Chapter 2: A Choice to Make

  I've been in the magic forces headquarters for about a month now, rehabilitating my body. I may have felt fine when I was conversing with Alice, but in reality my body was not completely healed. I would be fine in just a couple days to a week if I were receiving constant attention from the healing mages. But they only recovered me from a fatal state. The rest of my body would heal on its own, especially since wizards naturally used their own magic to grow cells more quickly. However, because I’ve never used magic before in my life, my body seemed to heal at a normal human rate. Well that's not true, Alice told me that my body reacted to the sudden change in environment and used magic to increase my durability, stamina, and agility, although to a very small extent.

  This fraction of M.F is located in Darlington, Washington. They have bases all over earth, waiting to jump into action. Being an Enforcer, entails that you travel to a whole new world, working for the government, and fighting criminals. Of course many Krayens aspire to be an Enforcer, but for me, Earth isn't anything new, I don't care about the Krayen government, and I'm too weak to fight anybody. It really shouldn't be a hard decision, go to Krayer, and learn magic. But then again, I don’t want to be too hasty. In the end, what’s a life worth living if you constantly think about how you could have done things differently. That’s why I'm going to put more thought into this decision, I don’t want any regrets.

  Regrets? Isn’t the only thing I regret in my life, me? I ask myself...If I go to Krayer, and I learn magic, how will I change. Maybe, I could be the protagonist in my own life. If I were the main character of a stereotypical isekai story, what would I do? I smiled at the idea of being a “hero”. I have never done anything heroic in my life. Getting my ass kicked for those people, crossed my mind. I shook my head, there's nothing heroic about what I did. A hero isn't just a person with good intentions. Anyone could have done what I did. It's time to be honest with myself, I'm not like Alice, or my mom. Strong wizards, with amazing abilities, having had awesome adventures in their lives. I will be just as lost as I am now if I go to Krayer. Plus if I stay on earth, I can find out more about my parents, and form friends with people within these headquarters.

  Speaking of friends, Alice came to visit frequently while I was here. I guess she wanted to know more about the child of the person she cared about. There wasn't much I could tell her, but she had plenty to tell me. “Diana was pretty much the greatest role model anyone could ever ask for. I’m glad to have been her friend.” Alice’s statements of my mother were comforting, however I wish I knew how I ended up in the orphanage.

  After learning the full name of my mother, Diana Fault, I scoured the internet in order to find out more about her. Nothing in past obituaries, nothing in the news, no articles about her death, nothing. To make matters worse, Alice didn't tell me much about my father. Only that he took my mother's maiden name, he's from earth, his name was Sung-Bok Park, and was never told about magic. How could finding a piece of my past lead to so many more questions.

  One Tuesday morning Alice came for her usual visit.

  “Hey Alice. What kind of magic did my mom… Diana use?” Alice smiled. As she always does when reminiscing about my mother.

  “She used fire magic. But not just that. Amongst wizard’s fire magic is highly common and popular. However, the only limitations of magic, is in your mind.

  Diana’s skill with fire was extraordinary, her basic magic power was as strong as any intermediate wizard, and her abilities extended more than just calling the flames. With her own mix of martial arts and casting spells, she was a phoenix dancing in the wind. A lot of times magic is influenced from your emotions, fire magic especially. The most amazing thing about Diana is her ability to keep a calm head, despite using such a ferocious magic. To sums things up, she was very hot.”

  “Yo Alice?” I said with a smirk on my face. “Yes Jae?”

  “Were you gay for my mother?” Alice’s face turned bright red. “Wha-a-at are...”

  “I mean it makes sense. The way you talk about her, how your face turns sour every time I mention my father, You’re 37, yet still unmarried. You know gay marriage is legal in Washington now right?” Alice pulled my collar towards her. We were face to face.

  “37 is still a ripe age to find a husband. ALRIGHT!?” Of everything I had just said, being unmarried had hit her the hardest. “And no, I did not have an unrequited relationship with Diana. I just respect her highly.” Alice said, very up tightly. “But, it must have been nice to live in a state that allows same sex marriage.” replied Alice with a smile on her face, trying to shoot my joke back at me, but at this point I was laughing to hard at her reaction to even care to what she was saying. Seeing my reaction just sighed and let go of my collar, saying something about teenagers which made me laugh even more.

  It took me a while to calm down because her face expression was just priceless. However, I finally managed to do it somehow and looked back at Alice. Whenever Alice talks about my mom, her eyes light up like Christmas lights. She must have really cared for Diana. She came to Earth when she was my age. This made her 37, super old for what she looks like. I mean when I first saw her I thought she was in her twenties. Alice reached Earth, knowing very little of it, but she met my mom. Diana taught her all about this world, along with being her confidant, friend, and backbone. They were mentor and student until my mom left magic all behind to be with my dad. I guess the reason why Alice gets bitter when talking with me about my father, was because my mom sorta left her.

