Chapter 1: A somewhat unconventional childhood

Cecile’s letter said mom is gone. There was a shootout at the club, and they have taken her away. Before you ask, Mom is a vampire. She’d been through worse. I suppose that raises some immediate questions. Let me start over.

I never knew my real parents. I’m pretty sure mom killed them both, but I never asked. If you think it’s strange I never asked, that’s because you don’t know me very well. Mom decided to keep me. Maybe it was a trace of human emotion, or perhaps simple utility, but you know what I think? I think she was curious. She found a baby and decided it would be interesting to raise it. Mom’s hobbies were always a bit peculiar.

Mom is minor nobility in her clan. Owns a night club, the kind that’s fancy in the front and dirty in the back. You know the deal. I grew up fast, as is usually the case when one spends their childhood among creatures of the night. Mom being nobility meant I met some fancy people, so there’s that. Mom being a vampire, I came face to face with death a few times before I even turned ten. I was always a smart kid, and being smart as a kid means mastering one’s home environment. I learned to talk to all kinds of people: politicians, businessmen, prostitutes, drug dealers, hit-men, you get the deal. Then there were the undersiders: warlocks, demons, anyone who might be friendly with a vampire.

Speaking of vampires. You’ve read the books, you’ve seen the movies, you probably already feel confused about what is true and what is not. Believe me, even I got some of it confused on occasion. When you have to remember details about multiple supernatural species, all while being bombarded by stories that each tell a different tale – in short, I get it. I’ll try not to make it too hard on you, tell you what you need to know and assume you already know the rest. I promise I won’t make it long; I just prefer not to pause later in the middle of the good stuff just to tell you something boring. I know it’s unconventional and therefore a bad choice, but that’s my way of telling you I don’t care all that much what you think of me.

So, vampires. Immortal, beautiful, drink human blood. You knew all that. What you might not have known: they don’t have a human psyche. So no “I’m a vampire but actually I’m a person just like you”, sorry. Vampires are considered psychopaths by many human warlocks, but that’s not entirely true. Vampires have their own psychology, which happens to be different from our human one. They are built to manipulate us into entering dark alleys and getting our blood sucked. They are intelligent, which made it possible for them to coexist with human magical authorities. They won’t kill their prey unless they have to; but that is only because it’s part of the agreement. Still, most of them aren’t interesting in killing – it’s all about the blood. Blood is feeding and fucking at the same time, though no human can imagine what it feels like for them. They can have regular sex, and some claim they do enjoy it, but vampires are a bunch of liars. Truth is, sex is only a tool for them. They get nothing out of it. The easiest way to tell that they’re lying is if they act human: they look sad? Lies. They look happy? Lies. They look alien and incomprehensible? Probably also lies, but there’s a small chance they are showing you their real self. Vampires aren’t as sociable as humans, but they do have their own societies. So naturally, they have conventions for behaving among themselves. Though they are lying to each other constantly, too. You know how when wolf cubs play-fight with each other it’s actually how they train to fight and hunt? Young vampires play-lie to each other as training for manipulating humans.

Mom could have manipulated me into anything she wanted, which is why it’s so strange to me that she chose to tell me the truth. How do I know it’s the truth, you might ask. Maybe I was manipulated after all. What can I tell you? If I am manipulated, obviously I’d be blind to it. That’s how it works. But manipulation tends to fail an intelligent investigation, because reality tends to not care what your parents chose to tell you. Most of what Mom told me about the underside I have verified for myself. Could she have hidden a huge lie among the truths? Definitely. But honestly, I don’t care. The most important thing you need to know about me and mom is this: She raised me with all the love a boy could ask for from his mother. If there’s a secret plan, I just don’t care. I owe her my life, and would gladly give it away for her sake. Human mothers – healthy ones – can’t help but love their children. My mother cannot feel love, and yet she acted like she did, because she knew that’s what a human child needs in order to grow strong and healthy. Do you get it now?

