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Uber Straight
Uber Straight

Uber Straight

Lisa backed out of the living room, letting her best friend Stacy and her mother have some privacy. But their conversation was soon audible throughout the house.

“You’re punishing me?”

“It’s not all about you. I have plans. You never thought to ask me. You just assumed I’m at your  beck and call.”

Lisa knew Mrs. Gable was right. Stacy was hard to deal with sometimes. She was so pushy. Lisa and Stacy had known each other since second grade and there was hope Stacy would calm down someday, letting maturity guide her into adulthood.   

Mrs. Gable set her iced tea on the kitchen counter. “I can’t take you because I have to go see your grandmother at the nursing home and that’s in the opposite direction. Because of COVID they’re only letting people visit once a week. This is my time slot.”

Stacy huffed. “I already tried to get a ride to the concert, but Jimmy’s car won’t start and Brett is working.”

“Then take the bus. Downtown is only a half an hour away.” Mrs. Gable grabbed her keys from the hook and her purse and strolled to the door.

“Uhhh,” Stacy roared. She followed her mother out the front door. Lisa followed. The two stoping on the front lawn.

“By, honey! Be home by eleven.”Mrs. Gable called out. “Lisa, make sure of it.” Mrs. Gable opened her car door and fell into the seat.

“Someone’s gonna mug us on the bus. What about your parents?” Stacy asked Lisa. Stacy adjusted her skirt.

Lisa looked at Stacy’s perfect outfit, her sparkling sequins and designer shirt and suddenly questioned her own outfit. “My parents won’t be home for another hour. I’m okay with the bus. Really. It’s a quick ride.”

“No, girl, we’re gonna Uber it in style. I called a premium.” Stacy flipped out her phone, smoothly like an old west sharp shooter.

Mrs. Gable rolled her window down. “Be safe. Downtown can be dangerous.” She drove off, waving.

Lisa skipped to the street curb. “I’m stoked. This is gonna be way fun.”

Stacy followed, stomping in her high heels, thumbing her cell phone screen.

“Why does everyone always act like downtown is so sketch? We’ve never been messed with. Just a ton of college students down there,” Lisa said.

“Hot college students,” Stacy replied, her glittering earrings flickering sunset oranges and purples in all directions.

A black Cadillac sedan turned around the corner and stopped at the curb. Stacy marveled at the chrome rims, glowing lights under the wheel wells and the shiny trim. “This is totally premo.” The highly polished paintjob reflected her striking, shimmering skirt and half-shirt.

“You look great. Come on,” Lisa said as she grabbed the handle and yanked open the door. “Tonight is gonna rule.” Lisa ducked into the back seat.

“Oh, I know. I’m just looking at the ride. It’s super fly.” Stacy dropped into the back seat next.

The interior was red, and lush and felt luxurious at first. Lisa noticed the fabric had prints of crows covering every available inch. She thought it was kitsch but not horrid.

The door closed all by itself.

The driver’s appearance startled the girls as well. His hair was long and matted in dreadlocks, decorated with beads and strings of hemp ties. Strong incense wafted from an ash-covered dash, stained from a thousand bygone incense sticks and what looked like candle wax. Hanging from the rearview mirror was a string of bones and feathers.

The driver turned, putting his arm on the back of the front passenger seat. Bulky, dark shades, covered his eyes as did dark tattoos along his arms. Every finger adorned a large ring. “N n nice of you ladies ta join me for d d dis hip evening. I be d driving you to your location in s style.” He smiled exposing a row of crooked teeth.

Stacy chuckled and leaned to Lisa. “Oh my god, he stutters.”

Lisa chuckled, covering her mouth.

“He says hip? More like wack. This guy’s so nappy he’s probably crawling with bugs. I totally don’t wanna be seen with this weirdo.”

“We’re gonna be late if we hop out. Let’s just ignore him and get to our show.” Lisa clicked her seatbelt.

The driver knocked the gear into place and drove off. He turned out of the neighborhood a touch fast, squealing the tires.

Stacy grabbed the handhold. “Um, excuse me. You probably just moved to his country or something, but can you take it easy?”

The driver looked over his shoulder, his dark glasses reflecting the back seat perfectly. “B born and raised right h h here.”

Stacy rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Just get us to our destination without killing us.” She squirmed, adjusting her shirt. “What the heck is with the crows? This guy is a freak with a capital F.”

