Round 1: Universeman versus Demon Lord!
“Ba ha ha ha! With you 999 waifus, I now have enough virgins for the ritual!” The DemonLord laughs evilly. "I'm going to be the strongest!"
“No! Please! Someone help me!” a yellow haired girl cries.
“Please no!" Another girl is crying too. "I’m not even virgin!"
"What? You're not a virgin?... No problem! I can just make you a virgin again! Ba ha ha ha ha!” the DemonLord laughs louder.
“Noooo! Pleaseee!” the girls cry louder!
“Why not? Watch me! Adacabraa---” the Demon Lord waves his stick, but is interrupted.
“Vinnnnnnn! Dimension shift! BOOM! Ha ha ha landing so cool! Sorry I’m late!” a purple skinned man appears.
“What? Who the heck are you?” the Demon Lord eyes shot open.
“It’s you! Universeman!” a girl with green hair yells cheerfully.
“Haaa? What the heck is Universeman?” the Demon Lord shouts.
“What? You don’t know ME!?” the man shouts back.
“No, I don’t!” the Demon Lord shouts louder.
“It’s ME! UNIVERSEMAN!” the man shouts even louder than the Demon Lord. “THE MAN OF UNIVERSE! My left eye shines like the sun and my right eye glows like the moon!" he then makes a cool pose, "the death star is the core of my heart and the black hole is boiling inside my stomach!”
“Blackhole inside his stomach!!! Oh my god so cool!” a brown haired girl yells.
“And I can sneeze shooting stars!”
“Universeman I love you!”
“NO! I STILL DON’T KNOW YOU! WRYYYY!” the Demon Lord is now screaming, trying to silent the girls and Universeman..
“Jeeez... “ Universeman sighs. “You are the Demon Lord, but don’t know me? Are you stupid?”
"Heeeze..." the girls signs too. “So stupid~~~~~"
“INSOLENT!” the Demon Lord gets angry, then pulls out a gun and shots! “Pew PEW!... What? I missed?”
“Ha ha ha ha!” Universeman hugs his stomach and laughs. “This mere tiny weapon can harm me? Ridiculous!”
“Haa? What ridiculous?” the Demon Lord is triggered. “But how did you do it?”
“Simple!” Universeman then explains, “that bullet flew with the speed of six millions seven hundred and sixty five thousands five hundreds and fifty four miles per second. Then I just have to move at the speed of six millions seven hundred and sixty five thousands five hundreds and fifty four point one miles per second to dodge! It’s science!”
“Science my ass!” the Demon Lord shouts angrily. “I’m not very good at math, but I know you are just bluffing!”
“Pfffft!” Universeman shakes his head. “If you think so, then what can I do to make you believe me?”
“Ba ha ha! If you are that powerful,” the Demon Lord makes a smug face, “have a taste of my ultimate move!”
“Haha! Come! I will taste them all!” Universeman puffs his chest.
“Alright! Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~... cha-ching!” the Demon Lord is charging his ultimate! “One hundred thousand percent! Eat this! Demon Flaming burn of Death Beam Pshowwwwwwww!!!!!”
“Oh no! Watch out Universeman!” the girls scream in worry! “It’s Death Beam PshoW!”
“Pshoww pshowww! COMBO! Demon Flaming burn of Death Beam Pshowwwwwwww x2! Pshowwwww! Pshowwww! Pshowwww! Pshowwwww! Pshowwww!”
“X2 my ass!” a black haired girl shouts. “You shot that shit 5 times already! Noooooo Universeman!!!!!”
“Nooooo!!!!”
“Silent! I said I’m not good at math! Didn’t you hear?”
“You! You are such a bad guy!”
“Of course! I’m the Demon Lord ba ha ha ha!”
“Oh no… Universeman…” the girls cry…”only his ashes left… hu hu hu”
“Ba ha ha ha! Universeman is no more!” the Demon Lord laughs out loud. “He died under my Demon Flaming icy beam Pshowww!!!”
