Episode- 08

People only know what they have experienced.

　The excitement of success, the pain of an injury, and the fear of being hit with a stomach ache during class.

　It may be possible to fill in the gaps with your imagination, but there will be a huge difference between knowing that feeling or not.

　So I didn't understand.

　I arrived at school at the usual time and entered the classroom, and my eyes fell on the three gals gathered in a corner of the classroom.

　The scene was the same as always, with everyone gathered around a table, spreading out sweets and chatting happily, and even Koizumi was surprisingly smiling.

　She smiles and says happily, "School is so boring."

"Why is that so normal?"

　I muttered under my breath as I put my bag down on my seat.

　The other day after going to the movies, I sent a chat to Koizumi as soon as I got home. It was a simple message asking, "Are you okay?", but looking back on it now, it may have been an irresponsible thing to say.

　There's no way that Koizumi would be okay if she went home crying, and it's possible that she ended up making me feel worried.

　The reason why I'm so worried about the chat is because I haven't heard anything back from her until now. What's more, she's still ignoring my messages.

　I knew that Koizumi was hurt, and it's not like I particularly wanted a reply, but when I saw Koizumi using her smartphone in the classroom, I had some thoughts.

　Well, my relationship with Koizumi isn't that deep, so is it weird for me to worry too much about it? But, well...

"Good morning, Souma!"

"Oh, yeah. Good morning, Shiina-san."

"......?"

　When I returned the greeting as Shiina-san entered the classroom, she looked at me with a strange expression for some reason.

　Huh? What? Did I do something weird?

"Shiina-san?"

"Oh, no, it's nothing!"

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

　With that said, she headed towards Morikawa-san.

　What was that?

　At that moment, I suddenly felt someone looking at me.

　When I turned around, my eyes met with Koizumi's, but their eyes only met for a moment, and then she clearly turned her back and sat down again.

　If I was mistaken, I'd be extremely embarrassed and self-conscious about it, but then I'd be the only one blushing.

　So I made up my mind and typed the chat message into my smartphone.

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

　Even though he felt embarrassed and was accused of meddling too much, it was impossible not to worry about Koizumi after she left with that look on her face.

　I was the one who encouraged him before. He might ignore my messages or reject them, but still.

　While I was thinking about that, my smartphone started ringing.

"Okay."

　Just one word in the chat somehow brings a smile to my face.

　All the while, I didn't notice Shiina-san staring in my direction.

♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢

　The usual deserted bench. Koizumi came with a lunch bag in one hand and sat down on the bench in silence.

　Our eyes didn't meet, to the point that I had the misguided impression that she couldn't even see me sitting next to her, but when she was looking away from me so obviously, it was the same as if I was aware of it.

"this"

　I point the tea I had bought on the way here towards her.

　When Koizumi saw it.

"Is that okay?"

"If you don't want it, I'll drink it."

"I'll take it. Thanks."

　To be honest, I bought it just to start a conversation, but the conversation ended there.

　Did she sense that I was worrying about what to say?

"It's okay."

　Koizumi said this with a relaxed look on her face while holding a cup of tea in both hands.

“I’ve already been dumped, so no matter how much I worry about it, it’s too late now. It’s my fault for making people see me that way.”

"That's not true. Koizumi has done nothing wrong---"

"That's fine."

"teeth?"

"That's fine now."

　I was at a loss for words. I had no idea what Koizumi was saying.

"That's not okay... You haven't done anything wrong."

"I was the one who misled him, wasn't I? If so, it's my fault. So I'm fine now."

　I called Koizumi today to encourage her, just like I was encouraged that day.

　So I don't want to talk about this. There's nothing good in it.

　Even though I knew this, why did I feel so irritated? The emotions overflowing from my body just wouldn't stop.

“If it’s alright with you then look at me and tell me. Doesn’t that bother you?”

"Of course it's spicy!"

　The voice carried loudly even though it was outdoors, and it rang out so painfully that it shook me to my very core.

　Koizumi turned around vigorously and glared at me, tears streaming down her face, just like the day we cried on this bench.

"The person I loved...! The person I loved made a terrible mistake and dumped me!? There's no way it's okay! But there's nothing I can do about it now..."

　The plastic bottle is gripped so tightly that the label is pushed up, and tears wet the asphalt ground.

　Seeing her like that only made me feel more irritated.　

"I'll go to Sakuma's place and clear up this misunderstanding."

"Stop it."

"They'll act like they don't know you two are dating."

"Stop it."

"So starting tomorrow--"

"I told you to stop!"

　It was a shout laced with anger, but the blood that had risen to her head still showed no sign of subsiding.

　They are standing opposite each other, but facing in different directions.

"You don't have to worry anymore."

　As I glanced at Koizumi's hair fluttering in the wind, I heard the sound of the door closing behind me.

　There is an unopened plastic bottle of tea on the bench.

"What am I doing..."

　It was an arrogant thought.

　I only summoned Koizumi because of my personal feelings, I didn't consider her feelings at all.

　I knew nothing about what Koizumi was thinking, what was important to her, or what made her angry.

　Of course. Because.

　Koizumi and I just happened to meet on this bench, and we're not friends.

　It doesn't matter to me if you are always misunderstood, if you are never able to say anything, or if you are hurt.

　The words from earlier flashed back in my head.

"You don't have to worry anymore, everything's fine"

"Fuck……"

　After being pushed away with those kind words, I threw the rest of my tea into the trash.