor beneath me as I rolled out of sight. When I looked back I saw a smoking hole leading further into the building that made me laugh at the Lich’s panicked reaction.

“THANKS FOR SAVING MY AMMO DUMBASS!” I yelled and dove through the hole to the undead bastard's frustration.

NOOOOOOOO! YOU MUSN’T! He roared in my mind as he began to descend through the holes. Another application of [Mag Dump] had him ducking into a cubicle as I raced for the first stairwell I’d seen since I entered the building on my terms.

I reached the top of the stairwell and leapt to the next landing like I used to do when I was a teenager, taking each flight of stairs in less than a second. Soon the scenery changed from office chic to hell worn medieval keep. The sensation of the Lich’s soul increased in intensity, indicating I was nearing my target.

I reached the bottom of the stairwell to meet a thick iron banded wooden door with the bottom of my boot. The meeting didn’t go well for the door as the hinges screamed in protest and the force of my kick knocked the door over. I was actually a little bit impressed with myself. I guess over 500 Strength is no joke.

Above me the sound of a heavy caliber rifle echoed down through the building as I entered a dark musty room covered in cobwebs and dripping water. Dust still billowed up from where the door had clattered to the ground several feet from the doorway. Across the room sat a trio of large urns that glowed with dark power. The one in the middle tugged at the back of my brain. That’s that talkative dipshits soul, the other two must be his homies.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

I stepped forward then hesitated a moment. “I wonder if I can get some easy levels on these horns?” I asked no myself out loud while rubbing one hand across the broken end of Furcas’ Left Horn. With a shrug I holstered the plasma pistol and pulled both horns from my tac vest. With a single fluid motion I thrust them through the right and left urns, respectively.

The ceramic vases shattered, releasing a whirlwind of fine ash to drift lazily across the room. For a minute I thought nothing had happened, then the building actually shrieked. I turned to see a tornado of dark eldritch energy spiralling towards me. I flinched and raised my hands, still clutching the horns to shield myself. Rather than getting knocked on my ass as I had expected, the energies swerved wide of my person and barrelled in on each horn. With a resounding pop, followed by a brief whoosh of wind, the energy storm ended and a pair of notifications drew my attention.

The Right Horn of Furcas has absorbed one Advaced soul. It has increased 1 level…..

The Left Horn of Furcas has absorbed one Advanced soul. It has increased 1 level…..

“Huh. Cool. Now, which one do I use on fuckface’s urn?”

Before I could make my decision, the ceiling opened up near the entryway in an explosion of rock and mortar. The Lich King fell through the gap at the head of a brilliant holy light. He tried to stand only to find himself wrapped in holy chains of fire. If a skull could be expressive, this undead fuckboy managed it. Pure hatred glared up through the opening, which was quickly replaced with fearful realization. He squirmed in his restraints and snapped his head around to lock on me.

PLEASE! NOOOOO! I- I DON’T WANT TO DIE!

I holstered the Left Horn of Furcas and grabbed the Lich King's Urn while he pleaded with me. Keeg dropped down into the room with me and flashed me a predatory smile when he saw the urn in my hand. “Good, you have the Phylactery. And it looks like you’ve already destroyed the other two?”

“Yeah, I kinda just punched my way down. This fuck was super talkative, so much so my Skill honed in on his soul. Was just about to see if he was worth a level up for the Horn.” I smiled back as the Lich King somehow managed to pale as we casually talked about his impending doom.

“You two youngsters wanna stop yakking and finish this!?” Albert hollered down from above.

“Yeah, fuck this guy!”, I barked.

We looked up through the hole, then down at the gibbering Lich, with an indifferent shrug I plunged the horn into the top of the phylactery. The undead fuckers glowing eyes expanded to the size of softballs. His energy rapidly exited his body to be swallowed by the greedy demon horn in my hand. With a final burst of impotent energy, the Lich’s body relaxed, then crumbled to dust at our feet. We stood in silence for a long moment waiting for something else to happen.

When nothing more jumped out of the dark hall to face us we visibly relaxed and made our way back up to the front of the building. As we did, a flurry of notifications assailed my vision.

Congratulations you have completed a subquest; Lich It and Stick It… You have been awarded 2.5 million XP, 250,000 UMC.

Congratulations! You have advanced to level 9!

Congratulations! You have completed the quest chain: The 5 Challenges of Pestilence. You have been awarded an additional 10,000,000 XP and 1,000,000 UMC.

Congratulations! You have advanced to level 10!

Congratulations! You have completed a hidden objective: Free the Midnight Wolf.

You have been awarded the following;

The Midnight Wolf's Gift (Hybrid) Mythic

[+45 Strength]

[+45 Perception]

[+45 Endurance]

[+45 Charisma]

[+45 Intelligence]

[+45 Agility]

[+45 Luck]

[+45 Wisdom]

Having shown the Midnight Wolf mercy in your battle with her, she has gifted you a specialized cloak made from the hide of her slain mate. The cloak offers attribute bonuses equivalent to your current Total System Level. This cloak is only wearable by Karl Brunett.