Back to vampire 101: silver can work, as it works on most undersiders, but unlikely to kill a vampire. A wooden stake through their heart will paralyze them, but only because it prevents their heart from healing. A plastic or metal stake would work just as well. Yes, they have a pulse. They aren’t dead and aren’t undead – they’re alive. That’s the part that pisses people off the most, but sorry, I’m not making the rules here. They are cold to the touch, but most can learn to control their temperature. Garlic kind of works against them; it doesn’t hurt them, but they really hate the stuff. Crosses will work if a warlock uses them to focus his magic, but so would any object with symbolic importance. Sunlight kills them rather quickly. It burns them – not in the burst-into-flames kind of way, more like in the pale-skinned-guy-was-left-in-the-desert-sun-for-too-long kind of way, only they die in a matter of minutes under direct exposure.

Me? I’m not important. I’m a twenty-eight year old guy raised by a vampire. I’m a regular human as far as I can tell, but you know what? Humans are the masters of adaptation, and I had to adapt to a very strange environment. I can feel anything a human can feel; but I was raised by a vampire incapable of human feelings; but she had mastered the play-act of human emotion, and raised me like a loving human mother. Are you confused yet? Imagine what I had to go through. That’s what was always missing for me in stories of the supernatural – otherworldly beings were always either human beings with superpowers or killers with the psychological complexity of an alligator. Real magical creatures – a stupid name by the way, which is why I prefer ‘undersiders’ – each have their own unique psychology. They are often intelligent, complex, and yet almost alien. I can’t promise I’ll be able to give you an accurate representation of that, as a human being cannot truly comprehend a consciousness other than his own – and I’m still human. But unlike all those stories you have read, I grew up with these creatures. So I have some advantage.

I left home when I was fifteen. Haven’t been back since. I traveled, I worked, I slept around, got into fights, became a warlock, you know the deal. I’m pretty good at talking people into doing what I want, but I’m nothing compared to mom. Besides, talking can only get you so far. If you lived the life you know: sometimes violence is all you have. I’m good at that too, if you don’t mind me saying. Seeing what I’ve seen, I knew early on I’d have to learn how to protect myself. I’m confident in a normal fight, and adding what I picked up in the darker arts, even a few human men are not much of a threat to me. Being human, I’m still near the bottom of the food chain when it comes to real strength, of course. As strong as I am, mom could kill me in a heartbeat. And mom was never all that strong.

So yea, we’re basically friends now, right?

Just kidding. I don’t know you.

I’ve been staying in this one place for about a month when Cecile’s letter came. I don’t know how she found me, but with magic it’s not that hard. Especially since I wasn’t hiding. The letter didn’t say much, but it didn’t need to. I know Cecile, and I could read between the lines: it’s bad. Not just mom-might-be-dead bad, but also everyone-you’ve-ever-loved-might-die-soon bad. Something big was going on back home. Oh, Cecile is mom’s partner, in a way. They’re kind of like an old lesbian couple: they live together and share everyday life with each other, but being vampires they don’t have sex at all. On second thought, they’re exactly like and old lesbian couple.

Speaking of couples. I’ve been staying with this older woman, early forties I’d say. I could tell how lonely she was and took advantage. She fell in love with me after a day. I knew that if I’d ask she’d give me everything she owned and still let me go my way. So instead I sneaked away at night, stealing her car and the cash she hid under the sink.

Am I a good guy or a bad guy? Having grown up with undersiders, I never felt comfortable speaking the common human moral language. If you do like talking in those terms, then I suppose you’ll have to decide for yourself where I fit into that mess. If you ask me, I’m just a guy. I don’t feel guilty for doing what I like and for getting what I want. But I’ll rarely take it too far. I enjoy the challenge that comes with violence, and I enjoy the sense of power and control that comes with it, but I don’t enjoy violence without a challenge; meaning, I don’t enjoy hurting the weak. You won’t catch me stealing from a starving man, unless I’m starving too. I’d probably help a lost child find their parents. I’d never kick a dog. I’d definitely help a woman who’s about to get raped, because that stuff’s just nasty. Seriously, a guy who needs violence to get laid needs to be taken out of the gene pool. I’d probably help an attack victim, male or female, if I see one person being attacked by several. I have an issue with weakness; when I see someone acts cowardly I feel like kicking them in the teeth, and asking your friends to help you beat someone up fits the bill for me. I might not sacrifice a stranger to save myself, simply because I know I’ll feel like a coward later. Then again, I kind of like being alive. My bravery, as such, is probably just revulsion in the face of cowardice.

