The journal Niel was tasked to keep sits on his desk in front of him. He's failed to write anything for three nights straight. Now it's Sunday evening and it's looking like three will turn into four. It's not that Niel can't think of anything to write—he has plenty of negative thoughts on his mind—but is it worth the space on the page? Any person would say yes, Niel included, but the lab... he can't get them out of his head. It feels like a dark shadow. Ginormous. It tells him he's nothing more than a weapon, that rage and apathy are all he needs to feel; nothing else matters. How he feels doesn't matter. Not before that incident. Undeserving after. The guilt doesn't scream, it's a long, drawn-out whisper.

He hears the support around him. He knows he's not alone. The whisper drowns out everything until all that's left is guilt. Niel puts pen to paper and writes that he can't think of anything to say.

>>>>>>

This is their last week of volunteering here, so if Niel wants to help Rosa somehow, he needs to make these last three days count. He gets lucky and catches Rosa in a lonely hallway early.

"How was your weekend?" Niel asks, trying to sound a little more chipper than usual. He's hoping it'll rub off on her a bit, but the attempt is quickly shown to be in vain.

"It was... okay." From her morose tone, it doesn't sound okay. "I hung out with Liam again."

"How did that go?"

"We had fun. Went to a rock climbing place and then had lunch. Almost felt like a date."

Niel plants his back against the wall so he's sidelong with Rosa. "Was it?"

"...No." Rosa's mood spirals as she vents her inner thoughts. "I have fun when I'm with him, but every time I'm alone I feel miserable. I remember that I can't have him. Why do I need him so much?"

Saying that she needs Liam causes his thinking to pause for a few seconds, grinding the conversation to an uncomfortable silence. It takes a moment, but a handful of words gradually arrange themselves from a distant emotion reflected in Niel's heart.

"Isn't it tiring, holding on this tightly?"

Rosa doesn't look at him. Instead, her vision falls to the floor where the tiles meet the white brick wall. "I don't know what else to do."

"Talk to him about how you feel. Take a break from him. This isn't going to improve or go away until you let go."

A look of painful consideration spreads across her face like oil.

"I... can't do that."

Despite her pain, she still refuses to let go. A part of him thinks he should take his own advice, too. With nothing more to say on this, Niel tries lightening the mood by bringing up other topics he's heard of over the weekend. Their conversation is short-lived as he swiftly runs out of things to talk about, but he is successful at raising their spirits if only by a little.

The lack of things to hold his attention keeps Niel's mind facing inward as the day proceeds. Each second that passes is more time lost for Rosa. If he fails to make an impact this week, then he'll need a contingency plan. How can he meet up with her without drawing attention? How can he even contact her on her days off? He's forced off of this train of thought as his usual time with Elliot arrives faster than he expects.

"How has your weekend been, Mr. Torres?" Niel asks after stepping into the inpatient room.

"Eh, just the same-old same-old. Weekends don't mean much when you're here twenty-four seven."

"I'm... sorry to hear that."

"Well, at least my kids visited more often than they usually do, though that isn't saying much. Hell, you've been seeing me more consistently than they do, ha ha!"

Niel hopes for Elliot's sake that the last part was a joke. The ever-growing collection of cards, decorations, and children's animal doodles on a desk to the side suggests that it is, at least. The pair get into their conversations ranging from their weekends to the state of the city, and then Niel listens to more stories of Elliot's past. Many are triumphant tales from his so-called 'glory days' or humorous scenarios from misadventures past, but the stories touching on previous relationships draw his thoughts back to Rosa, and it makes Niel scatterbrained and unfocused. And, of course, it grows to show on the surface.

"You look like you got something on your mind," Elliot observes after Niel misses yet another key point in a story. "You've been an ear for me all this time, let me see if I can't be one for you. Tell me what's going on."

Niel is unsure of this. If giving personal advice to patients is against the rules (one he more-than-likely broke already), then he imagines airing out your grievances to a patient is breaking another. Diligence is telling him to lie and keep his problems to himself, but Elliot seems adamant about this and their session is running out of time.

"I have... this friend," Niel says against his better judgment. He didn't even fully think this through—his words came out mostly unimpeded. "She's been friends with this guy for a while—has feelings for him, but he doesn't reciprocate. Now it hurts her to be around him, she's miserable without him, and she doesn't want to upset him by telling him this. It's gotten to the point where she's burning out from her job."

Elliot's eyes light up briefly like this is a massive revelation for him, but he quickly tempers himself again. "It sounds like she has a case of dishonesty."

"I... don't quite follow."

