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#48: Borrowing Confidence

#48: Borrowing Confidence

Teresa Rosethorne wasn't entirely sure how she felt about the situation she found herself in. She trailed behind Lady Li Mei, keeping in step with the tiny adjutant who kept throwing annoyed glances her way for some reason, while the dignitary went around greeting various important people with all the grace, poise, and pride of Teresa's own mother.

Despite being half their height and a fraction of their age!

"Greetings, Viscountess Primula. I heard your House Poppyvine excels in pharmaceuticals? I have an interest in medicine myself, lately I've been studying the effects of Bluevine and Catwood..."

"Marchioness Zinnia, your dress looks lovely. Surely it wasn't handcrafted by Rebecca Highcastle herself...? It was! How remarkable, I thought I recognized that lace pattern along the fringe. Yes, my dress is a Highcastle as well, isn't it a fine coincidence? We have matching tastes, it seems!"

"Do you have a moment, Countess Erica? House Whiteheath has some of the loveliest mountain territory in Brittalund, does it not? The mountains of my home are quite lovely, and I did find myself missing them terribly the longer I'm away. Oh? I would be delighted to attend your next excursion, do send a courier to my residence at your leisure. I'll be looking forward to it."

"Viscountess Veronica! Yes, I will be attending the Seaside Academy when the new term starts. I'm quite enthusiastic about seeing for myself what knowledge Brittalund has to offer. Your daughter is one of the professors, is she not? What was her specialty again? Ah, of course, enchantment array theory! I look forward to her lectures, I'm sure they'll be enlightening."

With each greeting the color drained a bit more from Teresa's face, until she resembled a stuffed sheet in a dress rather than a noble young lady.

Even more shocking, after Lady Li Mei introduced herself and exchanged pleasantries with whichever noble was currently in front of her, she also took a moment to make sure Teresa was properly introduced to them as well.

'What's going on?' Teresa thought in a panicked frenzy as she clutched a goblet of juice, willing her hands not to shake. 'Is she setting something up? Is she planning on humiliating me further? I thought she was helping me when she didn't get very mad about my outburst, but... Is she angry after all?!'

Her only consolation was the fact her older sister Alba looked absolutely furious about what was happening. She kept throwing angry glares at Lady Li Mei's back, but whenever the dignitary turned in her direction, the glare turned into a simpering smile in the hopes of drawing the younger noble closer.

If Alba was angry rather than pleased, maybe Lady Li Mei wasn't planning something malicious after all?

Unless there was more to it. Teresa's head was spinning - she wasn't very good at complicated interactions and political entanglements, which was why her standing in the family wasn't very high. She did her best, but was nowhere near as talented at intrigue as her older sisters.

Something many of them insisted she never forget.

Teresa glanced up just in time to catch Alba's gaze directed not at Lady Li Mei, but at herself. That beautiful face, so much like Mother's, contorted into an expression of rage and disgust.

Teresa's stomach churned, and she shrank back a few steps.

Alba was the one who dropped hints about Mother needing a lot of etherium for a few important experiments, and that Mother would surely appreciate having some brought to her rather than having to send her own servants out to search. It would be faster for Teresa to go out and grab some quickly, then provide the etherium before Mother even declared she needed it! She was the one who sent Teresa on a search through Ashwick, checking every lapidary and blacksmith and jeweler for the elusive ore, in the hopes of impressing her Mother.

During her isolation punishment Teresa realized how foolish she'd been. Mother wouldn't hesitate to take what she needed, when she needed it. Obviously Alba was fooling around, and hoping for...

Something, surely. Teresa couldn't begin to guess what Alba got out of it, other than amusement at having fooled her stupid and gullible little sister again. Perhaps there were deeper machinations in the background, but as usual, she was clueless about what they might be.

Tears stung the corners of Teresa's eyes, and she glanced down to hide her own expression. Alba was worse than a shark in bloodied water whenever any of her sisters showed weakness.

A lull in the surrounding conversation drew Teresa back out of the mire of her own thoughts. She glanced up, only to find Lady Li Mei staring at her with those strange, light purple eyes. It took her a moment to realize not only Lady Li Mei, but several other nearby guests were looking at her as well.

Teresa paled. "I... I'm... I..." she stammered, trying to think of a way to explain herself without apologizing, and stumbling entirely over the effort.

Lady Li Mei smiled, her eyes narrowing as she did so, like a predator baring its fangs before its prey. Teresa shivered, her gaze subconsciously darting over the Yueluo dignitary's shoulder to where her sister was still glaring.

Raising her eyebrows, Lady Li Mei casually turned her head, glancing at Alba from the corner of her eyes.