Backtracking my way home, I sold the car and picked up all the stashed goods I hid along the path. Most big cities have undersiders, and where there’s undersiders there’s artifacts. Most warlocks carry their tools of magic on their person (except the weirdos from Essertog who do every spell by hand), and I am no different. Though I’d say I’m more creative than the average warlock. My creativity is not rocket science – the average warlock is just dense.

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I have a magical shield embedded in my chest, under the skin (most warlocks wear it as jewelry, which is the first thing people will try and take from you). I have several blades on me, including one in my shoe. I have a multi, which looks like one of those multi-tool army knives, only each tool is a specialized tool for magic. I have an assortment of homemade pills, and the herbs I use to make them. One special pill is always hidden in my rectum – yes, I know, It’s gross and too much work to take in and out each time. But one day I’m sure I’ll need it. I have four rings, one earring, and one bracelet. Lastly, I have a unicorn bone in place of one tooth. You won’t believe how much that cost me.

Remember what I said about being near the bottom of the food chain? That would be without my gear. Wondered how humans manage to stand on equal ground with the likes of vampires and demons? Technically, it’s the ability to do magic. Practically, it’s magical tools and artifact. More modern weapons have their uses, but no one likes them on the underside. Magic, even through an artifact, takes a lot of skill and training to master, but anyone can press a button and blow up some TNT. And if one side starts using conventional warfare, the others will just do the same. Also, most undersiders are old, in human terms. And also, in the underside itself, beyond the human realm, guns won’t do you any good.

Do you see what I mean? About the letter? There was a shootout in a club owned by a minor noble vampire. Mom herself was kidnapped, from what I gather. That kind of thing just doesn’t happen.

I stepped into my home city of Veritom. A city can change a lot in thirteen years, but don’t forget: this city is run by undersiders. And most of them aren’t fans of change.

I slipped quietly into familiar alleys, one of my rings acting as an amplifying for an anti-detection spell as I ran quietly past Bobby’s old drug corner. I felt like I was nine again.

The old club was closed; it was already past 6 AM. Entering through the side door, I couldn’t tell the place was shot. They fixed it up, all good as new.

Cecile was there, still awake. I could tell she didn’t recognize me for a moment, because her eyes and lips expressed emotion far too human. She was a slim woman, with the darkest skin I ever saw. Her eyes were full of light for just one single moment.

“Adam”, she said.

Her face lost all emotion in an instant. I never knew if she did that because she felt comfortable to be herself around me, or because she knew she didn’t have to bother pretending.

“You are well. Jane would be happy”, she added in a flat tone.

She meant it. Whatever “happy” meant to a vampire, it was true mom wanted me to be happy on my own terms.

“Tell me what happened”, I said.

I was glad to see Cecile was ok, but said nothing becuase vampires don’t need human emotional support.

She moved her lower jaw. She did that whenever she was worried. While mom always acted like a human in my presence, Cecile gave up the act once I was old enough to know it didn’t mean she hated me.

“Seven attackers. Six days ago. 5 AM. Automatic weapons, magic, paralyzing projectiles. Unprepared. Unaware. Criers came and left. Princess came and left. Waiting.”

Her fingernails brushed against the fabric of her dress. She was feeling the urge to kill. An unconscious attempt to sharpen her nails, I always thought.

Her eyes met mine. A rare thing for a vampire to do among their peers. Then her face filled with human fury, and I knew she wanted there to be no misunderstanding.

