Once upon a time,

there was no time. 

In fact, there was nothing.

But then, suddenly, for apparently no reason at all, there was something.

This something was a gigantic burst of energy and light. And as it spread into the nothing, a lot of shit happened. 

Division by multiplication— that was the way of this immense, busy blob of energy expanding into the nothing. Growth upon growth upon growth. So much growth. Atoms compounded into elements which compounded into stars and comets and asteroids and planets and all sorts of shit.

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This went on for a long while, an evolutionary beat playing out over eons. A rhythm. A song. 

Eventually, in one particular galaxy, near one particular star, on one particular planet, biological organisms formed. All kinds of them. Little cellular meat machines, all with varying degrees of cognitive ability. They scurried and swam and flapped on the surface of this one particular planet with its perfect temperatures and protective atmosphere.

As the rhythm continued, one particular breed of these organisms developed to the point they achieved self-awareness. This self-awareness made them think they were special-- that all this something was created exclusively for them. 

After all, what was the point? Why have all this something and no one here to witness it? 

Their newfound consciousness allowed the organisms to manipulate their environment, to harness the energy of the infinitely-expanding blob. They called this ability, “technology”. 

And as you can imagine, shit got totally cray after that.