"It's not other people we lie to the most; it's ourselves. Lies can be comforting, and the small ones tend to not be very damaging. When these small lies build up for a long time, though, they become more painful than soothing. It's just like bottling up your feelings until it bursts. I think that's what's happening to your friend, plus some mismanaged rejection muddying the waters. It may hurt, but my best advice for her is to talk things over with this guy, and then maybe break things off for a while. I think that's her best chance at moving on."

This is almost exactly what Niel suggested Rosa do today, just told with a different perspective. Their time is up for today, so Niel gives his thanks for the advice and heads out again. If he can hammer this point to Rosa, maybe he can convince her to take the advice and open up to Liam. However, Rosa is proving to be elusive, and he can't find an audience with her in time before he has to go home.

Once they all get home, Mabel and Gabriel are quick to whisk Illia back out of the door and to the car. Niel has no idea why. No, wait, he does. Her glasses are probably in. He sits on the couch and lets curiosity fuel his patience. After some time, the three return again, and Illia's appearance is noticeably different—sitting on the bridge of her nose are glasses silver and black accented with yellow.

"They look good on you," Niel compliments after he stands to have a closer look. Illia flaunts her new spectacles with excitable pride.

"For someone who was scared to get them, she's sure acting like a kid on Christmas!" Mabel comments with a chuckle, killing Illia's enthusiasm. Thumping footsteps are heard descending the stairs, revealing themselves to be the other two kids after hearing the commotion.

"Oh my god! You look so cute!" Lydia practically squeals as she races closer.

"Can you see better now?" Reed asks.

Illia nods with a large smile on her face.

"She wasn't so sure at first, but she changed the moment she saw how clear everything became up close," Gabriel says with a chuckle.

"Welcome to the world of normal vision!" Reed jokes.

And what a wondrous world it is. It's something so simple, yet Illia is having the time of her life seeing things up close. She looks goofy at times, putting her face up against every surface—Reed says she looks like a dog sniffing for a bone, and for once Lydia agrees with him—but the advent of eyesight is not dismissed easily. Niel finds her later plucking away at het kalimba again, this time reading sheet music at much greater ease. She sounds much better at playing, too.

Her excitement continues through Tuesday and into Wednesday, where not only is she still gleefully wearing her glasses, but she's also brought her kalimba to play for the patients and visitors. Reginald explains that Lydia suggested the idea and got her permission to do so on Monday. Niel is keen to listen and watch from a distance, but something unusual happens: Elliot wants to talk to him. This in itself is far from atypical, but the timing is; this is more than three hours early. He ascends the stairs to investigate.

"Quite a bit earlier than you were expecting, huh?" Elliot comments.

"Quite. You must be eager to talk today, Mr. Torres."

"That's because I've got something important to tell you." Elliot sits up straighter in his bed, far less burdened by his illness than he was during their first meeting. "This'll be our last day to talk. Doctors' say I'm good enough to leave early Friday morning."

Well, this is a genuine shock. "Oh! I'm glad you're well enough, then."

"I have you to thank for that," Elliot says. "If it weren't for your motivating words and your frequent visits, I probably would have left before I could be treated properly. So thank you."

Niel thinks he's getting too much credit, but he's appreciative of the kind words. "If I made someone's day better, then I've fulfilled my role as a volunteer. It's what I'm here for."

It feels as if a weight previously unknown to them has been lifted from the room, leaving the air—and their conversations—light and free, perhaps even melancholic. No old stories, no thinly wrapped woes, just two people talking about whatever comes to mind. Before either of them know it, their final visit comes to an end, and they give each other one last goodbye and a well-wish for the future.

Back down on the first floor, Niel takes a moment to refresh with a drink of water in the volunteer's lounge, and he finds Reed sitting back and watching the minutes go by.

"Nothing going on?" Niel asks.

"Nothing. Lydia's got the gift shop and Illia's playing music. You'd think that means more for us to do, but nope."

"I hear you."

There hasn't been a whole lot for them to do, even including the menial tasks. On the topic of (not) being busy, there's something that Niel has been meaning to ask Reed but never remembered to do until now.

"What was that important thing you were busy with on Friday?"

Reed doesn't know what he's talking about at first, but he soon clues in. "Oh, that. A patient had a medical emergency and collapsed. Doctors got me to help—nothing major, just by grabbing a few things."

It almost seems like Reed is trying to undersell himself, unfortunately on par with how he's been acting lately. "I'm surprised you never said anything about it."

"Didn't feel right to. Y'know, with privacy and all."

Niel believes Reed, but he isn't sure he's being told the whole story.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"You could make a good doctor or nurse," Niel suggests.

"I knew you were going to bring it to here."

"Bring what to here?"