“They will die, Adam. We will get Jane back, then we will kill them all”.

I felt anger growing inside me. Until that moment, I wasn’t all that worried. Mom was old, and she’d been through a lot. Most importantly, she always felt all-powerful to me. I suppose it never sank in that she might be in real danger. But she was. Cecile ‘did a human act’, as mom would call it. Cecile hated acting like a human. This time she did it just for me – she wanted me to understand just how bad the situation really was.

“We’ll get mom back”, I reassured her. “You will feed with her again”.

It was reassurance. Under most circumstances, vampires only shared a meal with someone they trusted with their life, and in a place free from any danger. For mom and Cecile to feed together means they will both be in a very safe place, most likely their home, and that they’ll both be comfortable and relaxed, meaning the conflict would be over. Sharing a meal (Oh, and by that I mean sucking the blood from the same human at the same time) was also one of the most intimate things two vampires did with each other. Vampires are all about blood; the don’t kiss, don’t fuck, don’t even hold hands. They can do all those things, they just don’t want to. I know I told you that already, but it felt relevant.

Cecile gave me a soft smile, a hint of tears in her eyes. Again, that was all an act just for me. But it was her way of telling me how she felt, so in a sense it was real.

I got to work. Drew a diagram on the floor, sprinkled powder, chanted words. Both Council and the Throne already did that, but it’s not like they’ll share with me. Oh, Council represents humans, and is comprised of human warlocks. The Throne is high vampire nobility, this case mom’s clan. Mom isn’t very important, but she’s still nobility, which is why a member of the high nobility came personally. Both groups must have began their own investigation of what happened – which is what they are supposed to do. Only, Council doesn’t give a shit about vampires, and the Throne actively hates the minor nobles. Well, not “hate”, but you get the deal. Vampires were never great at working together on a large scale. In human terms, vampires are very tribal. Then again, humans are also very tribal. Why do you think politicians can destroy countless lives without feeling any guilt, yet still care deeply for their own families? Same principle, only worse. Vampire nobles are basically the ideal to which corrupt politicians aspire.

Conjuring a shadow of the past, I could see the event unfold as a play made out of mist. I found mom, saw her jump on one of the men, trying to bite his throat only to be stopped by some physical protection. Mom must have seen the protection beforehand, but her instincts in sudden battle made her try to bite the throat. Though only an image in mist, she suddenly looked so old to me. An old vampire, one who never mastered magic, who never had a gift for combat, biting at an armored neck.

Cecile was right. We will kill them all.

The man staked mom in the heart. Strangely old school. Her body fell, and the man returned to shooting at some other target. Once it was all over, the attackers carried away their wounded, as well as three unarmored bodies.

“Who did they take?” I asked Cecile.

“Jane, Marcus, Miriam”.

Marcus was a vampire. A warlock vampire. Mom’s club wasn’t his usual scene. I had no idea who Miriam was.

“Explain”, I said.

Cecile gave me a blank look, undoubtedly taking a moment to separates in her head what I knew from what I didn’t.

“Marcus came to talk to Jane. Cooperation. Didn’t ask. Miriam is Crier meal. Joined one week before. Twenty one. Unknown relevance.”

So, the men took mom, a warlock vampire who came to talk to mom about something, and a seemingly random meal-girl? Clearly there was more to this. I’ll have to figure out what.

Oh, and “Crier” is what vampires call a human among themselves. Because we cry, get it? It’s the human action vampires find most unsettling.

“Sleep”, I told Cecile. “I will put up protections and stand guard”.

“No”, she answered. “You sleep too. Allies come to guard us”.

I didn’t ask for more details. Cecile wouldn’t say that if she wasn’t sure. And she was right; I had to get some sleep if I wanted to get anything done later. Most of what I had to do could only be done at night anyway.

“Upstairs?” I asked.

“Clear. Sleep”.

