Remember those days? Days that seem so long ago, yet still clear and vivid in your mind. Days when life was so simple, innocent and pure. Days that make you feel like the present time is whack, and simply a bad remix of your childhood with small drops of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Yep, those were the good ol' days..
....
For a person like him, those don't matter anymore.
Because he's about to score a-
VICTORY!
"YESHHHH!"
With a mouth full of cavity and unhealthy chips, shouted a man who seems too unrestrained for his own good...
"BITCHES!" His hands free themselves from being glued on the desk for so long, as he jumped up from his seat with glee.
First impression, he doesn't really sound like protagonist material to me. If anything he seems like a trashy side character that becomes completely irrelevant a few chapters later after his introduction.
...
But then again, that's just a first impression.
"WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!"
A rare sight! Behold, for he is performing what is called a 'victory dance', a primitive technique since ancient times, it is shown as a sign when a person has done something that can be considered, 'worthy of praise' as they would call it. Visually it can be described as a random set of moves and hand gestures often seen as confusing or indescribable to normal eyes.
Nevertheless, everyone does that most of the time, so it doesn't matter if he goes and does it as well.
He then goes back to his chair, exhausted from his half-minute dance. His eyes are fixated to the bright screen in front of him, showing him what made him so delightful.
"I can't believe I won.."
With a smile that can make anyone shudder in disgust, his head bumped to his desk with a loud thud, laying contently on the rough surface.
"Just take me away to heaven, 'cause I am ready to plant my foot on that holy doormat."
Keep in mind, he's not actually ready to die, he just feels so happy that he disregards his own words completely to the point where his joy overrides rational thought. Of course you would know that, but it is sort of relevant to the plot so please don't crease your brow in anger just yet.
*Yawn*
An indication that he's ready to hibernate.
"Time to hit the sack, I guess."
Progressing the story now, thank god.
"Hm...nah, some fresh air first."
Fuck you.
He glances at the time on his monitor, not surprised by how late it is.
"2am, a new record."
His hand reaches out for his can of Mountain Dew and proceeds to gulp down every last drop.
After setting down his empty can he proceeds to, although reluctantly, steadily make his way towards the door.
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Have you ever felt that life was fleeting? That your time ends up too short for you to do anything meaningful? That everything you've accomplished and ever will accomplish is nothing but a 'waste' of precious time? To the point that you just give up and say 'fuck it', and proceed to spend the rest of your remaining days laying on the mud and becoming happy for once?
Here's an example, a horrible one, but still counts:
"~You've got, a friend in me."
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Yes, him again.
"....~You've got a friend, in me!"
With a singing voice that makes angels weep tears of anguish, he makes his way towards a highway near his apartment for seemingly no reason. I mean he said he wanted some fresh air, but at a highway? And why is there even a highway next to his apartment in the first place?!
And why at 2am?!
"Brrrr, too cold...why did I do his again?"
Feeling chilly, he hugged his body for some warmth. He now realized it was a bad idea to go outside so early in the morning wearing nothing but a t-shirt, some baggy shorts and sandals.
"I wanted fresh air, not cold air...."
Again, realizing it was a bad idea, he then decided to just go back home and go to bed instead.
Something then struck his mind.
"Shit, my computer's still on.."
No time for sleep just yet. First-world problems need to be resolved first.
So with a somewhat renewed vigor, he starts walking back to his apartment where his comfy bed resides-
*THUD*
Only for him to trip on nothing and fall down. And in the middle of the road no less.
"..Okay, ow."
With some effort he manages to push himself off the ground.
"Jeez, what's up with me getting clumsy all of a sudden?"
Unlike the average, brainwashed individual of society, he actually questions his stupidity. How relieving.
After dusting himself off, he goes home. With no trouble, might I add.
...
...
...
...
...
....Screw that, let's forward the story now.
"W-woah!"
*THUD*
By some sort of invisible power, he tripped again.
"What the?!"
He got up again.
