I’m not doing stupid things for no reason. I’m training for stupider stuff I’m gonna do later.

* Copycat

1 Minute Earlier (Highgarden Time) - Chisel - The Mithril Citadel

I’m at a council of the wise atop a mithril mountain. Mighty dwarves and elves, fairies and angels. Fancy armor and epic postures. Also minions - lots of minions. Bodyguards and champions, experts and seers. They’re fancy too. Except for me. I’m a rare grubby minion. Also, I’m not wise.

That said, I’m starting to wonder about these guys too. Neither the Lords of Highgarden, nor the Pretorians of Wreckworld, have impressed me with wisdom lately. This council isn’t going great either. Planning to save the universe has been put on hold while Marcus and Sigurd bicker over who owes who what.

So… I’m at a transactional negotiation of the oblivious. It is happening on a mithril mountain though. Gives a nice view of the battlefield. If it wasn’t covered by mind bending illusions.

“Are these guys aware the Last Battle is happening all around us?” asks Ladyfinger.

I sigh. “I think the end of everything is less important than who’s in charge when it happens.”

Reed taps me on the shoulder. Points down to the battle. “Dragon’s gone crazy.”

Far below, a cyclone has formed in the mire of the mind. Looks like all the crazy is going down the drain. Apex is shouting nonsense from within.

Great. That’s the secret entrance to The Bridge. Apex is supposed to be protecting that secret. Instead he’s shouting about it. Maybe no one will notice.

A god-awful electric detonation blasts a mountain sized hole in the mire, revealing the secret entrance to all.

“Perfect. I blame myself.”

Ladyfinger is aghast. Reed just laughs. “This was always going to end badly. Don’t take on too much.”

The explosive reveal has altered the flow of the battle. Everyone is moving towards it. Local forces, but also portals from other realms. One barfs out a horde of Wreckworld mercenaries. Another forms around the black hole, causing it to expand exponentially.

A massive tree unfolds from the mire. Its golden branches rise up, and up, and up. The elves around us cheer. “Valaria!!” Across from it, another mighty tree rises. Silver branches shooting to the sky. The elves gasp in awe. “Glorian…”

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Other portals and gods and mythic beasts pile in, but I’ve stopped paying attention. It’s occured to me that the situation has changed drastically and everyone’s really distracted. This is exactly when Marcus stabs us all in the back. Probably right after some righteous sounding but creepily vague monologue.

Fuck that. As soon as he opens his mouth, I’m gonna blast him.

He blasts us first. A grim, rotting wave of necrotic energy. Delivered in total silence. Not even a cryptic one-liner. Fucking Marcus. A disappointment on every level.

The elves and faeries instantly evaporate. The high dwarves resist the entropic blast, but their armor doesn’t. They’re entombed in molten mithril. Burning, boiling, screaming, death.

Reed and I don’t have fancy armor. Also, hill dwarves and stoutheart halflings don’t go down easy. We have five or six more seconds before the necro blast kills us. Enough time to stagger towards Marcus and get stabbed by his Praetorian guard.

I spare a glance behind us, expecting Ladyfinger to be liquid, but she’s fine. Her Wreckworld armor bends the death energy around her. She stares at me with dead eyes. Fuck.

“I guess it’s time for your inevitable betrayal.”

She smiles sadly. “I guess so.”

Ladyfinger melts into the mountainside. Pops up behind the Pretorians to plunge her shortsword deep in Marcus’ guts. He screams and his necro wave collapses into a concentrated lance at Ladyfinger.

“NO!!” Freed from the death wave, Reed rockets forward. Four pretorians block his path to Ladyfinger. His glaive flashes about, garnishing the mountaintop with angel salad.

I hustle after him, but it’s all over when I catch up. Reed battered and bloody, holding Ladyfinger’s crested helm. Marcus kneeling, shuddering around her blade. Everyone else, dead and gone.

Down below, portals keep opening. Thousands pour through. Millions. Fighting. Dying. Coming back for more. I’m getting dizzy just watching. How the fuck am I gonna fix this?

“Is she down there?”

I shake my head. “I dunno. Probably in Wreckworld. But they’ll be chucking her through a portal soon enough.” We’ll never find her. She wouldn’t remember us if we did.

Ninja goblins prey on orcish monks. A skeleton is riding a giant technicolor leviathan. They’re charging the black hole. The two gargantuan trees are fighting. I don’t think that’s Glorian.

Reed nods. “Right. This is all fucked. I’m off to kill Wrecker.”

“Oh, buddy. We couldn’t take Wrecker on our best day.”

Reed horks out a thick wad of blood. “This ain’t my best day.”

It’s the end of the world and my best friend wants to fight god. It’s the worst plan at the worst time. I watch the liar tree shake the shit out of Valeria. Sigh. Maybe I do take on too much.

I turn to Marcus - “The time is nigh, for the world to… ACK!” - and pull the blade from his gut.

“Alright. I got a blessed item. The sacrifice has been made. Let’s go fucking kill god.”