I always thought that my life is boring. Everything is already planned. I just need to go through with it. Keep my guard up and focus on my surroundings. Smile politely at all the plebians that come my way. I don't care much about them, they only see me as a stepping stone after all, but they could be useful pawns for me in the future. So, I still need to restrain myself when I face them.
This world is ugly.
There is nothing genuine inside it. People might smile at you or praise you. But, you never know what they hide inside their hearts. The nicest person can turn out to be the most malicious one when it comes to power.
People also think of me as a charming being, and I laugh at them inside.
They disgusted me. When I was young and knew nothing, they thought of me as a useless Prince. They compared me to Esteemed Brother. They said it was a pity that it was my mother that had been The Queen and not The Lady Mother. They said it like it was such an unfortunate thing that it was I that had to have the title of Crown Prince. The young, inexperienced, and useless me who— compared to Esteemed Brother, was nothing.
They took away everyone that cares about me. The people outside there, who hides behind power and the titles of their noble houses. Even after everything they did, they still have the gall to smile at me and lick my shoes when they found out that I am just as capable as Esteemed Brother. That even if I am young and inexperienced, the title belongs to me. I am the one that is going to be The King.
If I am allowed to be honest, I don't want to be a King. What I want is to have a peaceful life with the one that I love. Sadly, my position doesn't allow it. If I stop now, I am afraid that everything will be taken away from me again. So, I can only fight.
The world is cruel.
I wish I was not a Prince, then maybe, just maybe, I also can experience how it feels to have a brother. Or even a friend. Why is it that I have to fight with the only brother I have? Why should I feel wary even when I am standing amongst my friends? Can they even can be called friends?
Sometimes, I want to laugh. As I have stated before. There is nothing genuine in this world. My so-called friends are also fake. We smile and get along just fine. Yet, we never dare to bare our heart to each other. Everyone is ugly in my eyes. The only one I find beautiful is her.
She doesn't hide her heart. She doesn't act nice. She doesn't care what people say. She stands by herself. Proud and beautiful. And she is mine. My little beautiful fiancee, Kii Fern Wallace.
Kii is precious. She is my oasis in this deserted world. My salvation. As long as she still here, as long as I still can see her, I feel as if everything is just going to be alright. I cannot get close to her though. If I do, she might disappear, like him. The only person that I ever trusted. The only person that I ever found genuine. The only one that really cares about me. Alexander McCais who had died to protect me.
For our future, I dare not follow my desire. It's okay though. I am a patient person. My future and her future has already been decided. In a few years, she is going to be mine. I can wait. Everything is already planned. No one can take her from me. Kii is already in my hands. Her future, her love, her life, and her everything will be fully mine when the time comes. I know she won't change. So, I am not worried.
Even if I don't want to be The King, to be able to survive here and make Kii happy, I need to be one. After I become The King, surely I can protect her better. Kii will be a perfect Queen. Only then, I won't need to worry about being openly in love with her.
For now, it's okay if she doesn't know that I love her, or if she doesn't love me yet. After we get married, I am sure she will come to love me. It will be perfect if we can just leave this place and go somewhere peaceful. Living our lives quietly without the need to fight for anything. Without the need to be on top.
All my life, I only know how to fight. Not physically, but I always fight. Fighting to be acknowledged, fighting to stay at the top, so they won't be able to get rid of my existence easily. Fighting to be able to live up to my title as The Crown Prince. Fighting my own desire to be free.
And fighting my Esteemed Brother.
Speaking of him... Something weird is happening today. I did nothing out of the ordinary. I did my routine like any other morning. Nothing out of place, but when I reach the cafeteria and was about to have my breakfast like usual, he comes to me. He greets me like it was nothing weird. He even ruffles my hair affectionately. Affectionately!. Like it was a normal thing to do. Spoiler, it was not. We never greet each other nor do we ever act affectionately around each other. He even dragged me to sit with him. So, who can blame me if I was suspicious of him?
While I am happy that I get to sit with Kii for breakfast, my wariness is multiplied. After a few minutes, I noticed that it was not just Esteemed Brother who acted weird. Judging by Kii's confused state, Akai-san, Lady Wallace, and Aoi-kun are also acting out of ordinary.
I didn't know that Esteemed Brother is close with Aoi-kun and Lady Wallace as well. I am aware of his closeness with Akai-san and Prince Rhuifen, but Aoi-kun was usually closer to me and Noah-san rather than him. Did Esteemed Brother try to get everyone that is close to me to be on his side? Did he already start to make a move?
Aoi-kun asked me to talk to them. Is he about to tell me that he is on Esteemed Brother's side now? Why does Kii also need to be involved? Do they want Kii to choose a side as well? They should have known that as my fiancee Kii needs to be at my side, whether she likes it or not. Our engagement is already established. We can't annul it. It is a taboo after all. A lady whose engagement has been annulled will have no value in the eyes of society. Do they want Kii to be the first one to experience it? They won't be that cruel, will they? Not saying that I will just follow what they wish. I won't let Kii go, ever. Even if the world is ending, as long as I can still breathe, I will use anything I have to hold onto her. Kii is mine. No one is allowed to take her.
