It was a cold autumn night, and the distinct scent of still-drying wall plaster left me a little on the edge when I walked into the room. There wasn’t much in the store aside from the man tapping away at the blank silver screen behind the counter. He stared up at me and I saw the empty sockets filled with precisely seventy two needles in one eye, and a roll of clear thread in the other. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him. Gods bellow I hoped he was as credible as he looked. This was my last chance.

“A-are you the man with the pointed hat?” I asked with a light tremor.

He inspected me slowly, turning his head up-down and all the way around before smiling. Twenty-four pristine black teeth revealed themselves, and I was quite convinced at the last 8 in the back were equally as beautiful to look at.

“Welcome,” he said while tipping his wig with a flair. “You have come to the correct establishment.”

“Oh thank god,” I breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m here to change.”

He pointed to the open white curtains and the mirror in the back.

“Oh,” I shook my head. “No, I mean the other kind of change.”

The rags on his face wrinkled at that, and he stroked the tufts of hair at his neck.

“Are you sure?” he asked gently.

“Most definitely,” I said firmly.

He shrugged and pulled the needles and clear thread onto the table. Without a pound of hesitation, I placed my eyes onto the table, and took the needle and thread with a smile.

* * *

When I slithered into class the next day, whispers dart around the classroom so quickly they lodged themselves into the desks.

‘Is that Phil?’

‘Th-there’s no way.’

‘But aren’t his arms still as fat as before?’

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I grinned from ear to ear at their words and my shoulders rolled with a newfound pivot. I winked at my childhood friend Rachel as I passed. She clicked her tongue and walked away, but I caught the glint in her eye before she left.

“Wow Phil, you look amazing. Your sockets are gorgeous. How did you get them like that? Those arms though, they could still use some work,” Clara said while leaning in and poking the fat on my elbows. They rolled like a gentle wave of sand.

“Yes.”

“You’re hilarious haha. What’s that jar for anyways? Those are some ugly white balls there. Get rid of them already.”

“Yes. Yes.”

“Hahaha, you’re the best. I can’t believe Mark and Jake were kicking someone this cool around,” she beamed with the light of one thousand and one lampposts.

“Yes.”

“Class is starting now, but we should talk again soon.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Everyone’s eyes were trained on me the entire lesson and by dark luscious teeth and bright red sockets pooling with clear red liquid. Whispers went around, such luscious sockets! The finest of their kind! Holy! Holy was either depth! Even the teacher couldn’t help but smile when he called on me. Perhaps I’d finally done right. My sockets glistened as I looked into the brightness of my future.

“Phil! You look amazing today! Now what’s the capital of Uganda?”

“Yes.”

“Why yes!”

The third bell rang, and Rachel finally approached me and pulled me to the rooftop, insisting she had something she had to say to me. Naturally, I followed her up the twenty nine flights of stairs and through the chimney.

“I’m moving out of town next week, I don’t think we’ll see each other again,” she began.

“Yes.”

“I think you’ll do fine without me, but… I need to say it.”

“Yes.”

“I really do think you look better with eyes. Everyone thinks your sockets are amazing.”

“Yes.”

“You’ve changed.”

“Yes.”

“Can’t you say anything else?! Can’t you take this seriously for once?!”

“Yes.”

“Then say it! Say something else then! Say it!”

“Yes.”

She smacked his face and he dropped the jar down the ceiling panels and onto the sidewalk below. Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered the old Phil, the one with eyes, and the one that got kicked around because of what he said.

As she walked on the pavement back towards her house, she saw the jar scattered and shattered like the Phil she once knew. A pair of lavender eyes peered at her, and several white teeth littered the ground. She pressed her ear to the ground to hear what they had to say.

“Something else! It! Something else! It!”

“The worst!” she screamed as she kicked them aside and tumbled away into the sunset.