"You should listen when your superiors are speaking to you, Young Miss Rosethorne," Marchioness Sharon, Matriarch of House Mistdaisy, scolded gently while failing to hide an amused smile. Marchioness was a step below duchess in nobility, and her status wasn't as high as the illustrious House Rosethorne, but Teresa wasn't recognized in any official capacity - the girl's rank in noble society was closer to being a baroness.

Titled but unimportant.

Teresa shivered. A faint ringing in her ears accompanied a sudden feeling of pressure weighing down on her shoulders, seizing her lungs.

"Marchioness," Lady Li Mei interrupted, shifting her body in a way that blocked Teresa's view of the Mistdaisy Matriarch. She unfolded her fan, waving it lightly in front of her face before openly glancing in Alba's direction. "Surely you would not mock the victim while the villain laughs behind you?"

Marchioness Sharon blushed at the mild reprimand, but Lady Li Mei's statement made the woman turn to follow her gaze.

Alba, standing on a pavilion some distance away, suddenly found herself the center of attention. While the elder Rosethorne daughter was too far away to hear the soft words Lady Li Mei had spoken, those nearby overheard enough.

For some reason none of them could fathom, Lady Li Mei of the Yueluo Clan was protecting Teresa Rosethorne, the ninth daughter originally believed to have offended the Mu Republic dignitary.

The nobles present were more skilled than young Teresa in picking up on subtext. Lady Li Mei's words filled in some newly revealed gaps, exposing their own information as flawed and lacking key points.

It was not Teresa who offended her. In fact, if one had to guess...

The favored daughter of Duchess Marilyn, Alba Rosethorne, was the one who offended the Yueluo! And as a favored daughter, one of three potential heirs being groomed for the position of Duchess, her causing offense had a much greater impact on House Rosethorne's future than young Teresa's would have.

A few nobles not directly involved in the conversation hid smiles behind gloved hands, exchanging glances with their companions. How scandalous!

Marchioness Sharon inclined her head in contrition in recognition of her error, glancing away from Alba without acknowledgment despite having met the younger girl's gaze. Alba visibly paled while her friends began to mutter among themselves. Even if they couldn't hear the conversation, the gesture was clear: a marchioness just snubbed the potential heir of a duchy!

Marchioness Sharon was proud, but not foolish. An experienced manipulator of the High Court, she would never make a mistake like that. Therefore...

It wasn't a mistake.

Teresa gasped, conflicting feelings churning in her stomach. She pressed her hands to her solar plexus and breathed deeply, slowly, attempting to calm the roiling emotions threatening to bubble forth.

Lady Li Mei waved her fan, glancing at Teresa before nodding at the Marchioness. "If you'll excuse me, so much excitement calls for a moment of reflection and refreshment. Please do find me again if you wish to continue our earlier conversation! I eagerly await the enlightenment of your theoretical observations regarding Core formation."

Teresa felt a small hand tugging her sleeve, looking down to find the tiny adjutant dragging her along to follow Lady Li Mei's smooth, flowing footsteps toward a quiet bench on the fringe of the gala crowd.

'Did they... Notice my discomfort?' Teresa wondered, the tips of her ears turning red at the thought of them taking a break for her sake.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

First they helped her, protected her, then even comforted her. In the face of such consideration, remembering her past words and actions brought genuine shame - more so than any previous admonishments or punishments heaped on her shoulders.

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'If I don't get away from these pretentious sticks in the mud, I'm going to vibrate into a new dimension.' Li Mei heaved a sigh, hidden behind her lovely new folding fan, and made her way to a pretty little bench surrounded by flowers.

Her dress was a rush order, specifically designed to be lightweight with breathable fabric. All the same, she continuously circulated mana to keep her temperature and temper both from rising while dealing with the nobility.

Snark, snark, subtle snark... And all the pandering!

It fully confirmed it wasn't only the Rosethornes who held the Yueluo Clan in high regard, which brought problems of its own to the table.

'Will I run into them while I'm here...?' Li Mei wondered as she sat on one side of the bench. 'I wonder, are they under the influence of Erebus, or is it just a personal connection of Faust's? Best case scenario, he's making use of them due to 44's bloodline connection, and neither Faust himself nor that shady organization of his have ties to the clan. Worst case scenario... Would be something like they're completely under Faust's thumb? That would be truly unfortunate. I couldn't use them much in that case.'

The more time she spent in Brittalund, the more ridiculous Faust's connections seemed to be. Faust's cover, Professor Bishop, was a known academic from Seaside Academy. He frequently left Brittalund on long expeditions to uncover lost Progenitor magitech, and rarely returned empty-handed. He was considered eccentric but likable, a fellow who used his generous family fortune and lucky investments to fund his own fanatical research.

