The man who killed Ellie was dead and disfigured beyond recognition.

But nothing really changed.

All he could do was hold her.

'No going back. If I had done something before, said something earlier, or left earlier. Maybe I wouldn't have made him so angry if I hadn't drunk.

No. None of those. The one at fault isn't Ellie or me.

He wouldn't have acted so arrogantly and had such self-confidence if he didn't have his ability.

She would still be alive if the wrong person didn't have an ability.

I don't know how to proceed from here. My purpose for living, my heart feels like it has faded into a fog. Like my insides are gone.'

Heroes have always been a part of Sirus' identity. Awakeners were perfect beings that used their abilities to help others, even at the cost of their own lives; they protected people. The weak who couldn't protect themselves. But his man had shattered that notion for Sirus. Awakeners were no different than the shittiest people. All they had was an ability. Nothing else changed when they awakened.

1 Month Later

Sirus was destroyed; a month of crying and depression had taken its toll. He was a husk of what he had been, with no joy, no humor, and barely any life. The only thought that gave him any satisfaction at this point was the thought of suicide and the ending of his suffering, but he wasn't ever able to do it.

Though that never stopped him from trying. His arms were covered in scars, and he pressed a knife to his neck when someone knocked on the door.

The man outside the door was of more diminutive stature, wearing a suit with a large briefcase in his hand. He was wearing a nametag identifying him as Aaron Johnston and a member of the Hero Association, a worldwide organization of heroes closely linked to the respective governments of the countries it was a part of.

"Excuse me? Is this the house of Sirus Navarro? This is Aaron Johnston with the Hero Assocation. I have a matter regarding your sister's death and her killer, Nicholas Chan."

By this point, Sirus knew the name Nicholas Chan extremely well. Sirus was taken into police custody for a short period while it was discussed whether his actions were legal self-defense, which it was eventually decided to be. The whole experience was strange, and he never liked how the situation felt with the lawyers. He opened the door for the man, slowly leading him to the dining room, thinking that this meeting would be more prodding about the events of that night.

"Hello, Mr. Navarro; I am here with a settlement offer regarding your sister's death."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand what you mean by that."

"Well, the estate of Mr. Chan highly condemns his actions with the strongest possible terms and wants to offer you a sum of 100,000$ for your loss. This, of course, is not an admittance of fault on behalf of Mr. Chan, but the estate feels a non-obligatory need to indemnify you for your loss monetarily."

"Thank you. This was really unexpected and more than appreciated. I will never forgive him, but this is an amazing gesture on the part of his estate."

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"I am pleased to hear that! Separately, I have a small document that I would appreciate if you signed, which would mean you understand that Ms. Ellie Navarro's death isn't the fault of the Chan Estate, and you agree to not talk about the events of the night of her death publicly or to others in the future."

Unbeknownst to Sirus, the brother of Nicholas Chan, Andrew Chan, was also an awakener and trying to become the leader of the Georgia division of the Hero Association. As such, he didn't want news like his brother being a murderer to become public.

"Are you fucking serious? What kind of insult is that? Was that the entire intention of giving me this alleged remuneration or whatever? So, I wouldn't slander the good name of a murderer? This is a disgrace to my sister, you goddamn clown!"

Aaron sat there quietly, not responding to what Sirus said, waiting for him to sit back down.

"Before we continue, may I ask something? Would your sister be happier if you were to take revenge on parties unrelated to the event of her death or take the money and live the best life you can?"

Sirus leaned back in his chair, unsure of what to do. He felt that taking money for her death would be different than monetizing her death, but at the same time, he felt she would be happy that he could get something to live a little easier.

"If they're unrelated, why are you here? If they're not related, then why is it a problem."

"Well, my client is averse to bad publicity, and even if he is not directly related to the death, news of the events could put him in a bad light."

Sirus sat there in silence for quite a long time, much longer than Aaron thought he would, but eventually caved and signed the contract and agreed not to talk about what happened.

Six Months Later

Sirus was still suffering from a severe form of depression, but it improved from what it had been. In a rare moment of motivation, Sirus went to a training facility to get his abilities rated.

Like an average human, exercise and practice can boost physical abilities. But similarly, a lack of exercise causes muscle atrophy and a loss of physical capabilities. Over the past seven months, Sirus had completely neglected working out. However, he still had hope that his physical capabilities hadn't diminished too much from when he used to practice often. As such, he wanted a numerical value given to his abilities, something a training facility would give him. He wanted the hope that would come with the lack of huge loss of his strength.

But such a thing didn't happen. When he did get himself rated, it was an enormous disappointment. Not just because all the numbers were low but because they were lower than they had been in the past.

It took a toll on Sirus, with each passing day killing his spirit more and more. His depression kept him from being motivated enough to exercise substantially, and the loss of power contributed to his depression. Each day blended together, becoming a blob of sadness and self-hatred, unrelenting in its pressure.

Eventually, Sirus had the will to do something, just not directly. He used the money from the lawyer to enroll in Shoshone Academy, an awakener school in Wyoming that took in students from all over the country to help them practice their skills safely and educate them on monsters.

Sirus had always wanted to attend such a school, but one for heroes. Schools like that were much harder to get into and trained students to help others and be moral in addition to fighting. However, given that Sirus had murdered someone, even in self-defense, he was rejected from even applying to a hero school. Shoshone was for people who might become bodyguards, awakener police, or some similar career, just not a hero.

As cities were more likely to have monsters appear, they were hubs for heroes, and many flocked to larger cities to find fame and fortune with their abilities. Unfortunately, this led to hubris, and heroes often died, which only contributed to the respect and fame heroes received. Mercenaries trained at Shoshone could only be hired as guards or stand-ins for heroes when there was an incident where many heroes died, and the safety of citizens was at risk.

Though it wasn't a hero school, it didn't matter to Sirus; it was a step forward in a good direction, something he desperately wanted. He was going to become someone who could save others, be the strong one who protected the weak.

Sirus went to bed with a hopeful look in his eyes, a quickly beating heart, and the change in his life finally becoming real just the next day. It might not be a hero school, but it was close. Tossing and turning, unable to get the thoughts of new strength, new skills, and new happiness, was too much to fall asleep on. But eventually, he fell asleep, sleeping longer than he had since her death.