Everything became a blur after that as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I probably would have passed out entirely if Linnea hadn't started dragging me through a massive pile of bug corpses.
I thought she said something about getting us out of here, but it was so hard to focus that I couldn't be sure. Even though I was armored, being dragged over concrete was uncomfortable enough to keep me conscious for most of the trip.
At one point, I'm pretty sure, we paused as she prodded and cursed at the elevator control panel. I must have passed out then because the next thing I could remember was her shouting at someone to get here as soon as possible. After that, nothing.
When I woke again, it was to a feeling of softness and quiet. The quiet was so all-encompassing that it took me a minute to figure out what was wrong.
I couldn't sense anything.
Not a hint of technology, nor a mote of Psi essence. Nothing.
This revelation was enough to send me into a panic. I'd been able to use my psi sense for so long now that it had become an expected part of me. One that I relied on to get a clear picture of the world around me.
To have it suddenly missing was a massive shock. Gasping for breath, I sat up and opened my eyes to wildly scan my surroundings. I immediately focused my mind on the first object I saw: a cup of water on a small table next to me.
I tried to summon it to my hand. Nothing. I tried again—still nothing.
I'm powerless, I realized with a deep, sinking feeling of horror. I couldn't even feel the well of energy deep inside me.
There were many things I'd been worried about in the brief moments of consciousness between coming down off my corrupted power high and passing out. This wasn't one of them; I couldn't figure out how one thing could have led to the other.
Then, a calm voice cut through the growing panic. "It's alright, Lord Hope. You're in a hospital recovery room; there's nothing to fear here." It was vaguely familiar and spoke so confidently that it gave me something to focus on.
"I can't feel my Psionic energy or use any of my abilities," I managed to gasp out between deep, heaving breaths. It would have been easy to look over and see who was talking, but it was all I could to stop myself from spiraling out of control.
That issue was solved for me as a tall, cowled figure stepped into my field of view. Even in my panic, I recognized the distinctive clothes. They belonged to the unnamed corruption expert who'd seen me when I was first exposed.
"There's nothing to worry about there; you're not injured, nor are your powers damaged in any way. You're just wearing a Psionic suppressor," he continued in the same calm, unflappable tone. "What you're feeling is entirely expected."
"Oh," I said as I began processing what he'd said. It helped, and my breathing slowed somewhat. "Because of the corruption?"
The man, who went simply by Doctor, I remembered, nodded in response. "Correct. Given the rapid expansion of your body's corruptive energy, I've had to implement a more extensive version of my initial suggestion. And this time, I'm afraid I will have to insist."
My breathing sped back up as I thought back to our first conversation. "That's no Psi powers for six months, right?" It was a horrible enough thought that I could barely fathom it.
"It was six months," he stressed as he pulled a chair over to the bed. "Now it will have to be a year, and you'll need to wear the suppressor to be safe. Normally, I wouldn't go that far, but I'm worried about how it spread despite the pills you've been taking."
"I trust you have been taking the pills?" he finished, arcing an eyebrow at me.
A year? I thought, shaking my head back and forth. But everything comes to a head much sooner than that: the integration event on Earth, all our attempts to get ahead of it, and even the war against the pirates.
Then I realized what shaking my head would have looked like and forced myself to respond. "Yes, every day. I even had them shipped out to us in the wilderness."
"That is what you're young lady friend said," he responded with a measured nod. "But it's good to hear you confirm it." Shaking his head, he continued with a soft laugh. "She raised quite the commotion to get me out here so quickly; I'm not usually so easy to get a hold of."
"You're also lucky the Duchess values you so much," he finished with a gesture toward my arm. "Those suppressors are not common, and the alternatives are… unpleasant."
"I've sent several of your remaining pills off to confirm they have the correct potency, but I expect the test to return fine. They're very heavily quality-controlled as it is. From our current understanding, they should have stopped this from occurring. Can you think of anything that might be different about your circumstances?"
Fuck, I thought as I tried to bring my breathing back under control and focus on his question. I bet it's because I'm here through the 'game', and since I can't say that, I need to bring something else up.
Eventually, I responded. "It might be because I entirely ran out of energy and kept pushing. We were in a tough spot, and I was trying to shield us. When I ran out, I kept trying to push harder, and that was when I got a new surge of energy from the corruption.
The Doctor pursed his lips and briefly tilted his head before responding. "That's exactly what the pills are supposed to prevent. The corruption's favored tactic for further infiltration is offering more power when it's most needed."
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"Though I suppose a truly strenuous situation might force the body to overcome the restrictions. The condition is fairly rare, and the number of people who don't take the sensible treatment is fewer still," he paused to arc an eyebrow at me again.
"So our data is limited. I'll record this and recommend that other people taking the same risk avoid life-or-death situations. Now, I only have a little time before I need to leave as I was pulled away from some very time-sensitive work. Do you have any questions before I go?"
I relaxed slightly as he seemed to accept my explanation. "What do I have to avoid exactly? I think you mentioned high background Psi energy before. And should I keep taking the pills?"
"Just keep the bracelet on," he responded, pointing a bony finger at my wrist. "It's locked, but I'm sure a man of your skills and connections could figure out how to remove it."
"If you'd initially taken the treatment willingly, we would have relied on a different set of pills and a consciousness avoidance of energy from you. Now you have that on; it will block any background energy from entering your body entirely. You also won't need your usual pills, as there is no chance of the corruption getting any energy.
