***Dimension M-23-565-6, World - Mitage ***
***Seria***
“Please, don't do this alone, Seria! I know that you are strong, but it's stupid to fight a Council member one on one! Tjenemit isn't a pacifist like me or a scientist like Elohim. He fought at the front-lines during the war,” Lada pleads. She reaches out and touches my shoulder, hoping to sway my opinion.
But there is nothing she can do to change my mind. I have been on this course for far too long.
When I started out with this plan of mine, it was like rowing down a gentle river. I could have decided to jump off and swim to the shore at any time, but not any longer. As my deeds accumulated, my ability to turn back and let things be faded. By now, I am long past the point of no return.
Now, my little boat is all that keeps me afloat within a rushing maelstrom with deadly cliffs to either side of me. My only options are to come out on top or to die with everyone else.
In my mind, there was never a choice to my actions. Without allies and caught in the cogs of the Council's machine, I had to resort to means that would deter even those who will fight for me in the end. Whether they want to or not.
But that's why my plan will work. It's so insane that even the Council members do not believe that anyone would resort to such means. They have all the hints right in front of their eyes and even now most of them don't truly believe it.
Tjenemit is the only one who caught on, but that is only because he is a distrustful bastard. He always was.
I lean back against the rock, enjoying the view from the highest peak of the tallest mountain on some nameless world. If the local deity who calls this place his home knew that I am here, he would have a hissy fit. Nazareth and I are not on speaking terms since I used his and his brother's souls for some experiments.
They suffered quite the beating when they got caught up in Ascathon's and Myrm's conflict. If it weren't for my efforts, Nazareth would still be some incoherent mess of metaphysical soul-energy. Thanks to a little soul-merging with Marigold's, he is up and kicking again a few millennia earlier than he would be if I left him to recover naturally.
The insufferable little gnome should be worshipping me! Instead, he is hiding on this nameless pit of a world in an attempt to stay away from me and the Council. Ha! He only thinks that, the little fool. His only luck is that he is too insignificant for anyone to actually think about him. I bet that Tjenemit doesn't even remember the rat's name by now.
I sigh.
Friends are won and lost as easily as I can play with life and death.
Watching the snowy mountains, I finally remember that I owe Lada a reply. “It's really no problem, Lada. Everything will turn out to be fine, I promise. Besides, what would you do if you were at my side? Fight him together with me? You are no fighter, Lada. We both know that. You would be in the way.”
“I could at least try to talk to him!” Lada looks at me with an angry expression. “I know that you don't think much of Tjenemit, but he can be reasoned with.”
I chuckle, seeing her throwing what counts as a tantrum for her. “You are such an angel, Lada. Are you sure that you aren't hiding some wings on your back? If he gets away and tells the rest of the Council about you, you will be in deep shit. I don't want that. I need you where you are now.”
Reaching up, I brush her hand off my shoulder. “You will be able to do much more from within their ranks. I never thought that I would get a trump-card like you. So as long as you stick to the plan, it will be fine. Just don't risk giving yourself away beforehand. We are sure to succeed easily with you as our agent. You can lessen the losses of both sides by a great deal.”
A gust of wind ruffles our hair and I throw up a quick shield to protect us from the annoyance of nature.
The sky is so wonderfully blue from up here.
“The Council isn't what it was anymore. We... at least I... had something else in mind when it was founded.” Lada looks sadly at the ground while she is floating next to me. “Something happened within the hearts of the others. They are drunk on their power and lost sight of what it means to show compassion. I wouldn't help you otherwise.”
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“I can't tell you everything, Lada. The only thing I can do is to promise that I planned everything. I did this for so long, I actually don't even remember when everything started. If I am truthful, I was always afraid to go from the preparation stage to the actual execution.” I smile at her.
“If Tjenemit hadn't caught on, I would have continued for another eternity. It doesn't matter anymore if I win this fight or lose. My actions were out of my control since long ago, like I said.” I stand up and take a look around. The view is wonderful, though there is a quickly approaching front of clouds which will soon cover the peak in mist.
An ocean of clouds. “Maybe I just failed to notice that I am just as caught in my ways as all of the other old deities.”
I nod, trying to reassure myself. “Maybe having a new start is what I really need.”
Lada grabs my hand. “That sounds like you actually expect to die!”
“Bwahaha! Don't be ridiculous. Of course, I would prefer it if I don't die. I think no immortal wants to deal with the memory loss that's involved in that. But once Tjenemit and I clash, it will be a fight between gods and one of us will die. All I am saying is that my plan will go on without me. You just need to play the nice little Council member. Harmony and Peace for everyone. And when my friends come and knock on the Council's door, you will have to decide if they are better than the Council or not.”
