[ Evolution paths: Chaos egg / Haunted skull ]
If there was a word to describe what I was feeling right now then I didn’t know it. One minute I was having another argument with Tess about some meaningless bullshit, and now I’m staring at a floating prompt right out of Heroic Age. Either I was tripping out on something Tess had slipped me, not an unlikely scenario as she had employed that tactic before, or this was one of those transmigration or reincarnation scenarios that have become so popular to write about online. I knew it wasn’t a dream because I simply didn’t dream, never had and probably never will, so that only left acid trip or crazy reaction as option.
Well regardless I was stuck in the darkness with only this prompt in my head to keep me occupied. If this was just me tripping balls I figured I’d come down soon and then there would be a whole new screaming match between me and my oh so beloved partner, but on the off chance that this was really happening…
Yeah, this sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Heroic Age. Tess and I were pretty much addicted to that particular Full Dive MMO, but I wouldn’t want to actually live there. Fantasize about being my character on my down days for a bit of escapism therapy? Sure. Actually live there? Fuck no. I had no delusions about my chances of survival in a chaotic and violent world like Eden were even fucking plants could kill and eat you if you wandered off into the wrong forest. I like my life expectancy on boring and normal old planet earth thank you very much.
Plus Tess was on Earth, and sure are relationship was a weird dysfunctional, unhealthy, and dangerously co-dependent thing, but I loved her. Or, well… I needed her, couldn’t imagine life without her and didn’t really want too most times, and would most definitely die for her. That’s love right? I think so, and if not then it’s close enough for me. Long and short of it was I didn’t want to be without Tess, even if I wanted to kill her half the time we’re together, and if this was some transported to another world thing I wouldn’t be with Tess. That is what I’d call a deal breaker.
Thus I must be having an acid trip, and when I come down from whatever Tess managed to slip me I would ensure that she suffered beyond all imagining. Maybe I’d shave her head while she slept, and to top things off I’ll but hair dye in her shampoo. Something like neon pink or baby blue, Tess would hate that. Yes, that seemed like adequate revenge. If I really needed to do more I could always hang out with her ex, she’d go nuts seeing me and Kat together doing anything at all.
With my retaliation for Tess’s latest ‘prank’ I decided to just wait things out, after all how high could I possibly be?
Turns out, really fucking high. What felt like six or so hours later I was still in the dark with that annoyingly insistent mind game prompt thing flashing at me to pick an evolution. Don’t ask me how I could tell the prompt was flashing when it was all in my head, I just could. Now I knew that some people could go on acid trips for days on end and I also knew that being high as balls could warp a person’s sense of time, but I had just run through all the classical rock songs I knew by heart in reverse alphabetical order and I somehow doubted I’d be able to do that if I was so high I wouldn’t be down for days. Still I must be tripping as the other option was just impossible and I refused to accept it.
So how does one pass the time when they are stuck in an unpleasant situation? With music, obviously. I started playing back all the songs I could think off in my head. Eventually I’d be back in my apartment and everything would be back to normal again. And luckily enough for me I knew enough rock music to keep my own radio station afloat for a decade.
*
I was halfway through P!ATD’s I Write Sins Not Tragedies when something finally changed.
“Ok, ok, I give. Seems you need a bit more of a personal touch, some motivation from yours truly to move things own and progress everything. That’s fine, transmigration can be all so very confusing and scary for you insignificant mortals I can understand how you’d be paralysed by your irrational and illogical fear of the unknown. Fragile little babies the lot of you, but hey you keep me in a job so I’m willing to help out from time to time. Escpecially when it serves my best interests to do so. So here I am, rejoice and be glad for god has blessed you with a visitation! Now be a good little puny mortal and just pick one of the options I was so very kind in setting up for you…”
There was an annoying voice breaking up my wonderful mental playback of Brandon Urie singing about what must be one hell of a crazy wedding. It said something about being god and making some choice, never a good sign when god comes to you in your acid trips. Even worse when god sounds like a complete asshole.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
Anyway back to the rock!
“I hate them, I hate them both… It’s official these two are the worst decision I’ve ever made, and that means a lot coming from ME of all people… Never should have bothered with this, should have just let Athena do it. At least she gets off on all this transdimensional relocation bullshit, no idea what she sees in it. ‘Oh joy I get to deal with ungrateful assholes from across the multiverse, what fun!’ I swear Athena must be touched in the head or something to actually enjoy any of this. Then again given her family that’s not all that surprising really, she’s probably the most stable of all of them…”
Not the most pleasant thing when a voice drones on and on in the background of your music, in fact it was pretty annoying really. Still if I ignored it I was pretty sure it’d go away.
