“You’ll never succeed,” Professor Braswel laughed at Benjamin as he doled out the finals. “You’ll never be more than you are now- a petty waiter. So I hope you like your job, boy, because as far as I’m concerned, you may as well not even return to class after the break. There’s no way you’ll catch up to everyone else. You’re a failure; just quit,” he said as the class chuckled in encouragement of the professor.
Images of that moment flashed behind Benjamin’s eyes as he walked to work for the 12th day in a row. “I hate the holidays,” he said with a sigh. “No days off and no one tips. At least I’m not wasting my time anymore,” Benjamin said, he stopped in front of a mound of dirt at the most recent construction site to pop up in the ever growing city. the city was constantly being remodeled out with the old in with the new is what he’d always heard but in his heart he really just wished things would go back to the way they were. Wondering how long he’d been out of it this time he peered down at his watch. “Holy shit, I’m going to be late for work, and Adam’s been on my ass about punctuality.”
Benjamin ran through Main Street towards his job, but-unless he took a shortcut, he’d be late for work. He didn’t normally take the darkened back streets because the city could be rough especially at this time of day but today he had no other choice. He knew Adam, his boss wouldn’t let him slide if he was late again. So he cut through alley after alley, street after street, as he ran until he saw the neon lights that spoke of good food and better beer. He sighed in relief as he neared the door. He stopped just outside and peered down at his watch, three minutes to spare. Thank God he thought as he walked through the employee entrance. Adam was waiting for him at the back door.
“You’re late,” Adam said.
“What are you talking about, bro? I’ve got three minutes to spare.”
“Check your employee manual. It’s either 5 minutes early or you’re late, son,” the large man said.
“I’m not sure that’s legal,” Benjamin said under his breath.
“What was that?” Adam said.
“Nothing. I’ll get out there. It looked really busy,” Benjamin said.
“It sure is. We have several party reservations, and since you’re late, I’ve set them to be in everyone else’s section. You’ll be running backup tonight for everyone else. Maybe you’ll be on time tomorrow,” Adam said, turning to go back into his office. “I’ve got paperwork to get done.”
“Sure thing, boss,” Benjamin said through gritted teeth.
As my shift progressed, The rest of the team were not splitting tips, or at least it didn’t seem like they were. The cooks were even more cold than they usually were, but I kept my chin up. I knew all I had to do was stay positive, or at least that’s what my dad always told me before his death.
As my shift continued on, I let my mind wander back to a time when it all started to go bad. When everything got more complicated. In truth, my life had been going pretty good. I was a top student at a top college studying biology as a precursor to becoming a doctor. Everything was great. I had an amazing girl and a million prospects, but cancer is a horrible thing. Only a month after the doctors found that mass of cells that had mutated into a time bomb in his stomach, my father passed away. One day he was happily working on the farm; the next, he was vomiting blood. And no one knew. After his death, I didn’t have the strength to do anything. I laid in bed, letting the world pass me by. The first thing to slip were my grades. The university pretended to care, with their forced grief counseling and their letters of encouragement and faux sympathy, but the second I began receiving failing grades, they put me on academic probation. It became a slippery slope, one I couldn’t climb out of. When they revoked my scholarship, Ami, my girlfriend, left me. She said she had lost faith in my ability to provide for her. The whole situation was garbage. I thought we were partners, but I guess partners need to be on equal footing. Everything had piled up one after another, my grades fell to the point that the dean decided to revoke my scholarship. My girlfriend left me. Hell, even my dog had run away and within a month of his death, I had lost everything I held dear to me. but I had to stay positive. For him. But for now I had to pull myself out of my self loathing and get to work. “Come on Ben focus,” I said under my breath.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
My shift finally ended as it began to rain, and we were all in the back gossiping. Although I didn’t participate, I still wanted to hang out with my one-time friends.
“Oh my god, I made a thousand bucks tonight. It was an amazing night,” Tammy said.