"The conver..." With how stone-faced Niel is, Reed can't tell if he's joking or not. "...Are you... being serious?"

"Of course I am. What do you mean?" Niel's voice is drenched in a level of sarcasm that's normally alien to him. Without it, Reed wouldn't have caught on.

"Dude, it's great you're developing a sense of humour, but it's seriously scary how I can't tell if you're joking or not now."

"Isn't it called deadpan, or something?"

"It's not quite deadpan humour, but you're getting there."

Perfect. Reed's spirit has been raised a bit. Now it should be easier to talk to him about the main topic.

"Seriously though, I think you would make a good doctor or nurse."

"No, I really don't think I—"

"You haven't even begun to try. How can you know you'll be bad at it if you haven't even gone to school for it?"

"Dude, I know what my limits are. It won't work out for me."

"And I know you look down on yourself as much as I do on myself."

This catches Reed's attention. But before Niel can press this angle further, the door to the lounge opens, revealing a parched Reginald.

"Hello, skippers! Having a good chat, are we?" he says.

Not an opportunity Niel was expecting, but one he'll take. "Yeah. We were talking about maybe going to med or nursing school."

"Oh! With the volunteer work you've done, I'd recommend nursing. Though, I am a bit biased on that."

"Oh, right. Weren't you a nurse before?" Reed asks. This is news to Niel.

"Indeed I was! And for nearly fifty years, at that. It was getting a bit hard in my old age, so I ended up retiring not ten years ago. Couldn't stay away forever, though. I decided to come back again as a volunteer."

"Reed's been having trouble thinking of a career path," Niel says more honestly. "I suggested nursing or being a doctor."

"I think nursing would suit you to a T. I've seen the work you've done, and not just from this summer, either," Reginald says to Reed. "You really pull your weight around here, especially during that situation on Friday. I have no doubt you'd do well as a nurse."

Reed's expression has changed dramatically from Reginald's praise; now an encouraged smirk is fighting off the previous self-defeating frown. Reginald fetches himself a bottle of water and guzzles it considerably faster than they were expecting him to.

"I hope I was of some help!" the old man says as he leaves the lounge. Reed looks at Niel with a mixture of pride and annoyance on his face.

"You had to say something, didn't you?" he complains.

"It's not just me who thinks you'd be good at this. Besides, you're smiling."

"You would be too if you were getting showered with praise!" Reed tries rubbing his face to ebb his grin.

"Out of everything at school, you enjoyed science and chemistry, and you pull your weight here in a practical environment. It's like Reginald said: you're cut out for this. Why not take it a step further when you can?"

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

Niel walks past Reed, playfully poking him in the side as he goes. He wears a small smile of his own. "Someone has to care about you."

He gets a bottle of water and hastily drinks it as Reed is left to ponder where he stands. When Niel suggests they get back to work and moves to leave the lounge, Reed stops him.

"I'll take chemistry and biology for Grade 12, and then I think I'll look into nursing school."

The small smile grows into a full, proud grin. "I know you'll do well." An alien feeling of confidence surges within Reed from seeing Niel beam like this, and he thinks about how far the dark-Mute boy has come. The pair return to work with their spirits higher than ever.

First Elliot, and now Reed. Two of his three concerns have now been abated. All that's left is Rosa. He keeps an eye out for her while completing odd jobs around the hospital confidently reciting what he'll say to her in his head, but she's nowhere to be found. He asks one of the nurses about this, and much to his surprise, he's told that Rosa took today off. His plans are in the wind now, and the day ends quietly as a result.

Despite the surge of self-confidence yesterday, Niel wakes up Thursday morning feeling... less than well. His mind feels cluttered and fogged and he just wants to go back to bed. Why do his emotions flip like this so suddenly? And why is it always for the worse? What is wrong with him? He questions if he's even ready to talk to Medova again, though he thinks that regardless of the answer, it would happen anyway. Niel forces himself to get ready.

After a brief checking-in, Medova wants to do what Niel doesn't: go over his journal. His struggle to write down what's on his mind never became any better over the working week. Medova is underwhelmed by the lack of content within, but she understands and doesn't shame him for it. Instead, she guides him to write something by giving him a prompt: memories. Across the span of fifteen minutes, Niel is tasked to write about one or more memories of the lab or a different unpleasant memory. The more he writes down, the better. He's hesitant at first with these memories being extremely uncomfortable to recall, but with gentle encouragement from Medova, he finds the strength to begin. One word becomes two, two becomes four, four becomes eight, and soon he has entire paragraphs written down.

"It was... like a cork became unstuck," Niel comments.

