Unforgiving. Jessa awoke with a single word etched into her mind. The morning light extended its greetings – welcome or not – through stark white curtains which dared to hide little. The University liked to encourage early risers, and such installments were irritatingly effective. The light which trickled in drew shining streaks across the polished wood floor and revealed motes of dust hanging in the air.
Jessa fought her eyes open and sat up, hanging her legs over the side of the bed. As she set her first foot down, the echo of the floor’s creaking bounced across the vast walls and lofty ceiling of the dorm room. Faintly winning over the dusty scent of old books was that of butter and maple, prompting Jessa to make a mental note not to miss breakfast.
She did, however, have much more pressing matters to attend to first. Hoping to speak with Elyza before carrying on with her day, she wasted no time dressing herself and brushing her hair. The hallway, abuzz with its first signs of life, greeted her as she stepped out. Echoing footsteps accompanied the murmurs of students – those passing along the balcony as well as those within the library which it overlooked. Having found herself in pause as she took in the comfort of the University’s liveliness, Jessa realized she’d forgotten something.
She gave a slight gasp and rushed back into her room. Mere seconds later, she emerged, hopping on one foot and holding up the other as she struggled into a shoe. A group of students eyed her with caution as she lost her balance, hopping forward in their direction to keep from stumbling and falling over. They stepped out of the way, and she narrowly missed plummeting into them.
“Sorry, sorry! Just in a hurry,” Jessa squeaked as she caught her balance. Noticing she’d gotten rather close to the edge of the balcony as a result of her blunder, she peered down over the balustrade as she took a moment to catch her breath. Forearms resting on the handrail, she clasped her hands together and beheld the grand library below.
Walls lined with towering oak bookshelves enclosed a spacious, yet intimate, rectangular room. A tasseled red rug with an intricate floral pattern covered the entirety of the hardwood floor. Gold accents were weaved into the fibers. Scattered throughout the room were numerous cushioned armchairs, some situated beside each other, and others with end tables. Students lounged around with their noses buried in open books. Jessa recalled countless nights studying there, at first alone, then with Elyza.
After lingering a bit longer to clear her idle thoughts, Jessa wasted not another moment returning to her task. With a yawn and a quick stretch of her arms over her head, she took a step away from the balustrade to continue down the hall. Holding the handrail as she glided along, she took a left turn at the far end and found herself at Elyza’s door.
Jessa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Hesitation held her trembling hand back from knocking on the door. Her face flushed as an overwhelming anxiety eclipsed her body. Flashes of her memory returned from her interview with the guild; it had been quite some time since such intense nervousness befell her. Taking comfort in the result of her efforts last time, she reached out and knocked on the door. It clicked ajar behind the gentle tap of her hand.
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“Elyza?” Jessa called out, met with no response.
She pushed the door open until it revealed the room in full. Her stomach dropped when she found no one there. Elyza wasn’t the type to awaken early, aside from exams and special occasions, neither of which she’d mentioned. Whatever the case, if she was already gone for the day, Jessa would need to wait until the end of classes to catch up with her again.
As she continued to peer into the room, Jessa spotted something on the dresser. She couldn’t quite make out what it was, but it served to weigh down a folded piece of paper. She entered the room and, turning her head in all directions, took slow and cautious steps toward the object of interest.
Closer proximity revealed it to be a lump of dried clay, shaped in a crude attempt to make a doll. Jessa laughed to herself as the crooked face carved into it did indeed mark it as one of Elyza’s own creations. This moment of delight faded in an instant when her eyes happened upon the paper beneath it, which read essa.
Her stomach dropped again as the previous night’s troubles came back to her. Hundreds of questions rushed forth to overshadow her thoughts, and she reminded herself that she might quell them if only she would read the note. Her cold, shaking hands set aside the doll, revealing the letter J preceding the other letters. Elyza’s hurried handwriting awaited her as she unfolded the letter.
My Beloved Jessa,
I must leave urgently. It is doubtful that I will return. Since I am hopelessly inclined to soothe your questions, worries, and objections, I must write this letter rather than speaking face-to-face.
First of all, I’ve reconsidered–if your guild makes you happy, then it will be a wonderful start to your journey outside the confines under which you’ve lived for far too long. Please grow there and flourish into the glistening ray of sunshine I see in the genuine, unbridled you.
My own plans, in contrast, have changed. I will not be graduating from the University. I will never become a court wizard. My fate has aligned with something far more important I must become. But in my doing this, we cannot be together. I understand you may be confused and hurt, and those ills may blind you of your faith that I will always do what is best for both of us. Though I cannot explain further, please trust in me as you always have.
Above all, I ask you to never forget that I love you. Please do not wait for me, and know searching is futile. You will never find me should you look.
I am sorry that a thousand promises may very well die here. But I will make a new promise to you and be sure to keep it: no matter what is to come, you will never suffer by my hand again.
Yours forever,
Elyza
Jessa stood unmoving, unblinking as she finished reading the note. She proceeded to reread it multiple times, searching for any clues Elyza might have left behind — but her partner was far too vigilant to leave anything unchecked, unless she wanted to leave a hint. Jessa closed her eyes and, to her bewilderment, nothing else came to her. Neither the beckon of tears nor the pangs of anxiety dared to pester her. As far back as she could remember, it may have been the first time her mind was ever so clear.