“Wooooosssh! Regenerationnnn!” Universeman comes back!
“No way!” the Demon Lord screams in disbelief. “I blew him up to pieces smaller than electrons so how can he even regenerate?”
“Ha ha haa!” Universeman laughs. “What an awesome ultimate move you have there! But not nearly enough! I can only be killed if you reduce me to one-hundredth size of the smallest electron!”
“Then eat this! Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ …” the Demonlord is charging again! “cha-ching! One million trillion percent! Eat this! Demon Explosion of Death Ray Pwh-”
“No! I refuse to eat that!” Universeman shakes his head. “Black Hole SunLight! Kapooowwww!!!”
“Aaaa! what is this sunligh!? I’m burninggg!!! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!”
“Ha ha ha! One more! Huuuuuuu~ … Black Hole Sunlight Kapoooowwww!!!”
“Aaaaaaaa!” the Demon Lord is dying! “Aaaaaaa!”
“One more time! Scream with me girls!” Universeman charges his skill one last time. Sunlightttttttttttt…”
He and the girls shouts in unison. “KAPOWWWWWWW!!!!!”
“AAAAaaaa.. Uu.. urhh…blah blah, I’m vomiting blood!… blah blah I died,” the Demon Lord ist ded.
----------------------------------------
“Yes! We did it! The Demon Lord is no more! Thank you Universeman! Thank you very much!” a white haired girl smiles and pours wine into Universeman’s glass.
“Aha! No problem!” Universeman sips wine, celebrating. “Now, I will untie all of you and return you home!”
“Yeaaaaah! Let’s go to Universeman’s home!” all the girls cheer.
“What?” Universeman shakes his head. “No no no, not my home, your home!”
“Yadaaa~!” the girls protest.
“My house is too fa-- No, it’s destroyed!” a grey haired girl cries. “Demon Lord destroyed my house!”
“Yeahhh! My house too!”
“Mine too!”
“I see…” Universeman scratchs his chin.
“Since we all have no place to return, please let us go with you great hero Universeman! We want to serve you! You can do anything with us!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Universeman refuses. “I’m not dense enough to not understand your motives. However… I have swore to my heart that I will only be interested in lolis!”
“Then make us loli!” a transparent haired girl yells. “Make us your loli please!”
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.
“Yes! Universeman please!”
“Aha! What a nice idea!” Universeman’s eyes glow upon hearing that. “But are you sure about this?”
“Yes! Please make us your loli so we can sneak into your bed and call you onii-chan every day!” the girls answer in unison.
“Haha! Very well! I will use my spell now, so hang in there!” Universeman waves his stick, a magical circle appears
“Yes! Hooray! All the girls cheer in happiness. “Loli time!”
“Ravioli ravioli, please make these girls my loli loli...” Universeman is chanting… lights of culture appear. “Yoshhh! Here I gooo!!!! There’s no turning back now!”
“YESSS! LOLIFY US!”
“Oraaaaaaaaaa! Anime blessing, second move!” Universeman shouts and points his stick at the girls. “LOLIFICATION!!!”
“Uwaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” such an intense light! “Uwahhhhhhh!!!!!”
“Hang in thereee girlsss!!!!” Universeman shouts.
“AAAAaaa!” the girls’ body is changing! “My hands are shrinking! My skin is shining!!”
“My voice!! Fwa fwaaaaaaaaa!!!”
“Swwuuuuuwahhhhh!!!”
“Uwahhhhhh!!!!”
“Aaaaa… I’m cuming!!!”
“I’m cumming toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! NYAAAAHHHHH!”
...
“Huff huff” Universeman is now breathing heavily as he just used so much power. “Transformation complete! I accidentally turned some of you into babies, but other than that it was a great success! Ha ha ha ha!”
“Yes! I’m so happy!” a blue haired loli throws her hands up.
