The following afternoon in the cottage, the warm sunlight filtered through the windows like a gentle embrace, but I couldn't shake the weight of the impending departure to Anahate. In mere days, I would leave this sanctuary behind and venture into a world of unknowns. Lennon, as always, was out tending to Ozzy's stable with his trademark calmness. Meanwhile, I nervously busied myself with cleaning, my fingers moving with precision as I polished every surface. Cleaning every inch of the room, I could almost forget about my pounding heart and the impending trip to Anahate. But thoughts of leaving Lennon lingered, like a dark cloud over my mind. The worn leather books on the shelf whispered against the soft cloth. As I reached for another book, Lennon’s journal slipped from its place and fell to the ground with a muffled thud. My heart raced as I stared at the open page, hesitant but unable to resist the pull of curiosity. It was not meant for me to read, but I couldn't help myself. His innermost musings lay before me, and despite my best efforts to resist, my eyes began to scan the lines in search of any insight into the man I...deeply cared for. My heart skipped a beat as I saw my name etched onto the page in his sharp handwriting. A flutter of anticipation danced through my veins as I yearned to know what he had written about me. My fingers trembled as I reached for the journal, my eyes devouring the words as I began to read.

What are the odds I visit the bridge with a vial full of hemlock to off myself and find my possible fuse lying there unconscious? Just my luck, I guess. Maybe it wasn’t my time to go. Or maybe I was meant to reach such despair so I’d be on the bridge that day to help her.

My eyes widened in shock as I read the words on the page. It was not my place to intrude, to pry into someone else's private thoughts. And yet, I couldn't stop myself from devouring each word, unable to look away. And with a heavy heart, I finally began to understand the extent of his despair, the burden of his emotions. It was no surprise he kept his reasons for being on that bridge a secret. Every fiber of my being yearned to rush out and embrace him, to express my gratitude for his survival. The mere thought of a life without Lennon sent shivers down my spine. The words continued, a poignant tale of fate and destiny.

The weirdest part is the cards. Right before I was about to drink the tonic and jump, I decided to pull one last card for shits and giggles. It was the Ace of Spades. New beginnings. Then minutes later I find her there, and her name is Ace? The Mother must have a wicked sense of humor.

I felt a tear prick at the corner of my eye as I understood the serendipity of it all.

Is it possible for a Sidhe to fuse with a human? This is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to a fuse. They say you’re supposed to just ‘know’ though. Maybe I do know, but I’m just questioning it because she’s human.

My mind whirled with questions. What did it mean to be a fuse? As I stood frozen in shock, my gaze drifting over the pages littered with his despair and longing, I realized the true depth of his desperation. As I devoured his words, they painted a vivid tapestry of yearning and restraint.

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Every time I catch her scent, it takes every ounce of my self-control not to ravage her. Sometimes I have to excuse myself and gather my composure. And that towel on the first night...thank the Mother it was dark so she couldn't see my reaction. and thankfully, she has human senses and can't detect it.

My cheeks flushed with the realization of his desire, his constant struggle to control it. The journal revealed more, each sentence a puzzle piece falling into place.

Then one day I wake up and she’s gone. That was a panic like I’ve never felt, not even during the war. It was as if a part of my soul had vanished. I searched everywhere for her, then took flight when I couldn't find her. And then, there she was standing on the bridge again.

My heart raced as I imagined his desperation, his fear of losing me.

I truly believed she was going to cross back to the human world. My heart was in my fucking stomach seeing her on that bridge again. As much as I like to think of myself as patient and non-controlling, I can't say for certain that I would have let her go. Not just for selfish reasons either. Maybe she was running from something. But honestly, it would mostly be for selfish reasons. How could I let this slip away? There's something about Ace that's different, deeper, than what I felt with Sully. It's like an instinct to protect her at all costs, as if she's a part of me.

An overwhelming wave of emotions surged through me as I devoured his words. It was a bittersweet blend of euphoria and melancholy, all tangled up in this intense and inexplicable bond between us. It wasn't just my imagination, I wasn't alone in this turbulent sea of emotions. A sense of relief flooded me.

I don't know what any of it means, but I know I don't want to scare her away. What would she think if she knew the real reason I was on that bridge? But if she truly is my fuse, I can't subject her to a life in The Dread. She's already wary of Anahate, and if she accepted our bond, she'd never want to leave my side. I can't let her become what I've become. I have to find a way out of this place.

As I continued reading, a tale of fate and destiny unfolded before me. The cards, the bridge, our fateful meeting - all pieces of a puzzle that seemed destined to come together. And then, the mention of a fuse - my heart swelled with emotion as I read his final words.

I used to mock the barbaric displays of males when they fused, but now I understand it completely. If anyone were to try to harm Ace or take her from me, I cannot guarantee that my primal instincts wouldn't take over. I was so close to killing those truth farmers. It's almost frightening. Part of me wants to run from it, perhaps another reason why I want her to go to Anahate so I can sort my shit out. I feel like... I don't even know what I feel. It's all just so much.

Overwhelmed by swirling emotions, I struggled to process everything. Learning the truth behind his presence on the bridge shattered my heart, yet knowing he reciprocated my intense feelings filled me with elation. I pondered the meaning of a fuse, wondering if it was the eternal bond I’d heard in tales of the Sidhe. The mere thought sent shivers down my spine. The sound of Lennon's whistling, as he tended Ozzy’s stable, snapped me back to the present. Panic clawed at my chest and I rushed to hastily replace the journal to its rightful place on the shelf. My thoughts were ablaze with a tumultuous mix of questions and emotions. Should I tell him that I read his journal? The thought sent a wave of fear through me. For now, it was a secret I would keep, a secret that bound us closer together in ways I was still trying to understand.