Alexander and I were in the middle of an aisle quietly working on Product Presentation and Display when the woman rushed close to us.

               “Are you boys all right? Are you safe?” the woman asked. Her eyes were wide and she seemed a bit harried, like she was in a rush.

               “Of course, ma’am. Is there an item I can help you locate today?” Alexander replied. His U-Mart Customer Recitations were always on point. Clear and concise, just as we had been taught.

               “You don’t need to feed me your lines. I know who you boys are and where you’re from. Come with me. I’ll get you out of here safely,” the woman dismissed Alexander with almost a sneer.

               It was my turn now. I hoped I didn’t stumble over any of my Recitations. This woman looked like she would be the type to pounce all over something like that. “Ma’am, as a graduate of the U-Mart Children First Program, I can assure that we have received education, health-care and discipline that are all in compliance with our state’s laws regarding such matters.”

               The woman breathed deep through her teeth and glared at me. “Bullshit. The way they have you kids programmed like robots is disgusting. Come with me. My husband and I will adopt you. You’ll be free,” The woman gestured towards the end of the aisle. A well-dressed man stood sentry, assumedly keeping an eye out for our store’s U-Mart Security and Incident Team.

               “I’m afraid that’s not something that we can do, ma’am. We’re members of the U-Mart family. Thank you all the same though, and, please, enjoy your shopping experience today,” Alexander said with a bright smile. He was always so perfect in these types of situations.

               The woman’s eyes got wider and her mouth dropped open. “No way. You’re coming with me,” the woman whispered and grabbed Alexander by the wrist.

               I groaned to myself and slumped a little. Why didn’t these two go after one of the Cart Kids out in the parking lot? They get snatched in droves and nobody cares. Alexander and I would be stuck after our shift now, filling out reports about what exactly transpired with the woman and what steps we took to keep it from escalating to this point.

               Alexander smiled still and grabbed the woman’s wrist with his other hand. “Tobias, her other appendage. Please,” he said.

               I took my cue and grabbed the woman’s other arm with both hands. She shot us both a terrified look and called out to her husband. “Craig! Help! They’ve got me!”

               The husband looked over his shoulder and turned towards us. He was starting to break into a run when three of U-Mart’s Security and Incident Team Members rounded the corner and tackled him. They had his arms behind his back and his face pressed to the floor in less than a second. A fourth member walked around after them and approached us.

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               “Ma’am, I’m afraid you and your companion are going to have to come with us today,” a man’s voice said from behind the U-Mart Brand Face Shield.

               The woman dropped to her knees and started to cry. “What are you going to do to us? We’ll leave right now, I swear. Don’t hurt us!”

               “Again, ma’am, I’m afraid you and your companion are going to have to come with us today,” The U-Mart Security and Incident Team member repeated.

               Alexander and I let go of the woman’s wrists and let her be dragged away from her husband. Alexander shrugged as we turned back to our Product Presentation and Display duties.

               The woman screamed as she was escorted towards the back of the store. Promises at first, but as her voice grew faint and she got farther away, the promises stopped and pure panic set in.

“I know what you’re thinking, but nobody wants a Cart Kid,” Alexander said out of the corner of his mouth to me.

               “Why not? They’re easy to take home. You just pull up to one, grab them and throw them in your car,” I replied.

               Alexander sighed. “Because they’re dirty, that’s why. And dumb. Nobody wants to take a kid that’s dirty and dumb,” he said.

               “I guess we’re pretty lucky,” I said.

               “No, just born correctly. It’s like Mr. Parnassus said in his 1985 autobiography A Man Built By His Nation: Superior breeding knows no rules, it is simply a game of chance. One with an exceptional fortune to be won,” Alexander said.

               “Do you believe it?” I asked.

               “Yes, absolutely,” Alexander answered.

               “Then why did our parents abandon us then? On U-Mart property of all places?” I pressed.

               “Because why wouldn’t they? Have you not paid attention in U-Mart Origins and History class? Our parents knew about the Children First Program. It’s consistently been rated as one of the best child placement and adoption services since it started almost thirty years ago. They knew we were going to get a superior education, healthcare, guaranteed employment and the best savings possible on all Quality Assured U-Mart products. It just makes sense to leave your kids here,” Alexander explained.

               I still wasn’t sure. “Gregory told me that he had seen my file and that my mom left me in a trash basket in the women’s restroom,” I said.

Gregory was another member of the Children First Program. He was loud and brash and, I felt, came on a little too strong with shoppers sometimes. He liked to declare that he was the only person with the skills for future management, but that didn’t really bother me. Everybody in the Children First Program had been earmarked for management positions at one of the four thousand two hundred and twenty-three U-Mart stores around the country. What bothered me about Gregory was that he bragged about Mr. Bentworth supposedly giving him permission to look through our personal files. Now he claimed that he was the only one truly born on U-Mart premises, by U-Mart employees carefully selected by U-Mart Superior Management for the sole purpose of breeding the perfect Children First Program pupil.

               Alexander shook his head. “Don’t listen to him,” he said. “Gregory doesn’t know anything. Mr. Bentworth would never let him look at anything. It’s against U-Mart Children First Protocol. Plus, I heard that Gregory was actually found in Frozen Foods and Dairy. His mom had left him sitting on a shelf in the cooler next to the U-Mart Brand Cottage Cheese. He had been in there for almost an hour and was practically frozen when they found him and that’s why he acts the way he does.”