“I’m all flat now yayyy!” a pink haired loli is exploring her own chest.
“Oooooh! I have cat ears!” another loli says.
“Thank you, onii-chan!” all the lolis smile at the same time.
“HA ha ha!” Universeman blushes. “Very good! Now follow me! Let’s go ho-...”
“BOOM! EXPLOSION LANDING SO COOL! NOT SO FAST UNIVERSEMAN!” another purple guy appears, interrupting the teleportation.
“What!? It’s YOU! WHAT are you doing here?” Universeman shouts in surprise, as the guy looks exactly like him! “UNIVERSEMAN… ALTER!?”
----------------------------------------
Round 2: Universeman versus Universeman-Alter!
“BOOM! EXPLOSION LANDING! NOT SO FAST UNIVERSEMAN!”
“What!? It’s YOU! WHAT are you doing here?” Universeman shouts in surprise “UNIVERSEMAN… ALTER!?”
“HE HE HE! It’s me!” Universeman-Alter greets everyone with an evil laugh. “I personally don’t have anything against you. But now, you have done it!”
“Haaa? I have done what?” Universeman asks.
“How dare you turn all women in my universe to loli!?”
“Oh no!” Universeman hugs his head. “My desire for lolis was too strong! All the girls in every universe are lolis now!”
“Yes, that even includes every alternative universe!” Universeman-Alter yells. "Now for my sake, turn them back!"
But Universeman shakes his head. “I refuse! I shall do no such thing as to reduce the number of lolis in any universe! It's my universe way!”
“Then I’ll have no choice but to fight you Universeman,” Universeman-Alter says. “for the sake of all women!”
“Okay! Let’s decide things with a fight, Universeman Alter!” Universeman says, accepting the challenge.
----------------------------------------
“Eat this!” Universeman-Alter takes out his weapon! “Woooosh wwoosssshh!!! Thousand spinning broom!”
“Oh no!” Universeman shouts, terrified.
“Hahaha!” Universeman-Alter laughs. “Faster spinning! Million spinning broom of d- OUCH!!! Arrghhhhh my teeeth!”
“Arrrgh! How can you hit your own face there?” Universeman says with a painful voice.
“I- I messed up!” Universeman-Alter says. “Again! Heyyaaa! Million spinning broo- AAA! FUCK TABLES!... Arrgghhhh… please wait a second, I will come back in a moment…
----------------------------------------
“Seriously? Who the hell put banana peels here?”
----------------------------------------
“Grrr… I’m back!” Universeman Alter is back! “Now Let’s resume our fight, Universeman!”
“YES! I’m ready, Universeman Alter!” Universeman says, full of confidence.
“Alright! Eat this!” Universeman-Alter is going to perform his ultimate again! “WOooooooo sssshhh wooooo sssshhh!!!! Million spinning brooms of d- Ouuuuuuchhh!!!!! my balls !!! ….. Aaaaa…. FUCK BROOM! …. Aaaa… time out! Time out!”
----------------------------------------
“Aaaaa… seriously? The hell is wrong with this broom today?”
----------------------------------------
“Grrr… I’m back again!” Universeman Alter is back once more! “Broom no more! Behold! My Excaliber of Death!” he shouts and takes out his new weapon.
“Oh no! New weapon!” Universeman’s face is all white now! “I-Is that... The Excalibor!?”
“YES!”
“Oh no! I’m screwed!” Universeman hugs his head, trembling. “I don’t have any legendary weapons!”
“Meow~~~”
“Eh?” Universeman looks down at his feet as he just heard something.
~Meow~ …. Meow~~~~~”
“Aha! My servant has come to aid me!” Universeman shouts cheerfully. “I don’t fear your sword no more!”
~Meow~!~
“Oh no! It’s the Cat Disaster!” Universeman-Alter exclaims.