  The times where I wasn't talking with Alice, or researching about my parents, I was reading up on the events that occurred a month ago. The news didn't cover the magic incident anymore. But from what I've been reading online, the accident Alice had described before seemed to be the cover up. A mentally unstable guy puts bombs everywhere, and killed a bunch of people. I keep wondering to myself, what happened to those people I saved. I saw my name with the people confirmed dead, but nothing about a sacrifice. Well not like it matters to me, I'm “dead” now.

  Returning to society would be a lot more difficult now, before it was a matter of altering some memories of the people in the incident, then lying to the people outside. Two weeks ago, I wasn't confirmed dead yet, so I could have sneaked back into society appearing heavily injured, and being hospitalized. But now I can't just show up a month after the accident and say oops I'm not dead. It's impossible.

  Alice had originally given me 3 options. To either re-enter society, stay at the headquarters for the rest of my life, or go to Krayer. Re-entering society is sort of a no go now. This left me with the two.

  Isn't this exactly what I want. Escaping this monotonous world, and finding a new one. Exploring, going on adventures, even using magical powers. To be stronger, to find romance, to make friends and family through journeys. I could be the guy that saves the damsel in distress, be a hero. But those are just dreams. I'd be lying if I said those things would happen. Plus, right now, I don't really want to leave. Sure I'll be stuck in the confines of a building, never to leave again, the same feeling as being trapped in my old world. But let's be honest, even with this chance, i'll mess it up.

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  Alice had a knack for coming into my room when I was thinking.

  “Yo. How you holding up?” Alice asked as she walked into my room.

  “Pretty good, my body feels fine and I don’t see or feel anything wrong with it.” I responded.

  “I don't mean that, it's been a month, of course you're fine. I mean, on your decision.”

  “Do you have a power that tells you what I'm thinking?” I asked her trying to find out how she had got what I was thinking spot on.

  “Nah. Call it woman's intuition.” We both laughed.

  “Hey you've been on your ass for a while now, let's go outside and get some fresh air.” said Alice, grabbing my hand and leading me to who knows where. I really haven't thought about it, but I haven't moved much since being hospitalized, much less outside of this room. Left, right, right left. I was led outside of the M. F.’s headquarters, and straight through the door was the night sky. There was no window in my room, so I hadn't even realized it was night.

  The stars were shimmering above us, shining brightly in the sky. We were very far away from any major cities, and the stars seemed to shine brighter as to thank us.

  “So tell me, what's in that stupid brain of yours?”  Alice started.

  “Well aside from porn, deciding on crucial life choices has come across my mind pretty frequently. Sigh.. I don't know Alice. I would like to go to Krayer, but someone like me would never be able to make the best out of it.”

  “Do you really think that lowly of yourself? You're too bright of a kid, to be this stupid. People that can't find the value in themselves are the worst people of all”

  “Yeah, everybody hates Hitler, because of his self esteem. Killing the Jews was only a small reason why he's the most hated man in history.” I smirked at my own joke, but Alice wasn't having it.

  “You're underestimating yourself. You have compassion, and would be dedication if only you had the conviction.”

  “What are you getting at?” I looked at her confused, not knowing where she was going with this.

  “I'm saying that, like these stars, even you can shine beautifully.” Alice finished her sentiment with a smile, and her arms crossed. I appreciate her remarks, but we've only known each other for 2 weeks. I admit I've talked extensively about my life with her, and i grew fond of her, but it's not like she knows who I am.

  “Alice, thank you… but whatever image you have of me, I'm sorry but it's all a facade. I know I'm her son, but I'm not my mother.” I didn't intend to hurt her feelings, but Alice looked crushed. I began to apologize, but she smiled and said “I know you aren't. I also know that you're amazing, and I believe in you.”

  “Why do you trust me so much?” I was filled with doubt, but a part of me was thrilled to hear these compliments, and wondered in anticipation. She barely knew me, it’s not like I did something to make her trust me so much.

  “I pride myself in my judge of character.” I shook my head, but begun to laugh, we both were. It felt somewhat good, to have someone trust you. Even if she won't give me a reason as to why, I'm still content with it. “Thanks Alice.”

  Later that night I analysed my situation, and considered the variables. Why am I so hesitant to go to Krayer? Am I afraid, I won't find what I want? What exactly is it, that I want? I thought back to my life at the orphanage. I was outcasted by the other kids for being different. At school, I was outcasted by the other kids for being different. And even in society, I felt like I was being outcasted by everybody, for being different.