As my mind is running through all the possibilities of what they want from me, we reached Kii's room in no time. Kii asked why we are in her room, but Aoi explained that we need a secured place to have this discussion. I admit that Aoi is correct in assuming that no one will suspect us having discussions in Kii's room. I put my guard high up in anticipation when Aoi started to say something. What comes from his mouth is something that I never expected him to ask. His words make me certain that there is something weird going on right now.
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"Prince Arzen, Do you love Kii?" Aoi-kun says.
"What the...?" I trailed, taken back by his question. At the same time, my Esteemed Brother and Lady Wallace also said something to Aoi-kun.
"Aoi-kun, you know the answer to that question very well. What is this all about?" asked, my Esteemed Brother. Yes, I want to say, what is this all about, and what does he means when he said that Aoi-kun knows very well the answer to that?
"Aoi-san, how can be you question that now? It is too late to feel doubtful now, don't you think?" Lady Wallace said. Why is it too late? she should say it clearly!
Akai-san who has been quiet all this time suddenly said that Aoi-kun might be onto something. Something is weird he said. I am glad that it was not just me who thinks that. Everyone starts to argue with Akai-san about the weirdness of the situation. Kii looking very confused and tries to make us stop without result. Until...
"Excuse me! Can you all please calm down? Why don't we all take a seat first? I will prepare cups of tea for us.” She said softly yet firmly.
We look at each other and shrugged. Then, we take a seat as Kii busies herself to prepare the tea. Lady Wallace goes to help her after a moment. We sat in silence as we wait for the tea to be ready. Each person has something inside their minds. I was wondering why Aoi-kun suddenly took interest in my feelings towards Kii. I don't recall him ever caring about Kii. He is usually very cold towards her, the people who are less observant may even think that he doesn't care about her at all.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Is Your Highness going to answer my question?" He inquires again as Kii and Lady Wallace pour us a cup of tea. Kii pauses and looks at him in confusion.
"Why is Aoi-sama asking His Highness Crown Prince-sama about that, I wonder?" Kii said softly, she seems unaware that she said it out loud.
"Aoi-sama?" Lady Wallace, Akai-san, and Esteemed Brother said in surprised.
Aoi-kun looks at Kii and smiles sadly. I’ve never seen him smile like that. His smiles are always in category: Cute, Charming or Manipulating, never sad.
Kii, come sit with me.” He pats the space beside him. Kii looks at him then at Lady Wallace. After Lady Wallace gives her a smile then she moves to sit beside Aoi-kun. Aoi-kun caresses her hair softly.
"I need to know his answer. I am your brother. I might not be a very good brother, but I care. I've been wondering all this time. You were always alone, and there are a few bad rumors I heard about you. Also, there is a disturbing rumor about His Highness Arzen as well. So, I got worried and just need to ask him that" He explains.
Rumors? Was he talking about the rumor about Lady Reyes? Some said that Kii is bullying her. They said that Kii keeps humiliating her because she was a new student and still not adapting to the nobility lifestyle. I have met and helped her on several occasion too. Lady Reyes is quite naive and like a child. She is also very clumsy. Kii might feel annoyed by her clumsiness as Kii is a very dignified and elegant lady. I recall that there is also a rumor about me being attracted to her. I never mind the rumor because I think it was not worth my time. A false rumor like that will soon be over by itself. I never knew that Aoi-kun would care about a rumor like that.
"Aoi-san... what are you talking about? what bad rumors? how come I’ve never heard about these rumors? The only bad rumors about Kii-chan that I’ve ever heard was the one about that girl which you know was never Kii's fault. And His Highness? seriously?" Lady Wallace said incredulously.
"Please let me talk and just listen. I promise I will answer all your questions after that" Aoi-kun said while looking at the other three besides Kii and I.
"We understand," Akai-san said, holding her hand up to stop Lady Wallace from asking more questions. She nods at him but still looked sharply at Aoi-kun.
"So, what is the date today?" Aoi-kun suddenly turns to me. I blink in surprise at the change of topic.
"It's June 27th," I said in reflex.
"June" He mused. "Did we already organize the group for the exam?" he continued.
"The student will submit their groups today. We then will review it and announced it on the 30th" I answered.
"Are you already in a group, His Highness?" He inquired again.
"I am not. As a student council president (Esteemed Brother widen his eyes at that as if it was a miracle that I was the president. I mean, he knew that I was the president. Why so surprised?) I am supposed to choose a group last" I answer again.
"I know you don't care about the rumor with That Girl, excuse me, I mean about Lady Reyes, but she might care. I heard she also currently has a problem with her fiance, Noah-san. You have been helping her, I am worried that she might aim to be in your group. If that happens people will fuel the rumor and Kii will once again become the scapegoat. Lady Reyes is naive and charming. She is also very talented. Many people envy her, but of course, they wouldn't dare to harm her openly. But your closeness to her might give them a way to harm her by using Kii's name" He explained.
"You mean like the rumor that Kii is jealous of her and humiliates her?" I said.