There were rooms upstairs. Some for sex, some for discussion. If you’re wondering why the sex, well, humans really like fucking vampires. The vampires don’t care for it, but they do like what comes after. A vampire’s bite inflicts a minor spell on the victim, preventing them from fighting and interfering with their memories the next day. Blood for sex is a common way for vampires to feed in the modern world, though most humans don’t realize it; they think they have a bad hangover. No human likes getting jumped in a dark alley, and no vampire wants a war with Council. So it kind of works.

“Adam?” a voice called once I got upstairs.

“Lily?” I called back.

She hadn’t changed at all. I knew she wouldn’t, but it was still surprising. I am only human. Lily was my best friend growing up. Turned when she was sixteen, mom took her in and taught her about being a vampire. I was twelve. The first year as a vampire is hard, since vampire instincts are on the predatory side, not the civilized side. One time Lily attacked me, but mom stopped her. We became close friends after that. Meaning, she used me to train her human play-acting. I let her feed on me when I was thirteen. We had sex when I was fourteen. She said she never had sex before, and was worried she couldn’t act the part. Took me a couple months to realize that was a lie.

“Adam!” she ran to me and hugged me. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too, Li”.

She leaned closer, a mischievous look in her eyes, then kissed me lightly on the lips.

In case you’re wondering how she could be so cheerful with friends having been murdered and mom taken away, let me remind you that it’s all an act anyhow. Maybe you remembered on your own, but even I took time to wrap my head around it, and I grew up with these people. So it felt relevant to remind you. Also, do you sometimes think I’m talking strangely? In general, I mean. If so, you’re not alone. My normal way of speaking is a human-vampire hybrid speaking pattern which I developed accidentally. Wasn’t able to fully get rid of it, even to this day. When vampire use words, they are often simple words used economically and efficiently. Meaning, the opposite of how humans speak. The result can often sound stilted, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Add to that how I never went to highschool, let alone college, and this is what you get.

“Lets sleep together!”, Lily said.

“Ok, but actual sleep”.

She froze. “You thought I meant sex?” there was annoyance in her voice, and a small hint of disgust. “Sorry, Adam, but I don’t feel that way towards you. I did, once, but it was a long time ago. I hope you can understand”.

I looked into her eyes, searching.

“Flawless act”, I said. “You are amazing”.

She smiled. “Thank you!”

She led me by the hand to one of the rooms, then to the bed.

“We can have sex if you want”, she said.

“Thanks, Li. But I’m honestly tired. And you can’t feed on me. I need my strength to find mom”.

She gave me a cheery smile which meant nothing.

“I know. Now that you’re here, I know you’ll get mom back. Your acting got sloppy, so I know exactly what you’re thinking. And I really do love you, even though you went away for a bit”.

I think she meant that love part. Not “love” like a human love, but... you get the deal. And she probably also meant the “for a bit” part. Vampires treat time differently than us humans do. Thirteen years is like taking a day off. Lily wasn’t old yet, merely thirty two, but a vampire’s sense of time is a part of their nature more than a result of their age. It must have rubbed off on me too, since I rarely felt my age. Growing up with vampires makes you think time will never ran out on you. Which I guess is true for them. And maybe it’s why I’m a twenty-eight year old man who still thinks he’s sixteen.

Lily and I always talked like humans to each other. Her acting did get much better, but it wasn’t flawless like I told her. I could still read her well enough, see the cracks behind her mask. Or were the cracks part of the acting? Was I being played for real? No way to know. Fuck.

“Can I give you a blowjob?” she asked.

I didn’t feel a need for it, so she most likely didn’t read that in my body. She knew I’d help mom no matter what, she knew she couldn’t drink my blood, and she knew I’ll love her no matter what she’ll do for me. There was nothing for her to gain. No angle that I could see. If anything, it would only cause me to suspect her motives – which it did. Maybe I’m getting uber-played for some incomprehensible vampiric reason, but if you ask me, I think she simply loved me, in her own vampiric way, and wanted to make me feel good for that reason only.

“Alright”, I said. “I bet you’ve mastered that too”.

She did. It was the best blowjob of my life.