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Upon The Stars That Died
II: Learned To Be Afraid

II: Learned To Be Afraid

They walk in silence. No one seems to notice them, but I do. The lenses of their raven masks shine in the too-bright lighting of our home. There's people laughing, members of my family celebrating my cousin's birthday while they eat food and talk. My mother turns to look at me, smiling as she bends down and holds up a fork.

"Aloysius, would you like some too?" She asks, a slice of fruit glistening at the end of the fork. I take a bite, chewing as I continue to look past her shoulder, at the people who were definitely not family.

"Mommy? Who are they?" I ask, pointing at one of them. The Crows raise scythes high into the air, as the cheerful laughter turns to terrified screaming, but everyone is still grinning as the Crows' scythes swing down.

She turns to look too, and when she turns back around her eyes are glowing a bright violet with the use of Kinesis.

"Oh honey, those are Crows." She says sweetly, her smile widening. Fire erupts all around us, scorching the air and searing my lungs with each breath I take. And all while, the lenses of the Crows' masks glow ever brighter.

"They've come to kill us."

I gasp awake, frantically scrabbling upwards and pushing my back to the headboard as I look around wildly. The room is spinning, my body hot and sticky with sweat as our sheets cling to me while I tremble violently.

Our sheets.

The thought snaps me back to the current moment. I take a deep, shuddering breath, exhaling it out and breathing again, trying to calm my beating heart. The searing pain in my lungs is a ghost of a memory now, a lingering remnant from my dream, but I still savor the cool air I'm able to breathe. I can hear Chloe singing in the bathroom, and I focus on it, closing my eyes and resting my shaking hands in my lap.

I force myself to continue breathing, to focus on the sensations here in the present moment. The smoothness of the sheets, the slight chill from the air conditioning, the faint rumbling of cars outside, and more than anything else, I focus on Chloe's voice as it drifts out from the open door of the bathroom.

It was just a nightmare. I'm here, and I'm safe. It was just a nightmare. I'm here, and I'm… over and over I force myself to repeat the mantra, and slowly the trembling stops, the panic fading away with every echoed sentence. Until finally, Chloe's singing turns into soft humming, and I hear her feet peel away from the tile of the bathroom floor.

I open my eyes just in time to see her round the corner of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body and her hair. She smiles apologetically when she sees me, pausing in the doorway.

"Did I wake you up?" She asks, walking over and plopping down on the edge of the bed as she undoes the towel around her hair, carefully drying it. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head, a smile of my own forming on my lips as I idly admire her figure. There's still a few droplets of water that glisten enticingly on her shoulders, and I lean back against the headboard. "I always enjoy waking up to your singing. It's my favorite way to start the day."

She laughs, leaning towards me, and I peck a kiss to her lips. "You're such a dork." She giggles, tossing her towel in the basket across the room with a perfect arc. She lets out a soft but triumphant yes, turning back to look at me expectantly, and I chuckle.

"Eight points." I announce, and she pouts.

"What!? That was clearly a nine pointer." She complains, and I click my tongue.

"Eight point five, and not a half a point more." I give my final verdict. "It scraped against the side of the basket."

She lets out a huff of indignation. "It did not." She objects.

"Did too." I say, leaving no room for further argument, and she sighs.

"Well, there goes my dreams of being a gravball pro." She mumbles, and I nod sympathetically.

"There's always next year." I say comfortingly, and the corners of her lips turn upwards in a smirk.

"I dunno coach, I've got one more shot. Tryouts might not be over yet." She reasons, slipping off the towel wrapped around her chest. A very valid argument, one I'm forced to agree with as she makes a point to daintily dab at the water droplets around her neck.

"I'm pretty sure bribing the coach is unethical, if not illegal." I protest weakly, though I am unable to stop her evil plan. My eyes are traitors, and I have no control over them. She bunches up the towel, her brows furrowed in concentration, and tosses it.

It lands nowhere near the basket.

"Ten points!" I say confidently, giving her a thumbs up, and she laughs as she crawls underneath the sheets, snuggling up to me. Her hair is still damp, but I very wisely choose not to comment on that as I instead get to feel her soft body press against mine. I wrap an arm around her, letting her head rest on my chest, and kiss her forehead as I pull up the blankets over the sheets.

I get a whiff of her hair, and make an appreciative noise.

"Did you get a different shampoo? It smells different." I remark, and she beams up at me.

"I did. Do you like it?" She asks, and I nod.

"I definitely do." I struggle for a few moments to place the scent. "It smells like coconut, and…"

"Hailberries." She supplies, and I snap my fingers.

"Hailberries, that's it! Don't know why I couldn't think of it."