“Yes! He’s THE Cat Disaster!” Universeman nods. “He’s the loyal servant of Universeman! With his unmatched power and awesome moves like lightning, no evil can escape!”
“Oh no… It’s not fair!” Universeman-Alter is shaking! “It’s 2 on 1, NOT FAIR!” he screams.
“Who says life is fair? Too naive! Ha ha ha ha!” Universeman laughs. “Come on Cat Disaster! Show him what you got!”
~Meow~~w!~
“Hmmm… what is he doing?” Universeman-Alter asks.
~Meow~
“He is charging his ultimate move, wait a second.”
“Okay…”
~Meow… Meow~
“Alright! He has finished charging!” Universeman then laughs. “Now tremble! Tremble before Cat Disaster’s laser beam of cat! *Hup*! Come on Cat Disaster! Show him! Show him what you- …”
~MERRRWWWWWDAREYOUTOUCHMESTUPIDHOOMEOWWW!!!!!!!
“AAAAAAAA! My face!” Universeman hugs his bloody face! “Cat Disaster! Why did you betray me!? Ouchh!”
“Uwahhhh… It hurts… Uwahhh… Stop, stop this fight for a moment Universeman Alter!” Universeman begs. “I-I… I must get back for some healing.”
“Okay! I will be waiting… uwahhh...” Universeman-Alter agrees.
----------------------------------------
“”Woah, that's some sharp claws, Alex,” I says, “Guess I’ll have to trim your claws tonight…”
~Meowwww~
“Let’s see... where is the bandage? Hmmmm…”
~Meow~~~ Meowww~~~
“O-ya? Why are you following me to the kitchen? You’re hungry?”
~Meow~ <3
“Okay, let’s feed you first.”
...
----------------------------------------
“Aha! I’m back Universeman Alter!” Universeman shouts. “The traitor has been executed!”
“Good!” Universeman-Alter thumbs up. “Let’s resume our fight!”
“Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Sparkle transformation! Blink blink blink blink blink! Magical girl suit male version three point one activate! Magical girl meter nine thousand!!!”
“Oh no! You tricked me!!!” Universeman-Alter eye’s shot open in disbelief! “You told me to wait for your healing, but instead, you went to get the magical girl suit!”
“Ahaaaa!” Universeman laughs in a magical girl dress. “As I said, You’re too naive!!! Now eat this! Huuuuuuu~.... Magical girl... ThunderRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Bzurrrrrr bzurrrrrrr!!!!!”
“AAaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!” Universeman-Alter is being zapped!
“BZurrrrrrrrrr! bzurrrrrrr!!!!!”
“BLoblobloblob...“ Universeman-Alter’s mouth is now foaming up!
“Haha! You are quite strong!” Universeman says after using the skill. “You survived the Magical girl ThunderRRR! Now eat this instead! Magicalllllllllll … PUNCHES! POWWWWW POWWWW~!”
“Pwuahhhhhh!” Universeman-Alter can’t react so he received the punches head on.
“POWWWWW!” another punch to the chin of Universeman-Alter!
“My head is flying!” Universeman-Alter screams! “How can that punch be s powerful aaaa!!!”
“HAhahAHA!!!” Universeman laughs. “Now i will punch your legs and arms off too! Pooow POW!”
“AAAAAA! Nooo!!! Not my arms too!” Universeman-Alter loses his limbs. “Regenerate!!! RegeneratE!!!”
“But my punches are faster!” Universeman is still puniching! “Pow pow pow pow pow a million times a second!”
“Super Regeneration!!!! Super hyper Regenreration of Death!” Universeman’s leg grows back despite being punched off seconds ago. “A trillion regeneration a second!”
“Then I will punch you a ten trillion times a second! Pow pow pow pow pow pow pow!
“A million trillion regeneration a second!”
“Too slow! A triple million trillion trillion times a second! P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!!”
“Aaaaaa!!!! His punches are too fast! Aaaaa!!! Can’t keep up with this!!!!” Universeman-Atler screams.