Whoah! That’s… I held my hands out and the cloak appeared before me. Keeg and Albert looked back at my latest acquisition in surprise.

“That is an incredibly rare reward! It is very fortuitous! Congratulations, Karl!” Keeg gushed, I could see he really wanted to inspect it closer so I handed it to him with an awkward smile. Albert ran a hand through the thick black fur of the cloak appraisingly.

“This is from our encounter with the Midnight Wolf?” Albert asked knowingly.

I nodded as he inspected the white fringed collar, then handed it back to me.

“One thing about the system, the workmanship is exceptional. Here, you’ll probably want these back, the commie gun was adequate. I definitely need to get one of these Heavy Plasma weapons.”

I took the weapons back with a laugh, “Well, at the start of this mess, bigger bullets were better. And the System improvements make all the pre-System arguments against the AK rather moot.”

“Still don’t feel right.” He shrugged and stepped out of the building. Carly and Stephen were waiting on the curb, looking like they’d gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson. The parking lot was now properly visible and the poisonous mist that had blanketed the city was beginning to lift. I was just about to ask if anyone had recovered their coms when several dozen received message notifications flooded my vision.

“Coms are back!” Carly exclaimed. Stephen brooded. “We already helped ourselves to the loot, by the way.” We looked over at the familiar sight of the open reward chest, with it’s glowing light emitting from within, waiting for the rest of us to claim our own loot. Keeg walked up first and smiled at his reward. A pair of gleaming pauldrons that matched his shield and armor.

Albert went next, pulling out a pair of camo pants. He grunted with satisfaction and stood off to the side. And then it was my turn. A small burnished symbol of a coyote attached to a simple chain appeared floating above the box in front of me. I snatched it out of the air and analyzed it.

Trickster Coyote's Mark (A) Epic

[+25 Wisdom]

[+25 Intelligence]

[+50 Charisma]

[+50 Perception]

The Mark of the Trickster Coyote bestows a great many boons on the wearer, all related to his cunning and trickery.

With a simple grunt of acknowledgement I slipped it over my head, appreciating the effect of the boosted stats. Then I remembered there was one thing I had yet to do.

“Hold on, guys. Almost forgot the real prize.”, I turned back into the City Hall Keep and began wandering the floors until I found what I was looking for on the third floor. The dull, empty looking city core lay on the ground, non functional at the moment.

“Veep, is this thing a loss?”

The little blue assistant that had been largely quiet during the last few days of constant fighting bobbed into view.

“Uh, once you touch it, it should come back to life. Of course, you dissolve it for settlement points. Though, now that we’re connected to the network you aren’t really in need of it. Honestly, you aren’t in need of much. I’ve sorted your messages by priority and assembled a summary for you. Would you like to hear it now?”

The clickety-clack of expensive dress shoes on polished floors echoed up from behind me as I studied the inert city core. I stood as Pestilence entered the room with a wide Cheshire cat-like grin plastered across his face.

“Mister Brunette, I see you’ve completed the challenges. Congratulations.” Then his face turned oddly somber as he continued, “I do regret the losses you incurred. I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t lose more. Your batch of humans are proving to be quite resilient.”

I paused for a moment at his last comment. I wasn’t sure how to respond and I didn’t know for sure if I could trust this walking, talking embodiment of the Apocalypse. Though I did make a deal, and I’d be damned if I was going to be the kind of man that reneged on a deal once it was made. After a long pregnant silence he continued once more.

“So, have you decided on whether or not you wish to drive me off, or accept my offer and install me as the administrator of the city?”

“Is there anyone even left to make it a city?”

“Three thousand four hundred and fifteen souls still live within the bounds of Show Low.” He responded without skipping a beat. I arched an eyebrow at his statement.

“Veep, is that correct?”

He didn’t act a bit perturbed that I would ask for verification. “Actually, close, through the latent interface core I am detecting that a half a dozen more have been added to that number. The poison is lifting and the undead are, you know, fully dead now. I suspect that there are several hundred more people hiding out on the outskirts of the city and the hunting grounds.”

A slowly nodded my head, running my tongue across the back of my teeth, “Ok, what will you do with the city and its people?”

“Like I said, I will manage it in your name. If you run me off, I return to the void to be woken and used in the System’s games at another time. Maybe in a day. Maybe a year. Maybe a thousand! Maybe never!” His speech increased in intensity at the end, he turned and almost spat in anger. He clearly had a grudge against the System, and if I were in his position, I probably would too.

“Fuck it, it’s all yours. If I find out you’re treating these people poorly though…” I let the threat hang idly in the air as I picked up the core. It came to life as soon as I touched it, allowing me to claim ownership of the city and add it to my growing kingdom. I set Pestilence as the administrator, accepted his thanks, then sent a message out to Junipher, letting her know I would be home for dinner. And by dinner, I meant her!