"Yeah, Nora recommended the brand to me a couple of days ago- oh!" She exclaims, squirming up and propping an elbow underneath her to look down at me. "Nora told me that Zoil finally asked to make it official!"

I laugh, nodding along. "I just figured that out last night. He dropped me off and then left for a date with her."

She settles back down to lay her head on my chest. "Can I be honest with you?" She asks secretively, and I nod seriously.

"Of course."

"I didn't expect them to actually like each other when I introduced her to him." She confesses, and I nod again.

"I get what you mean. They're very… different?" I try, and she agrees emphatically.

"Right!? I guess it's true what they say, opposites attract." She shakes her head in disbelief, and I shake my own head in solidarity, before she finally rests completely against me.

I think for a few moments, before my own curiosity finally gets the better of me. "How about us? What did you think of me when you first saw me?" I ask, and she hums for a few moments in contemplation.

"I dunno. You came in with the rest of the boys, so I didn't really think anything besides what you were gonna get to drink. Except…" She pauses, and when I look down I see the tips of her ears have become an adorable shade of pink.

"Except…?" I prompt, and she clears her throat.

"Promise not to laugh?" She asks, looking up at me, and I nod. "I thought you were pretty cute." She admits, and I grin slyly.

"Cougar." I cough under my breath, and she slaps my chest lightly.

"I told you not to call me that! How was I supposed to know you were sixteen? You look older than you are." She complains, and I chuckle. "I was so embarrassed when they told me."

I kiss her forehead. "I know. But I'm glad we got over that… even if you denied your very clear feelings for me for three years." I tease, and she slaps my chest again.

"YOU WEREN'T LEGAL FOR TWO OF THOSE YEARS!" She protests loudly, and I laugh harder as her face flushes more red.

"Cradle robber." I hum, and she glares at me dangerously.

"Eli…" She warns, and I kiss her forehead, still smiling as she lays her head back down on my chest with a huff.

We stay like this for a little while, in the comforting warmth underneath our covers. But I can feel her fingers tracing circles around my chest, and I know there's something she wants to talk about.

"You were having nightmares again last night, weren't you?" She asks quietly. I hesitate for a few moments but nod, stroking her shoulder with my thumb. When I don't say anything else for a while, she lays her hand flat on my chest. "If you don't want t-"

"It's okay." I say quietly, looking down at her, and her green eyes stare into my own. "I can talk about it, I just…" I sigh, and she brings her hand up to my face, nodding.

"Whenever you're ready." She reassures me quietly, and I let out a slow breath.

"It was about that night again." I whisper, and her thumb brushes along my cheek before trailing back down to my chest. "The nightmares never get it right. It happens differently every time. But one thing is always the same."

"The Crows?" Chloe ventures a guess, and I nod again. She shakes her head, full lips parting, but I interrupt her.

"Don't say they're not real." I mutter, and her eyes soften.

"Eli, the Crows are ghost stories. Urban myths told to Union kids. And even if they are real, there would be no reason for them to hunt you down just because your family is Kinetic. And you were so young when it happened, you couldn't possibly remember it." She whispers in what I know she thinks is reassurance, and I'm tempted, so tempted, to tell her that they are real. That I'd seen them. But she doesn't know. She can never know.

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So instead I wrap my hand around hers and bring her fingers up to my lips in a kiss, and lower it back down to my sternum. She knows I've closed off again, and I see hurt flicker in her gaze. But she doesn't press further, only plants a kiss against my chest. A quiet reassurance of her presence. Of her willingness to just be here.

"I'm going to marry you, you know." I whisper, and she makes her soft snort of laughter, which causes the corners of my lips to turn upwards. "What? I'm serious."

At this she laughs louder, looking up at me, and I smile back down at her. "You always do that." She murmurs, still giggling, and I brush her still damp hair behind her ears. Again, wisely choosing not to comment on it.

"Do what?"

She grins, resting her chin on my chest. "I dunno. Whenever we have a moment like this, you say 'I'm going to marry you'."

I shrug, unable to stop my smile from widening. "It's true. What can I say, you've made an honest man out of me." I hum, and she tilts her head slightly, her cheek smushing adorably against my chest. I love the way her eyes crinkle when she does that.

"Well, seeing as-" I pause, hit with a sudden sense of vertigo as my senses double. The faint hum of electricity in the air, my feet feeling comfortably warm and too cold at the same time. The warm sense of fullness, of pure bliss from just being told I'd be married. My own purple eyes staring down at me, making my heart flutter.

"Eli?" She asks with concern as I see my own head tilt to the side, my gaze glazing over slightly, and I hear her voice strangely doubled as it enters both my ears and hers. Worry blooms in my chest, her fingers steadying my head. But more than anything else, is the smell. And damn does it stink.