"Exactly!" Aoi-kun said, then turning to Kii who was frowning and tilting her head cutely, he asked. "Do you know Lady Reyes, Kii?" at her blank face, he turns to me.
"See? Kii doesn't even know her, how can she humiliate her? Besides, Kii is bad at remembering names and faces" Aoi-kun continues.
"I am not that bad, am I?" Kii muttered to herself.
"You are,"” All of them said to her surprise.
I can't help but smile at her cuteness. Aoi-kun looks at me knowingly. I cough to hide the redness that starts to form on my cheeks.
"So, are you suggesting that I stop helping her?" I said. Not that I care about that lady, but I just don't like it when someone asking me to do something that they think will be best for me.
"Not really. I just hope you can also protect Kii. As her fiance it was your duty, right? I just don't want you prioritizing that girl more than Kii. Kii also doesn't know how to fight or protect herself, and her magic leans more into defense than attack. So, before His Highness decide to help that girl, please think of Kii's safety first. I would like to be with her, but I am in the same year as her, I am not sure the instructor will give me permission for that" Aoi-kun said.
"Aoi-sama..." Kii said in wonder. She must be very surprised at how caring Aoi-kun is about her. I was also surprised, but now I heard that from him, I knew he was right. I was always scared to get close to her, but this might be my chance to be with her even just for a short moment. I will make sure to put Kii in my group.
"I don't want you to be alone, Kii. If I can't protect you, I have to make sure that someone else will. That's why... Ah, you haven't answered my question... His Highness." He said to me.
"Which question?" I frown.
"Do you love, Kii?" He repeats.
"Aoi-sama...!" Kii exclaimed with wide eyes. I feel my own eyes also widen at that. I stare at him. He raised his brow at me.
Looking into his eyes, I knew how serious he is. How important it is for him to hear my answer. My honest answer. So, I smile at him.
"Yes, I do. I love her. In fact, I love her very much."” I tell them. Kii whips her head to look at me and stare blankly as if she wasn't sure that she heard that right. Seeing the look in her face makes me feel guilty. Did she not think that I can love her? It's as if it was the first time she heard that something good is happening. The wonder in her eyes hurt my heart so much. I always think of her as a proud lady, I never thought that she also has this insecure part in her heart.
I keep her on an arm's length so she won't get hurt, but judging from her reaction, it is already hurting her. I thought she doesn't like to be in other people’s company, but what if she was actually lonely? And I, the one that was supposed to be with her is treating her coldly. Coldly... How can I, the genius prince that everyone approved, be so stupid? I was treating her coldly, wasn't I? No wonder she was surprised hearing me admitting that I love her.
I don't wish for her to have a doubt inside her heart. So, I look at her seriously, determinedly. I tell her again.
"I love you, Kii. Since the first time I saw you. At that time when I choose you to be my fiancee."” I smile at her. She blinks her eyes at me before looks down with flushed cheeks. God, she is blushing. I have never see her blush before. It's adorable. How did I just realized that my fiancee is not only beautiful but also adorable?
I am well aware that Aoi-kun has been manipulating me all this time, but I forgive him and play along with his game. He was worried about his sister after all. I know when someone is faking something. His politeness toward me is fake but his worry about Kii is genuine. Even if it was a half, I forgive him because I finally found one more person that is genuine.
While I was distracted by Kii's adorable expression, it seems that the others were also having their own hushed discussion. I heard the words 'explain', 'married', 'weird', 'uncle Ra', 'Lexy' and other things that do not make sense. I was about to ask them about it when Aoi-kun suddenly claps his hands in a fake cheerfulness. He smiles at Kii and I, and said that he just remembered that he has some other important thing to do and drags the others out of the room leaving us alone in a confused state. He doesn't even wait for me to dismiss him. Isn't he rude?
"They are gone. So fast..." Kii trails in wonder.
"Indeed" I answer her.
We look at each other, suddenly aware that we are alone in a room. Kii looks down in embarassment.
"We should leave too. The class must have started" She said.
"Yes," I said in a distracted voice. This is the first time I saw her being embarrassed. She looks lovely, my mind though. Meanwhile, my heart beats faster than usual at her flushed look. It seems that the dark part in my heart is thinking about some other possibility to make her face flush even more red.
I shake my head to return back my focus. I saw Kii cleaning the cups that have been used to serve tea. I remember that she doesn't have maids to help her. Most nobles usually bring their attendants to the academy to serve them, but Kii brought none.
"Let me help you," I tell her.
"I can't possibly let His Highness to clean..." Kii starts
"Kii, let me help you.” I cut.
After a few arguments back and forth, Kii finally let me help her. As we are already late to attend class, I decided to escort her back so I can explain to the instructor that Kii was late because I have something to discuss with her. We agreed that something weird is going on today. We plan to ask an explanation from Aoi-kun as soon as we saw him again.
The world is ugly.
I never knew that my decision to escort Kii to her class would become such a big deal. I am not aware that from it will bear a new vicious rumor about Kii. I never thought that my boring life will change. This ugly world also has started to change. And in all those ugliness, new beautiful bonds are born.
Something weird is going on... and because of it my world has changed.