Why does it take so long for things to get going? It feels like it’s been forever since I first found things out but it has really only been three years. There's hardly anything to do at home and no one for me to play with, everyone is either too old, too young or unsettled by me. I’m not sure why I disturb people, I’m pretty sure I have the toddler act down pat but no matter what I can’t seem to get a positive reaction out of people. The only people I can interact with is my parents but my act is not that effective on them, I think they know I’m faking it but how much they know I’m not sure. Dad is the one staying home looking after me while Mom works because she's the expert when it comes to the non-magic world. Dad and I play a few of times a day in between his chores and complaining at how easier it would be with magic. At first we did simple things but they quickly got boring, at the moment our go-to game is connect four. The main challenge I have with the game is not winning but losing with style. I’m trying to make it look like I’m actually trying to win while losing most of the time. Dad sometimes attempts to let me win but I refuse to win those on principle alone, there's no fun when there's no challenge.
“Would you stop doing that you almost had that one.” Dad mocked when I reset the game on the brink of winning.
“Must be fair.” I said firmly, he had caught on to my dislike for his game throwing a while ago and found it funny how he could change the game into one with the aim to lose.
“It was fair, I didn’t cheat.” The annoying smirk clear on his face.
“You want to lose.”
“So do you, why do you want to lose hmm?”
“It’s not fun.”
“You sure? I’m having lots of fun.”
Oh the things I want to say but can’t, pretending to be a 3 year old can be so frustrating sometimes. Since my words don’t look they are going to help me against Dad and his mocking lets see how he likes a piece to that smug face of his. The sudden act of aggression catches Dad off guard for a second and we briefly sit there facing each other.
“So that's how it is, well two can play at that game.” he says before we start peppering each other with the pieces. It quickly becomes clear that I’m not winning, despite his throws being light, they are numerous.
‘Ok that's enough, no more’. I bring my arms up to shield myself but Dad just changes the game to trying to get past my defences.
‘This is not working, I need to get away’. I get up and make a break for the door of the lounge room only to be knocked flat by a big hit to the back. Turns out upon seeing me trying to run Dad decides to lob a pillow after me with a bit more force than intended. I lay there for awhile on the verge of tears, attempting to calm down.
“You ok there Damian?” Luckily Dad realised something was wrong when I didn’t get up straight away otherwise I would've gone over the edge if he tried to continue playing. I get up since there's no point sulking on the ground when I have a better spot but before leaving I make sure to give Dad an upset glare.
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“Ah ok.” Dad responded my glare with a face of someone who had caused an accident.
I go to my room and crawl into my sulking spot under my bed, dragging my pillow and blanket in after me. My sulking spot came about during the first few times I got pushed to the edge by my parents, at first I would just find a corner to sulk but they would start talking to me after awhile and I wasn’t in the mood for chit-chat. I came up with the idea of going under the bed when I got in big trouble for trying to steal Dad’s wand and really didn’t want to talk with my parents lest I say something I might regret. My parents and I get along well but every so often our interests conflict on things mainly due to the difference between who they think I am and who I really am. I understand that I am a little kid and will be treated as such but sometimes I just want to be treated as my true age. I could go by the saying and act my age to maybe get the treatment I want but by doing so will give up things I’m not ready to give up. My thoughts are interrupted by the appearance of Dads face at the end of the bed.
“Truce?” He says revealing a plate of freshly cut apple slices with lemon juice and setting it down on the floor just before the foot of the bed. I go back and forth over whether to accept but in the end fresh apple slices win out and I accept his appeasement. I crawl to the foot of the bed and drag the plate of food under, not yet ready to leave my sulking spot.
“You have got to use your words more, say when you’ve had enough instead bottling it up until it gets too much.” Says Dad as he sits down against one of the bed legs.
“It's not just this time either, your mother and I aren’t as oblivious as you think, we notice your barely keeping it together and it hurts us that you don’t open up to us and instead come here.”
‘Damn I’ve really gotten used to crawling under here haven't I?’
“It's good that you don’t cry over everything but not crying at all is just as bad, your mother and I are here for you so it’s ok to let go sometimes.” I really don’t like these heart to heart moments, whether it’s this life or the last one, They make me feel so guilty. The other person is always asking me to change my ways because it's making them sad and all I can do is sit there and agree while knowing full well I won’t change.
“You understand right Damian?”
A small “Yeah.” is all that comes out from under the bed.
“So can you please make an effort to be more open with us from now on.”
“Ok”
“Good because it’s gotten to the point that your mother was threatening to drag you out from under there if I didn't do something first.” Ah I have really stuffed things up, I gotta fix this somehow. We sat there in uncomfortable silence for awhile, my slices long finished.
“Anyway.” Dad said all of a sudden. “On a brighter note, school will be starting for you in a fortnight's time, maybe interacting with kids your own age will loosen you up a bit.” Finally it’s over, although I didn’t miss that little jab at me. School, one of the things I have been waiting so long for which is kind of ironic since most people can’t wait to leave it. Not that the company of my parents is bad but a change of scenery is long overdue.
“You excited?”
“Can’t wait.”