I pinch her cheek. “Smile a little more. That grim expression doesn't fit you.”
Lada grimaces. “I searched all the records and I actually know how many gods, angels, demons, demi-gods, and so on, you hid from the Council. I don't know how you are doing it, because Amaru's Sphere of Sight can detect any divinity within the multiverse. It will be a big gamble to unleash them all at once.”
She huffs. “Who knows how many more you found without any record of it? We just know of those you got your hands on during the hunts. Who ever said that you didn't find many more who were just on the brink of turning into gods? You obviously have a little more knowledge and power than the Council in some areas.”
“Oh, it seems I really can't hide everything from you. But that's fine.” I shrug, not wanting to confirm any of her suspicions. There is still a small chance that Lada is trying to play the double-agent. And in case that she is truly on my side it's better for her to have no confirmation of anything if El Shaddai interrogates her.
“Just tell me, is it really worth it?” Lada asks me with a serious face.
I hum and think about my answer. “You know... when I came out of the Void, I felt like I was dead. I always had ideals, precious memories, and a conviction to keep me going. I think during that time in the Void some of my feelings died and I became a little like a machine. I came out and found the Council. You guys were against the freedom I always believed in, so I started my plan. It wasn't out of passion or hate. I just did it because I thought it was my duty.”
I pause, thinking. “Then, over time, I talked to the other old gods and I found out that they are just as dead as me, not in a physical sense, but more in a spiritual one. Even though they had the whole multiverse as their playground all that time. They lived so long that they lost their feelings, their ability to empathize with anyone but themselves. The same happened to me, though I realised that unlike them I am still clinging to some of those feelings which bind me to others. I am surprised that you aren't like them, though you are pretty old too.”
“I was always the emotional type.” She smiles at me.
I continue, “However. When I talked to some of the younger gods, I realised that they still have life in them! They aren't so far removed from the cycle of life and death as the rest of us. They still have purpose and passion, but they are suppressed by their elders. I thought to myself if we old ones were allowed to die, wouldn't we be able to get our life back, our ability to feel? So I took a little vacation and tried to live a mortal life again. It wasn't long. Just fifty or sixty years, I think.”
“You reincarnated? How? The Council should have noticed!” Lada stares at me with big eyes.
“You guys aren't paying as much attention as you think. I filed for an extended vacation of five hundred years and spent the first hundred as a shut-in watching soap operas. I figured that even if Big Brother is watching me, they would get sick after a decade and I would have at least some time to myself. Well, I lived a nice, little life without anyone getting the wiser. I had parents again and could play my pranks on them. Can you imagine that?” I grin at her.
“I feel bad for your parents...” Lada grumbles. “Those poor mortals.”
Ha! If she knew! Of course, I chose my parents. “Well, that's when I decided that my actions are the right ones. I think every god should return to the cycle of life and death from time to time if he or she wishes for it. Actually, I believe it's the natural order of things.
“Think about it! A soul continues the circle until it becomes strong enough to ascend to godhood. And with it, the circle just ends! Are we really supposed to endlessly walk the multiverse? Or is it just a chance to explore the multiverse and yourself until you become bored of it and decide to return to the cycle to renew your soul? I like my view much better than the Council's if you ask me. Enforcing an eternal peace on us is slowly draining everyone.”
Lada smiles wryly at me. “When the ancient war ended, we had way too many foes who would have continued to fight once they were reborn. We had no other choice but to seal them away and to forbid everyone else from reincarnating freely. It would be impossible to keep track of everyone, even with the Sphere of Sight.”
I squint my eyes at her. “You mentioned this Sphere of Sight twice now. Is that...”
“Yes.” She deflates, looking resigned. “But I can't tell you much about it. We found it in the Crystal City and El Shaddai figured out how to use it. It gave us the edge we needed to win the war.”
I nod. “It's okay. The Sphere won't help them in the long run. It's a powerful device, but as I have already proven, it's limited once you know its blind spots.”
Suddenly, I feel something rip the space which belonged only to me for such a long time. The feeling wrenches at my soul and I flinch, reaching for my heart.
Lada notices my distress. “Is everything okay?”
“It is. The dice are finally falling. I have to go now.” I take and squeeze her hand. “And you should be at that Council chair and put on an innocent smile.” I hug my friend for a moment and step away from her. Then I take a pathway which leads me home.
I almost miss Lada's weak, “Goodbye.”