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!!!”
“Aaaaaa… I’m being turned to dust! Noooo!!!” Universeman-Alter is fading away!
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-POWW!!!” Universeman still going!
“Nooo…. Blah blah … vomiting blood … Blah blah i died!” Universeman-Alter is dead.
...
“Like hell I will believe that!” Universeman shouts! “One trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion punches a seconddd!!!”
“AAAAAaaaaaa!” Universeman-Alter’s voice is still here! “How can you see through my fake death! Aaaaaa!!!!”
“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pow!” Universeman is punching the air but it's actually Universeman's Alter last cells!
“Nooooo!.. Urrrghhhh .uuuu … Blah blah… vomiting real blood… blah blah … i died.” Universeman-Alter is dead for real.
...
“Hmmmm… No! That’s not your real death either! Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppow!!”
“AAaaaaaa!!!!! Nooooo!!!!! … Blah blah. … Vomiting blood for real… blah blah… I died 100% for real this time.” Universeman-Alter ist ded.
...
“Hmmmp!!!" Universeman nods, satisfied. "Now that’s a real death!” He says.
----------------------------------------
“Yes!!! Thank you Universeman!” a silver haired girl kisses Universeman’s cheek.
“Haha! Thank you!” Universeman says with a blush on his face. “Universeman-Alter ist ded. The universe can now finally be safe!”
“Is… is it over?” a creamy haired girl then asks.
….
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Universeman yells, “Don’t trigger that flag!”
“BOOOOOOOM! BERYMAN IS HERE! ROCKS FLYING PEW PEW PEW! DARKNESS LANDING SO COOL!"
"Oh no..." Universeman face palms.
"NOT SO FAST, UNIVERSEMAN!”
----------------------------------------
Round 3: Universeman versus Beryman!
“Universeman…” the macho Beryman looks at Universeman with disgusted eyes.
“Hmmm… So you have come for me, BERYMAN?” Universeman greets him with disgusted eyes too. “Or should I say … BLUEBERY!?”
‘What?” Beryman is in disbelief. “How can you know my real name!?”
“I know all lolicons’ names! And you are my number one lolicon rival!”
“Oh no! My secret has been found!” Beryman shouts. “Then I cannot let you live for another day…” he then speaks with a low voice. “Prepare to die!”
“Yes!” Universeman accepts the challenge. “However, I have to teleport all these loli girls to my place for their safety! first”
“Noooo!” the lolis protest “Universeman! We want to fight with you!!!”
“No girls!” Universeman shakes his head. “This guy is very dangerous! Even I only have one percent chance of victory!”
“Nooo! We don’t care!” one serpent haired girl pouts. “Please let me help you! Use our power!” she then begs with teary eyes.
“You done talking, Universeman?” Beryman is losing his patience.
“No! Please wait a second, Beryman! I must finish convincing these girls!”
“Alright! You now have five minutes!”
----------------------------------------
“Listen, girls,” Universeman turns and with a stick, he begins casting a spell. “Leave this place immediately, and please tell my sister that I love h...”
“TIME BENDING! Five minutes is over!” Beryman suddenly moves. “Omae wa mou shindeiru!”
“What?” Universeman turns around, but too late!
“Pshoww!!! ONE PUNCHHHHHHH!!!!”
“UwahhhhH!!!! Vomiting blood and died!” Universeman ist ded.
“Nooooooooo!” the girls are all shredding tears, screaming. “Universemannnnnnn!!!!!!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha! You’re too naive, Universeman!” Beryman makes a statement. “Only bakas would fall for that! Now with your death, all your lolis will belong to ME!!!” he then walks towards the girl.
“Nooooo!” a loli girl with hair on fire screams “I will not be yours! I belong to Universeman!!!”
“Don’t you girls dare talk back to me! Or I will lewd you!” Beryman shouts with scary eyes, as hundreds of tentacles are growing out from him.
