V1C2 The Righteous Mission

(Lil’ Wub Wub’s POV)

As we split, I started to aimlessly meander in the general direction away from my dear brother. I wasn't too surprised to see him use a face close to our original. Neither was it stranger to see him with a blonde colored hairstyle similar to his own. He seemed to be a natural at moving his new ears though. That, or he should be writing a well-worded thank you letter to the system for saving him from yet another embarrassment.

That was the difference between us. He takes this as just a game, while I take the more mature route. I only allow myself to degrade to his level when we are around each other. Everyone needs a good laugh every once in a while, right?

However, as soon as we separate, it’s back to my usual manner. Right now, the scowl on my character’s face felt natural. What could be more mature than an angry orc?

I walked away from another scared citizen. One thing I didn’t take into account with this character was the intimidation effect. I sure hope my brother is doing a better job, because no NPC wanted to even talk to me, much less ask me for help.

I rounded a corner into an alley. It was deserted, not that I cared too much. My eyes fell to the only noteworthy thing in the alley: a paint can/ brush combo with a note beside it. Being the mature citizen I am, I stooped over to pick up the load and read over the letter to try to find out whose supplies I had chanced upon. Perhaps this would even lead to a quest.

The letter ever so helpfully said, ‘You know what to do.’

No signature or anything. Greaaaaat. I glanced around as my mind raced. What could it possibly mean? Anyhow, I decided to put the paint to a mature use. Maturely.

-Two hours, countless dick drawings, and a couple of well-placed mustaches later…-

‘Mature? Who said anything about being mature? This is a game, dammit! It’s meant to be enjoyed!’

My mind was making some excellent points against my conscience. Though, it probably didn’t have to try too hard, as there were no counter points being made.

An arrow thudding into the wall right behind my fleeing hide reminded me of more pressing matters.

“Get the miscreant!”

‘Ahh, guards. The ever-so-easy-to-trick enforcer of the law.’

Wait, that’s not quite right…

‘Ahh, guards. The amateur artists that are just envious of my exceptional artistic masterpieces.’

There we go!

They had finally caught me painting my ninety-whatever genitalia. Which leads to our current not-so-high-speed pursuit.

There are five of them, currently, slowly inching closer to me. I was having a bit of trouble with my new bulky body. They were being led by their captain, and each had his or her crossbow out. I dashed around a corner leading to yet another alley, throwing a glance to my pursuers. Hah! I was finally putting some distance between myself and the five!

…

Wait, five?

Let’s see, I saw the two beastmen leading the group, followed closely by the female elf. Next was the human, and slowly trudging behind them all was the dwarf. But where was…

The captain!

I skidded to a halt as his figure blocked my exit. His human face had a couple of veins showing bright red against his slightly tanned skin. His brow furrowed deeply. He was almost handsome, if not for the dripping, midnight black mustache above his lip.

Well-placed, no?

I chanced upon his sleeping figure outside the guardhouse and couldn’t resist it! In fact, I made the entire guardhouse my mustache playground, painting them all over the bounty notices and across the guards’ faces. My pride was the elf’s bushy-looking beard, flanked by the string belonging to the monocle over her left eye.

Cut off by the captain in front of me and his lackeys behind, my only escape was above. I took off towards the wall, as I was a firm parkour enthusiast. I practiced my rolling every day!... What? I never said I was good at it…

Whatever lacking skills I had seemed to be just enough, as I was out of my pursuers’ grasp! They couldn’t possibly scale a wall in that armor! I’m home free!

For outrunning the guards, you’ve gained

+1 AGI

+ infamy!

Good job, you scoundrel!

Congratulations! You currently have the highest infamy in the game! Keep up the dirty work.

I closed the windows and scampered across the rooftops. I only stopped when I believed to be far enough away. My pant-filled giggles were interrupted by a resounding one-man applause. I looked towards the source to find a pale face sprinkled with freckles and wrapped in a bushy red beard. The beard was real, so don’t go asking where I got a can of red paint. His hearty laugh seemed infectious, but it was not very effective. My thoughts only allowed one subject to be on my mind, which spilled out in a question towards the ginger.

“So why the skirt?” (W)

His faced and applause froze. His expression plummeted as he replied in a heavy Scottish accent.

“It’s a kilt, it is! Aye, no man’s a man without one!”

“Oh yeah? And where’s your bagpipe?” (W)

“I left it at- Wait, no! I’m here on business!”