“Shhh, he’ll hear you,” Lisa whispered.

Music flowed from the speakers, a deep and rhythmic pulsing, too odd for any radio station. The sun dipped below the horizon of buildings and trees, setting a deeper sunset-fire to the city, washing everything in oranges and reds.

“B b big night planned?” The driver asked, pulling onto the freeway. “Good n night for it. Say, we get off the main road, open the m moonroof and feel the n night wake up.”

“Just duh duh drive,” Stacy snipped. “I’m not interested in you or your stupid car.” She flip hair and stared out the window.

Don’t ruin the night. Lisa thought. She looked at Stacy’s ghostly reflection on the glass. Her friend shape shifts when she gets mean–her eyes turn dark and sunken. When Stacy is nice, the two breeze through life. Lisa prayed Stacy would chill.

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“M might I suggest you let the calm come to ya. Life b be better when you dancin’ to the beat, not fightin’ it.”

“I don’t need advice from you. Probably just got outta prison. Can you turn your music off and just drive? God.” Stacy crossed her arms tight.

“He’s right. You’re getting worked up. We’re gonna go have some fun, right?” Lisa said, putting her hand on Stacy’s shoulder.

“You’re right.” Stacy leaned forward, projecting her voice. “I just don’t know how some hippy gypsy stutter-box got this nice of a Cadillac. I mean he trashed the interior, made it into his personal mobile home, and has the gall to post on premium Uber.” She leaned back. Her mother must have set her off.

The doors locked and the driver hit the gas. A thick, plastic divider rolled up from the front seats, isolating the passengers from the driver.

“Oh, that’s nice. Why didn’t stinky have this up the whole time?” Stacy laughed. She looked out the window. “Ooo, I think I made him mad.”

Lisa’s face turned white as bleached bone.

The car shot down the freeway, passing vehicles left and right, picking up speed. The engine roared as loud as a jet.

Stacy un-folded her arms and grabbed the door rest. “Hey, slow down. The last thing I wanna do is die in your homely box impaled by one of your dashboard trinkets.”

“Stop, Stacy. He’s mad,” Lisa said, her eyes wide as two full moons. “The only way he slows is if you relax.”

“He’s gonna make me mad.”

Lisa could see the anger swallow Stacy like a tsunami. Her friend was now utterly possessed. Maybe being friends with Stacy wasn’t worth it. Lacy told herself to end the relationship, like she had a dozen times.

Stacy knocked on the plastic partition. “You better stop this car and let us out. I’ll give you zero stars on your rating and get you arrested for… for teenage endangerment.” The driver didn’t respond, fueling her range. She kicked the seat. “Hey, buh buh bozo! You got five seconds to slow down!”

The roaring motor didn’t change pitch at all.

“Oh, no he is not getting away with this.” She pulled her phone out of her small purse and dialed nine-one-one. No service. She held up the phone, aiming it to the window then across to Lisa’s window. “I always have service. Always. My mother pays for the best network and unlimited data.”

“Just don’t insult him anymore. Let him calm down,” Lisa said, her voice shaky, gripping the arm rest. She wished she could stand up to Stacy, put her in her place. Maybe she just needed someone to slap her across the head sometimes. Lisa wasn’t that person, always avoiding conflict.

Stacy kicked the back of the chair over and over. “Let us out! HOBO BOBO!”

The car jerked to the right, narrowly avoiding hitting a large semi. Someone honked loud and long at the Uber driver, but he didn’t slow. He tapped the brake only to avoid ramming a minivan, turned and gunned the gas. The car was fast, faster than anything else on the road, faster than any normal car.

Stacy tried the handle, but it was locked.

“He’s gonna kill us!” shrieked Lisa.

“Because I called him some names? Told you he was a freak. We should’ve bounced.” Nothing Stacy did would unlock her door. She looked up at the moonroof. “We gotta get outta here.”

“If you go out the top, you’ll die,” Lisa reasoned. “We’re going too fast. Just let him calm down.”

“No chance in hell I’m saying sorry.” Stacy unbuckled and stood, pressing the open button for the moonroof. The car suddenly lurched to the left, cut across three lanes of traffic and smashed through a concrete barrier.

Stacy lost her balance and her head hit the plastic divider. She squealed in pain. Lisa pulled her to the seat. She wanted to tell Stacy off, but didn’t. This was her fault. She was such a…

The car smashed into a bush in the median, exploding the twigs and leaves. Stacy bounced so hard her head hit the ceiling. She cried out and cradled a wound on her scalp. “Let us out!”