“No…..”
“WOSSSSHHH!H!!! REGENERATION!!!” Universeman ist bac!
“What?” Beryman startles. “How can you even survive my serious punch?”
“Ha ha ha!” Universeman laughs. “Turns out I am the incarnation of anime justice! As long as there is loli who need protection, I cannot die!”
“WHATT?” Beryman panics. “How is that even possible?”
“I’m sorry girls!” Universeman then turns around, smiling at his lolis. “I’m so sorry for rejecting your emotions. Now that I know your feelings for me are real! Then I cannot let myself lose to this lowly evil, who exists just to lewd as much lolis as possible!”
“Yayyyy!” all the girls cheer in unison. “We love you Universeman!”
“Goood, now please help me girls!” Universeman says. “For the sake of all lolis in the universe! No, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL LOLIS IN EVERY UNIVERSEE!”
“WHAT?” Beryman takes a few steps back, as something just appeared on Universeman’s palm. “What is that? What is this shining ball of light?” he screams in fear.
“It’s the ultimate form of all Loli’s love in the Universe gathering inside my palm! The purest form of Love!” Universeman explains with a passionate voice “It’s the Ultimate energy bomb! And with this, we will destroy you!”
“No! No! It can’t be! Aaaaa!” Beryman tries to run, but trips on his own tentacles.
“Take this!” Universeman is about to launch the attack!
“NOOO!” Beryman screams his lungs out. “The power is too much! Even I, Beryman, cannot take it! No! Stop! Please! STOPPPPP!!!!!”
“You are already ded!” Universeman states, then turns his head look at the lolis. “Are you ready?”
“YES!!!” all the girls shout at the same time. “R’ETZ GO!!!”
“Then hereeeee weeeeee gooooo!” Universeman says. Say it with me!!!”
“NOoooooooo!!!!!!” Beryman is screaming and shivering and shaking and peeing!
“UNIVERSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Universeman is putting all his power into this one attack!
“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
“LOLI!!!” and the girls are also praying with all their hearts too!
“STOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!”
“EXPLOSIONNNN!!!”
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOMMM!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!...
----------------------------------------
“Hah… hah... “ Universeman breathes heavily. “Woah… what an attack…” he mutters. “Beryman… ist ded.”
----------------------------------------
Epilogue
“Yes! He’s dead! Beryman is dead!!!” all the lolis are now hugging Universeman, congratulating him on his epic victory.
“No, ist ded!” Universeman says, correcting them.
“Yes!!” the lolis say. “We love you Universeman! You are so awesome!”
“Haha! I know!” Universeman says with a manly smile. “Now there’s not even a single evil remaining in this Universe to lewd you girls, I have fulfilled my ultimate goal! To protect all the lolis!”
“Thank you Universeman!” a neon haired girl now speaks. “Thank you! You are now our only onii-chan!”
“Haha! Yes!” Universeman says, blushing.
“Now, onii-chan…” a veeeeery kawai loli speaks with a suuuuuuper soft voice. “How about... a k-k-kiss? As a reward?”
“Yes! Let us kiss you!” The other girls also agree. “Just this time! O-ni-i-chan!”
“Woahhh!!! Woah woah woah woah!!!” Universeman startles! “Ahh..aah, I’m afraid, I can’t directly lewd any loli, that’s against my universe way.”
“Then… how about indirectly?” a random loli then says.
"In... directly?
“How about… we give you... our panties?”
“YESSS!” Universeman agrees!
----------------------------------------
“Here, onii-chan!” The girls are now giving Universeman their panties.
“Oooooh,” Universeman blushes. “It’s her panties...”
“Onii-chan, what are you going to do with our panties?” the closest loli girl asks.
“O-ya? What am I going to do?” Universeman asks himself. “Well… this is not counted as directly lewding, sooooooo…
…
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PANTIES? STUPID BROTHERR!???”