I

Every story, as sad, horrible, terrible or heart wrenching it may be, has at least, its part of happiness as fleeting as it could be.

Their love had been one like those seen so many times. The friends growing to cultivate feelings for each other without realizing it.

They had been neighbors and had played together since toddlers. They started walking around the same age and once they learned to talk they were most of the time, talking to each other. It wasn’t that much of a change, just that the baby language they used now turned into something the adults around them could understand and laughed about when they judged it too cute or funny.

He distanced himself a bit once at school though, wishing to stay with his boy friends company, often arguing with her to stop following him. Quite the stubborn person she was, she wouldn’t exactly listen and more often than not, she was surrounded by boys instead of playing with girls her age. A real tomboy she became, more daring than any boy when it comes to mischief.

The situation eased in middle school. She became a bit more feminine while he outgrew his childish temper.

By high school, they were back to being the best friends in the world, analyzing for the other the good and bad points of the person they were crushing on.

The revelation, by the time they were finished with university, was late to come but once she understood, she was fast to try and steal his heart. He mustn’t marry, not if the one he chose wasn’t her. Persistent, more than ever, he admitted, at last, his own changed feelings. They stopped beating around the bush, finally! The best friends in the world, successfully became lovers, later fiancé, and spouses.

Such a grant wedding it was, a happy occasion that reunited many families. The love story had reached its pinnacle and like most stories do, was now nearing its end.

II

It is much easier to break vows than honor them!

Six years into the marriage, it was still relative bliss and happiness. Having a child wasn’t easy though and facing the entering seventh years of their union, lying tensions rose and unsaid words were harshly disputed. Sleeping dogs could no longer lie.

Funnily, a dog was bought.

A dog she hated and no matter what she said, he wouldn’t let go of the ever-barking animal. Far from being a welcome presence as he thought it would have been, the pet became another subject of infinite spars. No way could an animal fill the gap that was widening too much between them.

A year passed and the tensions rose even more. The dog was barking still. More soundly now thus more annoyingly. Her stomach was empty still. And the love in their marriage was diminishing way too fast.

There had been false hope that ended in miscarriages and worse, there had been denials. What a horrible thing it was, a pregnancy’s denial. Believing for months in the existence of a child who had never been there in the first place to the point where the brain would round the stomach as though it was really happening.

Such a thing had only worsened the situation.

The first time he did it, wasn’t premeditated at all. He was just unwilling to go back early for having, the morning before, had a particularly nasty row with his wife. He couldn’t…wouldn’t… was just tired of hearing her talk about doctors and children, and pregnancy… a pregnancy she would never have.

They were just friends. Had been for a long time and ‘she’ was the one he talked to when he had troubles with his wife. A situation that was almost permanent now.

By the time he realized what was happening, they had already laid together. The guilt of the first time was too much to bear. After that and for a time, he bent to his wife’s every whim, listened and complied to further medical testing and tried his best to make her happy, conscious of her every move perking his ears, eyes and other sensing fearing something would give him away.

He was unwilling and quite afraid to confess what he had done in a moment of inebriety. He still, no matter what, loved his wife very much, he realized.

Medical expertise failed them once again. The idea of adoption was once again brought on the table and discarded. Anger, mood swings, gloominess and negative feelings were back in their routine again.

Yet they were both too stubborn to know when it was time to let go.

The next time it happened, he was sober. He didn’t know why it happened, not really. The guilt was less than the first time but his willingness to try and mend his relationship with his wife was still there.

The third time, he realized with horror, he was in love with ‘her’. He couldn’t understand when it changed, when it turned from simple colleagues to friendship then love.

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Each time that followed, the guilt reduced.

Two years later and there was already no more guilt to feel and instead, the idea to relieve himself from this marriage was finally here. It stayed, for a time the ever-constant feeling he was experimenting.

III

Beware of crying women. Horrid things they hide under those tears.

She was a mountain on the verge of exploding. Through their marriage, the pressure of not having children had been pushed on her. The love they felt at the beginning thinned and thinned every year.

So many clinics had been tried, so many things had they done… and too many failures did they bear in return, each one squashing the hope that had once been present.

Adoption. So not easy to do and while they familiarized themselves with the idea both wanted, if they should take such a step, a child less than a year. Ah, what a headache this was, a near impossible thing and when they found pregnant women who wanted to give their still-in-the-womb baby for adoption, these people would desist at the last time and the law, even though the future adopters had already paid for all the steps and medical visit, much more favored the real mother in such cases.