"What's wrong with me today??"
And started taking another step-
*THUD*
...And fell down again.
"Are my legs asleep or something?!"
Up.
*THUD*
"FUCK!*
Down.
...
"Phew, deep breaths, just calm down. Maybe I'm just having an off day, no big deal,"
Up.
"It's all bad lu-FUUUU-"
*THUD*
"-UUUCK."
Oh dear, seems our poor protagonist is rather quite clumsy today ho~ho!
Exasparated, he lays on the ground for awhile.
"Okay, okay. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I'm going home!"
Steeling himself, he gets up and starts to sprin-
OH NO YOU DON'T!
*THUD*
"SHIT!"
*HONK* *HONK*
"What!?"
All of a sudden, a large truck appears along the highway!
*HONK* *HONK*
"Oh Shit!"
With the fear of dying, adrenaline starts pumping into his body.
Frantically, he immediately starts to get up and out of the truck's way.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
*THUD*
"GOD-"
Unfortunately for him, he is too pre-occupied with his love session with the ground.
With the speed it's going, no doubt will it inevitably hit him...
...
...
...and possibly kill him, hehe.
"No!"
He doesn't understand why he can't get off the floor for some reason, nor does he suspect that the narrator is playing with him in order to move the goddamn story line!
"I'm not gonna fucking die here!"
But, he is not willing to lay down and let fate consume him. He will rise up against the world! The people! Even the gods!
The truck starts getting closer.
*HONK*
He will not be put to an early death.
And closer.
*HOOOONK*
*SCREECH*
HE.WILL.LIVE!
CLOSER!
"HYAHHH!"
By summoning the inner martial artist inside him that he never knew existed, he proceeds to use his newfound ninjutsu skills to kick himself off the ground and somersaulted into the air, flipping over the truck and landing in a superhero style.
*SCREEEECHHH*
The truck's weight added with it's velocity eventually made it fall over, the concrete of the road cracking and breaking under it until it skidded to a stop.
...
...
...
*Fwoosh*
The hood of the truck suddenly catches on fire, as smoke as smoke starts billowing out of its engine.
"Fuck," While trying to catch his breath, his eyes wandered over to the aftermath of what would have been his untimely demise. "That was *pant* what?!"
He was amazed at himself, but he was mostly shocked. He would have left this world too soon if he didn't just do what he believed he had done.
Heck, he still hasn't turned off his computer yet! His game was still running for Christ sake! Who knew what kind of evil, diabolical person would mess with his account! Granted it was 2 in the morning and everyone was probably already asleep during this time, but it was still possible!
"I'M STILL ALIVE, BABY!"
He lives!
"WOOOOOH YEA-"
*CRASH* *BOOM*
Suddenly a fighter jet fell from the sky and crashed towards him, ending his miserable life.
...
...
...Poor him, never even got the chance to say his goodbyes. If he could still speak, or even breathe for that matter, he'd have completely regretted going outside in the first place.
Well, that's life. Full of unexpected outcomes. *Sigh* Oh well.
....
....
....
Well...that ended rather, dull....
Whatever, next scene.
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*BZZZ*
...
*BZZZ*
...
*BZZZ*
...
Sometimes life doesn't go the way you want, it's like being born with just one purpose, and once that's fulfilled, there's nothing left for you to do. I'm sure you felt like that once, like a puppet with invisible strings, dancing for the entire world's amusement. You don't know when you'll just suddenly go off, so live in any way you can, so long as it makes you happy. Ignore the concept of good and evil, it's okay to be selfish, everyone is, they just don't like admitting it. Don't live to be better than someone else, live to enjoy life in every way possible, trust me....
And most importantly..
...
Don't take life lessons from a work of fiction. Be careful with who or what you trust.
Trust me.
Inside the room of the now dead tenant, sounds of crackling electricity can be heard from the computer.
The monitor's screen turns into static before briefly flashing one word:
...
WELCOME
...
It silently turns off.
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