Have you ever been in a situation where you aren't in too great of a mood, or things in your life have been stressful to the point where you get discouraged with everything?

I know that I have, and I think this is a phenomenon that is becoming more commonplace every day. a societal shift has occurred where many things might be considered owed to me like I am entitled for some reason. Or stressors may have been applied where there hadn't been any before. Whatever the case maybe I have found myself in situations where I have fallen into a funk without realizing I was there until it had enveloped me. Whatever it is that puts you into the funk makes it difficult to see an easy way out of it.

I try to work toward making a positive impact on those who surround me. In many ways I have gotten good at influencing other lives for the better. This has served to encourage me to do more and more. One of the times when I was stretching myself out too thin, I had lost much of my impact and gotten discouraged. It caused stress in me to perform my regular duties at work and at home. This stress caused me to suffer physically as well. The next thing I knew I was in a funk that was difficult to admit to, and difficult for me to overcome. My focus was rarely on myself, and I couldn't see the forest for the trees so to speak. When other things in my life had a shift, it seemed to compound the problem and make the entire situation more difficult to resolve. The event that helped me bring my situation into focus was my appreciation for a great friend of mine. The method that I decided to incorporate was the same one that I had used many times in the past without even knowing it. 

I decided to jot down a few words to keep it fresh in my memory in an effort to avoid getting into a funk the next time things start to sour in my own little world.

2.   What the Funk.

When the world turns against me, and I am feeling down, it sometimes helps to figure out the forces at hand that seem to conspire against me so I can fix the cause which will effectively fix my funk. I want you to consider that the cause may not be changeable, and sometimes it is better to concentrate on a solution.

Being in the funk plays havoc on your body and soul. One of the persistent factors of my own funk is worrying about things that are in the past. Poor decisions that I have made, or how I handled situations poorly are the biggest culprits. I am frequently haunted by things that transpired 4 decades ago. I hold on to this uncomfortable baggage and carry it around. Hopefully I find a way to unpack this baggage and move on. I can't do anything about the things that are in the past, so I don't know why I let them gnaw at me so often. 

Let's consider the things in life that have served to bring joy and happiness. Things that make me laugh don't necessarily make me happy. Sure, I enjoy a good laugh just like many people do. I assert humor into nearly everything that I do. I was speaking to an old friend a few months ago. I hadn't seen him for a few decades, and we have both changed quite a bit. He was always kind of an idol of mine. He was funny, smart, compassionate, and always had good moral values that he stood up for. I am happy to still consider him my friend. When we were talking the subject of Robbin Williams came up. He was a great comedian, and perhaps the best ad lib comic of all time. His list of talents and abilities were uncommon if not rare. I think that the world is a better place since having him in it. Our conversation meandered around his life and accomplishments. We are both great admirers of his work and deeds. It is my opinion that Robin Williams had a wonderful life. A life that is full of ups and downs just like everyone experiences. I think that the high points in his life were really high, and that many of the low points seemed really low to him. When I first heard about him leaving us, I was shocked and saddened. His death put me into a funk. In my opinion he had everything going for him. I don't know what kind of stressors or situations had to transpire to put him into a great funk, but at the time I was thinking that he led a life that was way above average, and when something happened to bring him to a low point it became overwhelming. In my darkest hour I have never been in that much of a funk, but I can see how it would be possible.

3.   Get the Funk Out.

So, what is the answer? How does one get out of a funk that they are in?

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

I want you to take a few minutes and consider the times in your life that have been the most joyful. Try to decipher whether it is joy and happiness that you experienced, or if it was a temporary happiness that is only a surface happiness. Find one of the times that made you feel real good about yourself and others. What was happening in the best time in your life?

My wife is a wonderful person. When our kids would get into an argument or fight with one another she would have them do each other's chores or do something to interact with their sibling that they were having a disagreement with. I always thought this was a silly thing to do, and that it would make them resent their sibling even more if they had to do chores for them. It was many years later before I realized the wisdom of this action.

I read in a book one time about an anthropologist that was investigating a culture of people who believed that they were the ones responsible for changing the seasons. the anthropologist immersed herself in the culture a few days before the winter solstice and participated in all of this tribe's activities. They stayed up all night dancing and celebrating around fires in the community that was responsible for making the days grow longer and nights grow shorter. She went into this situation in an effort to understand how these foolish people thought that the fate of the world was in their hands.

Somewhere during the night, doing the dancing and celebrating there was a paradigm shift. the lack of sleep and the intense interactions with the locals and the environment conspired to convince her that she had purpose, and the people that she was with had purpose. by the time the sun rose the day after the winter solstice she was convinced that she and the group were the reason that the sun would change its path. That the days would be longer, and the nights would diminish so that the land would flourish once again. What started out as an exercise in anthropology experimentation and observation had changed her view of the situation during the interaction.

Did they really change the season and begin the cycle of winter and spring? Probably not. But each person that was part of that ceremony believed that they were instrumental in bringing the change. Even the highly educated anthropologist. This is the key to getting the funk out. let me draw some parallels and clarify.

4.   Get the Funk Out.

I don't think that it is as elaborate as all that. People who don't have kids believe that they are happy, and they may be happy. I will be the first to admit that children bring out my worst, but they also bring out my best. It isn't even the children, my children, that are causing the change. In many Christian religions it is agreed that we are commanded to be prosperous and multiply. It is my belief that this commandment is multifaceted. On one hand we are bringing more Christians into the world, but on another hand, it improves our wellbeing. It improves our happiness. The key is service and sacrifice. 

My dear sweet wife was confined to bedrest with a couple of my children. The oldest 2 were self-sufficient enough to get a sandwich and take care of their own basic needs so it didn't impact me as much as it might have otherwise, so my third child didn't create as much chaos while she was pregnant with him. Our last child caused me to reconsider everything. I was accustomed to taking care of my beautiful wife as needed, but she is a very independent woman even when confined to bed rest. The oldest 2 were also not outside of my skillset to take care of. The problem was the new baby. His needs had to be addressed by me. All of them. All the time.

I still had to go to work and stuff. The added sacrifice of my time was at times, more than I could handle. I was determined to step up to the task, but the task seemed unsurmountable at times, and I failed many times and had to reassess what I could do differently to accommodate the changes in the dynamic that was my family. One of the biggest problems is the same one that every parent is faced with, and that is to be consistent in my care for them. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed many times but determined to do better. We set up a baby monitor in his room so that I could calm down as I walked the hallway to his room to take care of him or one of his brothers in the night. My rationale would wane the second, third, fourth, or fifth time I trudged down the hallway to take care of one of the boys. If they had been closer, and I didn't have that buffer to calm myself as I walked, and control myself with these meetings, I fear what might have happened. None of this was anybody's fault, and as obvious as that is, it isn't as clear when you are tired, or at least, that's how it is with me.

As a man who has had children, due to his wife having children, I have noticed that women have the tendency to have an immediate bond with their children, and men take a bit longer to find this bond. My experiences have given me a special gift. A gift that most men don't get to have. The gift is that I have this bond with my children. perhaps not as strong as my wife's bond but stronger than most men have. My wife gave me this gift, and I adore her for it. My gift is the key that unlocks the door to happiness. Sometimes I forget to use the key, and it lets me fall back into a funk. Whenever this happens, I like to be reminded of the key so that I can use it to unlock the door to happiness. I want to give this key to you. The choice to use the key will be your own, and it doesn't work automatically. It requires some effort on your part to make it work.