"We have a problem."

I immediately stood at Sulmoro's announcement. "What is it?"

"The Queen isn't here."

"What?"

"She's not here. Her servant said so."

"I'll wake the others."

I woke up Lænzey first, since she told me she was 'pumped up' after her investigation session and promised to help if something happened during her rest period.

"Alright, time to pound some sons of bitches. Who is it?"

"We're actually leaving. Get your things."

"Wait, what‽ Why?"

"Sulmoro?"

She promptly jumped in. "As I just informed our leader, the Queen isn't here."

"What?"

"That's what I said."

Sulmoro continued, "Her servant informed me that she was not actually serving here."

"Weird," said Lænzey, "since mine said the opposite."

"Is that so?"

"We cried together in a closet for a while (long story). During that, she confirmed to me that the Queen was here. She was really confused about the Queen agreeing to do any work here when she could instead save herself by goïng into hiding."

"You have proven yourself to be little more than an opportunistic heathen. Why should we trust your account of such an unlikely scenario?"

"Well," I butted in, "the servants at the beginning said two things: that the Queen was one of them and that they wouldn't lie. One of them saying she isn't would be a contradiction, but one of them saying she is here would be no contradiction at all. They could've poisoned our food, but they didn't. There's no sign of one of us getting attacked. It makes much more sense to think the Queen is here than to not."

"And you trust Lænzey?"

"Yes!" I said, irritated.

"Hmph."

"Anyway, we're not leaving, but it's still a good idea to wake everyone up so we can compare notes. Sulmoro, get Cåktakal; I'll wake Sekterns in a winaawat or so once he's gotten some sleep. In the meantime: Lænzey, what was that 'long story' you mentioned?"

Soon, we were up to speed, and Cåktakal was awake.

"So that's how it is, huh? Ye gotta admit, that lass has some history to her."

"I'm still caught on her name!" I interjected. "Who names their kid 'Kæypizklæy'?"

"A racist I guess?" ventured Lænzey. "Look, focus; the important part is that she knows the Queen is here."

"Didn't we already know that?" asked Cåktakal.

"Sulmoro says her mark said otherwise."

"Huh, is that a fact?"

"Ask her if you don't believe me. What side of the fence did your mark come down on?"

"Mine didn't say."

"What did yours say then?"

"Hold on, hold on," I cautioned. "I think we should wait until we're all here to share our reports."

"Understood," said Sulmoro. "I shall wake Sekterns."

I almost moved to stop her, but then decided it was best to get this over with.

Round 3. Now everyone was up.

Cåktakal: "Well, see, the lass was..."

Me: "Well first, I had to go to..."

Sekterns: "We talked on the way..."

Sulmoro: "She didn't even show up until..."

Once we'd each recounted what we'd done, I looked around at them. "So, what did we learn?"

"That Sekterns's girlfriend got a greenhouse for her birthday?"

"Cåktakal..." I said warningly. "Be serious."

"There was one thing I noticed:" said Lænzey, "Sekterns, you said Olæren had a halfsister, right? And they were both eventually pulled up into the Dark Army?"

"Yeah?" he answered sleepily.

"Her halfsis was a demon, right? Like, she lived in a demon village."

"Ohhhhhh..." I said, reälization dawning on me. "So her half-sister might have been the Queen?"

"Yep. All we have to do is find someone who fits the description."

"Oh, wait, didn't you say Kæypizklæy mentioned her dad getting killed when the Dark Army rolled into town?"

This drew a "What?" from Sekterns.

"I'll catch you up later."

Lænzey didn't miss a beat. "Definitely Queen-y, yeah. The problem is that she'd have to have been...I guess not lying conventionally, per se, but she was having the wrong emotion if she really was the Queen. She cried for like a winaawat about stuff the Dark Army did."

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"Let's put it on hold then. Any other ideas?"

"That Aaknik lady told me the Queen came to town and acted all shiftylike with the local rats for awhile, then just fuckin' left." Cåktakal chuckled to himself at that. "That shit takes balls. Steal a meal every day for a year then just leave. I'd be looking at whoëver has the biggest stones in this place, if'n you know what I mean."

"It should must needs be pointed out," said Sulmoro, "that such intuïtions may be unreliable."

"Even with that," I countered, "I think it points us in another reliable direction: overseer Kalulowzt. You said she flat-out ignored your requests for a dedicated time for questioning. That's bad enough, but you also say that she explicitly lied to you about the Queen's location. Maybë she can get away with that specifically because she's secretly the Queen."

"Or maybë she just has enough self-respect not to ask how high when the Queen says to jump." Cåktakal pointed out.

"Uhh...umm..." started Sekterns, "what if...what if it's Aaknik?"

"Bwahahahahahaaa, you stupid orc! Didn't she say the Queen left her to rot until the Dark Army came through later?"

"I mean...what if the Queen did leave?"

I was surprised. "Could you explain what you mean?"

"What if the Queen left because she got rid of her 'Queen' identity when she went undercover? Aaknik stays, but the Queen is gone until the frontline reaches the city. It explains why she was able to take over: because she already knows how topside affairs work, because her parents got to stay there under the Old Way."

"Hm, interesting theory. The janitor did also compare her to a character named 'Solo Riktlar'; anyone heard of that?"

"That blasphemous layabout thief-for-hire‽" exclaimed Sulmoro. "I should be glad I didn't have to talk to someone like him."