"I smell like that?" I ask, my voice rumbling in our chests this close to each other, and my - our - brows, furrow in confusion. Until understanding hits us.

"You're doing it right now! The link!" She exclaims, and I wrinkle my nose. It's such a weird feeling, something I'll never get used to, both seeing my face make the expression and feeling myself do it.

"I am, but first you have to be honest. Do I really smell this bad?" I ask, and we laugh, leaning our nose down and taking a big sniff.

"I guess so? I kind of like it though. It smells like you." We say, and I gag slightly, which causes us to laugh harder. We take another sniff, and I feel heat blossom in our chest. As well as somewhere else.

"Oh." I say in comprehension, and we smile shyly.

"So you can tell what I'm thinking right now?" We ask quietly, Chloe's shy, sweet voice far more pleasant to listen to when doubled. Thoughts whirl around inside of my mind. Desire, warring with the thought that we'd just showered. Followed by the far more pleasant thought of us showering together. Of Elias' kisses trailing down our body, memories of his slight stubble itching against our skin, driving us crazy as it lowers to our thighs. We're worried that we haven't shaved our legs in a couple of days, but feel comfort when we remember that Elias doesn't care.

"Okay, this is weird." I say, and immediately we're shy again, rethinking this whole thing. "In a good way." I hurriedly reassure, but now we're pissed Elias has ruined the moment. We were just about to- "Okay, definitely do that." We hear me breathe, and the heat has come back.

"You'd like that?" We ask, gently nipping my neck, and my breath hitches. We like when Elias' breath hitches, I've realized. I should do it more often.

"This feels like cheating." I confess, and we're frustrated, because Elias is still talking about things other than what he'd like us to do, but we're curious. "I know exactly what you want." This causes the heat to blossom further. We love this idea.

"Good." Chloe breathes, and I tangle my fingers into our hair, the slight sting drawing a sharp breath from us as I kiss our neck.

We love it when I do that.

-

I stare dazedly into the mirror while Chloe gargles toothpaste in her mouth, spitting it into the sink. Steam curls off both of our bodies from our shower, but I can only numbly turn off the sink when I finally realize I've finished brushing my teeth.

"So that's what you meant." I mumble under my breath, and Chloe cups water into her hands, looking at me inquisitively before gargling more water and spitting it out.

"Hmm?" She asks, wiping her fingers and mouth off with a towel before picking up her blow dryer and switching it on.

"When you say 'just like that'. That's what you mean." I say, and she switches the blow dryer off, pointing at me with wide eyes.

"YES!" She screams triumphantly. "THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! Do you see how frustrating it is when you speed up or slow down after I say that, now? And don't even get me started on when you stop completely!"

I round on her with wide eyes of my own, frustration exploding outwards in my chest. "HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT WAS LIKE!?" I accuse right back at her. "And you didn't even TELL ME THAT YOUR ORGASMS FEEL LIKE THAT!?"

She shrinks back, her lips pouting but curiosity clearly winning the short battle that plays out on her face. "Yours don't?" She asks, and I grab her shoulders.

"NO! THEY DON'T! I TASTED COLORS, CHLOE! TASTED! COLORS!" I shriek, and she stares at me, dumbfounded, before erupting into laughter. I bitterly snatch her hair dryer away, turning it on and blowing it into her face. She only laughs harder, and I hand it back to her with a disgusted huff.

She casually waves it in the air, smirking at me. "So we do it like this from now on?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, and I groan, leaning on the counter with my elbows and resting my face in my hands.

"I can't control it. This might be the last time it ever happens." I mock sob, and she shrugs, still smirking as she resumes blow drying her hair.

"Well, at the very least you now know how to make it better for both of us from now on." She hums. However after a few moments she freezes, slowly turning to look back to me with a contemplative look on her face, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Not to say it wasn't good before. I'm your first serious relationship, right? Exactly how much practice have you had?"

I pause, sensing that the topic has taken a very dangerous turn as I slowly turn towards her. "I might have had some experience." I say cautiously, and her eyes narrow further.

"How much experience?"

I really, truly think hard about whether I should answer this honestly or not. But Chloe doesn't take bullshit answers.

"... about twenty?" I admit, and her nostrils flair, the pupils in her eyes shrinking by a scary amount.

"...Twenty?" She asks, her tone dangerously calm.

I nod hesitantly. "Abou-" ow! Her foot slams into the back of my calf, and I backpedal away as she advances on me, my eyes squinting shut as she turns the hot air on my face.

"TWENTY!? TWO ZERO? THAT KIND OF TWENTY!?" This time it's her turn to shriek at me, but I can't see her, my eyes squeezed tight to protect them from the hot air she's blowing in my face.

