Where was I again...oh, I remember. Kind of got sidetracked...anyway back to realty, limbo, or wherever I am.
"YOU BITCH!!!"
"Did I ask you for any reprieve for a new life or give you any inkling that I wanted one."
"Kill me this instant to make up for your dumb blunder while trying to be MISS GOODY TOO SHOES!"
I hear loud giggles and feel a blast of air blow towards me.
BOOM!
I smell a pungent aroma while I fall down on my back.
Bitch: "Who said I am a Miss and why would I have you leave when we have just met. Also, could you stop using the profane language of your old world in my domain or at least towards me. It is highly demeaning after all and also sweetie pie, not to be corny or anything but I am barefoot. I apologize for any smells that I may emanate (she or whatever it is giggles)."
I am gawking while staring at several caramel colored huge digits splaying back and forth of a massive foot that is in front of me. This it or whatever toes is as big or if not bigger than I am. I stare at the folds of wrinkles of the foot while the toes are splaying back and forth. I try to process my thoughts.
Hmm...okay the possibilities
* possibility 1: I am having an awkward dream
* possibility 2: I have gone insane
* possibility 3: somebody is using a hologram to jest at me
* possibility 4: this must be the afterlife that for some reason has messed up dimensions
* possibility 5: I am just in a screwed situation.
It will be a combination with possibility 5 anyway.
I keep hearing the sound of thunderous giggles as I am have a dialogue about my perception of judgement in my head(I just noticed something...I stopped using profane language. This "it" is screwing with my vocabulary and constitutional right. I am not scared or anything, so why did I stop using the heavenly language I so love. Fine! It is settled. If "it" pisses me off...I will broaden "its" horizon with the beloved English language)
It: " You are hilarious(giggles). You know I can read your mind, right. Oh, you do not believe me? Well, I will answer your cumbersome question you were trying to exasperatedly find an answer for (giggles). It is possibilities 4 and 5. Could you stop gawking at my body please (it giggles and I blush). Oh my(giggles), it seems you are sporting a fascination towards me, you know I am a goddess right, I am a little too much for you, do you not think so sweetie (it giggles while I am starting to feel the emotion anger creep up on me) Do not get mad at me sweetie pie, I will get distraught (giggles)." I was getting ready to open my mouth to speak, but I realize it would be a waste of energy.
What did it mean when it said I am sporting a fascination for its body...SHIT(at least my vocabulary is back) this is embarrassing, my cock is erect...wait a second, cock?
I am naked(giggles)...
YOU IT/BITCH, WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE!
WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!!!
YOU VULGAR PLEBIAN GODDESS. GIVE ME SOME CLOTHES!!!
It/bitch starts roaring with laughter while her foot is thumping against the ground causing vibrations that keep undulating and keeps casting me into the air. This is the so called goddess? It just seems like an overgrown contradicting female that refuses to admit it is one to me. As soon as I uttered those thoughts, the thumping and vibrations came unto an abrupt stop.
Something tells me to look up. I cast my gaze over to "her" natural toenails, up along her foot, past the platinum or whatever anklet it seems to be, up past a thick(she must be fat, why does my body start shivering...whatever I will ignore it) calf, and toward a silhouette of a turquoise dress (she actually has a flat stomach it seems like, but her calf...what is she some prissy...female that only walks on her toes to look down on peasants...well at least she is not fat and I am not by any means a peasant). I see two huge turquoise meteors falling towards me and what appears to be a giant hand.
The world as I know it goes dark.
Shit! I probably have fainted...
A flood of light enters my vision while a serene voice penetrates my mind saying, " Your physical body is dead, so how could you faint little man (at least she stop calling me sweetie pie, but it does make sense because I am probably in a spiritual body or astral projection of my conscious). Ooh you are pretty intelligent aren't you (this female is undermining my IQ, of course I recognized her hand enveloped me in its darkness as she lifted me higher for a more comfortable dialogue) I kind of got upset that a mere mortal was telling me off with such vulgar words. I am actually quite shocked that you are not being suffocated by my aura...it must be due to you having a higher gods conscious...hmmm. Anyway, I told you I am not a female (she has issues, must be confused about her sexuality)...anyway we are not that intimate yet, so there is no use for you to entertain that subject (she is blushing). As I was mentioning before we steered off the main focus, I am reincarnating you....
(Me: what did she mean by yet...) Hold Up...I do not want to be reincarnated...grant me the grace of death I so desire because I have grew bored of my mundane existence. Plus, I do not care if you are a goddess, do not meddle in my affairs. You have overstepped your boundary intervening with my bliss peace...
(Goddess: Why does the atmosphere suddenly give me chills) I am giving you the benefit of the doubt for talking to me as if I am some plebian. I should have introduced myself, but your previous demeanor made me forget my civilities. I am the sovereign that governs the gods and goddesses or the ruler of the gods and dimensions. I go by many names, but I will allow you to call me...
(Me) I do not care to know your name. What purpose does it serve me, since I am about to die. An another point, you do not bless me with anything, I am the one that decides whether you are worthy enough for me to acknowledge your existence. Now, I will stretch the little patience that I have left to ask you once more, "Can you grant me death?"
(Goddess: He is so unsettling. he is the size of my finger nail, yet makes it feel as if our positions are reversed. He needs to know who is in charge. Next time we meet I will shove him in my...)....As I was saying before you rudely interrupted, my name is Raynar and no, I can not grant you death just yet. I have already started the process of highlighting a route to a dimension that entails the deva world for your spirit can traverse to.