"You know the story?"

"Unfortunately so. Solo Riktlar, while on the virtuous side, commits such blatant disrespect for the laws that he openly consults with criminals at thieves' dens. Such a person might very well be a Dark Queen."

"Okay, any other theories? Any at all?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Alright, then. Everyone, get your best gear together. Sekterns, go back to sleep. Lænzey, get Sekterns's stuff together for him while he sleeps; he needs it for the battle. In the meantime, I have some questions I need to get answered."

----------------------------------------

"Hey, Aaknik," I said, walking into the lobby, "I've got some questions for you."

There was no response. Of course. I had to undertake the same approach as Cåktakal, but there was no humor in my bellringing.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

...

Eventually, Aaknik got the message and showed up. "What is it, oh glorious enemy leader? Come to drop some rocks on me?"

"I've come to ask you questions."

"Didn't you already send your crass goon to do that?"

"Uh, yeah, basically." Cåktakal wouldn't like beïng called that, but I was working on a deadline here. "I've come to ask more."

"Greeaaat."

"Look, neither of us has all day."

"Actually we both do. You don't get kicked out until tomorrow."

"Just answer my questions and I'll leave you be, okay?"

I took her silence as permission to begin.

First, I needed to take care of whether she was the Queen or not, but I couldn't ask directly. Luckily, according to our theory, the only way for her to both tell the truth and be the Queen was for her to have gone undercover for a short while. Therefore:

"Did the Queen ever go undercover?"

"She's undercover right now, genius!"

"That's not what I mean. Did she go undercover at any time before now?"

"Why should you care? You won, and you're prying into our tactics?"

"Just answer me. Your Queen said you need to."

"...fine. She never went undercover between ascending to the throne and now."

"...and before ascending to the throne?"

"She posed as a member of the edge navy to sneak onto the southern mainland."

"I see."

Welp, that was a bust. Aaknik was not the Queen (well, either that or she'd been lying the whole time, but that was a slippery slope I didn't want to fall down). The two remaining were the overseer and the cook; the cook's possible connection to Olæren might have clinched it, but the overseer's alleged lie about the Queen would only mean something if everyone else was cleared. Therefore:

"Does Kæypizklæy have siblings?"

"...interesting! So, who'd you just cross off of your list?"

I was caught off-guard. "How did you—"

"I've been around the block a couple times, bub. You think you're clever, but I can see where you're goïng by the way you get there."

I sighed. "Look, just answer the question. Does Kæypizklæy have siblings?"

She thought for a moment. "Oohh, that's a pickle."

"Um?"

"My problem here is that I can tell what you're getting at. You must've figured out the queen's family status somehow. The problem comes from the fact that we were forbidden from telling you who the queen is, and she defined that as 'answering a question that you know is directly aimed at uncovering my identity'. I can't answer that question as yes or no, because I know that you've already figured out who the two most likely candidates are, so telling you the answer would be effectively telling you that one or the other is Queen One."

"Doesn't that apply to everything we've been doïng though? We've been asking you questions for the express purpose of finding out who the Queen is."

"But then I didn't know what your logic was! Now I do."

"Does it matter? I'm still not asking you directly. I'm asking indirectly. Surely that's legal?"

"Hmph." She sulked for a minute, probably trying to think up different excuses. "Okay, fine. No, she doesn't have siblings."

"Well, that takes care of it, then."

"I guess it does."

----------------------------------------

"It's the overseer," I announced to the others.

"Y'know, I really should've seen that one coming," remarked Lænzey.

"Yeah, sure. Sulmoro?"

"Yes?"

"When the time comes for the battle, I'll need you to go get Imdan. This is all hands on deck."

"Understood."

"Good. Lænzey, strategy talk."

"Can't it wait until I've finished with the two different sets of gear you assigned me?"

"Unfortunately, no. Work while we talk. I have to get mine too anyway."

"Fine." She busied herself with getting out her weapons from out of our luggage. "What strategy are we talking?"

"I'm thinking...an ambush?"

"Well, it's the overseer, isn't it? Aren't we talking about the one person who has the most info on what goes on around here? How do we ambush that?"

"Good point," I struggled to say as I hefted a pile of my stuff onto the floor. "Maybë we can feed her false intel?"

"Nah, none of the servants trust us." She slid her daggers into their pouches. "Even Sekterns couldn't get Olæren onside, and trust me when I say Kæypizklæy wouldn't tell us anything if she thought we were trying to kill the Queen."

"So what do we do, then? Charge head on?"

"It's worked for me before," she said, shrugging.

"Yeah, only after we bailed you out."

"I had it under control!"

"You really didn't."

"Shut up."

"Anyway," I chuckled, sheathing the Poët's True Sword and attaching it to my belt, "if we can't catch her unawares, maybë we can catch her unprepared. What do you think of interrupting her schedule-making?"

"Won't she expect that?"

"Do you have a better ideä?"

She rolls her eyes. "Alright, we'll catch her when she most expects it, then."

"Look, I'm not really psyched for this either, but what choice do we have? She barely does anything but bookkeeping, writing notices, and holding meetings."

"Maybë we can lure her somewhere?"

"How?"

"...ummm..." She thought for a minute. "...okay, you got me. Dumb plan it is. Now come help me with Sekterns's magicians’ cape."