"Your number can't be that much low-" I begin to protest before I slam into the back wall of our bathroom, feeling her bring the dryer right up to my face.

"THREE!" She snaps, turning off the hair dryer and lowering it, and I open my eyes to see her own staring straight into mine, close enough that our noses are touching. "I'm twenty five, and I'm not even at a fifth of the experience you have!?"

I bring my hands up to her face, peppering it with kisses, before smiling at her meekly. "And you are by far the best!" I say honestly, and she pauses, lowering back to a full head shorter than me as she stops standing on her toes.

"Really?" She asks hesitantly, and I nod emphatically.

"Really. Not a day goes by that I don't think about your touch."

She purses her lips, but I can still see the faint smirk of pride making its way onto her face. She saunters back to her side of the counter, turning the dryer back on as she looks at the mirror smugly.

"How about m-"

"Obviously." She grumbles, not even letting me finish. "It takes me an hour to even be able to get out of bed."

I return to my own side of the sink, not saying anything as I slick my hair back. But there's a smug smile of my own on my lips, and she glances at me from the corner of her eye. When she's finished blow drying her hair, she turns to look at me, and I likewise do the same. She musses it up with her fingers, her red hair curling slightly as she flips it back over her shoulder, cascading down her back.

"How do I look?" She asks, and I look at her up and down.

"Want to need another shower with me in about an hour?" I ask, and she rolls her eyes. But the smugness is still on her face, and she slaps my butt as she walks past me back into our room.

I grin to myself, following her out, and we both slip on our clothes for the day, completing our outfits by fitting our circlets on each other's wrist. She wears a cream colored blouse that tucks in snugly to blue jeans, while I wear a black dress shirt and slacks, slipping on my gold, chain-link necklace.

"Very marriable." I remark, giving her a thumbs up, and breathes a laugh. We both pause as my circlet pulses with blue light, and I raise it as Valories face pops into view.

"Good morning Valory." I greet with a smile, but her expression is troubled. "Everything okay?"

She hesitates for a few moments, before nodding. "Good morning, Mr. Vicha." She replies with her very slight off-world accent. "I'm just calling to inform you that I'll be leaving in about twenty minutes. There was an incident with Ms. Vicha about about five minutes ago. I've managed to calm her, but she expects you around the time that I leave."

I force my smile to stay where it is, nodding along as Chloe's face tenses in worry. "Thank you, Val. I'll send you the bonus, as always."

She nods again. "Farewell, and please give my regards to Ms. Lyra."

The holo-screen disappears, and I look at Chloe with my same feigned smile. "You heard Valory." I say meekly, sighing as I sit down on the bed. She sits with me, gently stroking my back while I hold my head in my hands.

"You don't have to go back, you know." She murmurs, her nails trailing up and down my spine. "You practically live here anyways. We can always-"

"No." I snap, perhaps a bit too harshly as I turn to look at her and see Chloe bite her lip. I bring my hand to the back of her head, pulling her towards me as I kiss the crown of her hair. "No." I repeat again, this time more gently, and I sigh. She rests her hand on my leg, squeezing it comfortingly, and I lay my hand on top of hers. She holds it with her own, turning it over and stroking my palm with her thumb.

"She's still… She's still my mom, you know? And I don't think she can… live on her own, anymore." I mumble, and she nods, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I know." She says quietly. "I wasn't saying we should leave her alone entirely. When my nan developed Alzheimer's, we hired a live-in nurse before we could get it treated. It was hard, money-wise, but she was at least able to live in her own home. Maybe we could do something similar for your mom? With someone who has the required… mental fortitude, of course."

I think it over for a few moments. Valory was great, but there was only so much she could do as a non-kinetic. Getting that kind of help would be expensive, but… I know that isn't an excuse. I could make the kind of money it would require, now that I'd gone pro.

"I guess I'm… still just hoping it'll get better." I whisper, and Chloe kisses my cheek before resting her head on my shoulder again.

"You said it's been like this since you were five." She says gently, and I nod.

"I know."

"It'll be hard. But Elias… no child should have had to go through what you went through. To have learned to be afraid of their own mother." She whispers, and I nod again, my throat burning as my eyes sting.

"She isn't always like that." I try to justify, my voice cracking. "Most of the time, it's still her. It's only occasionally that she… slips." I'm not convincing, even to myself, but Chloe doesn't say anything else. We only stay like that, her gently stroking my palm while I look down at our intertwined hands.

"We can talk about it again later. Whatever you decide, I'll support you." She finally says, and I nod silently. "Right now, though, I can drive you back."

I nod again, and she stands, drawing me up with her.

"I'm going to marry you, you know." I say as I look down at her, and she smiles, rising up to the tips of her toes and kissing my throat.

"I know."