A strange sense of uncertainty ensnared Jesse. He lay there, staring up at the ceiling; beside him, Ross also rested on his back in silence. Ross...his mate. There was no denying their connection, but Jesse was feeling unsure about it. He didn't regret his choice to have sex with him, nor did he regret letting him in and accepting him. What he wasn't so confident about was the fact that his mate was a killer—a cold, heartless killer.

He wanted to glance at the man beside him; he wanted to see if he felt any different when he looked at his face, but he was too nervous. He was always so nervous and awkward after hooking up with someone; however, this was different. Ross wasn't just some random guy he'd met in a queer bar; he was his mate. This was the man he was supposed to spend his life with.

Ross suddenly turned his head and looked at him. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Jesse managed a slight glance, and when he saw the man's face, he wasn't filled with intimidation or anxiety. The uncertainty lingered, sure, but he didn't feel terrified that he was about to take his last breath. "Yeah," he replied, looking back up at the ceiling.

He turned onto his side and propped his head up on his hand, looking down at Jesse. "You sure?"

With a quiet sigh, Jesse looked up at him. "I just...I don't know." He hesitated, but he wanted to try and understand, especially now that Ross was revealed to be so much more to him. "How can you...kill people so easily?"

Ross didn't seem reluctant to answer. "Killing is all I really know," he said. "For as long as I can remember, I was trained to fight and kill, both humans and Caeleste. And I don't do people; I'm used to being on my own."

"What about your pack?"

"We're not close. We know how to work as a team and get the job done, but other than that, we don't know each other."

Jesse frowned. Even though his family were terrible, he couldn't imagine being that distant from them.

"Why are you so disgusted and upset by it?" Ross questioned. "Your pack isn't much different than mine—other than their killing being deemed legal."

"I just...like I said, I just wanted to find my mate. I didn't want to grow up and spend my life hunting and killing people for the Nosferatu. I know it's my family's business, but surely there are other, less violent ways to make a living."

"Not for our kind. Since the first appearance of the Caeleste government, wolf walkers have been hunters or military."

He wasn't wrong. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"What are you going to do now?" Ross then asked.

Jesse frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you don't need to go to the Grey Moon Ceremony anymore. Will you go back to your family?"

He hadn't thought about it. The reason he'd left home was to find his mate at the ceremony, but...he'd found him on this ship. He still felt unsure, though. Ross was the complete opposite of him, and they barely knew anything about each other. Jesse didn't like how much of a mystery this man was, and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to get more answers or not. What if he learned that Ross was responsible for something even worse than the murder of other wolf walkers?

"Back to James?" Ross questioned.

James. The name sent dismay spiralling through Jesse's relaxed body. Ross might be his mate, but he still loved James. Despite the fact that he rejected him, he still missed him, he still wanted him...and even if James wasn't his mate, he'd scurry back to him in a heartbeat if he asked.

That was terrible and pathetic of him, wasn't it? He so desperately wanted to find his mate, and now that he'd found him, all he could think about was the man who broke his heart. He knew that he needed to move on, but how could he do that with a man he barely knew?

He glanced at Ross. "What are you going to do? Once we dock at DeiganLupus."

"I have a contact in Ripperton. He's going to get me to Dor-Sanguis."

Jesse's confliction intensified, and he knew why. He wanted to be with his mate; it was a primal need, a deep, desperate desire. But if he went with Ross, his life would change dramatically. Like a criminal, he'd be on the run for the rest of his days; he'd have to sleep with one eye open, getting his medication would be hard, and there was no telling what else waited for him. A pack of killers? Werewolves? Ucigaş'? He'd become the very thing his family hunted.

"Come with me," Ross said, snatching Jesse out of his thoughts.

His eyes widened a little as he stared at Ross' expectant face. "W-what?"

"To Dor-Sanguis. It's the safest place for wolves right now."

Jesse had heard that before. During the First World War, their kind became divided. Wolf walkers were those who chose to follow Fenrisúlfr, the wolf walker deity who worked closely with the Nosferatu, the Caeleste government; the rest chose to keep following the old ways, killing humans and even each other, retaining the name werewolves. They lived in Dor-Sanguis, the birthplace of one of the original wolves, Ada Ardelean, and were protected by an age-old treaty. The Nosferatu couldn't hunt and prosecute them there.

Did he want to go there? Did he want to willingly walk into a life of exile from his family and true allegiance just to be with his mate?

He was taking too long to answer. "But I'm not like you," he said, turning his head to look at Ross. "I don't...know your life. I don't kill."

