The Heister

Friday, 1st of January, 198 A.C, 18:05

“Cold. Tired. Fly? Can’t fly? Can’t fly. Walk? PAIN. Pain. Limp? Less pain. Shelter. People? No people. Inside. Warmer. Still cold. Hungry. Happy. But… sad. Sad and happy. Why sad and happy? Why cold? Why warm? Why… me? ME. Why me? How me? HOW?” - ???

The Fool stood at the top of the rubble pile and tugged on a rope he must have hung while we were distracted by the Derogant.

~So that’s their play

Dip through the roof once they had an opportunity. Made sense, but it had one glaring weakness.

~Please don’t

I charged towards the pile. The Shortstop wound up for a pitch, but a report from the Deadeye’s rifle knocked the ball out of his hand and sent him spinning like a top. Something whizzed past my leg and nailed the Berzerker. She was out cold before she hit the ground.

~Guess he finally gave up on trying to hit the Deadeye

I leapt over a low slash from the Derogant, then ducked under a high swing from the Fool. I passed the pile and the Magpie – too busy shoveling cases into one of her portals to notice me – and approached my target.

I slammed into the Tinkerer, sending us both tumbling off the platform. As they gasped for air I grabbed them by the shirt and hauled them to the back of the room.

“It’s been nice meeting you,” I snarled. “How about an icebreaker?” I drew my handgun and held it to the Tinkerer’s head.

A flash of movement from the platform drew my gaze. The Derogant had recovered his pistol and presently leveled it at me.

He narrowed his eyes. “And how exactly do you expect this to go? Taking a hostage with Knockout rounds.”

I smirked. “You guys don’t strike me as the type to leave a friend behind. And besides, who said this piece was loaded with Knockout?” I pulled back the hammer. The Derogant twitched.

~I did

Rude.

I looked to the catwalk and caught the red gaze of the Deadeye’s Veil.

“Hey, Heister?” the Tinkerer said, sandwiched between my arm and chest. “I hate to dip out early buuuuuuut…” They punched a button on their waist and the exoskeleton on their leg shot to life. “I’ve got a few moves of my own.”

I doubled over as a boot slammed into me, dropping my bat, revolver, and hostage. I knew what came next, but my body refused to do anything about it. A dull TUNK accompanied a sting in my side that quickly turned into a spreading numbness. I stumbled back into the wall.

~Oop. Sleepy time?

I scraped my hands against the wall, but couldn’t get any purchase. Above, the glow coming off the Deadeye’s Veil intensified. The meaty K-TUNK of her rifle was followed by a yelp from the Derogant.

~No need to feel bad about ducking out

I gave up on getting to my feet and instead looked for my gun. Only a few feet away. I heard a click, followed quickly by some colorful language from the Deadeye.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I clawed my way over and grabbed my revolver. Ahead of me, the Tinkerer was dragging the Derogant onto the platform. Smoke curled around her leg.

I leveled my aim and squeezed the trigger. I could’ve sworn I had the Tinkerer in my sights, but the shot went wide. The Fool was to their right, looking at me with red behind his eyes. I growled and fired again. No luck.

~I’ve had about enough of this guy

Yeah, me too.

Another shot came from the Deadeye’s position, but, astoundingly, it missed its mark as well.

~So drunk that even her Veil can’t help

The Tinkerer took out a mechanism from their pants pocket and hooked it up to the rope. They pressed a button on it, causing five harnesses to shoot out and attach to them and their allies.

“Going up!”

They flicked a switch and the gizmo shot up the rope, jerking its passengers along behind. The Derogant, Tinkerer, and Shortstop flew up and over the opening in the ceiling without incident. The unconscious Derogant and the Fool were less lucky, slamming into the ceiling before the rope dragged them through the hole.

~You’ve really got to hand it to them there, that’s clever

Quiet, you.

I stumbled my way onto the platform, not quite fast enough to catch the rope before it slid out of reach. It disappeared through the hole, along with our chance of continuing the fight. Or, well, my chance. The Berzerker was still snoozing, the Deadeye was too plastered to do much of anything, and the Runner must’ve been soundly trounced by the Fool during my escapade, since he was leaning on the side of the platform, Veil on and windows to the world shuttered.

The Fool’s voice came down through the hole in the ceiling. “You know, you all aren’t half bad. Made us pull out the contingencies!”

“Tell that to my sleepy friends!” I called back.

“No, we mean it!” That was the Tinkerer. “You guys were super cool!” Their voice deepened in imitation. “Who said this piece was loaded with Knockout?” They laughed. “Chills! Almost fell for it too!”

“Wait, how did you-”

“That gun was *right up on me.* You think I wouldn’t notice the position of the switch? Totally had the Derogant fooled though!”

The Tinkerer’s cackling was met with grumbling. “I was only worried for your safety, Tinkerer. I wish you would craft something to *really* defend yourself with.”

“I took care of myself just fine, thank you very much!”

The Fool interrupted the bickering. “In any event! I think we can all agree that the last thing we want is for you to come after us with your full squad in tow. So, we’d like to give you this as a token of goodwill.”

Their ‘token’ glinted as it fell through the hole. I caught it out of the air and held it out to get a look. It was a dark purple gem, about the size of my palm. It was probably an illusion, but black mist seemed to swirl around inside of it.

~Oh

Oh.

“That’s what you were after, right? You get the bounty, we get the loot. Sounds like a fair trade to me! Although I will say, the Magpie isn’t too pleased.”

The Magpie muttered something in response, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

I cleared my throat. “Alright, yeah. We’re cool.”

The Fool clicked his tongue. “Cool! Best of luck then!”

There was a pause, and for a second I thought they had left. Then the Tinkerer called down again. “Oh! Before I forget! You know that lamp hanging from the ceiling?”

“Hard to miss it.”

“You *might* want to cover your head.”

The lamp began to brighten. I ducked down as the lamp exploded, sending bits of broken glass and scrap metal raining down.

“Thanks for the warning,” I said flatly.

“You’re welcome! Actually, one more thing. Do you think you could toss up my crutches? Busted leg and all that. Thanks!”

They knew I was still shaking off a Knockout round, right? I let out a huff, retrieved the crutches, and flung them through the hole. I got another ‘thanks’ from the Tinkerer. Soon after, I heard footsteps fading into the distance.

Leaving me alone.

~In the dark

With 3 conked out Veiled to drag back to civilization.

~Got the gem at least

I sighed.