"You choked...to death... on a mozzarella stick... laughing at your own joke." It hadn't been a question. Fylson had blandly repeated that several times now as if he hadn't been able to absorb how stupid it had been the first time he heard it, "You choked to death on a mozzarella stick laughing at your own joke?" It seemed to sink in as he turned to her with eyes narrowed in disbelief. There was the judgement she'd expected.

"Yeah I know it was stupid-"

"Very stupid." Fylson replied with a nod, "Not as stupid as how you died when I met you but-"

"We don't have to bring that up!" Dola interjected, her face hot with embarrassment, before Fylson could share the story with their new guest.

Eirlan looked between the two unamused, "Fantastic. Now that we've all caught up on the stuff that I already knew, can someone please explain to me what is going on and why we have not already called EE for support on this manner?" Eirlan huffed crossing his arms.

"EE?" It was Dola's turn to be out of the loop.

"Employee Experience; what you'd call HR." Fylson explained barely glancing her way, "Look, we're not calling them. I've worked too hard to get this role and I'm not risking them handing my contract over to you, finding a way to make it my fault and put me out on the streets! No way." Fylson crossed his arms with a finality to the action that left no room for argument. Eirlan argued anyway.

"So you say we all just sit here and drink fizzy drinks and hope no one finds out about this? That makes no sense! We can't just carry on like this, do you think no one will notice?" Eirlan insisted, straightening his tie for the millionth time in what seemed to be a nervous gesture. The man had a point though. Even Dola couldn't imagine no one would notice that she had two contracts on her soul. Right? Now that she was being faced with it, she had to come to terms with the fact that she'd explored the contracts on her soul with the same fine tooth comb that she'd use when agreeing to the terms and conditions of every app that she'd ever downloaded; meaning she never looked at them, never questioned them and just had faith that it would never backfire.

Things backfired.

"Besides-" Eirlan continued when no one immediately shut down his reasoning, "I think the only reason you're worried about being placed elsewhere or kicked out is because you get to slack off here." Fylson went ramrod straight as if he's been struck before he turned on the man with a swiftness that Dola had only seen that time he lifted the bus. His irises flashed an unearthly red and his hands clenched and unclenched like he was ready to wring Eirlan's neck.

"Oop." Dola remarked looking nervously between the two. If two men with magical powers and super strength were about to fight in her 700 square foot apartment, she was going to steer clear of all 700 square feet.

"I don't work hard?" Fylson chuckled sounding a little unhinged, "I cook, I clean, I do missions on my own, I do the shopping most days-" he counted his fingers, closing in on Eirlan, "I am the very definition of going above and beyond! If I left this whole operation is going to shit and you would go down with it."

"Hey!" Dola protested realizing that she was the 'Operation' in question.

"Dola, I met you when you were dying and I left you to your own devices and you died again within 48 hours. You disagree with me?" Fylson asked her over his shoulder and she had no choice but to settle down. He had a good point actually. Her track record there wasn't great.

"Well, I'm not you." Eirlan insisted, "Cooking and cleaning are not a part of the job, you've put that on yourself. The job is to help people. I am confident that I could do that job." Eirlan stood to meet Fylson's glare, squaring his delicate shoulders as he did so and pushing his glasses up his nose.

Dola sat on the couch watching the two men before her size each other up and she vaguely wondered why they even needed her there when Fylson huffed a laugh.

"You'd be robbed and beat up in a day in the human world. Maybe you could do what the job says to do on paper, but you couldn't do my job. You can't hack it in the real world, Eirlan. Why don't you just go home with your tail between your legs and ask to be reassigned. Say that this contract was too tough for you and that you'd like to be put somewhere cushier, in a mansion like you're used to maybe. I'm sure they'd give you the job, they'd give you whatever you wanted." Fylson's smile was cold and cruel and seemed to strike a nerve. Dola was getting the feeling that there was some history there.

"I will not back down to you of all people, Fylson! I could do this job easily and better than you!" Eirlan pressed, his face going red as he fixed his tie again, pushed his glasses up his nose and scowled so hard that his mouth was basically forming a ninety degree angle. It was the stress trifecta.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"If you were a human, I'd go so far as to say you'd be dead in a week. You can't do this job." Fylson smirked smugly.

"Yes I could!"

"No you could not."

"I could!"

"Could... Not."

"Could!"

"Not."