It wasn't a single-use throwaway disguise. It was an established cover story! Just like the cover of Adalrich Agilo in Oriole, a reclusive researcher studying Progenitor empowerment serums, according to various research files Li Mei downloaded from their computers. His covers were detailed, intricate, and completely legitimate on the surface. That spoke volumes not only of his own capabilities and resources, but those of Erebus as well.

The more she learned, the more annoyed she got. Dealing with Erebus once Faust was dead... Would be problematic at best, provided she couldn't get any strong backing of her own that wasn't under their control.

Li Mei lightly brushed her fingers against the metal band circling her throat, beneath the high collar of handwoven lace. No one ever seemed to take notice of it. Their eyes brushed right past it whenever the nobles eyed her small stature, thin figure, scandalous dress. They questioned her hairpins, veil cape, and oft lingered on the noble Crest upon her waist, but never even registered the fact she had a collar around her neck.

Faust ordered her not to declare herself a slave to anyone who didn't already know the score.

Why?

Her only hope lay in the Yueluo Clan. If they'd be offended by her status as a slave, perhaps it meant she not only had great value to them despite being an illegitimate child, but also hinted that maybe, just maybe, Faust feared them.

That thought, and its various implications, gave her hope.

But those thoughts were for another time. She refocused on the party, flicking her folding fan open with a quick wrist movement.

Teresa Rosethorne stood demurely to the side, head bowed. Every so often she glanced at Hana, or Li Mei, and the tips of her ears would redden. Whatever silly things the little girl was thinking somehow crafted a favorable impression of her companions.

Li Mei suppressed a chuckle, which turned into a frown when she considered the circumstances.

Of course, the girl probably thought of her as something like a savior. She was so quick to flee her mother's side despite running toward a noble lady she previously was punished for offending, and considering her condition...

Teresa was malnourished, dehydrated, and injured with a mild undiagnosed illness underneath it all. Her health was listed in the Scan tooltip as 65%, down from the 91% she had when they first met.

Even when she wasn't disgraced, she wasn't being taken care of. Li Mei couldn't help tossing a glance toward the pavilion where Duchess Marilyn was receiving guests with a graceful smile on her beautiful face.

'Such a loathsome woman.'

"Sit," Li Mei spoke suddenly, pointing at the Rosethorne girl. The poor thing nearly jumped out of her skin, startled by the sudden sound of Li Mei's voice.

"Ah, m-me? I..." Teresa started to stammer again, perhaps attempting to refuse, but the glare on Li Mei's face made her promptly take a seat on the bench.

"How much do you know of nobility outside your own House?" Li Mei asked, gently fanning herself. She kept her gaze casual, flicking over the crowd without lingering on anyone in particular, occasionally giving a slight nod when she met someone's gaze.

Teresa sat in silence for a few moments, struggle evident on her face. Of course her upbringing would demand she be proud, boastful, perhaps even a little arrogant, yet such behavior already got her in trouble. Because of the person questioning her knowledge, no less!

She was unused to bowing her head before anyone aside from her own family and the Empress, that much was obvious. Getting rid of that mindset was the first step toward nurturing a decent leader.

"True leaders able to maintain their seat of power must be confident, not blindly arrogant. Their confidence must stem from their own abilities, not from a position granted them by something as flimsy as one's bloodline, or the favor of others. Bloodline can be disputed or disparaged, while favor can be bought, sold, or lost. But your capability? That stays with you."

Li Mei fought the urge to shake her head to chase away an echoed whisper from deep in her memories, the familiar voice making her whole body cringe.

"I know about the Houses," Teresa spoke slowly, drawing Li Mei once more out of her own thoughts. "Their specialties, the faces and names of the Matriarchs and their favored daughters. But..." She hesitated again, then averted her gaze to stare pointedly at a nearby cluster of flowers. "I didn't know the Matriarch's interests, the way you did. Their personal research."

'Of course not!' Li Mei scoffed in her heart but kept that thought to herself. She had the advantage of Scan and the Interface in general, but even without them...

Teresa was very young, the youngest of the Rosethorne daughters, and still a child both physically and mentally. She'd naturally lack the connections of her elder sisters, or their resources, even if they weren't all hyper-competitive over the position of favored daughter.

Judging by the looks Alba Rosethorne kept throwing their way, Li Mei felt it safe to hazard a guess about the relationship between the various siblings - strained, contentious.

Hostile.

Teresa was too immature to survive such an environment unscathed. She'd eventually become a tool, wielded by one of her sisters against the other, or fall victim to their machinations.

But that also put her in a convenient position for Li Mei to make use of. Especially as the girl viewed her as a savior rather than antagonist!

