A hard stone floor greeted me. My fragile body was sprawled against it, subservient to the whims of gravity.

And only by succumbing to its force could I turn my head to have a sideways look around me.

There were lines, markings that sprawled around me that eclipsed the horizon of the floor before it became the walls.

Some markings were charred to charcoal, some boiled and crackled like burnt caramel and small grains of chalk shone like they had just been spat out of a furnace.

Everything was numb, and my eyelids were about to succumb to gravity once more.

I thought about moving, moving something, moving anything.

I couldn’t tell what did, but my ears picked something up above me.

Then something soft, cloth of some kind, began wrapping its way around my shoulders.

It was then that my eyelids closed.

Then they opened.

I was in a roofed bed, a roofed medieval bed. And the first thing that came to mind was down there.

I checked under the covers quickly. Everything was in order, and someone had even given me underwear. That was a relief, or was it? I was very, very thin now, almost to the point where I could see my ribcage.

Then I heard her.

“Hey there.” a voice called out to me. Something about it felt off, like I wasn’t really hearing it properly, like it had been processed through a voice changer or something...

Then she entered the room. I was just under six foot, so both of us were similar in height, but I think it was the first time I’d seen someone with such white skin. Not in the Scandinavian or Russian sense mind you, but an opaque albino white. Her face had a naturally smug, cat-like smile to it while her translucent snow hair was braided into a tight flower bun. The autumnal cloak she wore blocked her figure for the most part, but above all else were those protruding, light white-ish pink bat ears that almost gave her another head to work with. She was a… bat-woman?

“Oh come on, am I really that scary? See, I brought you some porridge.” She said, moving forward with a small wooden tray to place on what had been my unconscious lap. The thick steam caught me off guard for a moment as I lifted off the bowl lid.

“I imagine you have a lot of questions, so we’ll take it nice and simple for now, alright? Let’s start off with your name then…” She asked, sitting herself at the edge of the bed.

My name… oh yeah it’s Amaiishi Satoshi.

Wait, I have to do it the Western way around…

Satoshi Amaiishi.

Wait, she’s a westerner so I doubt that she’ll even be able to say my full name anyway. Guess I have to use my nickname here.

“Ash Satoshi Amaiishi.” Thankfully that name was too nerdy to really get bullied over.

She looked kind of puzzled for a while and then replied back “Ash Satoshi Amaiishi… you Summoned have pretty weird names, you know that.”

“What’s your name then?”

“Ynqths Hereid Seraien.”

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…

“Yeah, welcome to my world. Everyone just calls me Inks anyway.”

“I usually use Ash when I’m travelling too. People can’t say a name as soon as it reaches over three syllables from what I’ve dealt with. To be perfectly honest I’m pretty surprised that you’re also able to speak Japanese.”

“Japanese? Oh, I think that’s one of the names that comes up in the books. I’m not actually speaking it.”

“So then how come we were able to have a complete conversation just now?”

“It’s Runic, something of a… universal arcane language. From the Quasyn I’ve talked to- I mean those who have crossed Dimensions into this one at least, I heard a name come up again and again which is… Google Translate?”

“So… it’s the Google Translate of languages?”

“Yep. A Lingua Franca. Although, you’re still going to have to learn Vlachy regardless, and pretty quickly at that. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Ah…”

“You want to ask any questions?”

“Where am I?”

“Hmmm… how much do you know about… oh what's the name that all the Summoned use for this place… ah! The Danube! That’s the name!”

There was only one answer I could give to that.

“What the fuck’s a Danube?”

“I-err- Hmm…”

Inks had to think about that for a moment.

“Okay, so you know… Europe, that’s it right?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a river to the north of… Greece? Yeah that’s it, except it’s also not, because apparently your Danube feeds into the Dragon Sea instead of the Byalomar which is obviously not your name for it- Ugh… I need my maps…”

“I know how to read a map if that helps. It was a part of my job after all.”

“Oh, that’s good. What did you do?”

“I was a Real Estate Agent. I sold houses.”

The awkward shocked realization on Inks’ face showed me how bad of an answer that was.

“So you were a merchant of… building supplies, then?”

“Inks. Why is that a bad answer?”

“Because the last person I summoned sold himself to the Rats.”

“The last person you summoned?”

“Yep, an entire Empire of Rats is going to attack this castle.” Inks smiled, completely dodging the question. “Oh, and also I made you a Vampire.”

“YOU MADE ME A WHAT!” I cried, Inks just in time catching the tray of porridge before it spilled everywhere.

“Don’t worry, I was and am completely prepared for this scenario.”

“WHY WOULD YOU BE PREPARED FOR-” My throat grew hoarse and I had to slow down.

“This is a Vampire Castle. Dealing with Vampires is our specialty.”

“And Vampires suck blood, right?”

“Yeah, we drink from people, not animals. Trust me, you do not want to try to drink from something that bucks or stampedes. It’s not impossible, mind you, but would you rather try to pin someone down and maybe lose some teeth, or be diplomatic and ask someone who’d be interested in you?”

We both blankly stared at each other for a very awkward moment before I answered the only way I knew how.

“Well I’m screwed here-”

“H-H-Hey! Don’t be down so quickly! I’ll have you know that women love Vampires!”

“Bullshit!”

“Bulllshit your Bullshit! Women love having the nape of their neck tickled with… by someone they trust…”

“And why would they trust someone who just wants their blood?”

“Because here, where Vampire are actually in power because we’re a borderland, we are the way that people can get into a Court, develop their network-”

“Oh no.”

“Oh don’t worry, if they piss you off enough you can always promote them to a higher office to be eaten by a Dragon.”

“... A Dragon.”

“Eaten in both senses of the word, by the way.” Inks smiled.

My mouth sealed itself shut. I looked back down at the porridge, imagining a miniature girl floating to the surface of the porridge, arms out, asking to be eaten. I quickly lost my appetite.

So I looked up to Inks, smiled an office worker’s smile and asked, “Do you mind if I have some time to eat this?”

“Sure!” Inks shrugged before sitting up. “I’m going to grab some books and maps. Lord Vladimir is going to put me in the stocks again if I don’t get you up to speed fast.”

“‘Again’?” I asked before she smiled and left me to the porridge and my imagination.