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(Me) I apologize for my ignorance, but what are you hinting at?
(Raynar) Sigh...You will have to wait until you traverse to the deva world and granted your new life in a physical body to find away to embrace the death you desire so much and also find a way back into the nothingness realm, for even my authority is sparingly there. I apologize for inconveniencing you; however, this predicament may actually be of an advantage for you.
(Me) Elaborate.
(Raynar: I am starting to think that he has forgotten I am the sovereign of all gods and goddesses) ...What I am suggesting is simple, but first I would like you to answer this question: Why do you want to die?
(Me) Did I not already answer this question...(she has a few screws loose) I am simply fed up with my mundane existence.
(Raynar veins pop up on her forehead) Well isn't that wonderful, you just need an exciting life that will continuously bring you new experiences to entertain you.
(Me) You do realize that I was the prince of my planet and I am pretty sure that I saw all that life had to offer. You are sure adamant about this reincarnation thing...what is in it for you? (I furrow my eyebrows)
(Raynar) You are too weak an existence to know of what I request of you as of right now (Weak? Yeah, I will show you weak. Put me in your lap under your dress for I can bring the thunder and rain. Betcha, won't utter the word weak again. Why is she fidgeting and appear to have gleams have sweat on her forehead?) Uhm Ah gasp..., but yes I will eventually need your help; however, the assistance that you will provide for me will be awhile from now.
(Me) I knew you were fishy and I am not talking about your smell(she gasps) You purposefully inconvenienced my death because I had the potential to do you a favor later on down the road.
Wow!
You moved up in my eyes!
You are no longer a bitch, but.....
YOU ARE A TWO-FACED SUCCUBUS BITCH(veins are protruding on both of our foreheads, but she slick is beautiful)
(Raynar: I have wasted about two eons of facial expressions and emotions on him!) YOU URCHIN!!!
(Me) Bitch, do I look like the pineapple under the sea or the little mermaid to you and also for a celestial entity, you sure have a broad influx of emotions.
(Raynar: Breath deeply, you need him and his...musings)... The deva world will be the destination of your reincarnation and it has all the mythical creatures that were in your previous world and more. Also, it is a world of cultivation, meaning the advancements of qi and magic or simply put, essence. The deva world is one of the few dimensional worlds in natural creation that offers the possibility to become a god. I can promise you there will be plenty of excitement. Also the task I request of you....you probably will not have the capability of doing perhaps until about ten thousand years from now.
(Me) I can barely hear you through your gritted teeth (her hand gradually starts to close). I am joking....joking(I chuckle), yet this arrangement does sound interesting; however, anyone that irks me in my new life shall die. So, I probably will not be a good champion for you, since blood and death shall always accompany me.
(Raynar: He is definitely insane, yet he has such a noble bearing and aura.) You will not have to worry about that, plus you are not my champion. This is not one of those satire novels of your past world. I am looking for a companion to stay with me....I will give you two presents for your new life:
* The Gift of Tongues for you will already be able to read, talk, and write in any language
* A Immortals Cultivation Technique
These will assist you gre....
(Me) So, you want me to be your future husband. At least you are admitting you are female now. These two gifts are suppose to be my dowry, I guess...but doesn't it suppose to be the other way around...I never really wanted to get married, but since it is you, I will manage just this once.
Anyway the Immortals Cultivation Technique, I do not want it. You yourself are not all powerful, so why would I want something that does not present me with what I want. Explain briefly magic and qi in this new world for I can be on my merry way.
(Raynar blushing) I AM NOT A FEMALE!!!
(Me) I guess that notion of us being husband and wife is true. You want to nurture me into the ideal spouse. You really are scheming aren't you. Let us please convene back to the main subject please, my wife.(I chuckle while gazing at her assets)
(Raynar: He called me wife) You...you(sigh) Anyway, let me first tell you that your spiritual body and consciousness possess the qualities if not more than a higher god, so the vessel you be in will naturally assimilate to accommodate you. Now, all humanoid beings possess two dantians
* one located in the head next to your cerebellum
* the other is in the pit of your stomach
The dantian located in your head is the one mages cultivate, while the other is for warriors. For monsters, these two dantians have combined into one and is located to the left of their heart. Now, it is almost impossible to be able to use both if you are a humanoid existence unless you have what are known as the blessed bodies or attune your body meridians and qi paths from a young age. Also, you can use elixirs or an extremely pure essence to alter your genetic makeup and meridians. Mages use their mental perceptions and attunement of essence to use the element/s of their body to manipulate the fabric of reality while they also use the essence of their body to provide the power. Warriors on the other hand, absorb the essence from nature in which turns into the element/s of their body and use their body or weapon as a medium or catalyst to use it.
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(Me) That is pretty amazing. I guess you are about to send me off. Well, thank you for this exciting opportunity, my wife (I chuckle).
(Raynar)...you...you are most welcome.
She gets up from her throne and carries me toward a metal looking container...then she drops me inside and winks at me.
I know...I know...I just know this bi...my wife did not just throw me in the garbage. She would not do that to me.
I slick just got thrown in the garbage...
Wait a second garbage...
Garbage
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WHERE SHIT GOES!!!
I am going to so LOVE killing her.