"It might be easier to write now, with it gone," Medova says. "Would you like to share with me what you've written?"

It isn't easy for him, but Niel reads out his account of the abuses he suffered in the lab. Verbal, physical, emotional. He was to be the perfect weapon for them, so he was to be perfect. Anything less was a failure, and it was made certain that he felt every failure. He describes how he was groomed to not feel joy or sorrow, or to think for himself. The cold, calculating mind of apathy, and the seething rage to see any task through, no matter how depraved, were all he needed. The sleepless nights, the never-ending fatigue, the incessant nightmares spawned by guilt arising from a single, unrevealed event. He still has those nightmares, even now.

"Do you remember what happens in these nightmares?" Medova asks.

"I do."

Niel takes a long, slow breath. The hesitancy is audible.

"I'm in a city I destroyed. I don't remember doing it, but I know it was me who did it. Then, there's this... giant. As tall as a mountain... Bearing down on me."

"Do you know who, or what this giant is?"

"My guilt." This time, there's no hesitation. "Every time I wake up, it's all I feel."

While he has it with him, the Warden's Key remains unequipped and lying on the table during their sessions. The glass bulb is unmistakably near capacity, and both of them know it. Niel has long since run out of courage to well up, but yet he musters up a bit more.

"I've been scared to use my Dust, lately. Ever since that... attack."

"You're afraid you'll hurt someone."

"I... I think I'm scared of myself, too."

This takes them smoothly along to the second half of the session: putting theory into practice. If his Dust has become a stressor, then she wants him to use it to practice the de-stressing techniques she's taught him, killing two birds with one stone. It takes another confidence boost from Medova and plenty of breathing, but he's eventually able to summon a swathe of Dust that drips from his trembling hand. These kinds of exercises continue until their time runs out. Before they leave, Medova reminds Niel to continue his writing, and she expresses the importance of him being honest with himself, just like he was today.

Niel ventures upstairs to return the journal to its place on his desk, then sits on his bed. He wants to be alone for a while. Despite Medova helping him, he's still scared to use his Dust; his hand still trembles at the thought. Why is he still so hesitant? He can count the number of times he's used his Dust in the past month on a single hand, and this has led to the Warden's Key filling significantly faster than he expected. In just another day or two, it'll be full. He'll have no choice but to spend it then. It's not like it's an impossibility or anything, but the thought alone makes his heart palpitate. Niel glances over to his journal again—this is exactly what he should be writing down. Though reluctant, he sits down at his desk and flips to a new page, letting graphite materialize his thoughts.

>>>>>>

Today is their last day of volunteering, and Niel still doesn't have a proper plan for Rosa nor a contingency should he fail to help her. Regardless, he looks for her and hopes she's present today. With luck, he finds her very early into his shift, and... something's off about her. He isn't sure what, but the way she carries herself is different. Troubled, though lighter—if Niel had to put it to words. Rosa watches his approach.

"Morning, Niel," she greets, her words echoing a mood burdened by change.

"Good morning," Niel responds. "Did something happen recently? You were absent Wednesday and you seem different today."

"Ah, that." Rosa silently looks out towards the ever-crowding waiting room, unresponsive. Instead of forcing an answer out of her, Niel decides to bring up a different topic.

"Why did you choose to be a nurse?"

This seems to snap her out of a daze. She slowly registers the question and formulates her answer. "I wanted to help people and see them smile. When I became a nurse, I realized there isn't much of that happening here..." Her gaze draws Niel's eyes to the nervous and anxious sitting in the room's rowed seating. "But when they're healthy again and well enough to leave, I feel like I've done my job. Made a difference."

The first and last parts sit with Niel the most. Helping people, seeing them smile, and making a difference. Leaning against the wall, they both stand in silence, watching.

"...I spoke to Liam on Tuesday. About how I feel," she says drearily. Niel looks up at her with full attention. "We... We're taking a break from each other so I can focus on myself."

This is... exactly what Niel was hoping to achieve. Rosa can now move on, and yet this outcome doesn't feel gratifying like the others.

"Is this for the best?" Niel questions.

"I don't know. This is what Liam suggested we do. He didn't want me to keep feeling how I was. But, it feels like I'm losing a friend."

"If he said it was a break, then you can always see him later when you feel better."

"I suppose..."

So, that's it, then. Niel accomplished what he wanted to in these three weeks of volunteering. Rosa, Elliot, and Reed—all situations he wanted to lend a hand in. Did he do a good job? He doesn't know, but now it's done. Though, this result with Rosa feels a little... spontaneous. She rejected what he was saying at first, but now this has happened. Did she just have a change of heart? Or... That look Elliot gave him on Monday crosses his mind. That happened when he told him about Rosa's situation, and Rosa's talking to Liam happened the day after. Could it be that...?