“Lucky. I only made 500,” Scott said. “How about you, Benjamin? How much did you make?”
“I made, uhm, like 50 bucks. It’s okay though,” I said, rubbing my neck with a long sigh.
“Hey, man, we all have bad nights,” Scott said, slipping me 100 bucks out of his tips. I tried to push them away, but he insisted. When I pulled my hand back, he placed it on the prep table next to us. “I’m gonna leave it here. If you don’t take it, someone else will.” I slipped the money into my pockets.
Scott nodded. “There you go, man. You get some food. You’re getting a little too skinny. You’ll never find a girl if you don’t have a little meat on your bones.” I walked over to the bathroom to relieve myself, but before I could get there, Adam called me into his office.
“Do you know why you’re here?” Adam asked.
“At this job, or…” I asked quizzically.
“In my office, dummy,” Adam said.
“I have no idea. I was headed to the bathroom,” I said.
“Well, we’ve gotten several complaints about a waiter who just seems depressed. It’s not a good look,” he said.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” I said with a huff.
“Listen, I know you’ve had one hell of a year,” Adam said. “But can you really say you enjoy anything right now?”
I looked at him, knowing what was coming next. “I’m fired, aren’t I?” I asked.
“What? No, that wouldn’t be fair to you. Listen, you have some vacation time saved up. You need to reset. You need to find your happy place. And you need to figure out who you are again,” he said. “So starting today, you’re not allowed back here for, I don’t know, let’s say three weeks, paid vacation.”
“But I only have a week saved up,” I said.
“Yeah, and the name on the sign says Adam’s Place. I’m giving you three weeks, and when you come back, you better be back to your old self. Or else, you know, I don’t know, I’ll probably fire you or something,” Adam said.
“Thanks, boss. I knew you were not as much of a hard ass as they all say.” I said as a weak attempt at humor.
“Don’t go telling anyone I’ve gone soft," he said with a chuckle but really man, I'm worried about you take all the time you need and just know you’ll always have a home here when you’re ready.” Adam said with a sigh. “Anyways, do you have any more questions for me, bud.” He asked, slapping me roughly on the shoulder.
“Yeah I’ve got a question.” I said with a smirk “Can I go to the bathroom now?”
“Go,” he chuckled. “I’ll see you back here five minutes early in three weeks.”
Washing my hands after I was done, I took a chance and looked in the mirror. I had aged a lot over the last year. It’s amazing the effect anxiety and depression can have on your body. I’d lost about 50 lbs, leaving me a true husk of what I’d been. My clothes draped over me like they were made of recycled curtains and tailored by a seamstress who was afraid of cutting her fabric. I swam in my shirts, and I was nothing compared to who I was before. A tear fell from my hollow and listless eyes. If I was a pet, my owner would put me out of my misery. “Stay positive,” I muttered under my breath.
I walked out of the bathroom and towards the back door, passing Adam’s office on the way.
“It’s really coming down out there. Do you want me to call you a cab?” Adam said without looking up from his paperwork.
“Nah, I’ll be okay,” I said, stepping out into the rainy city streets.
Lightning struck overhead. “One, two,” I counted off the seconds, knowing it took about 5 seconds per mile for the sound to make it to you. “At least it’s a little bit off from where I am,” I said with a small smile. “Look at me being all positive and stuff. Dad would be proud,” I thought with a chuckle.
Another lightning strike. “One,” was all I got too before I was pummeled with the sound of the thunder this time. “Shit, I should get going. The center of this storm is getting closer.”
Suddenly, lightning began landing all around me, one right after another. There was no place to run, no place to go. I knew I was in danger, but as the strikes landed closer and closer, a sense of calm washed over me. I knew I would likely die, but at least I’d be with Dad and Mom again.
A flash overtook my vision, burning at first, but then calming. It became the light that I’d always been told to walk towards, and that’s just what I did. I walked towards it, letting it overtake my body, my mind, and my soul. Then it all ended.