  Alice Widell, I've only known her for a month, half of it in a coma, but she has been quick to accept me. I keep telling myself I want to be different, stronger, a better person than I am now. I still believe that, but it feels like I already accomplished that by being with her. I think all I needed was a friend. I've decided, who needs magic, I'll stay here.

  Going outside made me realize that I actually miss moving around. If I'm stuck in the headquarters, I need some exercise. I got out of bed and walked out the door. I turned right, and continued down the hallway. As I walked down the path there were multiple rooms by my side. The rooms were either closed, empty, or had an injured body in them. This must be the emergency room area of the magic headquarters. There were very few people actually injured here, I guess magic incidents don't occur enough to where this emergency room is as hectic as a real one.  I was told that I was the only outsider that was ever brought into the headquarters. Non-wizards would normally never be brought in under any circumstances, but Alice did anyways. Well I guess I technically am a wizard, damn either Alice is a prophet, or this is the power of a woman’s intuition.

  I continued down the corridor and a man was walking opposite my direction. He was wearing a white and blue suit. His skin was tanned, his body was well built, but not too much, it was more of a fighter’s body that gained its muscles from training and fighting instead of bodybuilding. He was about 6’3” tall, and had jet black hair styled up. He was staring menacingly at me as we crossed paths. Jeez, I know I'm not the best to look at, but still.

  “You need something? Bro!” I asked, trying to sound tough to match his face, but my voice tapered in the middle and I screamed out “bro” trying to raise my pitch back to normal. The man with menacing eyes just kept staring, unwavering. O.K. this is awkward, I started walking past the man, but he finally said something.

  “Why are you still here?”

  “Ummm, I'm rehabilitating here.”

  “For a whole month? Why do you recover like a little bitch?” I was confused. “What the hell do you want man?”

  “If you can’t do as little as take care of your own body, the magic forces won't be able to use you for anything. A weakling like you has no value for us. You'd just be a magicless wizard, worse than a shark with no fin, freeloading off of Alice’s kindness. Just leave.” The man walked away.

  “Was he scary looking?” Alice asked, completely unsympathetic to my encounter with Mr. makes a shark metaphor, despite having eyes like one.

  “Pshh, not even a little. The next time I see him, I'm gonna tell him off. That asshole thinks he so great for picking on a newbie. I’ll show him, I’ll be the best magic enforcer there is.”

  “Sigh. So you’re content with staying here on Earth?” Alice asked seemingly disappointed. Although, she tried to hide it, her tone was still a bit distraught.

  “What’s the matter? I  know you wanted me to go, but I thought at least you'd be happy with whatever decision i'd make.”

  “It is your decision, your right. I’m sorry.” Her words… they weren't convincing.

  “I'm not a kid, just tell me what you think, honestly.”

  “O.K… Then, just how do you expect to get stronger by staying here, no one here has the teaching capabilities to help you. You won’t efficiently learn magic” I won’t learn magic by staying here? The words of the man rang through my head, You’d be a magicless wizard, worse than a shark with no fin… I would be free loading off of Alice’s kindness.

  “Alice…”

  “Yes, Jae?” she looked at me with analyzing eyes, probably trying to find out where this was going.

  “Do you not want me to stay?” I asked her straight on, not even bothering beating around the bush.

  “W-w-why would yo…”

  “Please just answer.” I interrupted. Alice looked at me sadly “I don’t want you to stay.”

  In my mind I knew the answer, in my mind I told myself to accept it, but I just can’t. Damn it why does everyone want me to go, my school, the orphanage, Alice...my parents… Why does everyone hate me. They all leave me, what's wrong with me. Dammit I'm all alone! I was so afraid of being weak, being the same as the assholes that taunted me, I didn't realize that I'm actually afraid of being left alone, that and spiders. I'm lonely. I just wanted at least 1 friend to accept me for who I am.

  “Jae, I don't hate you.” Alice popped my train of thought. “I also think that you're special. So more than anything I want you to go to Krayer and learn magic.”

  This all makes sense to me now. I always wanted to change the world I was in, I wanted a change in pace. But really, I just want to be loved, I just don’t want to be abandoned anymore.

  “Psh. I get it, I'll go to Krayer, I’m sorry for annoying you.”

  “Please…” An alarm went off. The doors burst open, standing there was the man with savage words. “Alice it’s time” he said.

  Confused I asked.

  “Hey, what’s going on.” wiping the last of the tears.

  “There seems to be a magical incident. I’ll be back.”

  “I’m coming with you.” I said getting off the bed. The man retorted “This isn’t a game, you will die if you come. You understand?”

  “Nothing you can say is going to stop me.” I replied with determination and stubbornness.

  “Alice please tell this kid he can’t come, he got lucky last time.” Alice was hesitant with her response.

  “He can come.