"You don't have to kill to be with me," he replied, laughing a little.

"No...but I've heard about werewolf packs. Just like back home, I'd be singled out and picked on. I don't...wanna live that life, especially not on the run."

"You wouldn't be singled out," Ross said with a frown. "I'm the Alpha, and you're my mate. They have no choice but to respect you."

"I don't think it works like that," he mumbled sadly, looking away again. "Being the child of two renowned Alphas didn't earn me respect, nor did dating another powerful, well-known Alpha."

Ross moved a little closer and gazed down into Jesse's eyes. "I'll take care of you," he said sincerely.

Jesse wasn't convinced. He needed time to think about all of this. "Can I just...have time to think about it?"

A confused frown flickered across Ross' face.

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"It's a lot," Jesse said, afraid that he might have upset him. "Starting a new life, leaving my family behind—even though they're terrible—and going to a strange country I've only ever heard unsettling stories about. If...you were asking to come to Solitudinem, it'd be different, but—"

Ross laughed slightly and shook his head. "Solitudinem is that last place you'd want to be seen with me."

"Yeah, 'cause my family hunts people like you," Jesse mumbled.

"It'd give me a chance to beat the shit out of James for treating you like shit, though."

Ross' response admittedly made Jesse feel tempted—it made him feel...wanted. Ross wanted to protect him, and he wanted to hurt the people who had hurt him. While Jesse didn't condone that kind of violence, knowing that Ross wanted to defend him was a pleasant thought.

He wouldn't indulge the idea, though. "Why were you trained to kill people?" He wasn't sure if he'd like the answer, but...he wanted to know.

"After my family chose to turn their backs on the Caeleste government, they were on their own. They had to defend themselves while trying to get to Dor-Sanguis, and they needed money to do that."

"I...heard someone say that after you took over was when your pack started killing other wolves," he said cautiously.

Ross scoffed. "That's what everyone thinks. My pack killed a lot of wolf walkers before I took control. The only reason people believe that I was the one who started it was because I led an attack against a wolf walker pack in Euboris. They were trying to capture us, and I managed to work out their plan and got the drop on them. We slaughtered them in the middle of the night and left without a trace."

Jesse was right; he didn't like the answer. But that didn't keep him from asking, "So...why did you kill your previous Alpha?"

"Because he was talking about giving in. The pressure that the Nosferatu were putting on us was getting to his head, and he started convincing some of the Betas that they'd all be better off handing themselves in. I wasn't going to stand by and watch my pack give up on our heritage or turn their backs on our ancestors, so I took action. I challenged the Alpha, killed him, and took control. No one opposed my leadership," Ross explained.

What he was saying made sense; Ross was just protecting his pack the same way any wolf walker leader would. His family had to do what they could to get money so that they could get to safety. And they were just doing what they had to in order to protect their beliefs. Not every wolf saw Fenrisúlfr as their deity and they didn't all believe that serving the Nosferatu was their divine purpose. Werewolves were criminalized for their choices, branded as traitors and lawless killers. It was...interesting to hear it from the perspective of a werewolf, and Jesse liked to think that he was beginning to understand both sides of the story.

"I've only ever heard the wolf walker side of the story," he said quietly.

"Nobody cared to hear ours."

A confounding thought hit Jesse, and he frowned a little. The last he heard, the werewolves were given safe passage to Dor-Sanguis because of the very treaty that Ross mentioned. So why had wolf walkers been sent to hunt and capture Ross' pack? Was it to help them to relocate? No, it didn't sound like that was the case. The human killing could be the reason behind that; however, Jesse didn't have enough information to start speculating.

He wanted to ask...but how could he without it sounding like he was accusing Ross of lying? He might feel relaxed now, but he wasn't confident enough to potentially offend him. Instead, he put it out of his mind and tried to think of something else to ask or say. Ross had been honest with him so far, and he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Did you ever try to find your mate?" Jesse asked. "To find...me?"

"It wasn't something I was actively doing, no. I knew I had one—every wolf has a mate—but I didn't seek mine out. I was distracted trying to get my pack to safety," Ross answered, gazing down at him again. "I never thought I'd actually find you."

Jesse laughed a little as a familiar sadness filled him. "I was starting to think that I'd never find mine, and I definitely didn't think you'd be...well, you."

Ross smirked. "I bet I'm still a hundred times more interesting than whatever jock or mommy's boy James is."

His sadness didn't lift, but it was accompanied by amusement. "How'd you know he was a mommy's boy?"

