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Life was pretty normal, to start with. I had to learn the new language, new letters... surprisingly, I managed to gain a decent competency by the time I was two. And with some of my skills from my previous life carrying over, I was hailed as a bit of a prodigy. Only a bit of one though; not enough for parades in my honor and declarations of being 'the chosen one', but still enough that I could wheedle an extra cookie out of the bakers in town by being 'precocious'.

Hey, don't judge me, those cookies were delicious!

By the time I was five, I'd gained a decent sense of the world around me. My parents were Anne and Chris, and my surname was Sirius. We lived in the city of Steelhold, although only on the outskirts. My parents spent most days tending the farm, going into the city center on weekends to sell produce. Overall, a simple, peaceful life. ...yeah, like hell.

Not that I disliked them, of course... but their life wasn't for me. I had no interest in farming, or being a merchant, or anything like that. I'm in a fantasy world, and that means there's only one career for me: ADVENTURER!

All of which is why I've been trying, day in and day out, to access my system. Currently, I'm conducting a very thorough and scientific series of tests in my secret laboratory (a small cave near the corner of the fields that my parents think that I don't think they know about)

"Status! Character sheet! Stats! Menu! Um... Profile? Level up?"

That's the sound of me, reaching the end of my rope. I can feel something reponding when I focus, but nothing seems to help. Verbal commands, visualization, praying to the dark god Pazuzu... well, I only got halfway through that one before realizing that I might actually get a dark god's attention for doing that, and promptly cut myself off. The point is, this stupid, glitchy, piece of shit system refuses to work!

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Come ooooon, at least give me something! ...please?"

I feel another tremble in my soul... no way, did I really just have to... ask nicely? Seriously?

A window pops up, opening slowly. It's hazy, a bit wobbly, but it's definitely there. Now, to see what kind of system-

Name: Lynette Sirius

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...What.

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At least now that I've managed to open it, I can pull up a window pretty much whenever I want. Not that it's really all that helpful. Just a hazy, barely-there blue box with my name and a bunch of question marks. No HP meter, no cultivation level, not even a seemingly-useless title that turns out to have hidden masses of power-gaming potential. Straight nothing.

It's another year and a half before I have another breakthrough. I was in my secret lab, running tests as usual...

"Mana bolt! Mana shot! Magic Cannon!"

Not that much was coming of them, except for a lot of noise. I might have also been jumping around a bit, and occasionally making sound effects with my mouth. ...hey, cut me some slack, I might not have had any real powers yet, but there's no law against goofing around.

It's all that jumping around that turned out to be my undoing. See, it turns out? Old, abandoned caverns aren't necessarily the most structurally sound. One jump wrong, something shifts under my feet... I hear a cracking noise, and... I break through.

See what I did there?

I tumble down the newly exposed shaft of stone, bouncing off the walls, scraping myself up something nasty... really, I should have been dead. But when I land, I, surprisingly, feel fine, if a bit drained. It's not until I glance over at my still-active status screen that I realize what happened.

Name: Lynette Sirius

HP: 2/10

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