"It's really a superior method," he finished with an exasperated sigh. "But they're just so rare. It's one of the pieces we haven't been able to replicate, and only a few can be recovered. Without it, we'd have to do a temporary brain operation in your current situation."
Bloody hell, I thought with a wince while outwardly nodding. Sounds like I need to thank the Duchess and Linnea. "I think that's it then. I guess I'll see you again in a year?"
"That you will," he finished, pushing his chair back to stand. "And Jared," he said as he turned to leave. "Don't take the bracelet off. That's a direct order from a military doctor; I will put you before a tribunal if I have to."
Then he was gone, leaving me still reeling from the conversation. That's the first time he ever called me by my first name; I guess he wanted to shove home that he was serious.
It was the first downside I'd run into being a noble here. You were part of the military whether you wanted to be or not, and you had to play by their rules. Even if I was willing to ignore the risk to my health a second time, I couldn't risk the deep investigation that would likely result from a tribunal.
Having this episode despite being medicated was suspicious enough in the first place, and with everything coming to a head soon, I couldn't risk losing the stronghold I'd built here. It would be sorely needed if we managed to bring everyone over from Earth.
Before I could get dragged too far into introspection, Linnea rushed in through the door and dropped into the seat with enough force to send it clattering against the floor. "How are you feeling? That doctor finally let me back in as he was leaving."
"I feel healthy enough," I responded, my tone listless even to my own ears. "But I'm cut off from my powers for a year. At least. I don't know how I'll cope," I finished, feeling that I should at least be honest with her.
Linnea reached out and laid her hand on my shoulder, her face a picture of sadness. "Yeah, the guy said to make sure you kept it on. That there would be some pretty serious consequences if you didn't. How did this happen? I thought the pills were supposed to stop it?"
"It sounds like it was because I had to push so hard in that fight," I said, wincing at lying to her just after planning to be truthful. I'll tell her my real thoughts later when we're somewhere secure; I consoled myself to try and remove the guilt.
Without my powers, I couldn't check for listening devices, which sent paranoia racing through me. It might seem unlikely to have them in a hospital, but if this was a military hospital, I could see it.
And with this episode already being suspicious, I couldn't risk anything getting out. Thankfully, she didn't make a fuss, only nodding and leaning forward into an awkward hug.
"I know it has to feel terrible," she said softly by my ear. "But we're going to get through it. Just one year, and then you can go back to normal."
"I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next year," I whispered back, my voice breaking up as I spoke. "Everything I've built here was with those powers. Without them, I'm not Count Hope, the powerful Psion; I'm just useless old Jared. Like I was before I started."
It felt hopeless to face everything that was coming up without them. There was so much to do, and I was now practically useless. Even my armor and my good weapons needed Psi energy to run. I might as well be that naive, ineffective idiot who first started the VSO.
"Hey now," Linnea said, pulling back a little so I could see the stern look on her face. "You're being way too hard on yourself. You achieved all of this because of you, not just because of the powers you have. It's not all going to fall apart without them."
I shook my head, trying to get her to understand. "You didn't know me before I came to this planet," I continued, having just enough presence of mind to reference my supposed arrival from the core worlds instead of a game.
"I'd fucked up pretty much everything in my life. I'd even quit the shitty job I had because I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so desperate I gambled everything I had left on this. If I hadn't managed to find that first ruin, I would have…"
"Jared," she interrupted with a hand on my chest. "I don't want to stop you, but you're being silly, and I hope it's just the shock talking and not what you really think. You were clearly quite successful in getting to that first facility without your powers."
"And what about all the good you've done as a Count? Your powers didn't help you plan all that out, and from what I've heard, the town's been doing extremely well. While those powers might have helped with specific situations, the greater whole is all down to you as a person."
I blinked at her for a moment, thrown by her words. Then, I shook my head and began to argue. "But I did fail right at the start. I went out for my first expedition and was forced to come back and get help. Then I only made it to the lake and later to the facility because you and then Elana were along to help."
"Really?" she responded flatly. "You're argument for being an early failure is that you went out into the wilderness on your own for days, survived, came back with the loot you'd collected, and then engaged a mercenary to help with a second trip based on the learnings from your first one?"
"Do you know what I did for the first few days? I spent them learning how to walk again. Now, which of us sounds like they got more done?"
I guess I never considered what it must have been like to go from a crippled body to a functional one, I realized. I wasn't entirely sure I believed what she was saying, but I also had difficulty ignoring her words.
"Thankfully, I've always had great hand-eye coordination, and the class helped, so it was easier to learn how to shoot," she continued, keeping her eyes locked on mine. "And then I found the best first employer possible."
"He already had a plan and was working toward it. Also, he asked me to be the back-line support while he took on most of the danger, giving me time to get my feet under me before our first real test."
"When I look back at those times, I don't see a 'useless Jared without his powers'; I see a man working toward his first success, learning and improving along the way. Yes, I'm sure it will be hard, but we'll get through it together."
"You're hardly hurting for funds," she finished with a wry grin. "Just buy the best mundane armor and equipment they have. That will still put you above most of the soldiers around here."
"OK," I said at last, nodding back at her. "You're right, we'll make it through. We can still get past everything ahead, even without my powers."
I just wished that I really believed her.