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Chapter 068

The nalfeshee is a demon twice the size of a man and has a build similar to a gorilla. Their pig-like face and ability to speak detract from this, though many seeing only their back mistake them for the mundane animal.

Their physical powers are similar to the level of the hezrou but they are skilled in nature based magics and are more intelligent in that it is possible to have a true conversation with a nalfeshee.

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Kythia

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I look up at the near full moon, it’s the second night since Alttânin flew away.

Moonlight Runner thinks he is the same as we are. I am not sure, they both smell the same and it is certainly the same body but they act differently. Moonlight Runner and me act differently though too.

I want to go chase down my mate before the moonblood of our pack ends but I do not know which direction he went and cannot catch his scent.

I frown at the moon and how Moonlight Runner is not strong enough to manifest tonight, she could find our mate.

I look at the tent of my sleeping pack sisters, I have not told them about what Moonlight Runner thinks of this dragon. It would go badly, Lysan would be heartbroken and Talia would never forgive herself for hurting our mate so much twice.

Everyone got ready to leave as soon as my mate got back but we didn’t have enough space in the fire carriages to hold everything and they have almost none of that clear oil to burn.

I almost start walking back towards where we came from but stop myself. I need to take care of our pack; the alpha male is strong and will come back or we will just linger here until we die.

I yawn, I am tired but not enough to have to sleep, but I can feel Moonlight Runner calling me to sleep and converse. I barely glance at the other sentry before I curl up behind a large rock. . .

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A vast forest covered in snow greets me, Moonlight Runner has calmed down. Last night this forest was burning, she was not happy that our mate flew away.

I can still feel she is upset, but she has forgiven me, for whatever part of this is my fault. I am always amazed at how fast Moonlight Runner will forgive members of the pack while she never forgets anything that hurt us or anyone else she considers a part of the pack.

I smile at my sister who is a part of me, “please tell me what is wrong, and how we can bring back our mate.”

There is almost a growl in Moonlight Runner's voice as she answers, she has not quite forgiven me then.

“You and the other females pushed away our mate.”

“You already told me that, but the dragon was not the same as Adrian, he is also not a manifestation of the gift of the moon.”

Moonlight Runner lunges at me and tackles me to the ground. Her eyes are now inches away from my own and her teeth are bared as she growls, “they are the same.”

A flash of memory, one from Moonlight Runner runs through my mind. She was sitting confused at why she was awake and then our mate sat up.

His smell was the same, his demeanor was somewhat different than normal but he showed her who he was through an act. He gently bit her ear while holding her. The same positions as the last time I mated with my mate.

Moonlight Runner doesn’t understand any of the words he mumbled and so neither do I in her memory but it is clear, she sees him as her mate. She sees them to be like we are to each other.

I nod at Moonlight Runner. They share memory, Alttânin is my mate like Moonlight Runner is Adrian's. I am not sure of it but Moonlight Runner is probably right.

I regret not letting him mount me after showing off, that is exactly what I was fantasying over since my mate called himself weak.

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Moonlight Runner

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I get up off my two-legs. Sister is smart and better at dealing with complicated things. That must be why my ancestors made the moon gift pact.

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“I am sorry, I was worried over how he was not acting like our mate usually does.”

Sister puts her hand on my snout and her version of what happened flashes through my mind. I don’t really understand all the words and talking but I can see why sister acted against our mate.

We both turn to the sky in this dream, the moon here is the same on sister looked at before sleeping. I am strong enough to partially manifest if sister allows it, but I cannot shift our body that requires more moonlight than there is tonight.

I growl and sister joins it, we both want to run and hunt for our mate. Our moonblood is almost over and we do not get it every moon as the other two-legs so often do.

“Could you find our mate tomorrow if I gave you control?”

I look at sister in surprise, it is rare for her to let me out. Tomorrow night I could become a regular wolf and search but I am unsure if we can catch his sent after so long. I could try now but it would hurt us, there just is not enough moonlight.

Rather than answer I lick my sister’s face. I will try it if she asks, though I might not give back control to easily. Being outside is just too good, only for the good of the pack or our mate would I ever just give it up.

That and I want to ‘talk’ with the other females in the pack about what they did to our mate. . .

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Talia

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I wake up to find that Kythia fell asleep during her shift. That is unlike her.