"Rosa?"

"Yes?"

"Strange question, but..." She looks at Niel almost as if she already knows what he's going to say. "What's Liam's last name?"

Niel can hear her sharply but quietly inhale a breath before straightening the hesitation out of herself.

"Torres. Why?"

Now it's Niel's turn to be shocked, and he tries to hide it from his face the best he can. The son Elliot was referring to was Liam this whole time.

"I'm sorry, I need to be somewhere now," Rosa says as she walks off, leaving Niel alone.

* * *

That scheming...! When Liam approached her out of the blue already knowing about how she felt, she knew he had to be involved, and now Niel just confirmed it. He isn't due to leave yet, and she never saw Liam nor his sister enter the hospital. Rosa marches up to Elliot's room and enters, skipping the formalities.

"Ivy! How are you feeling?" he greets in her place. He stands by the window all alone.

"You were the one who told Liam about me," she sneers.

"But of course! Jealousy and heartbreak don't become you." With this conversation quickly becoming serious, Elliot puts the breaks on his boisterous grandstanding. "You're like family to us, Ivy—but something had to give, whether it was your time with my son or your health."

"But why drag Niel into this?"

"Let's just say that a third party tends to be more... honest."

"What did he tell you?"

"Everything I had already suspected, but he did confirm it for me. He never told me your name or anything. Kept it as confidential as he could. I could tell it was wearing on him, too." Hearing this causes Rosa to sigh and begin pacing around the room. "Now, I do admit I did tell him a few tiny white lies to keep him coming back. He's a sucker for sympathy."

"But you didn't have to, did you?"

"I suppose I didn't have to, but it doesn't hurt to make things more believable, at least not in this case. The ends justify the means, and all." Elliot takes a step towards Rosa, causing her to stop. "You weren't giving any of us much of a choice. You need to be more honest with yourself, Ivy. If you're hurting, you need to say it. You can't help others if you can't help yourself. Liam will always be here, ready to reconnect when you've got your life together."

Rosa looks down at the floor feeling no different than a scolded child.

"...Okay."

Elliot resumes his theatrics to try and cheer her up. "Alright, I think I've kept you long enough. You're a busy woman, got people to treat. Plus Liam's on his way, and that would be a bit awkward, now wouldn't it?"

"Why are you like this?" Rosa questions, bothered by his dramatic demeanour.

"If I wasn't, you'd be questioning what's wrong with me."

* * *

Niel is passing by the waiting room after completing a small bit of filing when he sees that a group of parents and their children are gathered around a set of close tables. At first, he thinks it's Illia with her kalimba again, but on closer inspection, he realizes that it's a nurse teaching how to fold origami. He thinks it's nice how they're entertaining the children in a stressful place like this. A parent tugging on the tail of a paper crane to move its head makes their child smile. Rosa's words about seeing people smile enter his head again, and he becomes inspired to do something. Medova's teachings help to give him courage. Niel chooses a spot within view but far enough away to not be considered a factor, and with a steadying breath, he unleashes an invisible cloud of Dust.

A very young girl is playing with one of the cranes in her mother’s lap when she feels it tug ever-so slightly away from her, causing it to fall from her tiny hand. The mother quickly notices this and picks it up for her daughter.

“It moowved,” the young girl babbles.

“Yes, it moves,” the mother echoes as she tugs theatrically on the crane’s tail, causing its wings to flap. But when she stops pulling its tail, she realizes that the wings are still moving.

“It’s moowving!” the young girl repeats as her mother stares in astonishment.

“Who’s… who’s doing this?” the mother asks around the table, but no one is capable of giving an answer. All they can do is stare at the crane flapping on its own. Suddenly, one by one, more cranes begin to move their wings until they all hop off of the table and take flight.

Every visitor, every soon-to-be patient, and every nurse and doctor watches in awe as a flock of paper cranes with a life of their own slowly and gracefully fly around the room. The children point and cheer, the adults stand in wonderment, and the staff question whose Mute is responsible. Reginald is lured from somewhere by the commotion and he watches in reverence as the cranes dance. Rosa looks on from the other side of the room knowing who's responsible. Illia has known for a while that Niel has been avoiding using this Dust, and she looks at him with elated pride.

Every time he's helped someone, he wasn't sure what the reason was. Now Niel is certain. He does it simply because he wants to help. Is there more to it? Probably. There's still so much more he doesn't understand about how he feels. But he knows the baseline, and he knows he's been running away.

Going forward, he'll try to be more honest with himself.