Andrew hated brushing his teeth.

Sighing, he grudgingly laid down a layer of toothpaste on his frayed brush. He had read somewhere online that toothpaste ads showed the actors using way more toothpaste than was actually needed, all so the customers would go through their tube faster. Well, Andrew Jones was smarter than that. He had been using the same tube for the past year.

He wet the brush and began brushing. Looking at himself in the mirror, he was displeased. Andrew’s curly brown hair looked like someone took a burr, enlarged it to the size of a basketball, and plopped it down on his skull. A spray of freckles arched across his chubby cheeks and flat nose, and his eyes were too far apart. 

He had a nice smile, though. He gave himself that. 

Sighing again, he pulled up a livestream on his phone while he brushed. He absently looked at the time: 2:31 A.M. He had an 8:00 A.M. shift. Damn. He wondered if he should call in sick. They probably wouldn’t believe he had the fever three weeks in a row. But maybe the flu…? 

He spat and rinsed. Turning off the lights to his bathroom, he tossed off his shorts and crawled into bed. He plugged in his phone and set his mandatory ten alarms. He let the stream continue to play as he got comfortable.

Staring up at the ceiling, Andrew felt tired but not the sleepy kind, where your eyes droop and your mind is cloudy. He was tired in the sense that life had somehow gotten away from him, and it felt like everyday he was running to catch up. 

He hated his shitty job. He hated waking up early to go to his shitty job. All he really wanted to do was play games, eat good food, and… no, that was about it. 

The full moon shone quietly through his window. A beam of pale light landed on his face, and he turned to face his phone.

Somewhere right now, Andrew thought, in another reality, there exists a me that’s happy. A version of me that looks into the mirror and smiles. A version of me—Wait, am I depressed? Nah, can’t be. Just overthinking things. 

He stared at his phone. The streamer was playing a new mmorpg. Everyone was raving about it. Andrew couldn’t run it on his PC, which was really just a potato cosplaying as a computer. He could barely run Minesweeper. Turns out, a minimum wage job at the mall didn’t pay you very well.

Sadly, he turned his phone off and set it on his nightstand. He wished he could stay up all night and watch people play games for a living. He wished for a lot of things. He wished…

Andrew fell asleep that night with his thoughts sticky with half-formed wishes and dreams. 

Outside, the full moon blazed bright.

***

“Oh, oh! It has worked! The End Times are nigh!” 

Andrew shifted, grumbling.

“It… actually worked…?”

Andrew kicked his feet impatiently, as if that would shut up whoever was speaking.

“What do you mean, ‘It actually worked?’ Sing, Sister Jernya, sing with glory!”

Damn it, what was all that noise?!

“He looks kind of… I don’t know, is this what you expected?”

“Not at all. Did we get scammed?

“Hush, you blasphemers! Just Inspect him and you will see the truth! Avelar is forever changed! Praise be to the Stars!”

Arther scowled and screwed his eyes shut tighter. Damn neighbors…

“But why is his name ‘Andrew?’ Shouldn’t it be something, I don’t know, more Dark Lord-y?”

“Praise the One who lies before you! He has finally answered our call!”

“Yeah, that’s weird. Plus, he’s only Level 1…”

“Alright!” Andrew shouted, getting up. “That’s enough—Oh my God.” 

He wasn’t in his bed. He wasn’t in his dingy apartment bedroom. He wasn’t even inside. 

Andrew looked up at a night sky swarming with violet stars. A great swath of red cut through the night like God had spilled a can of paint when composing the universe. A single blue moon stared balefully at him. Around him were great big trees, except he appeared to be in a grove or a clearing of sorts. He laid atop a patch of forest floor that had been cleared of twigs and dirt. An eight-pointed star surrounded him, and on each point candles made with black wax burning a black flame.

Oh, and he was naked and there were three people in blue and violet robes kneeling before him.

“What is happening?” he whispered, covering his genitals with a hand. He somehow knew this wasn’t a dream. It felt too real. He felt too real.

“M-my Lord!” the closest of the kneeling people shouted. “I-I-I beg your leave t-to speak freely!”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Lord? Speak freely? 

“Go ahead?” Andrew said. He stood up shakily. His entire body felt weak and unfamiliar. He rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. A cold gust of wind shot through the forest, and he shivered. Did he get kidnapped?

“My Lord!” the same person shouted again. Andrew winced; why was he shouting? “Please forgive us, your humble servants, for drawing you forth from the Otherworld. You must be so disoriented from your extra-dimensional travel. We are the Children of the One, your children, my Lord. We have brought you here to fulfill your destiny. You will raze the sin-filled cities of Avelar to the ground and construct a new world in your image! And we will be your faithful leaders of the new age. This is as it has been, and this is as it will be.”

“This is as it has been,” the other kneelers echoed half-heartedly, “and this is as it will be.”

“The hell are you all talking about?” Andrew exclaimed. “What kind of prank is this? Joey, is that you? Not funny, man.” 

The speaker stood up and brushed his hood back, revealing a handsome man with dark skin and piercing violet eyes. Definitely not Joey. “Dark Lord, my name is Brother Tenno. This is Sister Jernya and Brother Maro behind me. I see your confusion is greater than I expected. But this is alright! We will guide your first steps in Avelar. I must admit, I did not expect you to take the form of a mortal. And your name and Level are very strange. How are you only Level 1?”