“And what business is that, oh Celtic god of kilts?” (W)

“That’s MISTER Celtic god of kilts! And I’m not even over kilts! Name’s Dwyn, Celtic god of pranks! And you, sonny, just caught my interest!” (D)

“Seriously?” (W)

“Aye! I’m here to make you my minion!” (D)

I thought about it. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting a god of mischief. A god of devilish looks, sure. Goddess of wisdom, cool. A god of mischief was almost as likely as a god of meekness. Still, one god’s as good as the next.

“Where do I sign?” (W)

“As if you had a choice, laddie! The next time you see me will be when you’re ready for your class! Oh, and I’ve also got your first quest. I need you to spread my teachings, namely, pranking the crap out of everyone you come across!” (D)

I’d already agreed, and it wasn’t like anyone else was going to give me a quest. “Alright, but on two conditions.” (W)

A look of surprise spread across his face, before it was invaded by a smile. Then, his laugh boomed out, followed by, “Oh, that’s grand! An orc? Making demands to a god?” Booming laugh again. “Alright, I’ll bite. What have ya got?” (D)

“First, the fitting garments of a Celtic god’s minion. Namely, a kilt of my own.” (W)

“Comes with the class! And the second?” (D)

A smile spread across my face. ‘Man, wait ‘til my brother sees this…’

(Thundatwin’s POV)

Freezing cold water brought my forced power nap to an end. Oddly enough, it helped with the pounding on the back of my head. After the shivering subsided and I could communicate past blubbering, I stared up at a dark elf. He lacked a name hovering just above his head, making him an NPC.

“I’m sorry Prince Charming, but that was hardly a kiss to wake Sleeping Beauty. Wanna walk out so we can start take two?” (T)

A snort met my joke. “Sleeping Beauty wouldn’t have caused a bar fight in my fine establishment which ruined most of my tables and mugs. Also, she probably would have fared better than you. Now get up, you owe me a silver for the room and wood for the furniture.”

“You call this a room? It’s hardly worth being called a dungeon. I wouldn’t be surprised if you kept the skeletons of your victims under the bed!” (T)

“Seeing your brown clothes, I don’t think you could stay in any other rooms. And you can check under the bed yourself.”

I actually did check, to his amusement. But alas, ‘twas naught betwixt the bed and the creaky floor but a couple of cobwebs. Straightening myself upright, I paid him the silver, shedding a tear. I checked the time and was surprised that I was out cold for just over four hours. Refocusing, we proceeded with the conversation.

“So, back to the brown clothes, how do you expect me to get firewood?” (T)

“That, son, is your problem. I need five stacks of firewood. You can earn the money to buy some, or you can hunt the treants in the nearby forest. They’re at level five, so prepare yourself. You’ll have to work it out with the other brawlers to see who is getting how much.”

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At that, the dogwoman came in through the door. She was probably listening to the whole conversation, I noticed.

“’Sup. Thanks for the help last night, by the way. The five stacks will be split between the two of us and those three guys from last night.”

At that, a window opened in front of me.

New Quest:

Hard Hangover

SharableCongratulations! You’ve ruined a bar! Nice! But as payment, you owe 1 silver and 50 logs of firewood! Not nice! This is shared between everyone who helped in the destruction of this fine establishment.Requirements:

5 stacks of firewood.Quest members:

BodyOgre,

L0ckj4w,

Shadowstepp499,

StephOFF,

ThundatwinAccept Quest?YesNo

I mentally clicked the yes button before pming Wub Wub.

ChatThundatwin: hey, just woke up (long story). finally got a quest! you should get the share now.Lil' Wub Wub: I’m glad you’re having better luck than I am… I spent all night looking for one. I just accepted it by the way.Thundatwin: it's cause you're ugly.Thundatwin: i’m about to invite this chick to the party. she started the fight, after all…Lil' Wub Wub: I would be mad, but you’re actually right about that. And cool. I’ll start walking. What's the bar called?Thundatwin: get this. the Braying Mare.Lil' Wub Wub: Okay WOW. Cliche much?Thundatwin: twas what i said. anyway, see you soon.Lil' Wub Wub: Alright, but don't forget to work on your explanation. I'm hungry for details.

Wub Wub joined your quest!

The girl in front of me, who I assumed was StephOFF, rose an eyebrow at me. She probably got the window as well.

“Called in reinforcements.” (T)

“I can see that.” She said.

“He said he’d be here momentarily. I’d offer a drink, but I doubt the drinks one can get for 50 copper are very tasty.” (T)

She shrugged in response.

I sent her a party invite, which she accepted. The ordeal was uneventful. With nothing else to do, I observed Steph, the only other person in the room; the dark elf was long gone. She seemed to have built up quite a bit of money, as she was no longer in the noobie clothes. She was in some kinda green poncho, which oddly suited her. She had tan skin and wild black hair.