"He was too embarrassed to go public with you. Men who do that are often either trying to prove their worth to their father or bent on doing whatever they can to please mommy, such as marrying a woman and having a bunch of kids," Ross muttered.

That made Jesse curious about his parents. "What...were your parents like? I mean apart from training you to kill."

For the first time ever, a hint of discomfort was visible in Ross' eyes. He stopped staring down at Jesse and sighed quietly. "Not the best. I guess we have that in common. Except they wouldn't stop with me. Every waking moment was a lesson. They taught me how the world works for people like me, though, so I can't hate them."

"Are they...still around?"

"No. They were two of the first to die when the Nosferatu started hunting us."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

Ross shrugged and lay on his back. "I'm not gonna lie, life is a hell of a lot easier without them. They didn't deserve to die, though."

Jesse didn't know what else to say. His parents were assholes, but...he wouldn't want them to die; they were still his parents. Was that stupid, though? They ignored and dismissed him all his life, treated him like shit, and didn't respect his choice to transition. Was the fact that a small part of him still...cared about them pathetic?

"When am I going to see you, Jesse?" Ross asked—his abrupt questions kept catching Jesse off guard.

But this time, he was confused. "What...do you mean?"

Ross leaned up onto his arm and smiled down at him. "Your real self," he said with an almost seductive tone.

"Oh," he murmured, feeling a little nervous. Ross wanted to see him in his wolf form. "I mean...well, I don't know. My parents never taught me how to improve my endurance or transformation time, and I'm kinda...afraid that if I shift too often, I'll become a Delta."

The man grimaced. "Wow, your parents really are pieces of shit."

Jesse frowned despondently. "I asked them to teach me, and my friend Trever, who helped me with my travel documents, tried to help, but I didn't get very far."

Ross exhaled deeply, almost as if he was trying to release pent-up anger. "I can teach you," he offered. "I'll teach you what they failed to. I can even teach you to kill without feeling so guilty all the ti—"

"Just uh...the transformation stuff is fine," Jesse interjected with an unsure laugh. "Thank you."

A smile then stretched across Ross' face. "So, you will come with me?"

Jesse hadn't realized that he'd basically just said he would go to Dor-Sanguis—he'd have to if he wanted to learn from Ross, wouldn't he? He shuffled around and shrugged lightly. "I mean...maybe you can teach me," he said. "I still need to think about it."

"Well, don't take too long," he said as he dragged his thumb over Jesse's bottom lip, along his jawline, and down over his neck. "The full moon is coming around, and I'm going to claim you; surely you know that we need to be in our wolf forms to do that."

The idea of being claimed sent a shiver of anticipation through Jesse's body. Having his mate's mark on his skin—his permanent mark. He wanted it. For so long, he'd desperately waited for the moment he found the man he belonged to. But if he wanted to remain Ross', he'd have to leave his law-abiding life in Solitudinem behind and follow his mate to Dor-Sanguis.

He glanced at Ross' intimidating eyes and meekly said, "I'll try to decide as soon as I can. I just...need to think everything over."

"All right," he said, stroking his fingers down over Jesse's chest. "You should get some sleep," he then suggested, glancing at the clock. "I'll keep watch."

Jesse could admittedly do with some rest. It had been a long, exhausting, confusing day, and he hoped that a few hours' sleep would help ease some of the stress lingering inside him. "Okay," he said and pulled the blanket up to cover his chest. "What about you, though?"

"I can go days without sleep," Ross told him. "I'll be fine."

That didn't sound healthy. "You...need to sleep more often than that," he said with a nervous laugh.

"I'll be fine," he repeated. "I'll rest once I'm sure it's safe."

Jesse didn't want to argue with him. Ross knew what he was talking about, clearly. He was also struggling to find the energy to keep talking; he'd ask more questions later.

As he moved closer to him, Ross wrapped his arms around Jesse and pulled him into his warm embrace. Jesse then closed his eyes and relaxed, giving in to the fatigue. He had a lot to think about, and he had no idea what he was going to choose. He wanted to be with his mate—of course he did; the idea of having to leave him after spending years searching and hoping made Jesse feel nauseous—but he wasn't sure if he was ready to join a werewolf and turn his back on the life he'd known for twenty-five years.

He had to consider what was best for him, though. Return home to a family that didn't want him, a family that treated him like shit...or go with his soulmate, a man who accepted him for who and what he was without question, without compromise; a man who, despite everything else that transpired that day, made him feel wanted, needed, and...protected. He felt safe in Ross' arms, and no one had ever made him feel like that before.

But could he really become the very thing that his family had hunted for several generations?