Andrew held up his free hand that wasn’t covering his junk. “You lost me at ‘Dark Lord.’ I’m going to need you to start from the beginning. And can all you stand up please? You’re freaking me out.”

“Rise, you fools!” Tenno hissed to the others. “And give the One some robes!” The two hastily stood at once and drew back their hoods, revealing another man and a woman. Maro was tall with pale skin, a shaved head, and an uneasy smile on his face. Jernya looked similar to him, siblings perhaps, with full lips and a crooked nose. 

She darted forth with a folded robe. She presented it to him, and he accepted it shyly with one hand, never more conscious of his nudity than now. Giving him wide eyes, she darted back. 

Andrew turned around, unfortunately exposing the strangers to his ass, and tossed the robes over his head. They were nice and thick with draping sleeves. Not bad.

“Dark Lord,” Tenno said. “I suggest you open up your Bio. It should hopefully clarify things for you.”

He faced the man and frowned. “Bio? What’s that?”

Jernya and Maro muttered to themselves. Andrew heard the words, “I’m pretty sure we got scammed,” pass around. Tenno affixed them with a strong glare, and they hushed.

“It’s simple,” Tenno said politely to Andrew. “Just issue a mental command for your Bio to awaken, and it should appear before your eyes.”

Simple enough. 

Feeling a bit foolish but willing to go along for the ride, he hesitantly thought to himself, Open Bio?

And a display appeared before him: 

Name: Andrew / The One

Class: Dark Lord

Level: 1

Exp: 0/100

Attributes

HP = 50

MP = 50

Might = 1 

Wisdom = 1

Dexterity = 1

Stamina = 1

Charisma = 1

Innate Skills

[Force of Command] = LvL. N/A — Mp = 0

As the One, all under creation are yours to rule. Speak, and they will obey. Dependant on the level of your MIGHT and the opponent’s MIGHT. Only available on living beings.

[Force of Woe] - LvL. N/A — Mp: 0

As the One, all under creation are yours to punish. Gesture, and they will weep. Dependant on the level of your WISDOM and the opponent’s WISDOM. Only available on living beings.

Andrew closed the Bio with a blink of his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. Okay. He was dreaming. It was probably that stream he was watching before he went to bed. Mom was right: his phone has officially rotted his brain.

“Well?” Tenno said. “Are things starting to make more sense, my Lord?”

“No,” Andrew said slowly. “Things are starting to get more confusing. But since I’ll probably be waking up late for work any time soon, whatever. Let’s have some fun. Can I cast some spells now?” 

Tenno frowned and glanced behind at the siblings, who shrugged at him. “Dark Lord,” he said, “I’m not sure I—”

He was cut off by the sound of birds squawking and taking flight. Andrew looked up as a mass of dark wings blotted out the stars. 

“Huh,” he said, turning to face Tenno. “I wonder what that’s all about.”

Tenno stumbled back and pointed a shaky finger at the tree line. “P-probably that.”

Andrew looked at the direction he pointed. The blood drained from his face.

A giant jaguar-like creature prowled into the grove. It was as large as a small bus with ink-dark skin and piercing yellow eyes and paws the size of Andrew’s face. Its whiskers twitched in the air before its mouth dropped open, revealing large fangs. Saliva dripped from its maw in thick gloops.

Andrew suddenly became aware of another display in the corner of his right eye that spelled out his HP and MP in two thin bars. They looked awfully small.

“Hey, Tenno?” he said slowly, stepping away from the creature. “Is this thing… friendly?”

“No, Dark Lord,” Tenno whispered behind him. “It most certainly is not.”

Gulping, Andrew cast his eye over the creature, who stared at him with predatory intent. He saw a name over its head, written in all red.

(ELITE) Nightcrawler- LvL. 23

“It says it's hostile,” Andrew whispered back. “Should we fight it?” When no reply came, he repeated, “Baldy? Should we fight it?”

Daring to cast a glance over his shoulder, he saw that all cultists were huddled behind him in a tight group. Jernya had pulled out a sword, Tenno a sword, and Maro had a strange orb glowing over his shoulder. They didn’t seem particularly inclined to use their weapons.

“Dark Lord, this creature is surely one of yours,” Maro said in a hushed tone. “Send it back to the Underworld from whence it came!”

The other two nodded in agreement and stepped back further away. Soon it was just Andrew in the middle of the clearing facing down the Nightcrawler.

Alright, alright. This is just a dream. I’m not in any real danger. Not at all. 

Then why did he feel so afraid? Why did it feel like his tentative control over his bladder was about to evaporate at any moment?

The Nightcrawler’s thick tail swished back and forth. It padded forward, pupils dilating into pinpricks. Around the claws of its massive paws, a crackling blue energy began to form.

Magic? The cat’s using magic? 

In the space of a few seconds, Andrew did the most thinking he’d ever done in his life. He assessed the situation: giant monster-magic cat thingy headed his way, a group of cowardly cultists huddling behind him like children, and he was the supposed Dark Lord who happened to be 22 Levels lower than the cat.

So, he did the only logical thing.

Andrew ran.