A tear rolls down sister's cheek as she sleeps. She loves Adrian more than me. I am willing to be his lover, especially the sex parts, but she just wants to be with him.

I want to curl up and cry like sister, but I need to be strong for her. I can’t make Kythia take all the burden of holding us together when Adrian is gone.  

Kythia bolts upright from behind the rock where I saw her sleeping. She stares at me for a few seconds before releasing a growl and tackling me to the ground.

“Where is our mate?”

A tiny amount of panic surfaces within me, this is Kythia’s wolf not her. I quickly rationalize away my fears of being brutally ripped apart, she has never hurt sister or me and Kythia said she considers us part of her pack.

“I don’t know, someone else is in his body” I say with a little bit of a stutter. Kythia’s wolf is scary even without manifesting her full self.

“Not other person, different part. Like sister and me. Where go?”

My mind stops, different part? I barely register that I point in the direction the dragon flew off in, Southeast.

“Different part, same person?”

Kythia’s wolf answers me in a growl. “Yes, you two-legs drive away mate. I go find, you stay and guard pack.”

With that she jumps off of me and with a pained expression turns into a malnourished wolf, far smaller than any other time I’ve seen Kythia let her out to ‘play’.

Just what Kythia’s wolf said doesn’t hit me fully until she is gone. I fall to my knees and then my butt.

I hurt him again, we all hurt him. The possibility that they are not the same person doesn’t come to my mind.

I hurt the one man that ever kept his word to me and kept me safe from becoming a slave. I hurt the man who my sister loves. I hurt the man who I owe my life to. I . . .

I don’t know if I can make it better this time, I didn’t deserve to be forgiven last time. I can’t hope to be forgiven this time, and there is nothing I can give now to someone else to keep sister safe.

Only the last words of Kythia’s wolf give me any hope to go on, she will bring Adrian back and I can beg and give my life to keep sister safe. . .

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Adrian

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It is dawn again when I open my eyes, there is a sign for what I think might have been a church. There are only two words still legible; Faith and Hope.

I can’t see what the message once was but something clicks in my head, I don’t have to be certain I can act on the hope that something is right. This must have been what mom kept going on about faith.

I still don’t plan on following her god, but there is one thing aside from most of the morals he teaches I can now agree with, or at least understand. I think so anyways, I’m still not sure. I can’t be until it works or fails.

I need to get dragon-me back. He is a piece of me and I’m just going to have to share with him. Right? Not sure, find him and make him manifest within me again.

That is my plan, how can I do that?

Why did he show up the first time? Not sure? Is there still a connection between us? We were a single soul so maybe, or maybe not.

If there is stuff that makes him stronger might get him to talk again. If there isn’t then . . . What?

Soul magic? Would he still count as a piece of me? How could I track him? I don’t know. Act of faith first, find something that made him stronger and use it.

What did that in my memories? I’m not sure, dragon’s blood? Treasure? Being dragon-like?

The first one is easiest, just drink the blood of a dragon. Where can I find some?

Dragon-me might have put some of that other dragon in Void Cache, but I don’t think I can use that. Find another dragon and kill it? I have doubts about fighting one, but dragon-me could kill one so why not me-me?

Are these doubts from my seeming lack of ability to have confidence, or because I may not be strong enough?

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I am not sure how long I stared at the church sign but my mind is ordered again, it just is still not me. I am not a faithy religious person, that is my mom. This is not right for me but it will have to work for now. Better than what I was doing before.

With a sigh I kneel down and give thanks in a prayer to the Christian God, it’s a sign from one of his churches so he deserves this much or maybe it’s the pastor or priest who does? 

Whatever if it’s the priest who set up the sign argue with your god about it later. Like always I don’t get any response, but I also am not looking for one as mom would say.

I stand up and sigh at the chaotic mess of my mind and turn back towards where I think the Althaen camp might be, there could be a bottle of dragon's blood still there somewhere.

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At dusk I give up my search through the rubble of the Althaen camp, I regret just how thorough I was in my frenzied hate? Is that even a thing? I’m not sure, hell I’m not even sure I did all this destruction and I have memories of doing it. Fucked up missing a piece of my soul bullshit.

I want that piece of me back but the feeling is hollow, maybe it is considered greed? That could be something dragon-like that is dragon-me’s part of our soul?