'If it were me in her shoes, back when I was still an inexperienced child... I would have blamed the person I offended, rather than myself or those who punished me,' Li Mei thought, a tinge of melancholy haunting her thoughts. Teresa's lack of resentment was really throwing her for a loop. 'My way of thinking was so warped by my surroundings, self-reflection would have been out of the question. Teresa's already miles ahead of where I was at that age, emotionally speaking. A level-headed young noble... Could certainly be very useful. Marilyn is practically throwing her away, I might as well sweep up!'

"How..."

Teresa's voice made Li Mei glance over at the girl, who was fidgeting on the bench. Li Mei smiled and closed her fan, tapping it against the girl's shoulder. A light move, but one that made her flinch in surprise. Li Mei pressed her lips into a thin line before speaking. "Go on, then."

"How do you... The noble ladies, you... You look my age, Lady Li Mei. But when you speak, the other ladies listen. Even my mother... How... Do you do it?"

"Confidence, not arrogance." Li Mei said softly, flicking her fan back open and using it to hide the movement of her lips from curious onlookers. Teresa glanced at her in surprise, eyebrows raised. "They can tell the difference from my bearing. What you have shown them, if it is what I saw in the lapidary, was only arrogance."

"Only commoners mistake a noble's pride for arrogance," Teresa whispered. Not as contradiction, but as though parroting the lessons hammered into her from infancy.

"You can be confident and proud without being arrogant. Arrogance leads to overestimating yourself while underestimating your enemies, something which has brought many an empire to its knees." As much as it pained her to admit, that advice she received as a young girl remained her truest support throughout her life on Earth. Li Mei spoke the words with care, as though afraid they'd turn around and bite her tongue upon unleashing them into this world as well. "Confidence must stem from one's own abilities, not from a position granted by something as flimsy as one's bloodline, or the favor of others. Bloodline can be disputed or disparaged, while favor can be bought, sold, or lost. But your capability? Your capabilities are your own. Pride only in a name, one which was gifted and not earned, rings hollow. Be proud not only of your name, or your lineage, but of yourself and your accomplishments. Only then will you have a regal bearing."

"I don't have any accomplishments..." Teresa said, her voice little more than a sigh as it drifted lower and lower.

SNAP!

Li Mei closed her fan with a sharp wrist flick, using it to tilt the girl's chin up, forcing Teresa to meet her gaze. "Will you remain that way? A fleeting shadow on the wall? Do you intend to never do anything with your life?"

"N-no, of course not!" Teresa found her voice again, furrowing her brows. Though she stammered, the look in her eyes was steady.

Li Mei smiled. "Then borrow from the future. Make a promise to your future self, and accomplish something for her sake, to make up for the debt of confidence. So she won't be angry that you used some of hers."

"Borrow... From the future..." Teresa repeated, her emerald eyes glazing over as her thoughts turned inward.

Leaving the girl to her thoughts, Li Mei Scanned the crowd once more.

She was one of the last to arrive, but not the final guest. After she showed up and caused a ruckus, there was also Duchess Calli Lilyvale, Countess Silene Jasminefield and Marchioness Freesia Southflax. They each took their time greeting Duchess Marilyn, so Li Mei had to find an opportunity to meet them later before the party's end.

'Rosethorne, Lilyvale, and Goldclover are duchies. Asterbank, Mistdaisy, and Southflax are marches. Noirdahlia, Whiteheath, and Jasminefield are counties, assisted by viscounts Rivermallow, Highlotus, and Poppyvine. That's a whole lot of flowers...' Li Mei sighed to hide a laugh, not wanting to disturb the girl still deep in thought.

Twelve Houses made up the High Court, while various lesser baronies constituted the majority of Brittalund's vast peerage. There were several other high ranking titled families, but they lacked the deep roots and backing evidenced by the twelve Houses. Even a Viscountess of the High Court was considered more important than a duchess from an outlying family!

'First are the arrivals, then the meet and greet. Guests will mingle and network. Before now it was just polite conversation and gossip, no business, but that changes once all important guests have arrived. Then once everyone's had a chance to chat, the Duchess will introduce the evening entertainment. Or so Lucas said was the standard order of operations for these parties,' Li Mei thought, rising to her feet. With the arrival of the nearly tardy Marchioness Freesia, stage two would begin. Conversations would be encouraged in earnest, and Li Mei would be able to finish her Quest.

Hana was already at her side, waiting quietly and on her best behavior despite how boring the party must have been for her. Teresa stood seconds after Li Mei did, her eyes still unfocused, moving according to some sort of aristocratic autopilot her noble upbringing installed in her young subconscious.

Li Mei tapped the girl on the brow with her index finger and offered a smile once she snapped back to reality. "Come, little Rosethorne. Watch carefully. Let us practice your confidence."