__CHAT
* NORMAN: ARN74, remember when you told me not to die?
* ARN74: 🤨 get to the point
* NORMAN: Take your own advice. If you mess with Lemmy, you’re going to die.
* ARN74: so?
* NORMAN: What do you mean ‘so’? Are you being difficult, or do you wanna die?
* ARN74: maybe
* NORMAN: …
Norman leant against the elevator wall, heaving out a sigh. He half-heartedly fiddled with the keychain. It almost looked like he was holding the landlord by a leash, which would be kind of funny, but he wasn’t in the mood.
Amy Mini hovered closer. Her tendrils tasted his emotional aura. She gave a squeak, part empathetic, part curious. He wondered if she could sense the details of the chat, or she was responding to some vague sense of his mental state.
__CHAT
* NORMAN: Well, don’t die.
* ARN74: why? you gonna miss me or something?
* NORMAN: 🤔 Yeah, actually.
* ARN74: i don’t like liars
* NORMAN: I’m serious. Don’t die. Please.
* DARCIE222: I second that.
* MUNSTER-VERSER: I kind of want to meet you.
* ENTO_MOLLY: Same.
* ARN74: you really don’t
* ENTO_MOLLY: Also, I’m curious about your anatomy … in a not-quite-creepy way.
* ENTO_MOLLY: Wait, that came out wrong … can I rephrase that?
* ARN74: no. btw when someone tells you you don’t wanna meet them, you should believe them
* WONNA_ONE23: Your antics amuse me, and I think you’re all bark.
* AMBIVALENT_TRENT: … we can only hope
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
* INQU!SIT_R: and you’ve got a simp, so that’s gotta count for something
* ATTACK-OTAKU: (Shamelessly vigorous nodding)
* ARN74: 😌 Dude, my personality is literal Stinkaroo and you have no idea what I look like.
* ATTACK-OTAKU: Don’t care. All Tsunderes are ice queens waiting to be thawed. They’re also cute. It’s a nonnegotiable rule.
* ARN74: not so cute when I bite your head off
* NORMAN: Then just don’t.
* ARN74: You make it sound easy. It’s not.
* NORMAN: I know, but if Amy can do it, so can you. You don’t have to do it alone. We’ll see it through. You’re gonna live, and you’re gonna live a great life. No other options. Let’s talk later. In the meantime, behave yourself.
* ARN74: 😳😒 … Okay, Dad 🙄.
Norman did a double take. He stared long and hard at the chat.
__CHAT
* ARN74: Something wrong? You froze up.
Norman massaged his brow.
__CHAT
* NORMAN: It’s fine. Apparently, this is all going according to plan.
The elevator slowed, approaching a stop. This wasn’t right. Norman knew what it sounded like when floors passed. They hadn’t travelled up enough of them to reach the top.
Mr. Brukup was grinning. Almost giggling. He heard the high-pitched whine of Norman’s flash knuckles powering up. His smile vanished. He looked at Norman. A chill spiked down his spine. Norman was looking back, with knowingly narrowed eyes. Realising it was too late, Mr. Brukup decided to gloat while the gloating was good.
“Did you … really think … the elevator would take you to the top floor?” Mr. Brukup wheezed.
The door peeled open, revealing a room full of landlords. All eyes fell on Norman, Mr. Brukup and Amy Mini. The latter emitted a keening warning as she splayed her tendrils in threat display.
But she was small, and they were many.
Norman cleared his throat, flashing a nickel slick smile. “Gentlemen, Amy is in the middle of destroying your boss. When this is over, you’ll need someone to put in a good word for you. That’s why your head of security and I have come to a-”
“KILLLLLL HIMMMMM!” Mr. Brukup cried before passing out, having used what little strength he had left.
Norman rolled his eyes.
The landlords converged on him.
He raised his fists, lining up the shots.
.
"̶̛͈̒̏̌͌RED̴̖̱̙͖̖͋͆̏̈̎ TĬ̴̙̹̦̱̰̆͂͘D̶͔͔̊̓E,̴͕͍͉̄͆͠"̵̤̰̖̍̾
.
Amy boomed outside.
The landlords forgot all about Norman. Dread dawned upon them like the rising sun. Amy had spoken. What did she mean?
They heard the sound, like waves roaring across the ocean. Looking out the window, the landlords saw it coming: a tsunami of horrors raging in across the cityscape. Murmurs of dismay turned to cries. Some landlords even got on their knees, begging for mercy from on high.
“Hey,” Norman whispered from behind.
A landlord turned. He found himself staring down the flash knuckles’ light bulbs. At point blank, the damage would be horrific. He couldn’t bring himself to make a move.
“Good,” approved Norman as he slipped the keychain from the landlord’s grip. “Wanna see a trick?”
Norman tossed the keychain like a dart. It plunged into a nearby landlord, who squealed as he shriveled. The other landlords whirled to see Norman and the ‘culprit’ standing side by side.
“K-kill him?” stammered the implicated landlord.
“KILL DEM BOTH!” another shouted.
“N-no! Just him!” bleated the scapegoat.
“DEM BOOTTHHH!” bellowed the other.
Judging from the gremlin screams chiming in, everyone else agreed. Norman simpered like the cat that ate the canary.
The doomed little landlord stuttered. “B-but … I didn’t-!”
“Shush. We’re squadmates now,” Norman sassed with a predatory grin.