Their criteria, over the year, broadened too and they went up to three years but still, somehow, could never find a child to adopt and by the time they found, they had long stopped being civil with each other and there would always be a problem creeping up that would make it impossible.

Oh, how stubborn they were. Were they still together because of love still?

By the time she found out about his affair, he didn’t seem to be that much in love anymore. The indignation, anger, and humiliation that rose in her at the sight of such proofs in his phone were most certainly related to the feeling of being betrayed itself than any real love.

It was but a simple clumsiness that brought to light this specific trail of messages, she wasn’t looking for proof of cheating in his phone after all but merrily to command something to eat, work hasn’t let her the time to cook something. But after that, she became particularly paranoid and should he be late with just some minutes she would be on his back the whole night.

When the anger culminated and the confrontation turned left place to explosion, she afterward tried to rekindle the flame of their passion. So many years had they passed together, maybe now it was more the idea of being alone or maybe some kind of misplaced sense of possession or the pride of winning him back in the end that prevented her from even thinking about something as definitive as a divorce.

Nothing seemed to work well though and he was suggesting that ridiculous idea of divorce she had first thought of and discarded.

She took him by sentiments in the end, for he was weak to her tears still. And somehow, there had been one last chance given to their couple. One last time. One last shot.

Her eyes, that had cried so much since married to this man held no joy as her mouth was professing words of love.

IV

And then silence…

Oh, what an annoying animal that dog was, always listening to him and never her. The more it barked, the more irritated she would be.

Years together and there were still new sides of him that she had yet to discover… and to hate. That last chance, she didn’t know why but she gave it her all. Wanted, needed their relationship to be that of the beginning of their marriage where it was all love, happiness, and bliss, where they just needed each other’s presence to have a wonderful day.

But how to feel when he wasn’t taking it seriously and had once again, rekindled with his secret affair thinking her none the wiser.

She found that she could hate. With passion. As much as she had once loved him, she was now hating him.

And he was leaving her.

The row the night she confronted him about it, was nothing like how they once spar. It was more violent, the words exchanged were more bitter, they were yelling louder.

It was unknown, who started it first, but they did get physical and at one point between flinging things at him across the room and running away from him and the things he was throwing too, she took hold of the arm in their bedroom’s cupboard.

Oh, what a stupid idea that gun had always been. She had always hated it. ‘It’s for our protection’ he would repeat incessantly, letting the dangerous weapon reside in the place they were sleeping.

Far from being scared, he taunted her, daring her to do it.

She was agitated, asking him to shut up.

When he made a motion to jump on her, her fingers shook and pressed, the projectile actually going straight for his head.

He laid there, on their bedroom’s floor, motionless.

She hurried to him, pleading with him to not be dead.

The insufferable animal was barking still and she was agitated and crying and a mess.

He was, no matter how much she beseeched, dead. No matter how much she implored, dead. He stubbornly kept on being dead no matter what she did.

She finally stopped pleading, stopped crying and at one point, stopped feeling. She looked at him without looking anymore almost as though her soul had long left.

When the now giant pet kept on barking at her, her motionless form which was sitting in a daze took hold of the arm and shot straight at it. The animal died releasing a strange and altogether otherworldly sound.

It was so quiet. So peaceful. Finally. 

The dog finally stopped barking.

She was herself no more.

“Why?” she had asked again and again like a broken record, not really knowing herself what she was asking for.

Was it why he cheated on her? Why he stopped loving her? Why they couldn’t go back to how it was before?

Or was it why she stubbornly never let go?

Ah, she loved no more. Had stopped loving for a long time now. Yet she was so used to how things were that she couldn’t let go.

His sleeping form was peaceful though, so enviously peaceful. There was on his face no more frowns, no more snarl forming on his mouth and there will never be anymore hurting words pronounced by him. As she stayed there and looked, he resembled more the boy and young adult her old self fell in love with than the man she married ever did.

Could she go back? To a time where they wouldn’t break their friendship, where they would be the best friends of the world.

At the background blaring syren's sounds could be heard, but she, in her own little world now, could hear it no longer. Nothing felt real. Nothing other than that image her mind was conjuring.

The gun had long been placed on her temple and as she thought, “dear friend, wait for me” the trigger was pulled.

In life and death, let them never stopped being friends at least.