"YESICOULD!" Eirlan's yell was high pitch and borderline hysterical, he looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. He'd blurted the words so fast they came out as one. A fine pink tinged mist seemed to be emanating from his person, his golden eyes burned unnaturally bright, Dola could feel a tingle of magic in the air, it made her ears buzz, it sent a chill through her and rose goosebumps on her skin. This was ridiculous.

"Enough!" Dola shot to her feet, honestly too tired and freaked out for any of this. They both turned to her wide eyed like they forgot she'd been there. "Fylson, I am sorry that I signed another contract. I was drunk and honestly in the moment I had just been scared to die." Fylson frowned, looking away from her, "Eirlan, I am truly sorry to involve you in my messy life, but I was literally dying when you came up to me so of course I signed the dammed contract." Fylson fixed his tie and sighed with a nod.

"I don't know enough about the world you two come from to say what the best idea is; whether we should report this or just play it by ear, but I know that I had a long day and I'm sure you both as tired of all of this arguing as I am because it is getting us no where, but on Mr. Onai's bad side." She huffed looking between the two of them and gesturing to down stairs where she was sure poor Mr. Onai was typing up a strongly worded letter to management about how loud they'd been all day.

Eirlan smoothed his hair and fixed his glasses on his nose, "So what do you propose?" He asked, the picture of poise despite his ruffled shirt, tilted tie, tired eyes and increasingly unkempt braid.

"Let's give it a week and see if we can sort this out." Dola suggested.

"A week?!" Eirlan gawked, eyes wide and jaw hanging cartoonishly.

"Calm down, it's one mere Earth week." Fylson rolled his eyes, "It probably wouldn't even register back home." Fylson added turning to Dola, seeming pleased that she was in his corner.

"If we don't get to the bottom of things then, we can get guidance or whatever it is Eirlan wants to do, but in the meantime-" Dola continued.

"No way." Fylson frowned.

"In the meantime," Dola started again eyes narrowed at Fylson, "Let's just see how things play out. It doesn't sound like either of you are sure that this isn't normal, maybe it's fine! And if someone shows up to give us a hard time, I'm fine taking the blame and saying that I was nervous about something happening to my soul because of... this." She trailed off at the end with a frown. It actually didn't occur to her that she should be nervous about that until she was saying it in that moment.

What would happen to her soul if someone showed up and chewed them out for this mess? Would they forgive the two of them and then toss her to the afterlife, if there even was one? Would they strip her of the chance to go to an afterlife as punishment for contracting her soul twice? As it stood, Dola realized she might have had the most to lose here.

If the others noticed her sudden existential crisis, they made no indication of it. Eirlan and Fylson were too busy sizing each other up, too busy considering her words.

"Fine." Fylson agreed, "A week and then we reevaluate."

"Fine." Eirlan nodded, straightening his tie, "One Earth week it is."

"Fine." Dola swallowed, caught up in her own spiraling thoughts. She pushed the thoughts aside and flashed her companions a smile like she had on any bad day when she'd had to be on set when she'd been famous. She'd been so different then that when she looked back at her life she felt no connection to the girl she had once been, but that skill to squash down her pain, worries, or anxieties and perform had never left her. Hopping to her feet, Dola yawned and stretched.

"Now that we've settled that." she reached for her phone, "I'm ordering a pizza, we're going to eat that pizza and then I'm going to bed. Unlike you two, I have a job with set hours." She smirked, watching as Eirlan looked between the two of them confused.

"Peet-Zah?" Eirlan asked, his pronunciation exaggerated.

"Pizza. One of the best things about Earth." Fylson nodded sagely, trying to tamp down how upsetting this whole ordeal had been for him as well and go along with the deal they'd just made. It was just a week and then he'd find a way to get rid of Eirlan. No need to be shitty to the guy until then.

"I see." Eirlan hummed thoughtfully. He'd agreed to be here on Earth, in this dwelling with Fylson and Dola for now. He'd promised them an Earth week and an Earth week they would get. After that, he was calling EE no matter what. No need for him to miss out on Earth specialties until then.

Dola nodded, pleased that she'd squashed the problem she'd created for now and less than pleased that she was now going to be living with an uncertainty about what was going to happen to her soul now.

"I'm thinking pineapple and ham, thoughts?" Dola asked as Fylson groaned and Eirlan looked confused.

"What's a 'ham'? What's a 'Pineapple'?"

Fylson looked between Dola and Eirlan and decided that this was going to be the longest Earth week of his life.