Lisa grabbed Stacy and held on tight. The two girls cried as they bounced violently around.

The car hit the next barrier and smashed through it, sending chunks of concrete in all directions.

“Please!” Lisa cried. “I’m sorry. We’re sorry.”

The car left the freeway, jumping the ramp and smashing into the pavement sparks flying.

The driver sped into a busy road, slowing a little. Stacy pulled from Lisa’s firm embrace and knocked on the partition. “Please. Drop us off. I won’t call the cops. Please!” She looked over the man’s shoulders to the road. The bright yellow marque lights from the Paper Cut Theater Company lit up the shadowy street, and a man crossing it. His arms held a jacket and a tub of popcorn. He turned too late. The car hit him, sent him over the car in an explosion of popcorn.

Lisa screamed.

Stacy turned to look out the back window, her skin turning a clammy pale color. Lisa looked also. They should have seen the road and the hurt man, maybe some people rushing to his aid, but instead saw a wall of darkness envelop the theater, dowsing the lights. The dark looked like a wall of oil, shimmering and thick. It followed the car, overtaking the street and the building across the street.

Lisa couldn’t think, couldn’t blink, couldn’t move and inside her chest grew a fear she’d never known in her life. What did I do to deserve this? Lisa looked at her friend, no longer the mean girl, but the frightened one. Funny how the two personalities were so similar. This was partly Lisa’s fault. She sat by as Stacy said was she said, did what she did. Lisa never tried to stop it. Not really. That changes now.

The car sped up, turning so hard the tires screeched like a siren. Stacy and Lisa cupped their ears. The car smashed into trashcans, turned hard to the left and raced down another alley.

Lisa braced, hard. “Say sorry, Stacy! And mean it!”

“You’re blaming me?” Stacy yelped.

Lisa smacked Stacy, hard. “Yes. You did this. You always do this to people. You’re a horrible person! If you don’t stop being so mean, I’m gone. I will not be your friend. Say you’re sorry!”

The car spun around a corner. Stacy looked shocked. She touched her cheek and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I really am.” Tears exploded from Stacy’s eyes.

The driver didn’t hear her burbling apology. The car was going too fast, too reckless, too loud. Lisa expected the impact to come at any moment. Something will stop this car, stop it for good and stop her and her friend, too.

The car lurched to the right, spinning around and around. Lisa’s normally pale skin drained of even the slightest color and she threw up. Her hand reflexively went to her mouth, but the vomit simply spewed from behind her hand, splattering in all directions. Chunks of dinner rolled down the seat as the car jostled and jumped, the suspension slamming tight with every bounce.

Stacy turned a putrid sort of green and she barfed also.

The car turned around and around, nearly spinning in place. Puke, sweat, tears and fear mixing in the back seat like a foul and rotten stew.

The dark wall of nothing enveloped the back of the car and overtook the back window. Inside the black were bones, thousands of  bones.

This was it, she was going to die.

Stacy stared at a bone hand that reached out for her. She continued blubbering and crying. “I’m soooo sorry.”

The car hit the brakes, locking the tires, smoke bursting from the rubber. Stacy flew forward smashing into the back of the front seats. Lisa flopped forward, tears streaming, her seat belt catching her.

The darkness pulled back and vanished. The locks clicked and the door opened. Lacy scrambled from the back seat, Stacy following.

The two girls fell to the sidewalk outside the concert hall next to a line of patrons waiting, tickets in hand. The crowd gawked at the two girls covered in puke, hair and clothes disheveled, make-up smeared and runny. Some rushed to help, others gasped, some even laughed.

The Uber driver drove away and was never heard found.

Stacy was different after that. Lisa knew Stacy had come close to losing herself in the darkness. Her anger was the inky black, the skeletons were those she hurt.

Lisa didn’t lose her friend that day or herself. Stacy was reborn, offering Lisa and others more respect than she’d ever shown anyone, never to abuse the Uber driver ever again, or anyone else for that matter. The two would become better friends and were lucky some would say, the driver having shown them the dark rather than let them get lost in it. Maybe that Uber driver was the darkest of angels, pushing for betterment, seeding a better human being through shared trauma. Maybe he was a daemon, who did not get his fix that evening. The conclusions are yours.

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