“Ok, enough of this. If you ever want to see Tessa Grant again you’re going to shut the fuck up and listen to me when I speak. Got that Buck-o?”
It’s almost sad how effective certain threats can be, most times I would laugh off whatever someone said to get me to do what they wanted. Sadly I had a big weak spot that I was just too attached to, bring up Tess and it got disturbingly easy to manipulate me. At least I was aware of what my weakness was, and typically it wasn’t a problem. This time it was.
“Ok ‘God’ what do you want?”
The voice heaved a sigh of disgust before launching into a rapid fire explanation.
“Good, well then let’s get down to business. You, player Nox, are one of the lucky few selected to be relocated into Eden. Why? Above you’re paygrade. All you need to know is that you are an important part of something much bigger than your puny mortal mind could ever hope to comprehend. You will live out a life on Eden, and if you aren’t a complete fuck up of an individual then your experience playing the game Heroic Age should be of advantage to you in your new life. If not, oh well…”
Feeling a bit indignity at this treatment I decided to eloquently voice my dissatisfaction in the most impactful and concise manner I was aware of.
“Yeah no, fuck you.”
Truly even the great bard himself would be envious of my genius word crafting skills.
“Oh now that’s adorable, the miserable speck of mortal soul thinks it has a say in things. No, see that’s not how this works. You don’t get an opinion here, in fact if your consent wasn’t so important to my peers then I’d just plop you down onto Eden and wipe my hands off you. However, since this is a new kinder and more benevolent pantheon I’m going to need you to actually make a choice. And since you’re going to be such a little bitch about it, I’m going to make that choice simpler for you. Option one, you pick something to evolve into so you can be born into Eden and I can move on to more important matters. Option two, I send your stubborn ignorant mortal ass down to the deepest pit in the lowest ring of hell and let some demon keep you company until your soul breaks into nothingness from the torment. Go ahead, pick.”
It probably says something about my personality that my initial response to a divine ultimatum was to refuse on impulse. Then again the rational part of me advised that maybe eternal damnation was maybe something that I didn’t want to experience personally. Of course there was also the all important matter that my heart reminded me of at the last moment before I opened my metaphysical mouth.
“What about Tess?”
I heard another disgusted sigh that somehow managed to seem more disgusted than the first.
“The both of you are a major pain in the ass. Your little soulmate is being sent to Eden too, in fact she should be getting born fairly soon. If you want to be with her, your only possible hope is to get onto Eden and track her down. There, happy now?”
Without hesitation I picked haunted skull in my mind. The flashing prompt that was blaring and strobing in head disappeared the instant I made my choice and I suddenly felt like I was falling from some great height.
“Really? Just like that? Fuck I hate mortals… You know what, no, I’m pretty fond of mortals I just hate those two. Yep, let’s leave them a little gift. No one will be made as long as I don’t restrict their growth…”
That was the last thing I heard as I fell away.
*
[ Species: Undead ]
[ Race: Skull ]
[ Name: Nox ]
[ Class: NONE ]
[ Status: Agility- 0 / Defense- 1 / Intelligence- 5 / Resistance- 1 / Soul- 50 / Strength- 0 / Wisdom- 5 ]
[ Traits: Undeath / Grim Bloodline / Old Soul / Darkness Affinity / Unholy Affinity / Lesser Physical Damage Reduction / Unholy Immunity / Mind Immunity / Negative Energy Healing ]
[ Weaknesses: Lesser Fire bane / Light Bane / Greater holy Bane ]
[ Skills: Lesser Negative Aura 1 / Lesser Fear 1 / Lesser Spirit Search 1 ]
[ Divinity: Curse of Tongues (Loki) / Blessing of Soul (Earth) ]
Great, I had a whole host of information pop up in my head and now I have a migraine. This whole reincarnation transmigration thing was starting out great, just #### great.
Wait a second, why can’t I think the word ####. Oh ####. Oh, come on! This is #### Ridiculous. What the ####.
Ok, I can admit that I like cursing. In fact #### is one of my favorite words in the language, and now I couldn’t even think the word. This was ####. Oh what the ####. I can’t say #### either? What about ####, ####, ####, ####, ####, or ####.
I focused back in on the information in my head and saw the curse, in Heroic Age a curse of tongues will effect language in some way. Loki, divine trickster, basically a godly #### All this taken together and it wasn’t hard to put two and two together to get four. Loki had taken my ability to curse.
#### Loki.