We were saved from the awkward atmosphere by the arrival of my brother. He came striding in with an arrogant attitude.

“No freakin’ way…” (T)

I had found the reason why.

Above his head was his usual name and level; no surprises there. On another line beneath it were the words ‘Master of Bread.’

“I thought you’d like it.” (W)

“Cool! I didn’t think anyone would have a title yet!” Steph chimed in between chuckling.

“Oh, right! Wub Wub Steph, Steph Wub Wub.” (T) My manners never fail!

“A level three? Nice.” (W)

“Yeah, that’s what a couple of quests around town will get you.” This brought a look of endless misery from my brother. “But I’m still not sure about level five treants…” (S)

I explained to my perplexed brother our quest’s details, as well as the events of the night before. He had a couple of laughs, especially about my description of the dwarf, who had miraculously grown a couple of feet since last night.

With nothing better to do, we went on our way. Wub Wub seemed to be in high spirits. On an unrelated subject, someone went crazy with graffiti. It was probably some middle schooler playing the game. They have a strange obsession with drawing penises for some reason. Steph seemed to find the whole situation humorous, asking, “What kind of immature person could have done such a thing?” in a sarcastic manner before switching to a series of laughter.

We got to the eastern gate near the guardhouse. It was the closest to the forest. Suddenly, it was as if we hit an invisible wall. I might’ve seemed to have been that way because we actually did hit an invisible wall. The following realization hurt more than the wall.

I had forgotten.

We can’t leave the town for another two days.

A female guard walked up and explained that we were a little too inexperienced to leave yet. At least, she seemed to be a female… She had a pretty face and a high voice; however, she was an elf, and male elves are known to appear quite feminine. The facial hair seemed to point to a male disposition. The monocle she had threw me for a loop. Until I noticed that it and the facial hair had been painted on. I could also see what looked like a signature on her jawline. Regardless, I resisted the urge to laugh and apologized for taking her time. We trudged back into town.

For using your mental fortitude to resist the urge to laugh, you gained a stat point!

+1 WIS

I released my laugh now, receiving a smug smile from Wubs and a startled expression from StephOFF.

The laughter resided, I sigh out “I feel bad for that lady…” (T)

Wub Wub avoided my gaze while StephOFF tilted her head in confusion.

“Lady…?” (S)

“The guard? Just now?” (T)

“But he had a beard…” (S)

My brother and I tried to explain to her the unfortunate guard’s situation between giggling and gasping for breath. She joined in shortly as the message finally went across, renewing our chuckling vigor.

We made our way to a nearby street vendor and paid for a couple of apples.

“Ahhh! Much better than bread!” (T)

To let the passersby know, I let the juice adventure down my chin. Totally on purpose.

I watched my satiety bar slowly fill as I chewed. The need to eat in a game was something that I’d have to consider.

Making our way back to the bar, we decided discussing classes.

“So what’re you guys thinking about for classes?” (S)

I thought for a moment. This game has endless opportunities through their unique class system. Every player starts out as a beginner until they reach level 10. From there, the class hunting starts. By this, I mean that there are near countless options for a combat class. This game has from elemental wizard to a pirate. It spelled out trouble for my indecisive tendencies. From there, you start as a level 1 whatever. Once you hit level 50 though, you get a class advancement quest. As the game developers didn’t want the crafting classes to be stuck in a town for their playing career, they made the option for a subclass. It, too, seemed limitless, though it had less impressive classes. These ranged anywhere from cook to blacksmith. Though you could definitely prepare food without having the subclass, you’d have a harder time without the system assist and extra stat bonuses.

For now, I just went with my go-to answer.

“Dunno.” (T)

“Uhuh… and you?” (S)

“Healer?” (T)

“Healer. What about yourself, Steph?” (W)

“I want a class where I can just keep slashing!” (S)

We both sighed at her simplicity as we entered the Braying Mare. The owner seemed upset seeing us so soon.

“What’re you doing back here so soon…?”

“Guards won’t let us out to hunt. Is there any way we can get it later?” (T)

“Sure, but I’m gonna hafta put you to work in the meantime.”

Did his eyes just glint…?

A/N: As you’ve probably guessed, the characters in this story are based off of my brother and I, as well as some friends of mine. So if you have problems with one of the characters, just know you’re crushing someone’s hopes and dreams! :D

But really, it’s just loosely based. By no Means is StephOFF that chill IRL. But her simplicity is fairly accurate, if I do say so myself!

ANYWAY (sorry warhawx), hope you enjoy!